Chapter Ten

It took them a month to get to Hunedoara and the Monastery. They had survived quite well, no major problems with the Germans or anyone else for that matter. Karl was almost to full fitness, Alex seemed to be fine but wouldn't talk about what went on at the camp. He was also very nervous and found it difficult to concentrate on anything for long.

Ardeth was suffering from tiredness, nightmares, sleeplessness and almost constant headaches. Father Shandor hoped that once they arrived at the monastery the men would start to get better mentally. Physically they were on the mend but it would take a while to build up their strength and weight.

The monastery was in quite good shape, it had taken a few bombings but the monks that were left there had done some remarkable work in restoring the damage. They were so glad to see the men back after so many months away. Brother Petri took them straight to the great hall and dished up hot food and drinks, while some of the others went and made up beds for them all.

They were all exhausted and it didn't take long for them to retire to their rooms without even talking much to each other. Knowing they were safe was all that they cared about. The other monks didn't question anyone, next day would be soon enough to find out the details off Father Shandor.

Alex, Karl and Father Shandor were asleep in minutes. Samuel fell asleep for a while and then woke up about 3am. He was hungry and went to find something to eat. He met one of the Brothers in the corridor.

"Sorry I couldn't sleep, is it okay to go and get something to eat?" he asked.

"Of course, come I will show where everything is. Your friend Ardeth is already in the study, he never went to bed. Take your food in there, it is more comfortable, the Father will not mind" replied the man.

Once Samuel had got the food, he went into the study, to find Ardeth sitting at the desk, his head on his arms and looked like he had fallen asleep like that. The sound of the door made him jump up.

"You startled me, couldn't sleep either" said Ardeth.

"No, I was hungry, want some, there is enough for two here"

Ardeth thanked him and rubbing his eyes took a sandwich and nibbled at it. Samuel knew something was bothering the man and so he asked him why he was there.

"Samuel I just can't seem to settle. I'm on edge all the time, I can't sleep even though I am so tired and these headaches just don't seem to ease. I thought it would get better after all this time but it hasn't"

"Ardeth, you know what happened to you last time and how long it took you to come to terms with it, why do expect it to be easier now. In some ways you have been through more this time. You have seen things that no man should have ever been witness to. Give yourself some time, try and get some sleep"

"I wish I could, every time I try, the dreams come and then with it, the headaches. Please don't tell Alex, he has his own nightmares to cope with. I will be fine"

Samuel didn't say anything else, he said goodnight and left the man sitting there. He would have a word with Father Shandor the next day and see if he could come up with anything to help Ardeth.

Ardeth sat there and thoughts of those people kept coming back, the trains, the gas chambers and the bodies. How many had died in the time that he was there, he didn't know, it must have been thousands and for what. That was the one thing he couldn't answer, what reason did these men have for killing, no murdering all these innocent men, women and children.

Oh God the children, how many of those had died, they had never grown up, seen the world, experienced the things that other people would in a lifetime. That was what was upsetting him the most and there were still kids there and arriving. How many would be dead before the war ended.

It was July now and the rumours that the war would be over by the next spring were widespread. But that was eight maybe nine months away. Trying to stop thinking about it for a while his thoughts turn to Evy, how was she he wondered. He put his fingers to his lips and remembered the kiss as they left the dock that day. Why had he done that, he had never attempted to kiss her like that before and she seemed to like it. He never did speak to Alex about that, he should have apologized for kissing his mother in front of him. He would do it the next day.

It was getting to the same stage as before, he had stayed awake so long that he was now awake and sleep eluded him altogether. Maybe that following night would be different but he doubted it. He would tell no-one, they didn't need to worry about him, they had their own problems. If asked he will tell them that he had slept after all.

"Alex can I have a word with you" he asked the next day.

"Of course what is it?"

"It is more of a confession really. About your mother"

"My mother, why, what have you done?" asked Alex puzzled.

"When we left for Germany all those months ago, you remember I kissed Evy on the dock. I wanted to explain why but never got round to it. Either because I was busy or because I was worried about your reaction"

"I remember, I thought it was nice and the look on her face was a picture. But why worry about what I thought?"

Ardeth paced the floor, as he had done ever since they had got back. He had gone this far, he would have to tell him the truth.

"I kissed her because I am in love with her. I have been for years and I just had this gut feeling that I would never see her again and didn't want to leave things unsaid. She never knew how I felt, she fell in love with your father and I would never break up a happy home for my own desires"

Alex went over and stood in front of Ardeth, he thought he was going to get hit from the young man but instead, he was propelled onto a seat by the window.

"Ardeth, I will tell you something now, even my mother doesn't know that I know. She and dad have been having major problems, he has left her. As I said she doesn't think I know, but I have friends who know dad and tell me what he has been doing. After Ahm Shere, there were many arguments, many days, weeks even where they didn't even speak to each other. I stayed out of it mostly, I was at boarding school for a while and then as I grew older, spent all my spare time with you. I couldn't bear to see her unhappy but there was nothing I could do. Then when I saw you kiss her like that, I thought at least she has someone who cares"

"I never knew they were having those sort of problems. Where has he gone?"

Alex got up and poured a coffee from the pot that one of the brothers had brought in. Handing a cup to Ardeth.

"I don't really know, mum says on a dig, a friend says South America with the government. What are you going to do about this?"

Drinking the coffee, Ardeth didn't answer for a while, his headache was coming back and he closed his eyes to the pain, making Alex become a little concerned.

"Ardeth…are you alright?"

