Kenny's alarm always cockblocked his dreams. Just when he was about to get cozy with a real cutie, its incessant beeping would rush in and jolt him awake. He'd find himself alone in bed, semi-aroused and fully frustrated. This morning was no different.
Begrudgingly, he got up out of bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He sighed and shook his head as he headed into the bathroom to shower. The only time he was able to schedule any action was when he was asleep, and life still wouldn't even let him have that. He had only been able to enjoy the company of another a handful of times since he started med school. He was touch starved for sure, but he pushed forward by telling himself it would all be worth it once people called him Doctor McCormick. Dressed and ready for the day, he gave himself one final look in the mirror before leaving his apartment.
School, work, study, sleep—that was Kenny's routine. He needed to work to pay for his apartment. He needed to study to not get kicked out of school. He needed to sleep so that he had the energy to do all of the above. He managed to fit in time here and there to keep tabs on his friends and family, but there just wasn't much time for anything else.
He did, however, always make time to stop by his favorite coffee shop on the way to school. He walked in and pulled his shades up onto his head so he could see better in the interior fluorescent lighting. The sweet older woman who usually makes him his coffee every morning wasn't behind the counter today. Instead, he found a nervous looking blond man carefully wiping down the counter. Kenny approached the counter; the man didn't seem to notice him at all. All of his focus was aimed solely at the counter.
"It's just a counter, you know," Kenny said with a smile. "You don't have to get it to shine."
"Holy hell!" the blond barista screamed as he jumped back in surprise. "When did you come in?!"
Kenny put his hands up. "Just a minute ago, my dude. You were just so focused on cleaning that damn thing that you must've not heard me."
"Okay...okay, that makes sense. I've, ah, kinda had a lot on my mind lately and I've been, ah, getting lost in my thoughts." The barista took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled.
Now that the man was standing at his full height and facing him, Kenny could get a better view. His golden hair was shaggy, unkempt, and currently falling out of a sad attempt at a man bun. It really should have been contained in a hairnet, but Kenny wasn't about to make a complaint. He liked to keep his hair a little unruly, too, so he understood.
"So…can I place my order?" Kenny asked after he and the barista stared awkwardly at each other for a minute.
"Oh. Yeah! Yeah sure, go right ahead. That's why you're here, right?" The barista laughed nervously.
Perhaps it was because Kenny was so hard up, or perhaps it was because the barista looked kinda like the person from his dream last night, but he was charmed by this socially challenged cutie.
"Indeed it is, uh," Kenny leaned in, squinting at the barista's name tag, "Tweek?" That was an odd-sounding name, but for all Kenny knew, it was just a unique nickname. "Quad shot Americano, please."
"Quad shot...wuhhh?"
Kenny tried to hide his grimace. How was this guy working here alone? "An Americano with four shots of espresso, please," he rephrased.
"Oh. Right. I definitely know what that is. Okay, I'm on it!"
Kenny checked his watch while Tweek began to work. His morning coffee stop was taking longer than it usually did, but he still had time before he'd be late to class. He decided it was worth it to get to stare at a cute guy for a couple of extra minutes. Tweek's face was soft and rather pale, but he had a pleasant pink hue in his cheeks. His eyes, however, were dark and slightly sunken. It seriously looked like he hadn't had a good night's sleep in days. Kenny also liked the view from behind just as much as the view from the front. Tweek's apron strings were tightly tied around his slim waist, and the bow laid so nicely on top of his pert little butt. He tried to take a mental photograph so that maybe Tweek would show up in his dreams that night.
"So, uh, is this your first day, Tweek?" he asked.
"Third," Tweek chirped out over the sound of the bean grinder.
Third day on the job and no one is here training him? That's odd , thought Kenny. He walked along the counter and peeked through the small window on the backroom door. He couldn't see anyone back there. He'd been coming to this coffee shop since he first started med school and he honestly expected more from them. He thought that they would've handled things much better than this with new employees.
"Is Sue off today?" asked Kenny. "She usually works the morning shift and knows my usual order. That's nothing against you, please don't think that. I'm just worried about her, that's all."
"Sue called out. She…wasn't feeling well today," said Tweek.
"Huh. Okay. She must be really sick because I've never seen her call out in almost a year and a half. I hope she feels better."
The drink finally completed, Tweek popped the lid on the cup and brought it over to the counter. While he rang up the drink, Kenny took the first sip.
"Oh fuck , that's the good shit," he groaned. "That's strong enough to grow hair on your chest." He grinned at Tweek and winked. "It's just how I like it. Good job, Tweek."
"R-really?" said Tweek. The pink in his cheeks deepened. "Thank you. You've been awfully nice to me. I'm not really meant to be doing work like this, you know?"
