"Emilia is never going to love me, isn't she?"
Subaru words came out of his mouth as he was laying down in his bed with his precious Beako and was just…thinking of a memory. He could remember as if it was yesterday. Subaru smiled at the memory. It was one of the few memories that he has that he feels a bit prideful about, even now. He managed to come up with a plan to put a stop to Elsa, Melii, Roswaal and the Great Rabbit, and did it without dying. He won that gambit he had made with the clown, putting a stop to his plans, again without dying. But after all of that, he managed to have a heart to heart conversation with Emilia about his feelings for her.
When Emilia told him that she didn't know what love felt yet and that she didn't really know what she felt towards him, he did tell her that he would wait for her to sort her feelings for him out. He expected it would have taken a month or even three months at most for her to figure out her feelings. But it's been more than just mere months since he has confessed to her. It has been years, seven years to be exact. That is when his smile turned back into a frown.
Seven years he has been waiting for some kind of answer. A whole seven years of his life that he could've used for something else. But he spent it all on a woman who couldn't give him a simple yes or no answer. How many times has he made himself look like a fool for her? How many times has he suffered for her? No, he probably would've still gone through all of that anyway, even if he didn't love her. It was just in his nature after all. He had done the same for so many other people and he wasn't head over heels in love with them.
Subaru did remember Emilia confessing to him in one of the loops back at the Pleiades Watchtower. But she never confessed to him again afterwards, so maybe her feelings changed. Knowing himself, he ended up doing something wrong that screwed up things with her.
She could have just said no. All it would have taken was one word. He would have finally gotten it through his thick skull. Sure, it would hurt and take a bit of time for him to recover from that rejection, but it wouldn't have been the end of the world. He just wished that he could finally get it over with and get her answer. Subaru would go over to Emilia's study room and confess to her again so he can see what her actual answer would be, but he decided not to since he thought it was pointless. So why even bother? The fact she kept him waiting for this long is pretty much an answer. Subaru spent all these years just denying it because he couldn't face what was the truth in the back of his already messed up mind.
She never loved him, did she?. If she did, she would've already spoken up and said something about it. She can't even use the excuse that she doesn't know what love is or that she hasn't sorted out her feelings for him yet, not anymore. This whole time, he couldn't figure out why she hasn't bothered talking to him about it, but now the answer is clear.
He knew that Emilia cared about him. There was definitely no denying that, not even a tiny bit. She was his first friend in this fantasy world, the first person who was kind to him. Throughout all these years, she has helped him when he needed it and there were moments where he would have crumbled if not for her. But now, he knew that was just because he was her best friend, not because she was in love with him. Coming to terms with the truth had hurt. He didn't feel like he was going to collapse from it or something over dramatic like that. But he did feel like he was used.
This isn't even the first time he had thought of this. He's had this thought process many times over the years, but he always shoved that thought back down deep into his psyche. He didn't want to entertain these thoughts because he still had some small hope that she would walk up to him and finally say the words he has been waiting to hear for the longest time. He began to lose hope overtime and that led to these thoughts becoming more frequent and much harder to push down into the pit and here he is now, finally coming to terms with this.
"Yeah…stressing myself out this late at night is definitely good for my health." Subaru said as he rubbed his forehead. Beatrice was right beside him in bed, hugging him as she slept. He carefully moved his hands back to where they were so he wouldn't wake her up and tried to relax so he could go to sleep. But for some reason, he just couldn't sleep and it wasn't for the lack of trying, he was definitely trying. Maybe he isn't as tired as he felt. Well, he found it funny because he didn't do anything physically draining since today was actually his day off.
He hadn't really done much today so he was taking it easy. All he did was just talk to the mansion's residents or one of his hobbies. Heck, he even sat in his room and just read books while talking to Beatrice, but that didn't stop his mind from going to places he didn't want it to. Such as when he was reading a book about different places in the world and as soon as he got to Vollachia, he started thinking about memories he so desperately wanted to hearing the word Vollachia sent chills down his spine.
The things he's seen in Vollachia, the horror and tragedy he experienced there was nothing short of traumatic and just overall agonizing. Ranging from forest fires and a crazed axe wielding maniac to an elderly shinobi turning him into a kid and putting him through a massive deathloop, to the destruction of Chaosflame, something he still felt guilt for to this day) and that deathmatch he had with Todd. While Subaru didn't really enjoy killing people, Todd was an exception.
Todd, to Subaru, was a monster, a completely inhumane creature and he knew Roswaal. Roswaal is a man who has done extremely awful things numerous times, but at least he actually felt guilt for his misdeeds and didn't go around, murdering everyone just for the sake of it or for some kind of sadistic pleasure. Todd on the other hand didn't feel such things. In fact, Todd even went as far as to enjoy all of the suffering he caused. Now that he thought about it, he definitely preferred the clown.
He remembered how Todd had set that forest on fire, knowing full well that the Shurdraks were in there, essentially burning them alive. That was his whole reason for burning that forest down. Not only that, but the amount of horrible things he had put Subaru through personally and that of course includes all the times he had killed him. He was willing to butcher numerous people either because he wanted to or because they simply were in his way. Not to mention even more of the other atrocities he committed.
Subaru would never forget that final fight he had with the crazed axe wielding man. He would never forget how his knuckles felt as they made contact with the man's skull. He would never forget the near euphoric feeling he had when he took Todd's axe and split his head open with it, repaying him for everything he had done. When Subaru saw Todd's split cranium and his mutilated brain, he felt something that he never thought he would feel, unbridled joy at seeing Todd's limp corpse. He felt happiness at the sight of this horrible man feeling death's painful embrace. This feeling wasn't for some random person, but towards the man whose head he had just split with his own axe and solely towards him. He wanted to do more to the man, wished he could have done more to cause him nothing but pain and misery to repay back all the pain and suffering.
He had kept chopping Todd's already mangled head with sadistic glee and even smiled as he watched the life leave the other man's eyes.. With every memory he looked back on, the harder he was chopping the man's head-or what was left of it and the more he enjoyed it. He hated how much he enjoyed it. The thought of him enjoying killing made his stomach churn.
As ironic as it seems, he was actually very comfortable with the weapon despite it being used on him multiple times so he decided to keep it for himself. He did think the axe was cool somewhat and in a way, him keeping the axe was kinda a big 'fuck you' to Todd. That thought just made him want to keep the axe even more. Since he was keeping it, he thought that he could at least learn how to use it better, so he asked Clind if he could teach him. The butler did agree to his request, but suggested the idea of training using the axe and Guilty Whip in tandem with each other. Of course, Subaru said yes to this, the idea seeming appealing to him.
