June Zu 1st grade.
"I want to marry an alien from outer space!"
The other children laugh at me, even the teacher cant help but chuckle at me. Everyone points and jeers at me. I don't know why, everyone else got to say what they wanted to do and not get laughed at.
"But that's what I want to do when I grow up."
A girl smirked.
"Maybe you should get married to a gorilla, you look like one anyways."
The teacher told her to hush, and she looked at me with cruel eyes.
June Zu 2nd grade.
"You're not allowed to play with those children."
Mom sniffed.
"You can make plenty of friends after you graduate college, right now you have one job, get good grades, nothing else matters."
"Yes mother."
I look outside and watch the other children play, I continue with my math assignment.
June Zu 6th grade.
I'm the tallest girl in school, I don't have any friends and the teasing is constant, home... home is oppressive, it's just a lot of extra lessons. I have an old black and white TV I got out of the garbage, portable with bad reception and just three channels. It's saturday morning, I watch TV. Watch Transformers, Optimus Prime is so brave and cool and hot.
I turn it off, mom is going to wake up soon, she's going to have her juice and then she's going to scream at me again. I hide my TV and open up a book and begin to read. She comes in and screams at me. Yells at me, she smells like her juice. Dad eventually gets her to leave, he gives me a look of pity. We both know how she acts after one to many smoothies, but neither of us try to stop her.
I continue studying, I just wish things would stop, that things would freeze, I blank out.
June Zu, 7th grade.
Mom finds my freeze ray and starts hitting me.
"FREAK, FREAK, FREAK!"
She's screaming, yelling and crying, dad manages to pull her off, afterwards I'm forced to join the Wards.
June Zu 8th grade
The wards isn't any better then home, or school, I keep growing, keep getting bigger, taller. Sometimes I eat to much and they make me exercise, the other kids in the Wards advoid me, my parents won't let me patrol and that makes them angry. I make stuff for the Protectorate. I'm lonely.
June Zu 18th birthday 1999, July 4th.
They're not letting me leave the Wards, some kind of poltical issue, mom's screaming at me about college and I just want to get out of here, away from here. I've already graduated high school, I already have enough credits from junior college for an Associates. High school is over, thank god.
December 2000
I stare at the screen with the other wards, my heart beats a little faster, my palms get moist and my mouth dry as I look at the screen, but for a different reason then the others. The Endbringer surrenders. I look at my team and stand up, I'm over six feet tall, some sort of glandular thing that happened when I triggered. The others ignore me, they always ignore me, I think about my life.
Dreams... dreams never really die, you carry them with you. I can continue this life of quiet desperation or I can take a chance. I get home and read some of the romance fiction on some of the websites I go to, look at some, um stuff. I make a decision, and leave.
Feburary 2000.
Mom screams at me, my director yells at me, I don't care. I tell them that I will either get the transfer or I will leave the Protectorate. I have decided to cast off my chains and embrace an uncertain future. All of my life, all I've ever wanted was love and I will get it.
May 13th 2000
My chest heaves, my heart beats like a jackhammer and I sweat, he's so close and I can't speak. His coat gently flows in the wind and he has the inherent majesty of a prince, I feel weak in the knees, and my glasses fog up.
June 3rd 2000
I stay over at his place, I watch TV and fall asleep in his arms, I feel happy and content. The guards say nothing. He wakes up and takes off his great coat to get a clean one, I study his metallic muscles and my heart races.
July 4th 2000
I have moved in bit by bit, I'm now 19 years old and for the first time in my life I'm happy. People insult me online, the team treats me coldly but I'm with the man I love, and as far as I'm concerned we are a country of two people. My metallic prince is a kind, sweet and yet somewhat sad man. I know I can heal his wounded heart. I spend my day cuddling in the park. A few people watch, a few snap pictures. I don't care, my love is a defiant one.
July 13th 2000
Mother takes me aside and reaches up and slaps me.
"What are you thinking, do you realize what-"
"Fuck off."
My voice is cold and she blinks.
"What did you say?"
"I said fuck off, I'm not a child anymore, I have my own money, Woody is going to be a part of my life whether you like it or not."
"You fucking wh-"
Dad stops the next slap.
"I'm not dealing with this..."
He looks angry and upset, he sighs.
"Honey leave."
"She's de-"
"LEAVE!"
Dad very rarely raises his voice, mom takes a drink and leaves. We're alone in the hallway.
"So, what's he like?"
"Wonderful."
He sighs.
"I heard girls liked bad boys I thought you were different and then you go for the baddest boy of them all."
He chuckled.
"I'm not going back to San Francisco, I'm not changing course, disown me if you want, I-"
He shook his head.
"Nah, our family has a history of this sort of thing, your grandmother was irish, good woman you probably get your figure from her. Her family disowned her for marrying your grandfather, and same with your grandpa. Me, well my folks didn't really approve of your mother, chinese and japanese, yeah bad blood there. Married her while I was in the service too."
He looked up at me and motioned for me to take a seat on a bench.
"I remember that time you said you were going to marry an alien in school."
"Yeah."
He sighed.
"Is he a good guy."
"Yes."
He looked through the window at him.
"Whatever happens Junebug, I love you."
July 30th 2000
Woody helps me move in the last of the furniture. My plan is complete, I sit on our bed questions burning in my mind.
"So have you ever heard of a kiss."
Tonights the night I plan on becoming a woman.
"Yes."
I miss some of it, my heart beating, my loins throbbing, I steel myself, get ready to give myself.
"So how do."
I'm rambling asking questions about the future...could we have children? I beat around the bush and get my reply. My heart beats faster, I continue rambling.
"I'm quite a bit bigger then human men."
I feel faint, I can't bring up the words I desperetly want to say, I can't say I love you.
September 20th 2000
My man's coat is tattered, but it looks good on him, he has returned from battle.
"I missed you."
My heart leaps, the heaviness lifts he sits down.
"I...I don't know how long I have. For so long I thought I had forever and now I may...you need someone who can be there so..."
"I want you."
There is silence.
"Um, I'm unfamiliar with human courtship rituals and-"
I kiss him, his screen is warm and comforting, his arms wrap around mine, I regret nothing.
September 21st
I regret nothing.