"You'll get it eventually. I believe in you." Kenny placed a ten-dollar bill on the counter. "Hang in there, cutie, and keep the change. I'll see ya later."
Kenny had the day off from work, but that didn't mean he wasn't working his ass off. He spent the entire evening at the medical library and finally collapsed into his bed at half-past ten.
The cute barista was sitting in a hot tub filled with espresso and beckoning for him to join.
"I hope you're naked under that espresso," said Kenny, "cause I have some things in mind we can do with all that extra energy."
He slowly stepped into the hot tub, the strong scent of the espresso wafting up into his nostrils. He sat down next to Tweek and leaned in close.
Screech! A car appeared out of nowhere and slammed on its brakes as it came crashing into the hot tub.
Kenny jolted awake. He sat up, heart pounding. The dream had an abrupt and bizarre end, yes, but that crash noise — it was definitely real. Kenny swore to himself that he'd heard part of it after he had woken from the dream.
Three eighteen in the morning. Maybe someone must've been driving home drunk and crashed outside his apartment. That happened once in a while. It was a plausible explanation.
Kenny reached for the glass of water next to his bed and took a sip. His pulse had returned to normal and his nerves had calmed. Time to get back to sleep. He had a class in a few hours and he couldn't afford to be snoozing during it.
It took Kenny about an hour to fall back asleep, and it wasn't a very restful sleep for that matter. He woke up continuously. Despite outwardly feeling much calmer, his subconscious was still on edge from that crashing sound. When sunlight filled the room, he finally just said screw it and got out of bed.
That's when he saw it.
The lamp that his sister Karen had bought him last Christmas, smashed on the floor. That must've been the source of the crashing sound.
But how the hell did it fall over—and with so much force that it was shattered to bits?
"Hey Tweek," Kenny said as he entered the shop. "Day four, then?"
"Hello again, sir. That's right, day four."
"Oh gross, don't call me sir. Please, call me Kenny."
"Same drink as yesterday, Kenny?" asked Tweek. "The...what was it called? American Quatro?"
"Quad shot Americano," Kenny laughed. "But honestly, you can call it whatever you want as long as it's made the same way."
Kenny continued to make small talk as Tweek began preparing the order.
"I still can't get over how you're only on your fourth day of work and they don't have anyone training you."
"Oh. Right. I guess that would seem weird," said Tweek. "I, uh, was actually trained behind the scenes for a few weeks before they put me behind the counter. This is my fourth day of working on my own."
Kenny hummed. He had worked in the service industry before and he had never heard of behind the scenes training. Usually you spent the first few hours doing computer based learning and then you were immediately on the floor working, even if you didn't know shit about what you were doing. You at least had someone nearby who was assigned as your trainer in case you had questions. Maybe this was some new experimental type of training in a special facility. Or maybe Tweek had started his training at another branch and was just transferred here this week because Sue was sick.
Kenny was pulled out of his thoughts by Tweek frantically waving his arms around.
"Earth to Kenny!" he yelled.
"Oh, hey. Sorry, Tweek. I was just lost in my thoughts."
Kenny pulled his wallet from his pocket as Tweek rang up the order. He handed over a five-dollar bill.
"I just can't get over how your training doesn't make any sense."
"Gah!" Tweek dropped the change onto the floor. "I'm so sorry! Let me get that for you!" He threw himself to the floor, frantically picking up the coins.
"Tweek, don't. It's fine, really. Please, just keep the change for yourself."
"Really?" Tweek chirped from the floor.
"Yes, really. I know what it's like to work a service job, so I don't want you panicking over something small like dropping change. Not for me."
Tweek popped up from behind the counter, coins in hand. He shoved them into his apron's pocket. "You used to work in a place like this?"
"Yeah. Well, not like this exactly, but when I was younger, I worked in a restaurant. The boss was…special—and not in a fun way."
"Bosses, man. They're the worst, aren't they? Always telling you how to look and act. Badgering you about how you're not 'reaching your true potential' because you didn't get a hundred percent a test."
"I don't really ever remember being badgered about things like how I did on tests at school," said Kenny. "My boss didn't really care about me or my full potential. He never even got my name right."
"Ah! Uh, I mean like, you know, training tests. You know, like you need to take a test after the training video to prove you watched it!"
"Right. Training video tests. I still don't remember ever being badgered about them. We were always allowed to take them again. Seriously, Tweek, I'm getting kinda concerned about how this company is training you."
" Ah! Corporate! It was corporate's fault. It was their idea to make a training facility where they could, uh, do simulations of real customers before putting us in front of real ones."