Vollachia had changed him in more ways than one. While Subaru still didn't like to kill, he was completely willing to do it if it was necessary. The Subaru before Vollachia would have found killing to be revolting, but now? He found killing to be a necessity depending on the type of situation he found himself or his camp to be in. He had to learn the hard way that not everyone deserves to live. He was still willing to let his enemies surrender, but if they wanted to continue fighting or hurting other people…well, his body count spoke for itself.
When he got back from Vollachia, he began to overwork himself doing whatever to keep himself from thinking too hard about the memories of that place, which proved to be difficult but effective. Everyone began to notice that he was running himself ragged and tried to talk to him about it. Subaru was stubborn throughout the whole thing. He just kept claiming that he didn't need a break and could keep working, and hoped that would get them to leave him alone. But they just kept bugging him about it until he eventually conceded to them and agreed to take a break from anything strenuous.
The reason they were being lenient like this towards him wasn't just because he was someone they cared about. It was because while they didn't know the extent of what he had gone through in Vollachia, they knew it was a lot especially since he was a major player in ending the Vollachian civil war that had been going on over there. Even Ram stopped with her insults for a bit just to not give him much of a hard time after hearing about the things he had gone through and had to do, all to Subaru's surprise. Rem had gone easy on him as well, especially since she was there with him as he went through his journey in the warrior country.
Whenever he starts to overwork himself, he's required to take a day off, not by his choice mind you. At first, the residents of the mansion had to hound him to get him to take the day off, but he eventually started to do it on his own. Subaru tried to find another way around that by working out and training, but they caught him and had to remind not to do anything too strenuous during his days off which included training or exercising much to his disappointment. So that unfortunately left him with his worst enemy: his thoughts.
Sometimes, he can come up with and think of some meaningful topics relating to himself or to those close to him. But most of the time it's either self-degradation or just reliving his trauma so they're mostly his worst enemy. That's why he would overwork himself or just do anything else really, to get his mind away from that kind of thinking. Subaru had managed to get most of his workaholic tendencies under control. Whenever he felt like he was overworking himself, he would go take a day off to rest. Well, they would rarely get onto him about it, but he did it on his own for the most part.
Subaru had kept trying to go to sleep while going through the thoughts that were bouncing around his head. For some reason, he still couldn't go to sleep. No matter how many times he changed his position and no matter how long he closed his eyes, he still wouldn't go to sleep. He opened his eyes and came to a decision on what to do. He carefully peeled Beatrice's hands off of his body, slowly untangling her arms from his torso. He then sat up, slowly moved his legs to the side edge of the bed so he could get up, and stood up. Once up, he walked over to the door and opened it with a slight creak.
"Where do you think you're going, I suppose?" A voice called out from behind Subaru. He turned his head around to look at the source of the voice. What he saw was Beatrice looking groggily looking back at him while still lying down in bed, rubbing her eyes with her tiny hands.
"I'm just gonna take a walk so don't worry Beako or you'll ruin that cute face of yours." Subaru cheekily said while grinning at the spirit. Beatrice responded by blushing and pouting.
"Of course I have to worry! Betty's Subaru always somehow gets into trouble in fact!" Beatrice embarrassedly exclaimed.
"Oh come on Beako. I'll be careful. I promise and if it makes you feel any better…" Subaru said as he began walking towards where his axe lied and he grabbed it, picking it up and hoisting it on his shoulder. "I'll take the axe with me, just in case."
Before Beatrice could protest, Subaru walked through the door and out to the dark hallway. Subaru had a bit of an eerie feeling as he walked down the dark corridor as he does have some horrible memories involving hallways and a morningstar, and while he did trust everyone in the mansion, he couldn't help but be on guard and look behind him to make sure no one was sneaking up on him. One of the many byproducts from his time in Vollachia, always keep your guard up no matter where you are.
He walked through the hallways that he had seen countless times throughout the many years he had lived here. He remembered the times he got lost trying to figure out his way through the mansion, times that seem like a lifetime ago now. Now, he just knows this mansion as if it was the back of his hands in and out. He didn't know where he wanted to go, just that he wanted to walk around and stretch his legs a bit until he eventually got tired enough to go to sleep, so just wherever his legs took him.
Subaru walked through the hallways, with his breathing and his footsteps currently being the sounds echoing throughout. He was just mindlessly walking, not even thinking too much while doing so. He continued walking through the dark corridors of the mansion until he entered a certain room. It was a room that he was all too familiar with: the kitchen. It was in this room that Petra told him about wanting to quit.
Petra was in the kitchen telling him that she wanted to quit being a maid, finally open up that shop like she always wanted and become a seamstress as she finally had enough money to do it. But she seemed very conflicted about it, which Subaru brought up. She then explained that while she does want to do that, she also doesn't want to leave him and everyone else here but she seemed to be a bit emotional when she said she didn't want to leave him for some reason. But it was clear that day that she was having trouble coming to a decision.
"You know, just because you're leaving doesn't mean this is goodbye or anything like that. You can always see us again. But this is something you have been wanting to do for years. This is YOUR dream and you should go for it. Don't let us hold you back from doing this. It would just make us feel guilty about it. I know I would."
Subaru felt happy about being able to give her the courage to chase that dream. Suffice to say, that finally got her to make up her mind as she went to Roswaal later that day to hand over her resignation. Not only that, but she packed her bags that night and the next day was filled with tearful and heartfelt goodbyes. She hugged Frederica while giving her a smile that looked like it was faltering. Then, she walked over to Subaru and gave him a hug as well while also giving him the same smile.
At that moment, Subaru had no idea of how things would go from there. But he did know one thing, and that was he's going to miss her. Things weren't the same without Petra there and it took a while for everyone to get used to her not being there, but they all eventually got used to it and accepted it. But it definitely didn't stop anyone from missing her.
That happened two years after he got back from Vollachia. Subaru was happy for her since she was finally following her dreams, but he did miss her. They do sometimes receive mail from her which were specifically sent to Subaru and Frederica, but none of the letters contain Petra's whereabouts. All they do know is that she is fine and that she finally got her shop up and running.
"Heh, I really do still miss her. I wonder what she's up to now." Subaru wondered aloud, his stomach letting out a loud groan suddenly.
"Guess I'm hungry. Well, since I'm in the kitchen I might as well fix myself something to snack on. Now, what to eat? Oh, I think I know just the thing." Subaru said as he walked towards the cabinets and opened them. He was looking at everything that was currently in the cabinet, until he found what he was looking for.
