I'm not own Harry Potter.


James was sure that his love for Lily was true love, that the first moment he saw her he immediately wanted to associate her only with himself forever and ever.

But now he realized it was just a stubborn crush at the time. For the past two weeks, the little crush has become something much bigger, so much so that compared to what it was at first, he didn't know what love was.

He could feel his heart pounding hard every time he thought of her, an amazing warmth developed in his chest when he saw her and indistinct nerve surgeons analyzed him when she did not respond to his teasing.

It was something new.

Something new developed inside him, it startled and excited him at the same time with strange adrenaline waves.

He missed what he had in the beginning. That is, the last five years. Before those two weeks happened. Everything was much simpler then. To flirt, to laugh, to draw her attention to himself... Everything was a game. Challenging, but so much simpler.

And still, compared to what was developing now, it was all so meaningless. He knew that what he was feeling now was a hundred times more complicated, but after experiencing it, with all the tangles of confusing emotions it led to, he would never return to the previous state. Not after experiencing the real thing.

He didn't know what it was. Could it be love? And why then does it feel more and more like he's sick..?

_._._

Sirius wasn't sure when it happened, or why. And if that ever happened... No, wait a minute. It did happen. To the other questions, he didn't have the answer.

Then it happened.

Lily Evans began to drive him mad. He didn't really know why, but it was nerve-wracking.

It was strange, because he had never really thought of her before. She was too marginal, just a distraction in his school life. She was beautiful, sure, but there were many beautiful girls he could conquer, even without enticing James's girl.

He quite liked watching his good friend interact with his dream girl, it was funny. And he liked to think with horns about ways to draw attention from the redhead who plays hard to get.

Although, he liked to stretch tensions and pranks on Snivelly, the girl was ridiculously ridiculous! But nonetheless, he also supported James, in hindsight, it was clear why his friend hated Snape. But why did Sirius hate her? Well, she was just an unbearable and annoying girl with that condescending look on her face and the cold mockery that Sirius felt it his duty to mourn her school life.

Anyway, Evans has never been the center of his attention.

But lately something has been different about her. She was so annoying, not at something specific, but in general! For a few days now he couldn't think of anything but how annoying this girl was! Even the supernatural treatment of the Snivellin was not interesting enough.

This girl has changed, she is also more grumpy. And even though most of the time when he tried to make remarks about her, she ignored him — something that drove him crazy — the few answers she served to him were poignant and annoying! No girl had the right to talk to him like that and he just wanted to growl in nerves!

Stupid girl!

Sirius narrowed his eyes and looked at the Marauders Map again.

It seems she's hanging out with the Slytherin snake too much. Intolerable.

Doesn't she dare get any closer to him. He can't stand it!

The gray eyes found the tiny name on the map. Oh, here she is, in the potion class. What is she doing there alone without Snivelly?

Sirius leapt out of the room, leaving the tablecloth on the bed.

He had to clarify the situation for a certain redhead girl.

_._._

Remus looked away as soon as the green eyes met his eyes. He turned his attention back to the notes in his hands and tried not to look at Lily again.

But he couldn't concentrate on the text. His head beats thoughts on the Gryffindor.

Something was wrong.

He was the first to notice that she behaved differently. James and Sirius, of course, saw this too, but the realization of it hit them just two days ago.

Lily and Snape have become more crowded in recent days and have generally tried to avoid anyone else. And while the behavior matched the Slytherin, it wasn't very typical to Lily.

Mostly Remus saw them in the library, they were working on some project and looked pretty absorbed and frustrated.

There was something beyond this.

Increasingly, he got the feeling that whatever it was, was pretty severe.

Lily had been nervous the last two weeks, and while it was natural, there was something wrong here.

She did not hesitate to talk coolly to all the members of their home, but the looks and ridicule she addressed to the marauders were the worst. She always hated James's pranks and constant flirtation, but it was exaggerated.

But there was something else.

Remus could smell and sense with a animal instinct that something was wrong here. He wish his wolf abilities were more effective and able to pinpoint what exactly, but he had to deal with what was there.

Remus carefully looked up to see the two girls whispering quietly between them again.

He frowned. He felt unscrupulous that he was looking after them, but could not stop.

He tried to have some random conversations with her, he had done so in the past and that was fine, but the only response he was getting now was a deadly look and spray of venomous words.

It was... interesting. It attracted him for some reason.

Lily Evans had changed, it was arguable. But that wasn't a bad thing. No. It was intriguing.

And Remus did not find himself having the strength to stop following her.

_._._

Lily Evans walked into the library and took a quick look at the room.

In the far corner, Lupin was sitting, she ignoring him and walked to the side table where her friend was sitting.

"I can't anymore, Lily." The girl whispered and confidently held her book bag in the empty place.

The other girl looked up, her dark eyes slightly softening. "I know. It's not easy for me either. Though, I'm getting along better than I thought."

Lily moaned and ran her hand over her face. "I don't know how you got along with these boys."

Severin rise a black eyebrow, "Boys? As far as I remember, it was only Potter."

Lily scowled, "And Black and Lupin. They won't leave me alone." She made a small movement of her head towards the boy in the corner, "I loathe them. Why even now are they still treating me?"

Severin looked at her in confusion.

"You mean it wasn't like that before..?" Lily dared to ask after a moment.

The dark haired girl shook her head slightly, causing the redhead to tragically moan.

"Great. That's exactly what I needed."

She threw her head at the table in frustration.

Severin looked at her sympathetically and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Come on, Sev, we will find a way to fix this."

Lily just murmured in response.


A/N: You know that stupid part where you decide that's it, you're done with a stupid story and you're not going to write it anymore and you don't regret that decision? And then you just delete it from all the sites where you posted, without considering that you also delete amazing comments from lovely people, and then you don't calm down and continue to delete the story from the email where the amazing AO3 send it to you after you deleted it and then you have no trace of the story?

Do you know it?
And then more than a year later you suddenly think, oh, why did I do that and search and search all over the internet in case it might have been saved on one of the sites for deleted stories like Wayback Machine?
And then you actually really manage to find your story! But... there are missing chapters?!

Guys, it can't just be me that's happening to her, RIGHT?

So I know it's been a long time and people probably don't remember this story and I've probably lost all my lovely devoted readers, but if anyone still remembers, please help! If you downloaded this story and you have it saved, please tell me! And if it didn't happen, maybe someone can help me recover the missing chapters? I have 7 chapters, I think I'm missing at least 2...