"Fucking corporate. Yeah, sounds like something they'd do. Let's put a whole ton of money into some state-of-the-art training facility instead of putting that money into paying our employees a living wage."
"Yeah! Fucking corporate, man!"
"That's why I'm so glad I'm in med school. I can open up my own practice and help the people in the community who need it most."
"Oh, you're in medical school?" asked Tweek. "That's so cool!"
"Yeah. Second-year. I stop in here on my way to class every day. Although this morning I had two reasons to stop in—one to get my coffee, and two to see the cute guy behind the counter."
Tweek tilted his head down, seemingly as a way to try to hide his blushing from Kenny. "Here," he said as he handed Kenny's drink to him. "I'm glad that I'm getting to learn things about you, Kenny." He looked back up at Kenny with those beautiful doe eyes. "You're so kind to me."
Tweek's smile struck right through Kenny's heart. He almost dropped his cup from the distraction.
"Well, I should be going now. Don't want to be late, you know?" Kenny laughed nervously to himself.
"See you tomorrow then?" Tweek asked.
"Definitely."
Once outside, Kenny sighed. Two brief interactions and he already had a huge crush on Tweek.
Dammit.
The room was hazy with steam. Kenny felt the heat against his skin. He slowly moved forward, searching for something, for someone. Finally, he found him. Tweek sat alone on the wooden bench in the sauna room, stark naked. Kenny couldn't get a good look at him because of the steam, but he liked what he did see.
"Hey," said Tweek.
"Hey," Kenny replied. "In here alone?"
"Yeah. But I was hoping someone would show up to keep me company." Tweek shifted on the bench, lying down onto his back and stretching his arms above his head. "I'm all hot, sticky, and sweaty with nowhere to go. And I'm so lonely, Kenny."
Kenny felt his skin begin to tingle with anticipation. "Well I have some free time, and I would love to keep you company." He moved forward and reached out his hand to touch Tweek.
Kenny opened his eyes. His hand was outstretched above him. Another sexy dream with no happy ending—damn.
Yet the tingling sensation Kenny had felt in the dream was still there. It wasn't a pleasurable tingling, though. It was more like a skin crawling sensation. Like something wasn't quite right.
Someone was in his apartment with him.
Kenny held his outstretched arm in place while he slowly moved his free hand toward his phone at the bedside. He didn't want to make a noise, nor move so quickly that whoever was in his room would know that he was awake. His fingertips touched the phone. He pulled it into his hand, wrapping his fingers around it and slowly bringing his hand back to his side.
Kenny kept his breaths as slow and shallow as possible. He strained his ears to listen for the sound of the other person breathing, hoping he could figure out which side of the room they were standing in.
He brought the phone in front of his face and unlocked it. The bright light of the phone screen lit up his face. He had forgotten to turn down the brightness before he went to sleep.
"Fuck!" he whispered.
He scrambled to turn on the flashlight on his phone, but it was too late. He aimed the flashlight around his apartment. Nothing.
He climbed out of bed and cautiously crept around his room. He felt a gentle breeze against his bare skin as he passed the window farthest away from his bed. It was wide open. He aimed the light outside the window, staying a safe distance away in case the perpetrator was hiding out on the fire escape. He slowly moved closer to the window until he was finally able to shut and lock it.
He tossed the phone onto his bed and paced around the room. This was the second time in a week. His apartment was broken into while he was sleeping twice in a week. No one else had heard of any break-ins in the area recently, so someone was specifically coming into Kenny's apartment. He was being targeted. He had no idea why someone would target him specifically.
He thought about reporting the incidents to the police, but a broken lamp and an open window as the only evidence would be laughed at. They'd probably just tell Kenny that he must be a sleepwalker and he probably broke the vase and opened the window himself. They wouldn't care that Kenny had no history of sleepwalking, nor was it a part of his family medical history.
Kenny put his face in his hands and screamed. It was becoming harder and harder to sleep now that he didn't feel safe in his apartment. He decided to just stay up and study. He'd just order two drinks this morning to get him through the day.
"Hey Kenny!" Tweek had begun to greet him before he was even fully through the door.
"Hey Tweek," Kenny smiled. He tried to keep it cool on the outside, but inside he was screaming about how fucking cute Tweek was and how his voice sounds so good when he says his name.
"One Quad Americano coming right up!"
"Make that two today, please," said Kenny.
"Two it is then." Tweek gave him a wink that made his knees weak.
Kenny was honestly just thankful that Tweek had become so receptive to his daily flirtation. He would send back everything Kenny served him. Kenny was definitely having sexy dreams about him—even if they never ended up getting to the good stuff before he woke up. He had daydreamed once or twice about asking Tweek out on a date, but he knew that had to stay a daydream. Not only did he not have the time, but also it was awfully creepy when a customer asked out a service worker—whether they've been flirting with each other or not.