'Bingo!' Subaru reached in and grabbed the objects of his excitement. The objects in question were the container they kept the bread in and the peanut butter jar. After grabbing the container and the jar, he had set them down on the counter. He then grabbed a piece of cloth and laid that on the counter, next to the jar and the bread container. Subaru then went to the drawer where the mansion's silverware was kept and grabbed a clean butter knife.
Once he had gotten all that he needed, he grabbed two pieces of bread from the container and laid them onto the cloth so he wouldn't get the counter littered with bread crumbs. He then grabbed the butter knife, dipped it into the peanut butter jar to grab a good amount of it. He used the knife to put the amount of peanut butter he had gotten out of the jar onto the bread. With the knife, he had spread and smoothed out the peanut butter around the bread. Once he was done, he gently put the knife into the sink to be washed later and stuck the two pieces of bread together, making a peanut butter sandwich.
Subaru was eating his sandwich on the way back to his bedroom, eagerly wolfing down the sandwich in large bites but not too large because he didn't want to choke to death. That is one of the many ways he hasn't died yet and he definitely didn't want to do it now, or ever for that matter. But he's probably unlucky enough to die from that one day. He was unlucky to begin with. The thought made Subaru chuckle a bit, but it didn't sound cheerful, it just sounded grim and self deprecating.
He couldn't help but wonder where he had gone wrong with Emilia. He thought he was actually getting somewhere with her after everything that had happened back at Priestella, after the Watchtower, and after Vollachia. But here he is years later, as if his progress of getting into a romantic relationship with Emilia went down the drain.
He felt that somehow this was his fault. He had no idea how, but he knew that he screwed up somewhere and that he was to blame. The two questions that were on his mind were how and when. How did he ruin his chances? When did he ruin it? These were the two questions he was racking his mind with currently and the two questions that are plaguing him.
Ever since he began to think about this when he was still in his room, he just felt frustrated and sad. Frustrated because he spent years waiting on a woman that was never going to return his affections and sad because he was never going to be with the woman that he loved. He felt so hopeless and helpless when it came to his failure of a love life. The woman he spent years chasing after can't even give him a yes or no answer, the very same woman he suffered and sacrificed for time and time again. The other woman he used to love ended up having her memories and name eaten, which had put her in a coma. Then, when she finally did wake up, she ended up hating him.
Subaru and Rem did end up patching things up between them late in the Vollachian Rebellion, but she had no interest in pursuing a relationship with him like she once did. It's not like he didn't try, but she refused to start it back up. He knew she had her reasons for why, but it didn't hurt any less.
All Subaru could do was just sigh as he didn't have the energy to really fuss or get depressed about this confusing love life of his as he was currently unbearably tired. What he wanted to do currently was just get back to his room and hopefully get some good night sleep alongside his adorable Beako. Was that all too much to ask?
He was near his door as he finally stuffed the last piece of his sandwich into his mouth, sending it down through his throat and to his stomach with an audible gulp. Subaru groggily opened his bedroom door and walked right in, softly closing the door behind him with a click. He slowly tip-toed his way to his bed where his spirit was still sleeping, the wooden floor creaking a bit as he made his steps towards the bed. He got onto his comfortable bed and proceeded to try to lay down as carefully as he could to avoid waking Beatrice up.
When Subaru's head had touched down on his pillow, he turned his head to look at Beatrice to make sure she was still asleep. Beatrice was laying down on her back and snoring, clearly asleep. Subaru breathed a sigh of relief at managing to not wake up his contracted spirit. Subaru wrapped the blanket that he and Beatrice were sharing around his body. He then turned over to his side and closed his eyes, beginning his drift to the realm of dreams.
Unknown to Subaru however, the spirit's eyes slowly fluttered open a bit after he had fallen into slumber. The first thing she saw when she turned over was her contractor's back. To anyone else, this would look normal and ok. Due to her contract with him, she could feel his emotions and what she was feeling from him right now was anything but positive.
"Was it another nightmare?" Beatrice said as she looked at the boy in question, trying to figure out what was wrong with her contractor. What could have happened to render him like this? Was it the nightmares again? He did frequently have those as she had to comfort him numerous times over the years after he would wake up either screaming or crying or both and she would then have to hold him as he fell back to sleep as a way of comforting him. But it couldn't be since the emotions she was feeling from him through their link was sadness and frustration, unless he is dreaming about something that caused him to feel this way.
"Nothing else I can do besides comforting him in fact." Beatrice said as he wrapped her arms around Subaru's torso from his back, hoping this would comfort him like it usually does whenever he is having a nightmare. Fortunately for Beatrice, holding Subaru seemed to have calmed him down from whatever was ailing him as he had stopped feeling those negative emotions only a bit. But Beatrice only knew it was a temporary fix.
Beatrice kept trying to come up with the possible reason for why her contractor was acting like this. Her mind came up with three possible reasons. Was it that blue haired maid that he used to be infatuated with? It could be possible. She did reject him when he tried to start up a relationship with her soon after he got back from Vollachia alongside her and one of the three former Sin Archbishops of Gluttony. They seemed to still be on good terms with each other however.
But the more she thought about it, the more unlikely it seemed. First off, Subaru seems normal or as normal(or as normal as he can get) whenever he is seen with her. He doesn't get sad whenever he's near her. There is also the fact that he seems content with being just friends, but she does know that he sometimes feels guilt. She does doubt this has anything to do with that however.
Maybe it was because he felt lonely? No, that couldn't be it either. He has plenty of people around here, friends that he can talk to and in his own words "hang out with.". Not only them, but he has her too. He would have talked to her if he wanted to, so that surely couldn't be the case.
Maybe it was something to do with Emilia? That is definitely possible if anything Beatrice had heard Subaru mutter to himself about was of any indication. That half-elf infuriated the spirit to no end.
It had been years since Subaru had confessed to the half elf. He had shown off his love for her more times than the spirit can count which, despite her appearance, is very high mind you. She's had plenty of time to learn what love is. She's had plenty of time to figure out her feelings for him and confess if she had any or just to say no.
Beatrice wouldn't have any negative feelings towards Emilia if she does reject Subaru. Why would she? It was her choice, but what angers her is how the half elf is stringing her contractor along and has been doing this for years and somehow doesn't see how this is hurting him.
'Now that I figured out the possible cause, what can I do to help him? There has to be something I suppose.' Beatrice thought to herself, trying to find a way to aid her contractor. As if a light bulb had lit up inside her head, Beatrice had finally found her idea as she racked her-whatever spirits use as a brain.
