Chapter 7-The Transition

Sydney had been sitting in the library for thirty minutes. She had pretended to make notes from a book she had been reading. But her mind was too preoccupied to do any actual studying. She finally grabbed her books and put them into her bag. She stood up and walked out to find Francie waiting for her at the entrance. She discreetly looked at her watch as they walked down the library steps.

"I'm sorry, but I'll have to meet you back at the apartment Francie."

"Why? Do you have to go to the bank?"

"No, I have a meeting with one of my professors." She lied.

"Okay. Hey, isn't Will coming over for dinner?" Francie asked suddenly remembering the small dinner party she had organised a few days ago.

"Yeah. I'll make sure I'll be back in time to help with the cooking. I just have to discuss the paper I've written. I won't take too long." Sydney smiled apologetically.

"You'd better not!" Francie waved goodbye as she headed across campus to her car.

Sydney waited for a few moments, carefully looking around her, before she headed off in the opposite direction.

Vaughn and Weiss both looked at their watches as they waited for Sydney in the Blood Donation van. Vaughn glanced up at the van door when he thought he heard a noise. When he saw that the door didn't open he looked across to Weiss. He couldn't help feeling that he was somehow intruding into Sydney and Weiss' meetings. As if he hadn't yet earned the right to be there.

Weiss could sense his awkwardness and apprehension. He tried to think of something to reassure Vaughn.

"You'll be running the show again." Weiss said looking at Vaughn.

"No, Sydney's always been the one in charge!" Vaughn replied lightly. "But what does that make you now?" Vaughn added.

"You can still call me Boss'!" Weiss answered.

"In your dreams!" Vaughn countered. Weiss smiled in relief as he saw that Vaughn seemed more relaxed. They then talked about sports while they continued to wait for Sydney.

She paused for a moment outside, not only to check to see if there was anyone following her, but also so that she could take a deep breath and prepare herself for the meeting. She couldn't explain why she was feeling so nervous. She finally opened the door and walked up the steps and into the van. Vaughn and Weiss were too busy laughing to notice her presence at first.

"Hey." Sydney said to them both after she closed the door behind her. Their laughter died away as their heads instantly turned towards Sydney. She blushed when another wave of nervousness washed over her.

"Hey." Weiss watched the expression on her face, trying to see how well she was dealing with Vaughn's return. Sydney managed to smile back. She put her bag down on the floor and sat on the table by the window.

"Hi, Syd." Vaughn said quietly, looking directly at her. He didn't want it to be a great emotional reunion. He could only deal with it all, if it got back to something resembling the routine and order of their previous counter-mission meetings.

Sydney's eyes met his gaze. Even though Weiss was sitting there with them, all she could see in the small van was Vaughn.

"We better get started since we're all here now." Weiss looked back at Vaughn. Weiss thought that the sooner Vaughn explained then details of the counter-mission, the sooner he could leave the van.

"Yeah, right." Vaughn said suddenly aware he had been staring at Sydney. She looked even lovelier than the last time they had met in the warehouse. The mid-afternoon sun shining through the window made her eyes sparkle and it seemed as if her hair was glowing.

"These are the pictures you have to plant at SD-6 and this is a copy of the device that you have to exchange with the real one. We will be able to contact you during the mission in Tokyo in case anything happens."

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning." Sydney replied as she carefully studied the documents Vaughn had handed to her. She could feel Vaughn's eyes on her and she longed to be able to look at his face also, but she knew that they had to remain as professional as possible especially as Weiss was there and that Vaughn was still on probation.

"Any questions?" Vaughn asked desperately trying to remain business-like and keep focussed on the mission.

"No. I think everything's covered." Sydney said finally looking up at both Vaughn and Weiss.

"Well Mike, I think I should be heading back to the office." He said, rising out of his seat. "I have to finish that report Devlin wanted." Vaughn was about to say what report?', but was silenced with a glare from Weiss.

"Okay, then. Syd, you know the drill. We'll meet once you get back from the mission." Weiss quickly headed to the door. They all knew that Vaughn should be monitored throughout every meeting, but Weiss was more than happy to give them some time alone.

"Sure. Bye Eric." Sydney said smiling gratefully at him even though she wasn't sure what she would actually do or say to Vaughn.

"Bye." Vaughn called out as Weiss closed the door to the van behind him.

Vaughn and Sydney sat in silence for several minutes. It was far from the comfortable silences that they had experienced in the past. Sydney just wanted to say something, anything to break the ice. It felt as if they were two strangers meeting for the first time. Vaughn then stood up, his head resting against the white cupboards on the wall.

"I think I'm allowed to talk to you, even though Eric's not here." Vaughn joked.

"Are you sure you're not breaking any CIA rules?" she retorted.

"I" Vaughn was suddenly at a loss for words.