"So, anything new going on with you?" asked Tweek. "Since I haven't seen you over the weekend, that is."
Kenny's jaw tightened. "Yeah. Someone broke into my apartment again last night."
" Ah! "
"Are you okay?" asked Kenny.
"Y-yeah. I just burned my finger a little. Uh, please continue."
"Yeah, man, I don't know what's going on. This is the second time it's happened in the last week." Kenny crossed his arms and began to pace back and forth in front of the counter. "I don't know why I'm being targeted. Or at least that's how it feels. I asked my neighbors if they had experienced anything like it or had heard of any other break-ins in the area. I even asked if they had heard someone outside my apartment in the middle of the night. None of them knew anything about it."
"Wow. That really sucks, Kenny."
"Sure fucking does. I can't sleep. Not well, at least. That's why I'm getting the two coffees this morning."
"I'm sorry you haven't been sleeping well," said Tweek.
"Nah, don't be. It's not your fault." Kenny stopped pacing. "Actually…" His eyes lit up. "Tweek! Have you heard anything about break-ins in the area? Have any other customers mentioned anything suspicious? Just cause my neighbors don't know anything doesn't mean it isn't happening to other apartment complexes."
Tweek's shoulders tensed up, then relaxed. " Gah! Uh, no. I haven't heard anything, no. Sorry, Kenny." He turned around and approached the counter with two drinks in hand. "They're on the house."
"You sure?" asked Kenny. Tweek nodded. "Thanks. That really made my day."
Kenny took his drinks and left the shop. Stepping out onto the sidewalk, he looked up at the city towering around him. What was happening around here? Nothing, it seemed. Not to anyone else. Just to him. Just to Kenny McCormick. Maybe he was just feeling the stress of finals coming up. Or maybe he wasn't imagining things and someone really did want to hurt him.
Not typically one to give up his sleep, Kenny was starting to feel the effects of going without a proper night's sleep for days in a row. The one benefit to waking up earlier was that he could spend more time at the coffee shop talking with Tweek before class. Despite the seemingly odd circumstances surrounding his employment and training, Tweek was so sweet and polite and so fucking cute that Kenny couldn't stop thinking about him. Seeing him before school every morning gave him something to look forward to. He didn't have a lot of that in his life right now.
Unless Kenny was wrong, Tweek was equally charmed by him as well. Kenny swore that Tweek's entire face and demeanor lit up whenever he walked into the shop. He even began to anticipate Kenny's arrival and had his order ready for him. It didn't get Kenny back on the road any sooner, but it gave them more time to talk and, more importantly, flirt like hell.
Yet Kenny was still surprised when Tweek made a move.
"Hey Kenny, I've really enjoyed talking with you these past few weeks." Tweek was wringing his hands and he could barely keep eye contact with Kenny. "I was, uh, wondering. Wondering if you might, I dunno, wanna hang out sometime after I get off work?" The pink in Tweek's cheeks somehow made him even cuter.
Kenny smiled sadly. It was the story of his life, to have something he wanted right in front of him, but to know that he couldn't have it.
"That would be nice—really nice, honestly—but I'm a second year in med school, Tweek. I just don't have the time to date—especially date seriously—and I don't want to potentially lead you on by saying yes and then never being able to actually schedule anything."
Tweek's smile grew. That was not the reaction that Kenny was expecting.
"The amount of time doesn't matter, Kenny. I just really want to spend more time with you and get to know you better. I like you a lot, Kenny. You make this job worth coming to every morning."
Kenny felt like he'd been shot through the heart by Cupid's arrow. Tweek's adorableness was just too powerful. It was impossible to say no to him. Kenny had been awfully lonely lately—and he couldn't quite remember the last time he got laid—so maybe this was just what he needed. Maybe Tweek was just who he needed. Someone who he liked to be around, who just wanted to spend time with him, but understood that Kenny put school first. He bit his lower lip and took a deep breath.
"Okay. Yeah. Sure. I'd like that a lot." He couldn't seem to find the words to match Tweek's heartfelt confession. "I can give you like an hour on Saturday night. Would you be free then?"
Tweek nodded happily.
"Okay, cool. I'll order a pizza or something and maybe we can hang at your place?"
"No!" Tweek blurted out. Kenny was taken aback. "Sorry. That came out louder than I'd intended. Uh, it's just that my roommate is home all the time and doesn't really like visitors. I just think it'd cause a lot of problems if we hung out there. It'd be much less of a headache if we just hung out at your apartment."
