The air was dry and cold. They walked down the dark, deserted streets, the stars completely hidden in overcast. Their laughter was the only thing that could be heard for two blocks.
Lunch had turned into dinner; dinner had turned into a short walk; a short walk turned into a long walk home. The therapy session seemed more like two old friends getting reunited and before long, either could barely remember the professional boundaries they shared.
"It's going to snow soon," she said. "Maybe even tonight. I love the snow."
"Did it use to snow where come from?" he asked.
"Is that a subtle way of asking where I come from?" she asked, her all-knowing grin lit up the street lamp.
"Well, if you want to tell me, about your past…" He cleverly admitted.
She laughed at that. "Yes, it did snow in Richardville, New York. It's one of the few things I do miss about it." There was a silence, their walking slow and casual. They were in Reid's neighborhood, though he wasn't exactly sure how they'd gotten there. "It's a small town. The kind everyone dies famous in. And that's a good thing, if you're the high school quarter back or the homecoming queen…"
"But not for you." Reid had suspected something like this.
"No, not for the only child of the two town drunks." She exhaled deeply, her foggy breath illuminated in the orange glow. "My parents were… the rebel children of John Adams' High School. Most teenagers are rebels. My dad had a bike, my mother had a father she wanted to piss off. She ended up getting pregnant with me and threw her life away. At least that's what she always told me. And that's when she was sober.
"I had heard stories from teachers that… they remembered my parents when they were young. They were happy, always together. All I could remember was the fighting and the screaming. My father would come home every night – always drunk, sometimes high – and he and my mother would just get into it over nothing at all. I was caught in the middle."
"They hit you, too." Reid said. "Didn't they?"
"You're certainly good at your job, aren't you?" She said. "Yes. If I stayed out of the way, I didn't get hit very much. I think the mental abuse was a lot worse. I think that's why I wanted to become a psychiatrist. Not only so I could help people with haunting pasts, but… because I understand what it's like to have one. And to over come it.
"Anyway, I didn't want to screw up my life. I wanted to go to Harvard and become a doctor. Every other girl in that school wanted the same life they'd always known. There's nothing wrong with that, but I wanted so much more. I never wanted to hate my daughter the way my mother hated me. So I played soccer and joined Student Council and sang in the choir, made sure I always made High Honor Roll, graduated first in my class - thank you very much – and went to Harvard. It was hard to get in, but I was lucky. My dad had an old friend from high school who had a brother who went to Harvard. He tried really hard to get my dad clean, but it ruined their friendship. He didn't want my life to be ruined because of my parents' choices, so he helped me all he could. His brother gave me a great recommendation. I took pre-med. But only for two years."
"You dropped out?"
"No, I finished." She said, winking and biting her lip with superiority.
"How old are you anyway?"
"28." She said. "I'll be 29 right after Christmas."
"Wow, you're less than a year older than me. You're not a genius, too, are you?"
"No," she laughed. "Just an over-achiever. A big one."
They were soon laughing again and it took more than a moment to stop. "Anyway, after that, I went to Harvard Medical, racked up thousands in student loans, then started residency at Havensall Hospital for the Criminally Insane. After that, the F.B.I. picked me up, but I still have a couple of patients at Havensall I follow up on."
"You didn't go to the F.B.I. academy?"
"No. Which is why I'm not allowed to carry a gun." She pulled her coat closer to her as the wind blew. Reid's impulses got the better of him and he put his right arm around her to keep her warm.
At first, he thought he should pull away, but he remained wrapped around her. He could barely breathe being so close to her. It was the first time they had touched, really felt each other, and he thought his chest was going to explode.
Riley smiled and put her left around him in return. "How did you know this is what I needed?" she asked, snuggling close to him.
"You said yourself, I'm a good profiler."
"So, I've told you about me. I'm an over-achieving small town gal with a family history of alcoholism trying to make it in Big Bad Quantico. What about you?"
Hesitant, Reid didn't reveal much about his past. But, looking at Riley's big brown eyes, which were glistening up at him expectantly, he felt he should return the favor. Besides, Reid felt he could trust her, really trust.
From the beginning Reid started with his father walking out on him and his mother, delving into his mother's illness and the time they use to share when she read to him. They continued on down the next street as he difficultly explained some of the things he went through in high school.
"That's awful," she exclaimed, recounting his traumatic experience on the football field thanks to Alexa Lisbon and company.