'He could go on a trip! Guese did always like taking trips and he said it did help ease the mind whenever he had troubles. Subaru could use a little time away from the mansion I suppose. All he does is stay here or only goes somewhere with that half-elf whenever it involves any official business. Him getting away from here would do him some good. But he better take me with him in fact!' That was Beatrice's last thought as she drifted asleep while still holding Subaru while feeling excited about her possible future trip with her contractor, all with a smile on her face as she slept. He better let her go with him. There was simply no other answer that she would accept. Someone has to keep him out of trouble and that someone would definitely be her.
Subaru woke to the sun shining in his eyes. He sat up as he began to rub his eyes, ready to start the day as he yawned and as his blanket fell from his shoulders. Surprisingly, he actually felt somewhat good which was a relief to him. As he woke up, he noticed the lack of weight next to him, meaning that his Beako may have gotten a head start. He turned towards his window to see what part of the day it currently is.
"It looks like it's still morning. Well, time to get up and get some breakfast, and then begin the day." Subaru said as he got up from his bed. He got dressed, wearing his classic trademark tracksuit which somehow still fits him. He went to his mirror and began to fix his swept back black spikey hair, which had gotten slightly messed up due to bedhead.
As he was still looking at his reflection in the mirror, he began to check his teeth which then led to him brushing it. Personal hygiene was still important, even in another world it seems, so imagine his surprise when he found out this world actually had toothbrushes and toothpaste when he first arrived. Guess he had to thank Hoshin if he ever meets the guy. Once he was done with that, he wiped his face with the towel on his desk and then looked himself over in the same mirror.
"Okay, I think I look good enough for right now. Now, time to begin the day once again." Subaru said as he opened his bedroom door and walked out into the hallway that he was roaming through the night prior, now lit up with sunlight from the windows instead of the darkness of night.
'Wonder if anyone else is up though besides Beako. Knowing Frederica and her work ethic, she's definitely up. But who else? Probably Garf too now that I think of it. Dude has always been an early bird. Ram is probably still asleep. Ros-chi is probably up too. You can say whatever you want about Roswaal, but he does sleep and wakes up at good times. Otto is definitely sleeping in. Melii is probably up, so is Rem and Louis. Those three always wake up this early. Emilia-tan too.' Subaru wondered as he was making his way towards the dining room, trying to figure out who he should expect to see up and about. But his happy mood soured slightly when he thought about Emilia, but that sourness didn't last long as the doorway that led to the room he sought after was now in his sight.
He had made it to the dining room. He walked in and was welcomed by the same sight as always. A long wooden table with enough space and chairs for the entire camp while covered by a large table cloth. Alongside the table, setting it up was no other than the blonde-haired beastmaid that he had expected to see.
"Yo, Frederica! Good morning." Subaru said as he waved his hand back and forth as he was smiling at the maid, who then looked at him and gave him a smile.
"Oh, good morning Subaru-sama." Frederica said, giving a smile and a bow to the raven-haired man. "But you do not need to shout. People are still sleeping."
"Oops, sorry. I'm just hungry." Subaru sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.
"Oh! I already have some food prepared. Please sit down and you'll have your food shortly." Frederica said while gesturing towards one of the chairs at the table.
"Will do Frederica. Thanks." Subaru thanked her as she walked off towards the kitchen to get the food. He eagerly sat down in the chair, his stomach slightly growling in anticipated hunger. As he was sitting at the table, someone else walked up to it.
"Oi! Captain!" A familiar voice shouted from behind him. Subaru turned around to look at the newcomer, who is also one of the people that he had expected to see. It was Garfiel, Frederica's little brother and one of his best friends. Subaru noticed that Garfiel looked a bit sweaty, probably a sign of him training.
"Hey Garf. Did you get some morning training in?" Subaru said while looking at him with a grin.
"Yep! I jus train when I can! Got ta get stronger somehow! Am I right?!" Garfiel said loudly while holding up his arm and putting his other hand on his bicep, squeezing it. Soon after he said that, Frederica poked her head through the doorway of the kitchen and shushed him.
"Sorry sis." Garfiel said as Frederica's head went back through the kitchen doorway. After that, Garfiel just quietly sat down in the chair next to Subaru.
"So Cap'n, why did I see yer spirit heading to the princess's room dis morning?" Garfiel said, trying to start up a conversation with his captain.
"I don't know. I knew Beatrice got up before me, but I didn't know she was going to Emilia-tan's room." Subaru said while putting a finger on his chin, trying to figure out why his Beako would go to Emilia's room without him even knowing. He wouldn't have to think of it for much longer because two people had just entered the dining room, Emilia and Beatrice
"Good morning everyone." Emilia said while getting into her chair at the end of the table. Beatrice left Emilia's side and sat in the chair on Subaru's other side. Everyone, including Subaru, responded to Emilia by replying with good morning as well. Subaru noticed that for some reason, Emilia and Beatrice kept looking at him and he couldn't figure out why.
Soon after Emilia and Beatrice had sat down at the table, Rem, Louis and Melii had come into the diner room. As usual, Melii and Louis were happy to see him and Rem waved at him with a smile on her face. Subaru waved back at her as she disappeared through the door leading to the kitchen. Of course, Roswaal had come down to eat as well and so did Annerose. Few minutes after that, Frederica and Rem came in with plates of food and started handing them out to everyone. Rem handed him his plate and then walked to an empty seat somewhere around the table.
With Emilia's permission, everyone began to dig into their food. Subaru was glad to finally have something to stuff his growling gut with while also having some good drink to go along with the good food. But as he was eating, he noticed that Emilia and Beatrice were still staring at him.
"Uh, Emilia-tan? Can I ask you and Beako something?" Subaru asked, trying to see if he could figure out the reason behind their behavior.
"Sure Subaru. What is it that you want to ask?" Emilia said, and it looked like Beatrice was eager to see what his question was as well.
"Why have you two been staring at me this entire time? Is there something that you two want to tell me?" Subaru asked. Emilia and Beatrice looked at each other for a few seconds, but then looked back at him.
"Actually, yes. Subaru, you have always been working hard ever since you have become my knight, and you have done so much for us. Even before you became my knight, you were like this and I reaallly appreciate that. But Beako had brought something to my attention." Emilia said, in the middle of answering Subaru's question. On the inside, Subaru was panicking. The reason why he was panicking was because of thoughts that surfaced in his mind, and they surfaced because of what Emilia is saying and how she is saying it. Of course, everyone else in the dining room was paying attention to what their camp leader was saying.
'Wait, this is usually like what a boss says before they…Wait! Is she firing me?! And Beako had a hand in this?!' Subaru's panicked thoughts rang out in his head while hoping that this isn't true. 'But that wouldn't happen, right? And Beako wouldn't do something like this…'
"And that is why…"
'Here it comes.' Subaru thought to himself as he clenched his eyes shut. He had calmed down a bit by reassuring himself that it wasn't going to happen, but he didn't ignore the possibility so he was still panicking.