"Okay, that's fine. I've had weird roommates before, so I get it. Does nine work for you?"
"Nine would be great," said Tweek.
"It's a date, then."
Kenny smiled and held up his drinks with a nod. He turned and headed toward the exit, but when he pushed open the door, he realized he forgot something.
"Hey Tweek?" he said, turning around in the doorway. "I never gave you my address. Might be easier to hang out if you know how to find me."
"It's okay, Kenny. You mentioned where you live last week, remember?" said Tweek. "Applegrove Apartments, 761 Elm Street, Apartment G10. Right?"
"I did? I guess so, if you know it." Kenny tried to run through all of their conversations, but his head felt foggy. "I don't remember that, but honestly I haven't been able to sleep very well these past few weeks. Maybe it's all in my head and I'm just being paranoid since literally no one has seen or heard anything, but my mind can't relax at night. I guess all the stress from school has finally caught up to me." He sighed. "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow night!" Kenny waved to Tweek once more before disappearing through the door.
"I can't believe we actually finished that whole pizza," groaned Tweek.
"I can, cause it's damn good pizza," Kenny laughed.
"You're definitely right about that."
A comfortable silence hung in the air as they let their stomachs settle. They were both sitting on Kenny's bed, as his studio apartment was not large enough to fit a bed and sofa comfortably. After a few minutes, the silence grew from comfortable to uneasy as the knowledge of their current location began to settle in. Tweek looked good enough to eat, and while Kenny had just eaten half of a pizza, he was still hungry for dessert. He just hoped that Tweek had saved room, too.
Tweek fidgeted on the edge of the bed. "Kenny, I have a confession." He looked up at Kenny through his long lashes. "I didn't just come here with the intention to eat pizza and chat."
Kenny felt his body begin to tingle. He'd so badly wanted to hear those words come out of Tweek's sweet mouth. He smiled, licking his lower lip. "I was hoping you'd say that." He shifted on the bed to face Tweek. He leaned in close enough to smell the cologne that Tweek was wearing. It was enticing. "I think you're really cute, Tweek. I really want to touch you and kiss you, if you'd let me."
Tweek let out a shuddered breath. "Yes, I want that. I want you, Kenny."
Kenny reached out and wrapped his arms around Tweek, pulling him in close. Tweek felt warm and soft in his arms. It felt like a flame had been lit inside of Kenny the moment their lips touched. Petal-soft lips danced across his own, albeit timidly at first. Tweek gradually relaxed as they continued to make out. He upped the intensity of the kiss, tracing his tongue lightly across Kenny's bottom lip. Kenny parted his lips in reply, lightly sucking on Tweek's bottom lip. Tweek moaned against his mouth, back arching gently. He tightened his grip on Kenny's shoulders, clinging onto them like he would fall off of the bed if he didn't.
Kenny felt the ache begin to grow between his legs. He badly wanted to relieve that ache right now by pinning Tweek down against his bed, but he held himself back. Using restraint with Tweek was probably for the best. He didn't want to push him too far too quickly and risk losing him entirely.
It didn't take long for Kenny to realize that probably wasn't much of a risk. As Tweek continued to relax around Kenny, his confidence grew, and so did his boldness. He was the one to pin Kenny down to the bed. His legs straddled Kenny's waist, but he didn't lower his hips down, much to Kenny's chagrin. He hadn't pegged Tweek as a tease.
Tweek broke away from Kenny's lips to use his elsewhere, kissing down Kenny's stubbled jaw to his neck. He moved along Kenny's collarbone, peppering the delicate skin with the occasional nip of his teeth. The ache continued to grow inside of Kenny. He no longer wanted to relieve the ache—now he needed it. He lifted his hips up to meet Tweek's, finally getting a small taste of that friction he craved. Kenny let out a sigh of relief; Tweek groaned against Kenny's neck.
Not even three seconds later, Tweek pushed himself away and rolled off of Kenny. "No no no no no!" He stood up and grabbed his shirt from the floor. He threw it on, hastily working on the buttons and leaving a few misaligned. "I can't do this, I can't do this!" he whined.
Kenny sat up, still in a haze of arousal. "Tweek? What's the matter? Did I do something wrong? What can I do to help?"
"Nothing! There's nothing you can do! I gotta get out of here!" Tweek's voice rose in pitch the more upset he became.
"Tweek—" Kenny reached out his hand toward Tweek as he watched him run to the door and disappear into the hallway. He barely took the time to shut the door behind him.
Kenny was flabbergasted. Everything had seemed to be going so well. Sighing, he fell back onto the bed. His hand was going to have to suffice again tonight.
