Out on the tiles

Harry waited outside the Jarvey club. Aeons passed.

At seven thirty, according to Harry's watch, Daphne Greengrass appeared with a crack of apparation, in a fur coat and heels.

She took his offered arm with a small smile, and they went in. She scowled at him, and his chest felt funny. Harry helped her out of the coat at the table Daphne had apparently reserved. She was wearing a light blue dress that possibly matched her eyes. Or at least that suited her quite well. The dress while fairly form-showing displayed no décolletage. Harry smiled optimistically.

"So, um have you had dinner?" asked Harry.

"Yes" said Daphne Greengrass, "So you can't get me drunk and… lead me into regrettable actions."

Harry's optimism deflated significantly. Not that he was thinking of getting Greengrass drunk and taking her home, or anything.

Harry waved a waiter over, and they suggested champagne. Harry looked over at them.

"Is that chamade or just… fizzy white wine?" asked Harry "From the champagne region or something… else?" The waiter twitched a little "We, uh, have champagne from that region." they said.

"Good. Bring some." said Harry, and he looked back at Greengrass, who was staring at him.

"You were in France for eight months, and now you're a wine snob?"

"My roommate at Beauxbatons took me to a mixer on my first Friday, and laughed at me all weekend" admitted Harry. "And I've had fairly decent champagne – it was worth the price."

Daphne lifted her eyebrows. "You went through a phase of eating porridge and drinking water" she said accusingly.

Harry shrugged "Memory loss" he said.

"The clinic." said Greengrass quietly "you went."

"Yes" admitted Harry, and Greengrass visibly relaxed.

The Jarvey club had a kick-donkey band, a decent bar and served crudities with decent caviar.

Watching Daphne Greengrass eat caviar off a cracker had Harry's eyes watering. She had a pink tongue that pushed the caviar back onto the cracker. Harry felt compelled to stare as she ate.

They danced, and Harry felt quite… pleased. At no point did he step on her feet, and after one dance she smiled at him. As Harry danced with her, her dress slid about slightly over whatever she was wearing for underwear. Harry's pants tightened and he winced involuntarily.

The Jarvey club's band stopped playing at one am.

Harry, slightly flushed and a tiny bit squiffy, kissed Daphne goodnight outside the club, she was once again wearing her fur coat over her dress.

Somehow she had her hands laced behind his neck. She was looking at him with a faint blush.

"Goodnight Harry" said Daphne, letting him go. Then she added "I'll be thinking of you" and she disapparated. Harry had an uncomfortable night.

Perusing the Daily Prophet the next morning, there was apparently a ball at the Ministry in a month. Harry found himself sending a letter. Remus eyed him curiously.

"Writing?"

"There's a ball at the ministry in a month. I just made sure to invite Daphne... Miss Greengrass." said Harry.

Remus nodded. "There are other dances. There's muggle clubs."

Harry lifted his eyebrows.

"Might be a bit much for a respectable pureblood witch" admitted Remus. "Still, muggles have dances too."

"How would I find them out?" asked Harry.

"Ask a librarian. Public libraries" suggested Remus.

The librarian at the Little Whinging public library was middle-aged and wore large glasses.

"Where would I look to find out about ballroom dances. Around the country?" asked Harry.

The librarian looked thoughtful and even scratched her nose "Hmm" she said "Interesting question."

The librarian nodded to herself "Dancing Times. We don't carry it but Knightsbridge will have it in the reading rooms."

Harry got there via Grimmauld place and the apparation atlas of Britain.

Knightsbridge library had stacks of 'Dancing Times', which had a calendar of every dance in the UK. Harry copied the current copy with a gemino charm when nobody was looking.

With the advantage of apparation, Harry analysed the calendar. He could easily find a dance every weekend, and a fair number of weekday evenings.

Harry sent a summary to Daphne by owl-post marked 'For your consideration' That the list had a dance every day, where possible was well. Why not.

Daphne sent the list back by return-owl, she'd drawn pink lines through some dances, and left a lipstick kiss on the bottom of Harry's letter .Oh… she'd used her lipstick. Apart from writing 'Pick me up at Greengrass Easting' on the bottom.

Only Harry didn't know what times. Harry wrote in some times that seemed plausible, half an hour before and sent the letter back via the owl-post office in Diagon Alley.