"Look, I apologise for being mean. I don't want it to be like this. It shouldn't be this weird." Sydney said frustrated. She knew no one was to blame, but she couldn't think of a way to remedy the situation. She didn't want their relationship to still be this strained a year from now.

"I'm sorry." Vaughn said simply. He wasn't being either professional or a friend to Sydney. What was the point of fighting to get re-instated if Sydney thinks that I don't want to be her Handler anymore?' he thought. "I knew that things would change between us our working relationship'." he emphasised.

"I thought it would change for the better." She said sadly.

"How can it be better, Syd?" He said bitterly. He realised that the past would always be there, dogging any hope for a fresh start. Sydney looked up; startled by his comment. She was surprised that he was so completely different from the Vaughn she had first met. The two qualities she had so admired, his inherent optimism and amenable nature had been squashed and replaced instead with distrust and cynicism.

"Are you ready to give up? She asked. Her eyes flashed with hurt and rejection. She had almost lost him once before and she knew that she would never take him for granted ever again.

"Doesn't matter how much we try. It's impossible to win when there are far too many factors against us." He said in resignation.

They both knew they weren't discussing their working relationship any more. The pain they both now felt by simply being together seemed to be greater than any other feelings they had for each other.

"So this is the way it's going to be from now on?"

"I'm tired Syd. Tired of holding my breath. That's what it feels like I've been doing for so long. But yes, this is the way it has to be from now on." He said flatly.

"Why are you here" It was her turn to surprise him. She rose to her feet as she spoke. "if you hate me so much?" she challenged.

"It would be easier if I did." He confessed. "But, I don't hate you." Vaughn just sighed. Sydney's anger disappeared when she saw the expression on his face. She slowly walked up to face Vaughn directly.

"Then what do you feel for me?" She was scared to know what his response would be.

"I feelmore than I should." He whispered. He raised his right hand and took a lock of her soft cinnamon coloured hair in his fingers. He felt relieved now she had forced him to say the truth out loud. However it now made their situation more complicated, not less.

Sydney's eyes locked with Vaughn's. She could see the hope she felt, reflected in his eyes. They had reached this point before and Vaughn had tried to walk away, unwilling to deal with the consequences. But it felt different this time as they stood there finally acknowledging their mutual feelings.

Sydney moved even closer towards Vaughn and gently pressed her lips against his. There wasn't the usual anxiety of a first kiss, but only desire and passion. She could feel his fingers rake through her long hair as the kiss intensified. In that instant she knew it was worth the risk and having to add to all the deceit because it felt even better than she had imagined.

Vaughn wanted to stay in that moment forever. Being so close to Sydney meant that he could temporarily forget all the obstacles that had been placed in the way of their happiness. He suddenly remembered where they were. He broke away from Sydney and he returned to earth with a bump.

"I have to go. I'll have a lot of explaining to do if Devlin thinks I've gone AWOL." He said regretfully.

"Traffic. It's always bad at this time of day." She said smiling at him. He didn't want to move away from her. His arms remained wrapped around her waist.

"That's true!"

"Wait here." She said all of a sudden. She gently moved his hands away from her and turned to face the window. She walked towards the table and grabbed a pen from a side pocket on her bag. She wrote in small capital letters on the palm of his left hand, the name of hotel and the alias she would use for her booking.

When he realised what she was doing, he asked, "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." She said with certainty. "We've already spent too much time apart."

"Okay."

"Good!" she said brightly. "I'll see you later." She kissed Vaughn on the cheek and swiftly picked up her bag and left the van before either of them could voice all of the reasons why they were crazy to risk their lives in that way.

Vaughn couldn't move for a few moments. He was stunned that their relationship had changed so quickly. Finally a gentle smile spread across his face, which only left his face when he returned to his office.

Weiss walked into Vaughn's office after he heard he had returned.

"So?" Weiss asked.

"So what?" Vaughn asked in mock ignorance.

"Are you and Syd okay?" He asked carefully choosing his words

"Yeah, it's fine now. It was a bit weird at first, but it's fine now."

"Good." Weiss said as he guessed the truth. But he didn't want to say anything else. He was happy for them both. He knew exactly what Vaughn and Sydney had gone through to get to that point in their relationship. He didn't want to add any extra pressure or raise Devlin's suspicions even further.

"So what are you doing tonight." Weiss asked as he headed to the door.

"Not sure yet." Vaughn replied.

"Playing it by ear?"

"Yeah, something like that." Vaughn smiled, grateful that Weiss understood. "Hey Eric?"

"Uh-huh?" Weiss said turning to face Vaughn

"Thanks for your help."

"No problem." Weiss said brightly before walking out of the office.

For the rest of the day Vaughn thought of nothing else, but the date with Sydney that night.