Kenny could barely sleep that night. He tried to call Tweek the next morning but remembered that he never actually got Tweek's number. That seemed odd in this day and age, but Tweek was an odd man. The previous night had been yet another example of how odd he was. Not that deciding to end an intimate encounter was odd, rather, it was the way in which it ended. Tweek had appeared to be enjoying it—hell, he was the one who had taken control by the end—and he had clearly stated that he wanted Kenny. Kenny wasn't angry that things had ended so suddenly, but he just wanted to understand what was going through Tweek's mind. Was it something Kenny had done? Did Tweek have a past trauma Kenny wasn't aware of? Was Kenny just blind to the fact that Tweek wasn't actually enjoying himself? There could be any number of reasons—he just wanted some closure to ease his mind.
Kenny decided the best choice would be to try to talk to Tweek in person Monday morning. He figured worst-case scenario, Tweek wouldn't speak with him at all, but he could apologize and thank him for the date. Best case scenario, Tweek and him would be able to schedule a time to discuss what happened.
When Kenny entered the coffee shop on Monday, he was greeted not by Tweek's mess of blond hair, but by the kind face of Sue. As happy as he was to see that his usual barista was back and feeling better again, he was still disappointed.
"Hey Sue," he said as he approached the counter.
Sue's face lit up when she turned around to greet her customer. "Kenny! You're a sight for sore eyes! I haven't seen you in a while."
"Yeah, I know," Kenny laughed. "I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope it wasn't anything too serious."
Sue smiled and cocked her head. "Whatever do you mean, dear?"
Kenny's stomach began to feel uneasy. "What do you mean 'what do you mean'? You were out of work sick for two weeks."
Sue looked concerned. "I'm really not sure what you're talking about, Kenny. I haven't been sick. I haven't called out of work in months."
"What?"
"I was surprised that you hadn't stopped in recently. You're here every morning, like clockwork. I assumed you must've been really busy with school. It's about time for final exams, isn't it?"
The uneasy feeling began to grow. Kenny felt like he was going to be sick. What was going on here?
"I've been here every morning at the same time, Sue. I don't know how I kept missing you. You can even ask Tweek! He can confirm that I was here every day!"
"Who?"
The color drained from Kenny's face. "Tweek! The nervous guy with the messy blond hair! He's the new guy they brought in when you were out sick. Please , Sue. Tell me you know who I'm talking about."
"Kenny, I told you, I haven't been out sick. I'm not sure if you had a vivid dream last night or what, but you seem awfully confused right now. Besides, I would hope that they wouldn't hire someone named Tweek. That just sounds like the company would be begging for them to put meth in the coffee."
Kenny couldn't believe this. Did he dream everything up? Was Tweek and their date just a sexy dream his subconscious had whipped up for him? No. It couldn't have been. It was too real. Tweek's lips, his hands, his body—Kenny knew he had felt them. It felt like he was being gaslighted, but why would Sue of all people do that to him? Something was going on here and he couldn't figure it out.
Kenny quickly spun around and ran out of the coffee shop without ordering.
Kenny stayed away from the coffee shop for a few days. He just couldn't go in there and face Sue again.
On Wednesday, he cashed in a favor with a friend from med school—a third-year who was working to become a psychiatrist. He asked them to listen to his story and try to analyze him. They looked concerned while Kenny filled them in on everything: Tweek, Sue, and the break-ins to his apartment. Ultimately, Kenny was told that he should see a licensed psychiatrist because it sounds like it could have been Brief Psychotic Disorder. It was recommended that he was properly diagnosed and treated, but the friend was not legally allowed to do that yet.
Kenny left the meeting feeling more conflicted than before. Maybe he was being paranoid. Maybe he had been hallucinating Tweek. But maybe, just maybe, he hadn't.
Another week had gone by and there was still no sign of Tweek. None of the other patrons of the coffee shop had ever heard of him, either. Kenny was starting to believe that he had dreamt the entire thing up. He also hadn't had any more break-ins—although he was adamant that those were not just in his head. He had started to be able to sleep longer and more soundly in the last few days. It felt good to get back to his usual sleep cycle. He was able to study more effectively and he was certain he had aced his first final. Things were finally back to normal.
But Kenny still missed Tweek.
Kenny's body was filled with electricity as Tweek's fingers danced across his skin. He had never been touched this way before. It was cliché, but it really did feel like the first time all over again. His back arched and his hips bucked in the air as Tweek's nails scratched down his stomach and his fingers wrapped around his—
Kenny's eyes opened wide. The room was dark all around him. He froze in place. He could hear someone breathing, mere feet away from him.