Harry got back to Grimmauld place, and Mr Lupin was waiting for him, holding a large envelope. Surely she hadn't been that quick to reply?

"This one seems important" said Mr Lupin "The owl that dropped it off was very unwilling to let it go, until I promised to hold it for you.

Harry's chest felt odd, and he took the letter, addressed in an unfamiliar hand.

He opened it up, and it was an invitation to the British Mugwump's office. Oh, work-stuff, thought Harry, from Mugwump Stevens.

'Mr Harry Potter.

As you're ICW staff, an invitation has come through my office.

You are cordially invited to a presentation of your Order of Merlin, First Class, with Bar.

The presentation will be accompanied by a ball, and will be held in the Ministry atrium, in one months time.

Your presentation is still putatively a secret to the Wizengamot and ICW.

Mugwump Horatio Stevens.'

Harry read the letter, quite a short one, twice. He'd already invited Daphne to the ball. A ball… in his honour, where he'd be getting a medal. In fact, the highest honour in Wizarding Britain… and a bit more, as even Professor Dumbledore, Supreme Mugwump Dumbledore only had an Order of Merlin, first class. Oh. And it was a secret. So he … couldn't tell her. 'Crap' he thought to himself.

Harry went off to see Stevens. He'd obviously have more to say.

When Harry got home from the Ministry, irritated by Stevens being a time-wasting arse, there was a letter waiting for Harry on his bedside table. A familiar looking letter. Daphne had sent the dance list back again, with alterations to the times. In most cases, forty-five minutes before, though in a few cases she'd crossed out and written in an hour and a half before.

Harry referred to his timetable of Daphne dances. Tomorrow afternoon, in Essex.

The month had dances with an increasingly familiar Daphne Greengrass, who was showing signs of finding dancing every few days rather amusing, and bits of life that wasn't dancing with Daphne, that Harry found annoying filler.

Then one afternoon, after a rural dance, as they walk back towards a good apparation point, Daphne said "Harry. I would like to talk about something that is not related to you, or me, or dancing."

"Um, okay" said Harry.

"I received a letter from a classmate" said Daphne.

Harry had a moment of doubt. Had Nott written to Daphne? Surely… not. Daphne wouldn't call Nott a classmate. She'd call him something derogatory.

"Uhuh" said Harry.

"From Blaise Zabini. Who while you say he's not your friend… he was the person you ate breakfast with for six years." said Daphne. Harry's stomach hurt suddenly. Zabini had written to Daphne?

"And Blaise says you have instructed him to winkle out Theodore Nott" said Daphne. She stopped walking.

"What in the seven hells are you up to Potter?" she asked.

Harry swallowed. What to say, what to say.

"I was… reflecting on my Hogwarts years and realised that Theo was rather… traumatised by interacting with me. I simply offered to pay for him to attend Gruppe Griswald, where he could be treated for … that trauma" said Harry.

"You know, if I hadn't spent weeks with you, I'd have believed that" said Daphne, and she put her hands on her hips. "What are you really up to?"

"I really am offering to help Nott" said Harry. "I may also have an idea for an experiment that Gruppe Griswald can perform on Nott, and there will be many interesting results."

"Experiments on Nott?" said Daphne. And she lifted an eyebrow sarcastically.

"I want to know how corrupt Gruppe Griswald are" said Harry "I'm paying, I'll get them to do one extra thing."

"Sterilising him"? asked Daphne.

"No!" said Harry, and Daphne grinned. Oh. She'd been joking.

"I have a harmless idea. They'll implant a copy of some of my memories of knowing Granger. The practical effect will be the same as if Granger didn't get bullied out of Hogwarts, and Nott will have… effectively known a muggleborn witch. As a friend. Of course."

"Why a muggleborn?" asked Daphne.

"Well Nott's … one of that lot" said Harry.

"That lot?"

"People who were almost sad some dark lord died" said Harry "Nott's an interesting case though, his mother and he, I don't think they missed his father, who I'm pretty sure was a Death Eater."

"So what?"

"Well, I'm simulating a more integrated Hogwarts. And we'll see how Nott turns out." said Harry cheerily. "It won't hurt him. It would be just… a judgemental bookworm meeting another judgemental bookworm. From different cultures."

"Are you… trying to make Granger a boyfriend?" asked Daphne, grimacing.

"Oh god no." said Harry "That's revolting. She's had boyfriends you know."

"Her?"