"Yes…it's this headache it comes on out of the blue and with a vengeance. I don't know what I am going to do. The way I feel at the moment I don't want her to see me like this. She suffered enough the last time as you know, so did others, I can't put her through that again"

A man came in and asked Alex if he would help him with something and leaving Ardeth by the window, told him he would see him later.

"Go and lay down for a while, try and get rid of that headache" he said.

Ardeth nodded but knew it wouldn't go now for many hours and he would have another night where he got no sleep. He would have to do something, he had been without sleep for about 3 days now and it was telling on him, plus he wasn't eating well either. He decided that he would go and lay down but it would only be for rest nothing else.

Alex told the man he would be with him in a minute that he wanted to have a word with Father Shandor first. He went and knocked on the door.

"Can I have a word Father?"

"Of course Alex, come in. what can I do for you. Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes a lot better, it will take a while for me to put this behind me, but I think I will be able to eventually. No it was not me I wanted to talk to you about, it was Ardeth. I am worried about him. He is not eating properly and definitely not sleeping. I was talking to him earlier and he seemed okay and then suddenly he got this terrible headache that made him turn rather pale. I told him to go and lay down but I don't know what else to do"

"I have noticed he is not sleeping but I assumed it would come with time. I didn't know about the headaches. What you both have been through is going to take time and patience to get over, if you ever do. It will always be with you but you will learn to cope with it. Especially you, you are young and the young have a power to overcome problems much easier that us older ones. Ardeth is going to have a harder time than most, this is the second time he has suffered at the hands of these monsters and it is my fault this time. I should never have made him go back"

Alex leaned forward in the chair and thought for a moment.

"You didn't make him Father, it was his decision he knew what the dangers were and he decided that these people needed his help. That is the way he is, but no-one could have known what these camps were like, not many had survived to tell people about the horrors inside the wire"

"Thank you, I know you are right, but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty. If he is not any better in the next day or so, I will get someone to talk to him, don't worry he will be fine"

Alex thanked him and was about to leave when the Father called him back.

"Alex, did you ever write to your mother and tell her that you were safe?"

"I am in the middle of writing the letter now, why do you ask?"

"Perhaps if she knew about the problems Ardeth is having, she might write to him. We can't leave for Egypt for at least another month, there is no ship to take us for another six weeks."

Alex nodded, he would do better than that he thought, later.

Later that day, Ardeth still couldn't sleep, the headache was worse and he felt sick. He had laid on the bed for several hours in the dark to try and shake off the pain but it hadn't worked. He decided to go and get something to drink to see if that would settle his stomach. Getting off the bed, he stood up and was suddenly hit by an excruciating pain in his head and he collapsed to the floor.

All the work in the basement was more or less done. Alex and the other brothers cleaned up and went to the kitchen to get some food. There had been a lot of stuff to move back to where it should be after it had been put in there after the bombing. It was nearly midnight and they were all shattered.

After eating Alex was going to see if Ardeth was okay but then decided that if he was asleep, disturbing him would be the worst thing to do, he would see him in the morning. He slept for about eight hours and getting up and washing, he went and knocked on Ardeths door. There was no answer so he opened it a little way to see if he was there.

In the dim light of the room, he could see the man laying on the floor, shouting for help, he ran in and pulled open the shutters on the window, then knelt beside the man on the floor.

"Ardeth, can you hear me…Ardeth"

Father Shandor and Brother Saul came running in and saw Alex kneeling beside the man. The Father felt his wrist and looked at his eyes.

"Get him on the bed, Brother Saul go and get the doctor in the village, quickly. This man is very ill"

"What's wrong with Father?" asked Alex.

"I have no idea at the moment, he is so cold, he must have been out for a long time"

"I knew I should have come in last night but I thought I might wake him if I did"

"It isn't your fault, we are all to blame for this, we should have realized how ill he was. Get some extra blankets from the other room, we have to get him warm. It might be July but he is freezing cold"

An hour later they waited while the doctor examined Ardeth. He still hadn't woken up and they were worried. The doctor came back into the study after leaving Brother Saul with the man.

"How is he doctor?"

"Very ill, he has been through a terrible ordeal and his body has just shut down, to the memories, the pain and of course the lack of food and nourishment. No-one knows why this happens, I have only seen it once before."

"But he hasn't come round yet, isn't that dangerous?"

"Yes, it is and from what Brother Saul told me of what happened to him before, this was the last straw. Keep him warm, I have given him an injection of an experimental drug that should bring him round in the next few hours. After that, get him to drink and eat as much as he can, little and often and try and get him to talk about what happened, it will help"

Alex was angry at the doctor and it showed. He stood up and had a right go at him.

"Experimental drugs and you are using it on him. How do you know it is safe, it could kill him. Call yourself a doctor, you are just a…"

"Alex that is enough" said Father Shandor "he is doing his best, none of us know what is wrong. The mind is a complicated thing, it effects people in different ways, all we can do is be there for him and hope he pulls through this"

Alex knew the man was right and he apologized to the doctor.

"That is okay, I know you are worried, we all are but there is no sign of disease or injury that could be causing this, the only thing left is his mind. He will get better but it could take a long time. He has…you both have seen things that no human being should have seen and experienced, even the strongest person would have problems. I will come back tomorrow unless there is any change for the worse"

The Father showed the man to the door and one of the Brothers took him from there. Turning to Alex.

"Alex, go and sit with him and talk to him, even though he is not awake, it could help, it did last time. I will be there in a while, there is something I have to do first"

The man nodded and just before he went out of the door, gave a letter for his mother to him and asked if he could get it sent, however letters were sent at the moment.

Father Shandor was glad he had the letter, he would be enclosing a letter of his own. There was one thing that might get Ardeth back on his feet.