His heart was pounding in his chest. He could hear the thump of his heart in his ears. He had a feeling the intruder could hear it as well.
Afraid to take a breath or move an inch, Kenny imagined what the outcome of all of this would be. His blood splattered across the walls? His school ID photo plastered all over every local news station as the story of the week? A minuscule obituary printed somewhere in the back of the newspaper?
Maybe.
But if he was going to go out like that, he wanted to go out with a fight.
"I know you're there. I can hear you breathing," he said.
The intruder didn't move. They didn't speak. They just kept breathing. Kenny could swear that he felt their hot breath against his face. Maybe they were closer than he initially thought.
"Make your move, fucker. I dare you. "
He felt weight shift onto his bed. Before he had time to react, the intruder was sitting on top of his hips and chest, pinning him down to the mattress. He struggled underneath them, pushing and scratching against their skin. It didn't seem to affect them. They grunted above him as they held down his arms above his head.
Kenny's eyes widened. His whole body froze in terror.
After what felt like minutes, Kenny managed to pull himself together enough to knee the intruder between the legs. The intruder released their grasp on one of his arms while they tried to push away Kenny's leg. He took the opportunity to reach up and grab at the intruder's head. He managed to get a fistful of hair. He pulled sharply at the hair, eliciting a loud yelp from the intruder.
Kenny's hand started to burn. It felt like the intruder's hair was on fire. He quickly let go, clutching his hand to his chest. The intruder rolled off of Kenny, freeing him. Kenny took advantage of the opening, trying to catch the intruder before they fled.
Hand still guarded against his chest, he sprang up off of his bed and ran for the light switch. Kenny felt a hand grab around his ankle. Sharp nails dug into his skin. He cried out as he fell to the floor. His free arm was able to protect his head from hitting the floor. He rolled onto his back and used his free leg to kick furiously in the intruder's direction.
Crack!
He finally made contact. His ankle was freed. Kenny pulled himself up onto his knees and crawled toward the light switch. He flicked it on and spun around to face his attacker. Kenny's eyes widened.
Their skin was a pale gray. Their legs were covered in brown fur from the waist down. They had cloven hooves instead of feet. A thin red tail thrashed around like a whip as they crawled around in pain. Their hands covered their face, their fingers, long and slender, with sharp claws adorning each one. Their body was long, muscular, and toned. Two large maroon horns curled up out of their head, sprouting out of a shaggy, unkempt mess of golden hair.
"Tweek?"
"Ow! Fuck! You kicked me right in the face, Kenny!"
"I have so many fucking questions right now, and you'd better start answering them," said Kenny.
"I could, but you wouldn't believe me."
"I'm from South Park, Colorado. I've seen some weird shit in my life, so start talking, Tweek."
Tweek grumbled and pulled his hands down from his face. His eyes were glowing yellow, still sunken, but still just as beautiful.
"So, obviously, I'm not a human. I'm an incubus. Well, not a fully licensed one, but I'm in the program."
"The program?" asked Kenny.
"Yeah. Like I go to the University of Hell at Lust. It's the campus with the best Incubus program. Go Hellhounds."
"Uh-huh. Hell has a higher education system. Makes sense. Why wouldn't it? Keep going."
Kenny slowly pulled himself off the floor and headed into the kitchen area. He made sure to walk backwards, never taking his eyes off of Tweek. After what just happened, he couldn't trust him to not jump from behind. He turned on the cold water and shoved his hand under it, wincing at the pain.
"Uh. Right," Tweek continued. "So to pass the program and get our full demon specialization certification, we need to take a final exam. I'm up here on Earth trying to complete it."
"And what? That final exam is murdering a human in their sleep?"
"No! Not really. Like I said, I'm in the Incubus program. For our final exam, we're assigned a target and then we need to successfully do what an incubus does. You know, uh…like having sexy times…"
"And I'm assuming I was your target." Kenny's eyes widened. "Oh my god, you weren't trying to murder me in my sleep, you were trying to fuck me in my sleep?! Shit, I guess that makes the whole straddling me and pinning me to my bed thing make more sense."
"But every time I tried, I couldn't go through with it."
"Wait, what do you mean every time you tried?"
Tweek laughed nervously. "Yeah, uh, I'm the one who's been breaking into your apartment. But every time I made it inside, you woke up and I chickened out and fled. Sorry about your vase, by the way."
Kenny's scalded hand clenched into a fist. "Fucking A," he hissed in pain as he opened it again. "It was a lamp. My sister got it for me."
"I'm sorry." Tweek voice was small and shaky.
"Is that all?" Kenny asked.