"Yeah," he replied. "I only ever told that to my friend, Derek Morgan, until now."
"I hated the people who tortured other kids in school." She said, and Reid felt his chest get even tighter as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Though I wasn't much better."
"What do you mean?" Reid asked, suspicious.
"I never picked on anyone in school. I didn't have a lot of friends, either. But I never did much to stop the others from doing it. I always felt bad, but everyone knew my parents were abusive drunks, what with all the times I showed up with black eyes and bloody lips and bruises on my arms and legs." Her voice sounded softer like she was trying not to cry. "I just thought… if I got involved, they would turn on me and I didn't think I could handle that." Before he could respond, she retorted with, "Though, I never would have let anyone do what they did to you if I saw it happen, I swear to that."
Riley clutched him tighter, as if afraid he was about to pull away from him. Instead, an impulse took over his body, toeing the inappropriate line. His cheek resting against her, he turned and kissed the top of her forehead.
She didn't say anything to that. They kept walking in silence. Reid fought his instincts, but soon could resist no longer looking at the expression on her face.
Surprisingly, her eyes were closed and she had a small, contented smile. This was beyond wrong. A patient and his doctor were not supposed to fraternize like this. If Hotch or Rossi or anyone of higher authority saw them, they'd both be in trouble.
"Are we heading to your house?" she finally asked, her eyes still closed.
"Somehow we managed to head in that direction." He said. "How did you know that?"
"I'm following you," she replied. "And with my eyes shut, if I was leading the way, you wouldn't know where to go."
"You know, you might make a good profiler yourself."
"No way," Riley replied, her head finally popping up and her brown eyes met his hazel again. "That's definitely not a job for me. I don't think I could deal with that much death and pain and… no, not for me."
Unfortunately, Reid noticed his apartment building just a few feet away. Questions were starting to pop up in his mind. What did it mean when they got to the building? He couldn't just send her into the night by herself. He knew from experience, this wasn't a safe world.
"Well," he said. "That's my building."
Riley looked over and squeezed him again. "It's late anyway, I should be getting home."
"You can't go home in the dark like this."
"Hey, I might not be some big bag F.B.I. agent, Dr. Reid, but I can take of myself." She said with great audacity. She began pulling away from him and Reid knew he had to let go now. "But I had a really nice time with you, Spencer."
"I haven't had as good a time as this in years." He agreed, speaking only of the last five minutes alone with him wrapped in her arms and her in his.
"You don't get out much, do you?" she joked.
The distance between them barely let in a crack of air. Reid could feel her body heat so close to him and he wanted desperately to pull her close, to press her against him.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asked. "Because I can walk you home."
"No," she said. "I'll grab a cab at the corner, the next street over is a pretty busy one if I'm not mistaken. I'll be alright."
"Are you sure? I'll wait with you."
"No," she urged. "I'm a big girl, I write my own prescriptions and everything."
They both laughed quietly and whatever distance was between them before was practically non-existent.
"I'll see you next week, then." She stated, almost in a whisper.
"I look forward to it. I always do."
He was going to do it. He was going to kiss her. It would be quick, it would have to be quick so he didn't loose his nerve, but he would do it. He stared at her lips, so pink and perfect, and suspected she was staring at his. He slowly leaned in closer and readied himself to make his move just as a soft flake brushed his face.
Combing it aside, they both looked up at the sky as the icy white shavings flurried down. Riley smiled as the snow abounded around them, dancing in the gentle wind.
"I told you," she said, giggling. "It's beautiful."
Reid stared at her. She looked like an angel, with the flakes falling into her wavy black hair, partially pulled back by a dark brown barrette, her rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes lit up with a bright smile. "Yeah," he said. "Beautiful."
She continued lost in her winter trance. He could have stayed there and stared at her until he froze to death. Truly, he didn't feel the cold at all.
"Well," she said, catching his gaze again. "I should go."
"Goodnight," His nerve gone.
"Goodnight," she repeated, and leaned forward to kiss him on his cheek.
As she began to walk away, Reid called after her. "Call me when you get home, just so I know you're safe."
"I don't have your phone number." She turned and called back.
"It's behind your barrette." He explained.
Confused, Riley reached and looked astonished and a little scared as she pulled a thin business card out of her hair. After a moment, she smiled again, turned, and continued down the street. Reid watched her until she was around the corner, and then hurried inside to wait for a phone call.