"You are going on a trip! And you'll be gone for a month." Emilia happily proclaimed.
Everyone had stopped eating and was looking back and forth between Emilia and Subaru. The room was completely silent. There wasn't a sound until Subaru said one word.
"What?"
That was the only response Emilia got from Subaru. A trip? What kind of trip? And why would she be sending him away on a trip? And it's for a month? These were the various questions bouncing around in his head.
"I said you were going on a trip. Weren't you listening, Subaru?" Emilia said, looking slightly confused while still keeping up her smile.
"Y-yeah. Don't worry Emilia-tan, I was listening. It's just…I don't understand why." Subaru said, relieved that he wasn't going to get fired but he was still questioning this whole trip thing. He was confused because he didn't know what brought this on, or what Beako had told Emilia. He just hoped it wasn't anything bad or his previous self harming tendencies. Beatrice was looking at Subaru. She was trying to figure out why he seemed so nervous. But knowing her contractor, it was probably something dumb.
"Why? That's because Beako came to me and told me that you were being troubled by something. She gave me the idea of having you go on a trip for a little while so you can have some time to yourself and feel better. Guese had always told me that going to places helped him feel better if something was bothering him." Emilia said, mentioning her late uncle Guese. Talking about Guese still made Subaru still feel a bit awkward since he was Emilia's late uncle and the former Sin Archbishop of Sloth, the very same Archbishop he had killed. "And the place you'll be going to is the Capital."
"The Capital? But why there?" Subaru questioned, still taking bites of his breakfast while he was waiting for Emilia's answer.
"It's because out of everywhere else in Lugunica, it is the place you are most familiar with. Well, besides this mansion I suppose." This time, Beatrice had answered his question instead of Emilia.
"I guess I can't argue with that. But that has nothing to do with it being a great place to visit." Subaru said, who turned his attention to the spirit.
"Yes, but it does help. You are also forgetting the numerous hotels, restaurants, spas, and many other things that could help you relieve your stress I suppose." Beatrice said, trying to get the point across her contractor.
"There are also the bars as well. Can't forget about the bars, Natsuki-san." Otto said while crossing his arms and nodding as if he's some kind of intellectual. Everyone looked at him, dumbfounded at what he had just said.
"Brotto, didn't ya cut back on da drinkin?" Garfiel said, looking at the man he also called a brother alongside his Captain with one eyebrow raised.
"Yes, Garf. But that doesn't mean I have stopped completely. I still do enjoy alcohol. But as I was saying Natsuki-san, some of the bars in the capital are nice. I highly recommend the…" Otto was saying until Subaru interrupted him.
"Sorry Otto, but I'm not turning into an alcoholic like you." Subaru said while shaking his head before stopping. "Or like how you used to be."
Otto looked at Subaru while picking up his fork and taking a bite. He then grabbed his cup and said, "That's acceptable." and proceeded to take a sip of whatever is in his cup before putting it back down. Everyone was still looking at the merchant until Frederica had gotten everyone's attention by coughing into her hand. Now that she had the attention of everyone in the room, she began to speak.
"Now that I have everyone's attention, there is also a festival at the end of the month that will also be held in the capital. This festival is to celebrate the three heroes who sealed away the Witch of Envy." Frederica said to the rest of the Emilia Camp.
Subaru had flinched slightly after Frederica had said the bit about The Witch of Envy, but he didn't flinch enough to make it noticeable. It felt kinda awkward since Satella was the one who not only brought him to this world, but also gave him Return By Death. She was also someone who he had promised to save, no matter what so the possibility of going to some kind of festival that is celebrating her sealing just felt a bit weird for him.
"From what I've heard about the festival, there will be plenty of games and attractions to distract yourself with should you attend it, Subaru-sama." Frederica said as she then turned towards Subaru as she finished saying what she said.
Games and attractions? That sounded like plenty of fun to Subaru. He remembered how much fun he had when he went to such events with his parents back on Earth when he was a kid. Thinking about his parents did make him feel a bit somber since he still misses them.
"All of that sounds fun, but what if something happens here while I'm gone? What if the Witch Cult attacks again? You need me here. I am your knight after all, Emilia-tan." Subaru said, his voice full of concern. What if the one time he had decided to take a bit of time off, the mansion ended up getting attacked and everyone ended up dying again?
Subaru wouldn't be there to stop it. He wouldn't be able to stop it since he doubts Return By Death would be of any use. It would exactly be like what happened last time…with Rem and Crusch. They were attacked by two sin archbishops, and he wasn't there to stop nor was he able to go back and stop it. That was one of the many, many things that haunted him and one of the things he hasn't forgiven himself for. He didn't want the same thing to happen twice.
Emilia looked at Subaru and frowned. Why did she do that? Maybe he disappointed her in some way that he didn't know about. He probably did. But before he wondered more about why she was frowning, she began to speak once again.
"Subaru…do you trust any of us here?" Emilia asked Subaru, her face looking serious. Subaru was puzzled by her question, but of course he knows the answer to that question.
"Yeah, of course I trust everyone here. Why even ask a question like that?" Subaru asked Emilia, still puzzled by her question. Of course he trusted them. They're his friends, all of them. Maybe once, some of them were his enemies, but that was years ago. He completely trusts every single one now. Well, with Roswaal it was slightly less, but he was at least mostly trustworthy. The make-up wearing mage hadn't tried doing anything sinister ever since that showdown all those years ago.
"If I may be so blunt Subaru-sama, but it does seem like you don't think any of us can handle anything here without you being here." Frederica told him, a tiny frown etched onto her face.
It wasn't that he didn't trust them to handle anything by themselves. He just wanted to be here to help in case something did happen. Didn't he already learn that he needs to rely on others for help? At least he had the power to fix things, but only if he was at that certain event. There was also the fact that he did not see the point of him getting out of the mansion. Sure, he could have fun, but he would rather just stay here since everything he could ever want was here.
"Is dat true Cap'n? Don't ya trust us?" Garfiel asked his Captain, looking a bit offended.
"Of course I trust you, Garf. I trust everyone here. It's just that I don't want to come back, only to find everything destroyed and everyone…" Subaru didn't say anything further as he thought everyone got what he meant. Everyone seemed to get the message as well since they were quiet for a few seconds.
"Besides, I don't really see the point of going. Don't get me wrong. It all sounds fun, but I have everything I need here." Subaru said while waving his hand around the room they were in. But it was evident by the looks on their faces that this didn't make the Emilia Camp feel better at all.