"No." Tweek stood up and walked into the kitchen. He jumped up and sat on the counter next to Kenny. "So the coffee shop you've been going to, at least while I was there, was all an illusion spell. And a pretty basic one at that."
"Wait, let me get this straight. If your only reason for being up on Earth was to finish your final exam, then why would you waste time with all of that?" asked Kenny.
"Well, ah—" Tweek wrung his hands together "—I kinda have an anxiety disorder."
"What."
"Yeah. Demons can have mental illnesses, too. Anyway, my therapist suggested that I try to ease into the exam by meeting my assigned target before going into their bedroom. So I watched you for a few days and saw that coming to this coffee shop was a sort of ritual for you. Then I performed the spell on the front door so that it would transport you, and only you, to a replica of the coffee shop, but in another dimension. I'm just glad that you never realized you were the only customer ever there."
Kenny looked puzzled, trying to remember any other customer coming into the shop when Tweek was there. He came up empty.
Kenny turned off the water and dried off his hand. He opened up his freezer and pulled out an ice pack, tossing it at Tweek. "For that black eye I gave you. Sorry about that, by the way. Defense mechanism. I literally thought I was about to be murdered and I don't really care to be murdered."
"Thanks," said Tweek. He placed the ice pack on his face.
"Wait, your body won't melt the ice immediately, will it? You did burn my hand with your freaking hair."
"Nah, I can turn the heat thing on and off," said Tweek, placing the ice pack over his face. "It's more a defense mechanism than a constant trait. Could you imagine an incubus trying to fuck someone while their skin was four hundred degrees? It wouldn't be very pleasurable, and our whole purpose is for it to feel good so we can steal your seed and whatnot."
"Why would you want to steal our seed anyway?"
"I didn't do very well in Business Management class, so I still don't fully understand it. Something to do with profit, I think."
"Okay. Right. That's totally normal," said Kenny. "Alright, let's get back to you breaking into my house multiple times."
Tweek laughed nervously. "Ah, yes. Uh, so not only did I start to panic like crazy when you'd wake up, but… I don't know… After meeting you in the shop, you were just so nice, and sweet, and I thought you were really cute. That did not help my nerves when it came to climbing up on top of you and…you know."
"Mounting me like a lion?"
Tweek, even in this form, still blushed, and it was just as cute as it was in his human form.
"I ended up asking you out when I did cause I thought maybe there was a loophole where if I had sex with my target in their bed at night, but they gave themselves to me willingly, I could still pass. I checked, and unfortunately for me, there isn't. I still went on the date though cause I really liked you. Still do, honestly."
"So why did you run out on me that night?" asked Kenny.
"Same reason I kept freaking out the other times. My anxiety got the better of me. Worried that I'd underperform, which is like, the worst thing you could ever do as an incubus. I was also worried that I would lose concentration on my human form while in the throes of passion. I figured I'd scare you off with it. Not everyone is into this."
Tweek moved his free hand up and down in front of his demonic body.
"Sounds like a lot to think about during sexy times." Kenny moved in front of Tweek. He took the ice pack from his hand and placed it on the counter next to them. He took his uninjured hand and cupped Tweek's face. "But to tell you the truth, you could have been the worst lay ever and I wouldn't have known. I am so hard up that anything you did would have rocked my world."
Tweek's nose scrunched up. "Did you think that was a compliment?" he laughed.
"I dunno. I was just trying to reassure you, I guess. Cause even after all of this, after all of the lies and deception and home invasion, I have to admit…I still really like you, too." Kenny frowned. "Ah fuck. I guess I need to stop making fun of all the romantic comedy protagonists who forgive their love interests' shitty behavior at the end. Cause I'm doing it right now. I mean, it's not every day you get the chance to be with a demon."
Kenny leaned in and kissed Tweek. No matter which form he was in, his lips were just as soft and he tasted just as sweet.
"So, what's going to happen with your final exam?" Kenny asked as he pulled away from the kiss.
"I don't really know. I really fucked this up. And even if I just had sex with you now, you know about it and that's an automatic fail."
"Can't you just ask for a new target?" asked Kenny.
"Nah, that's too much pressure. I suppose I'll just drop out of school."
"Wait, what? You're going to give up all that time in school just cause you failed at this one exam? What about all the money you paid into it? Don't you have loans to worry about?"
"What? No," said Tweek, shocked. "Higher education in Hell is free. Are you telling me you humans don't have that?"
"Uhh…"
"Besides, I'd really like to keep seeing you, Kenny, and long-distance relationships are hard enough without involving interdimensional travel."
"I can imagine," said Kenny. "So I suppose this means we're officially dating now?"
"If you'll have me," Tweek smiled.
"I'll have you any way you want."