"Natsuki-san, ever since you have become Emila-sama's knight you have never taken any time off. Or at the very least, to my knowledge." Otto said from where he was sitting at the table.
"Now that I think about it…yeah. I never did. I never thought I needed to." Subaru responded to the gray haired merchant, taking bites of the food off of his plate soon after speaking.
"Exactly! And you definitely need to. Look at yourself. You are clearly stressed and need some time away from here. The Capital is the perfect place for you to take some time off at." Otto said with a serious expression on his face.
Subaru was hesitant. He knew they were right and he knew he should believe in them. But he was still conflicted. He looked around the dining room, looked at the faces of his fellow camp members and all of them seemed to have agreed with the merchant.
"Subaru-kun." Subaru turned toward the direction of the voice that he heard say his name and his eyes landed on Rem, who was sitting beside Louis at the table.
"Everything here will be alright while you are gone, okay? If by some chance an attack from the cult happens, we'll be able to fight back." Rem said with a small smile on her face.
"And I see you have forgotten my skills as a combatant too. As expected from you, Barusu." Ram spoken up from her spot.
"I know, I know. I just-" Subaru was saying before he got interrupted.
"Me too Cap'n! I spar'd with ya a lot! Ya know dat I can kick thr' asses! " Garfiel said as he got up while pumping his fist in the air and grinned, showing off his sharp teeth. But that grin was short lived as Frederica smacked him upside his head.
"Garfiel Tinsel! Language!" Frederica loudly said in a stern voice, frowning as she did so. Garfiel rubbed that spot on his head as he sat back down in his chair, grumbling "But I'm a gro'n man now…" but Frederica ignored it as she turned towards Subaru.
"I can also fight as well, Subaru-sama. Remember that I was trained in the ways of combat just like Rem-san and Ram-san?" Frederica said while still giving Subaru her signature polite smile.
"I can just get a bunch of mabeasts to patrol around the mansion. So that way, we'll know that they're coming ahead of time, onii-san." Melii said, almost all of the food was gone on her plate.
"I can fight too, Papa. You know Mama has been training me in using a morningstar for a while now." Louis replied, looking at Subaru with eyes full of enthusiasm.
"Don't forget about me Suuuuubaru-kun. I am here after all and you already know that I can deeeefinitely hold my own in a battle." Roswaal said from the other end of the table where he sat.
"I can help with tactics and strategies as well, Natsuki-san. You can count on us." Otto said, smiling at his friend while trying to reassure him. Once again, Subaru looked at everyone in the dining room. Instead of finding uncertainty or hesitance on their faces, he found determination and conviction. Then, his eyes laid on Emilia.
"As everyone here has said, we can take care of everything here while you're gone. Just leave it to us, Subaru." Emilia said while giving Subaru a kind smile full of confidence. He couldn't continue this because he knew that once his friends had set their minds and hearts onto something, they won't quit or back down. Subaru stared at her for a few seconds before his shoulders went down a bit and he released a sigh of defeat.
"Okay guys, you win. I'll go." Subaru said as he gave a defeated smile as he finally gave in to them. The camp smiled due to their friend finally listening to reason and agreeing to go. But maybe they were right. Maybe getting out of here for a bit would do him some good. Subaru looked back at Emilia, who seemed relieved.
"Emilia is never going to love me, isn't she?"
Subaru grimaced a bit when he thought back to that one sentence and still felt a pain in his heart due to this reminder that he wasn't able to capture the heart of the woman he loved. He pushed that thought and feeling back down for right now as this wasn't the time for such a thing, not when he is in front of the entire camp. He just hoped that his trip and stay in the capital would end up being alright.
Subaru's eyes instantly opened as he was jolted awake when the dragon carriage he was riding as a passenger in shook, most likely a pebble that they had run over. He immediately looked next to him, seeing that Beatrice was still asleep while leaning on him, using his body as a pillow. Subaru smiled at the sight of his adorable Beako and then looked outside through the one openings on his side of the carriage, seeing plants, trees, all kinds of green and the wide open blue sky.
Subaru didn't pack anything, so he didn't have any luggage with him and he was able to leave without too much trouble. It wasn't that he didn't want to take anything with him. More the fact that he really doesn't have much of anything besides his regular tracksuit that he's had ever since he's come to this world and that outfit he wore when he, Emilia, Beatrice, Anastasia and Julius went to the Watchtower. Subaru shuddered slightly as he remembered that death trap of a tower, and the stupid decision he almost made back at that place.
It had been at least a day since Subaru and Beatrice had left the mansion. Beatrice came up to him after they had gotten done eating breakfast the morning Emilia told him that he would be going and said that she was going with it. Now that he thought about it, maybe said isn't the right word to describe it. More like she demanded that she go with him.
He didn't deny her coming with him because he saw no harm in it. He welcomes any time he can spend with her because he does like her presence since she is like a little sister to him. Besides, if something does end up happening in the capital while he's there, Beatrice being there with him would be really helpful. So in the end, she hopped into the carriage with him and the rest is history.
Subaru still couldn't believe it though. He was actually getting out of the mansion, and it wasn't for some kind of royal selection business either. This is for him. So far, everything has been going well. He would have some conversations with either the driver or with Beako, which actually helped to pass the time. And to his surprise, they hadn't been attacked by bandits the entire time. He didn't have to kill anyone and he was happy about that because not only did he not have to have extra weight to his conscience, but also because he doesn't have to clean blood off of his axe or his tracksuit because blood is a huge pain to get off of clothing and he found the trip to be relaxing.
The inside of the carriage was comfortable as well since they were able to sleep in it comfortably. Sure, it wasn't as soft as his bed back at the mansion, but the seat was a decent substitute for the time being considering he and Beatrice slept well so he couldn't complain. He and Beatrice slept well and that was all that mattered.
As Subaru was looking through the opening on one of the sides of the carriage, they rode past a sight that was extremely familiar to Subaru. What they rode by was Flugel's tree, or what it used to be before it was used in Subaru's plan to kill the White Whale. It used to be so tall that it would reach into the clouds, but now? It was just one massive stump while the trunk still laid on the grass where it once trapped the White Whale after it had fallen on it. But Subaru had a frown as he looked at the stump of the once magnificent tree.
Killing the White Whale was one of his many achievements and it was his plan that, in the end, killed the monstrous mass of blubber. But even so, he still felt that it was an achievement that he himself didn't earn and if he had it his way, Crusch would have been the one to claim full responsibility for it. That's what he fully intended to do until she gave the credit to him for coming up with the plan. He remembered trying to get her to take the credit, but she just refused and he ended up giving in. But that's not what made him frown.
It was the last time he saw Rem, his Rem. The Rem that got eaten by Gluttony. The Rem that he was never going to get back. The Rem that he failed to keep his promise to. He remembered how exhausted she was after the fight with the whale and how happy he made her when he confessed that he loved her before she went with Crusch and her convoy. And he didn't forget how happy he was at the moment as well. That was the last thing he had said to her before she got attacked by Gluttony and got both her name and memories eaten as a result, alongside Crusch who had only her memories eaten.
All that memory did was reopen wounds that were already there, knowing that not only did he fail her but knowing that he won't ever see his Rem ever again. Then, she had woken up and he thought that she was finally back, but soon showed that wasn't the case. After the whole mess with Vollachia, Subaru tried to start back up their romance and only got these words in return.
"I'm sorry, but I can't Subaru-kun. I'm not the Rem that you're in love with, and I don't think I can be her."
She was right about that. She wasn't the Rem that he loved and she'll never much was clear to Subaru. But it didn't make the pain any better obviously. All he knew at that moment was that he failed one of the women that he loved and that he was most likely never going to see her again. Knowing that just made him hate himself even more. Probably it was for the best because she possibly wouldn't recognize him. He's not the same as he once was. Subaru gave a good glance over to his axe, which was laying against the corner of the carriage, shaking slightly due to the carriage moving.
That's right. He wasn't the same person as he used to be. He was now a killer. Someone who has taken the lives of other people. Sure, he knew that the people he had killed were bad, but that's the thing. They were still people and he still killed them.
Subaru looked down towards his hands. He stared at them, as if there was something on them and there was. It was blood. There wasn't any actual blood on his hands at the moment, but there has been plenty of times. The blood of the many people that he had slain, all with these hands of his and that axe. Their blood was on his hands and his conscience. He then clenched his hands into fists and his face twisted into a scowl.
"Dammit. I'm on this trip to enjoy myself, not to torture myself." Subaru said out loud as quietly as he could so he doesn't wake up Beatrice and so the driver doesn't hear him.
'But a murderer like you doesn't deserve to have any kind of enjoyment. Why should scum like you get to be happy?'
A voice rang out in Subaru's head, taunting him with his sin. The sin of killing. But this wasn't just any voice. This is a voice he recognizes. A voice that he hears all the time, each and every single day. A voice that he despises the most and one that constantly taunts him in the back of his mind. That voice was his very own.
Subaru rapidly shook his head from left to right, as if he was trying to shake the very thoughts out of his head. He already had to deal with this kind of thing enough back at the mansion. He didn't want to have to deal with it on this trip too. This trip was supposed to be positive, right? So there's no need for these negative thoughts.
"But they still come back, even if I don't want them to." Subaru quietly said to himself while having his eyes closed, laying back in his seat and breathing in and out of his mouth softly to calm himself down. Subaru had nothing to distract himself with at the moment. Beako was still asleep and the driver was still focused on doing his job, so he couldn't really talk to anyone at the moment. Now that he thought about it, why the hell didn't he bring something to read so he can pass the time? It was at times like this where Subaru missed having video games and mobile devices because at least then he could distract himself and possibly have some fun while doing it.
Subaru held his head up with his right arm, the expression on his face showing how clearly bored he was. As he kept looking at everything they passed by, he felt his eyelids get heavy. The last thing he saw before he went unconscious was a wide open area of green filled with grass, plants and trees.
"Suba-
Subaru's eyes were slowly opening. As they were opening, he saw something in his field of vision and heard what sounded like a semblance of his name.
"Subaru!"
Subaru's eyes fluttered open wide at the shout of his name. His vision was still slightly blurry, but now that his eyes were wide open, he now can clearly see that 'something' he saw earlier was none other than Beatrice who was looking at him while standing up. Her lips were locked in a frown and had her hands on her hips. He thought it was kinda cute, but judging by the look on her face and how she was looking at him, she didn't seem very amused.
"I see you've finally woken up, I suppose." Beatrice said, her expression not changing in the slightest.
"Ah, and I see you're up too Beako." Subaru said while still trying to get himself together since he just woke up.
Subaru kept rubbing his eyes as he now sat up straight or at least tried to. He felt groggy and didn't really sleep well, most likely due to the position that he slept in. He didn't plan on falling back to sleep, but his boredom is probably what knocked him unconscious.
"Be thankful that I woke up from your slumber in fact." Beatrice said while still looking at her contractor.
"Yeah yeah. Thanks Beako." Subaru said while smirking a bit as he reached out his hand to give her a head pat.
Beatrice didn't resist or try to when Subaru's hand landed softly on top of her head, rubbing it back and forth soothingly. The frown on her face slightly faltered and she blushed a bit, but didn't really budge other than that. All Subaru got in response for this gesture was an hmph! from the spirit of yin.
"Hmph! Don't think this means that you escaped from me having to wake you up. Betty demands plenty of cuddling for this favor in fact!" Beatrice proudly proclaimed. This little scene had caused Subaru to chuckle a bit.
"Heh, don't worry Beako. I'll give you all of the hugs and cuddles that you want later, alright? But we have to get to the capital and get everything settled first." Subaru told the spirit. Beatrice raised an eyebrow as she looked at her contractor.
"You might want to look outside I suppose." Beatrice said as she continued to look at her contractor with the same expression.
Subaru, wanting to know what the spirit was talking about, stuck his head outside the dragon carriage to get a peek. What he saw made his eyes widen. What he was looking at was a street, lined with plenty of buildings, stores and stands. Some of them he recognized. The street was obviously filled with people as well, humans and demihumans alike.
"We're here, Beako. We finally made it." Subaru said with a smile on his face as he looked around, happy to be able to get out of this carriage and actually stretch his legs. He got up, grabbed one of Beatrice's hands, and got out of the dragon carriage but not before grabbing his trusty axe and strapping it onto his back. Couldn't be leaving that, now could he?
As soon as he got out with his spirit in tow, he felt the rush of relief people get once their legs touch actual ground. Even though this wasn't his first or even second time being in the capital, it somehow still amazed him. He didn't know if it's because of all the buildings, the sights, the amount of people here or even the fact that he didn't get out of the mansion much but either way, he's still amazed. Then again, it didn't really take much to amaze him.
"Hey, thanks for the ride man." Subaru said as he stopped taking in the sights of the capital to turn around and thank the driver of the dragon carriage, who still sat at the reins.
"You don't have to thank me Subaru-sama. It's part of the job after all and I like to travel anyways, but I appreciate it." The driver said he gave Subaru an appreciative smile.
"Do you mind giving Emilia-tan and the others my thanks when you go back to collect your payment? I wouldn't have come here if they didn't convince me otherwise."
"Sure, it ain't much to do." The driver responded.
"Thanks again. Stay safe!" Subaru gave him an appreciative smile towards the man, which the man then gave one of his own.
The driver gave Subaru a nod and then rode off, pulling the carriage with him. Subaru waved at the driver as he rode off and disappeared into the distance.
"Wait, how did we even enter the capital anyways? Wouldn't we need to verify ourselves at the border so they know who we are?" Subaru said while scratching the side of his head.
"The driver of that dragon carriage told them who he was transporting. The guards then looked into the carriage and figured it was you because of your attire and your looks. And then they saw me with you in that carriage." Beatrice said while looking up at her contractor, who was still holding her hand.
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot the fact that they sell copies of my tracksuit, and that I am also famous for contracting you."
"That is not the only thing they said when they saw Betty next to you, in fact." Beatrice said. Subaru looked down at Beatrice with a curious look on his face.
"Huh, what else did they say? And why do I have the feeling that I'm not gonna like it?" Subaru said.
"They said 'Huh, it really is the Lolimancer I guess.' in fact."
Upon hearing what the spirit had told him, Subaru didn't say anything else to show what his thoughts were on Beatrice's information. However he did do one thing that showed what his thoughts were and that action was an immediate facepalm that was somehow loud enough to be heard among the already noisy street. Subaru could be heard making a partly muffled groan due to his hand covering a part of his mouth, and Beatrice was softly patting his back in sympathy.
"Why? Why did that damn name have to be a part of them figuring out it's actually me?" Subaru lamented, his voice still being muffled but not to the point of not being understandable since Beatrice was able to hear what he said.
"Betty knows it is a horrible name for you, but it doesn't matter now." Beatrice said while still patting him on the back.
"Guess you're right. Nothing I can really do about it anyways. Let's just go ahead and get out of here. We gotta go find ourselves a hotel, so it looks like we got a lot of walking to do Beako." Subaru said as he looked back towards the busy street with a smile on his face as he and Beatrice began to walk away from where they were previously at.
Subaru and Beatrice walked together through the streets of the capital hand in hand. As they walked through the ever bustling streets of this large city, they took in the many sights of this place. Beatrice was amazed since she didn't ever really get to go to any large cities like this and never to just visit. If she were in large cities, it was either for a short time due to it just being official business and even then, she would only come if Subaru went since he is her contractor and the person she's the closest too. Even before shutting herself in her old library and contracting Subaru, she never got to experience this.
Subaru was amazed as well. Sure, he has been in the capital before since it is the place that he had been teleported to when he first came to this world. It was the first place of this world that he had opened his eyes to. It was also the place where he had met his first friends in this isekai fantasy world and where he started his journey that led to where he is at now. It wasn't all good memories however since he has died here a few times and then, there was also his struggles with getting help to defend the Matthers Domain from the Witch Cult and the White Whale. But he actually wanted to make some good memories here and hoped that he would.
Even then, despite being a knight, he wasn't ever here much. He can only think of a few times he was in the capital, including when he first got to this world and the whole fiasco with the Witch Cult and the White Whale. None of them was ever for an actual visit and was just for official business that had something to do with the Royal Selection at the time. For some reason, the city just seems to get bigger with each and every visit or at least to him.
Subaru and Beako kept walking, still admiring the scenery. They walked past stalls that sold a variety of things, but they didn't stop because they had a single goal right now on their minds right now. That goal was to find a hotel to stay at during their stay in the capital as they did need a place to sleep. They somehow still had not found one, despite there being tons of them due to the sheer size of this city.
"Subaru, do you even know where we're going? It feels like we have been walking for hours I suppose." Beatrice said while still walking alongside Subaru, who hasn't let go of her hand yet.
"Honestly, I have no idea. I thought we would eventually find a hotel if we just kept exploring. Maybe we should have asked someone for directions?" Subaru wondered out loud as he kept walking.
"Wow, how good you are at finding solutions I suppose." Beatrice said while giving a deadpan look towards her contractor.
"Hey, at least I'm trying here! Should've brought that damn map with me…" Subaru grumbled that last part, but it was still loud enough for Beatrice to hear which made one of her eyes twitch as she turned her head back towards her contractor.
"You forgot a map?! We could have had a map this entire time?!" Beatrice said in an exasperated tone.
"In my defense, the map was the last thing on my mind when we left and it didn't hit me until we were too far from the mansion to go back for it." Subaru had let go of Beatrice's hand to grab the area between his eyes and held onto it with his thumb and index finger. "I am such a fucking idiot."
"Yes, yes you are." Beatrice stated as a matter of fact.
"Wow, no hesitation! But seriously though, we are so screwed if we don't ask someone." Subaru said while looking around, seeing if he could find someone who he could ask for directions to the nearest hotel and Beatrice was doing the same thing as well.
"Subaru? Beatrice?"
The pair heard a voice call out to both of them from behind. They turned around to see who it was. What they saw was a woman about Subaru's height. She had reddish brown hair that reached just past her shoulders, bright blue eyes that were filled with warmth and kindness, and was all in all really beautiful. The person before Subaru and Beatrice already seemed so familiar, but the dead giveaway was the red ribbon that was tied neatly on the top of her head.
"Wait a minute, Petra?!" Subaru exclaimed, shocked and surprised from seeing her. The woman just looked at Subaru and smiled.
"It's been a long time, huh Subaru?"
Didn't really expect this one huh? Yeah, I ended up writing this for a contest, but decided to post this because fuck it. Wanted to do something that isn't really done much but also something that no one would really expect from me. Adult Petra x Subaru fit that bill perfectly since one, it's not something that most would expect from me out of Re:Zero(usually it's Subaru x Frederica or something like Crusch) and it's not something that isn't really done much. The only time I seen something like this done that I can think of at the top of my head is Lust IF and that Re:Zero smut entries fic. This is my second time writing romance(not sure if Romantic Doubts Romantic Gain counts since that is mostly smut), but I'm gonna try my best with this to make it work. Soon after I finish this or after releasing some more chapters for this, I'm gonna start working on the Doom react fic that I have been planning. Also, I can already see that the reviews for this is definitely gonna be something, so please at the very least make em funny. On another note, I probably didn't get Garfiel's way of dialogue right but to be fair, it is kinda difficult to write him speaking. It's like typing dialogue from a man who is so high on LSD and so drunk from the strongest alcohol imaginable that you can barely understand him unless you try to match him on his wavelength.
Also, had to shorten the summary on since AO3's summaries can be longer.