"She's not that bad these days" said Harry "I'd like to send her to Gruppe Griswald to get her limp fixed."

"And do what to her mind?" asked Daphne coldly.

"Nothing!" said Harry "I'm not as bad as… your grandmother."

"You leave my grandmother out of this!"

"Look, Nott's nerves are shot. I may be … partially responsible. I'm offering to fix him up, and one harmless experiment." said Harry "Come on, it's Nott. He looks like a hare poorly transfigured into a human. He needs help."

Daphne snorted. "Something for his teeth?"

"That's an easy charm" said Harry "Any healer can do it. There's no reason for Nott to look like a lagomorph. It's his choice. They're not broke are they?"

"Comfortably well off" said Daphne. "They've got a manor, some lands… one assumes farm rental income."

"That's rich, Daphne, not comfortable well off" said Harry.

"Well that makes my family rich then" said Daphne. Harry rolled his eyes.

"You rolled your eyes at me" said Daphne.

"Duh" said Harry. "Fur coat, family business. Rich. Also beautiful, and a great dancer."

"See you in two days" said Daphne. She blew a kiss at him and disapparated.

-==0==-

"We're going to every muggle dance in Great Britain" said Daphne after a dance in Wolverhampton.

"No, you crossed some off" said Harry defensively. Daphne eyed him with a slightly amused glare.

"I have things to do." she said.

"I have things to do" said Harry optimistically "Dance with you." he nodded. Daphne rolled her eyes.

"So are you going to start trying to get me back to your house ?" asked Daphne.

"Um." said Harry. The idea had great things going for it. One the down-side, there was a certain ball.

"Um, you know the ministry ball?" asked Harry.

Daphne smiled with a slight pout.

"So um" said Harry eloquently. "I invited you."

"And I agree to appear with you in public" said Daphne.

Harry jerked a thumb at the dance-hall behind him "That's public."

"But muggle" said Daphne "we will probably be in the Daily Prophet social section afterwards."

Harry stood, his mouth open, trying to think what to say. That was a monumental understatement.

"Um" he said … dammit. "The ball, it's an award ceremony." he blurted.

Daphne lifted her eyebrows.

"I'm… getting an order of Merlin. The um, defeat of Voldemort." said Harry. He took a deep breath "So um, yeah, you'd be in the society pages all right. And… possibly the front page."

"I'm sure I'd be on page three" said Daphne blandly.

Harry blinked, had she just said that. He stared at Daphne and she fluttered her eyelashes. "Do I have to put up a sign?" asked Daphne. "We've spent weeks dancing every other day."

"Well, side-along you home then?" asked Harry.

"What, no pickup line?" asked Daphne.

"What would you like?" asked Harry.

"I certainly wouldn't say in public" said Daphne, and winked salaciously again.

"Well, we need to find an alleyway" said Harry.

"An alleyway" said Daphne suggestively, and licked her lips. Harry's brain went a bit fuzzy from blood-loss at that point, and he was in severe pants-related discomfort.

Harry took her hand and sauntered along the street, desperately looking for an alleyway.

Harry finally found an alleyway, and Daphne trotted along behind him into it, her heels clicking on the footpath.

"Oh an alleyway" said Daphne dramatically. "What now?"

Harry pulled an unresisting, slightly smiling Daphne into an embrace. She felt warm and smelt slightly sweaty.

"Oh, snogging in an alleyway" said Daphne.

"Side-along apparation in three, two one" said Harry, holding Daphne closer, and disapparating.

Harry apparated back to the small park over the road from Grimmauld place, and helped Daphne to stand up straight.

"Rough ground" she said.

Harry lent an arm to balance on, and got her across the road to number twelve, and led her up the steps.

"A townhouse. handy" said Daphne.

Harry pressed down on the latch and pushed the front door open.

"My humble house" said Harry grandly. Daphne snorted, and stepped in, her heels clicking in the marble threshold, and then clopping on the carpet.

Harry stepped in behind her, and closed the door.

"Well, it's got character" said Daphne. Harry cleared his throat "It's easiest if we apparate to my room" he said, and froze with nerves.

"Easiest?"

"Fourth floor" said Harry. "Some noisy paintings we don't want to meet"

"And your family?"

"Not here" said Harry.

"Oh" said Daphne "A genuine cad's lair. Lucky me."

Harry stepped right up to the fur-clad Daphne and got his arms around her. She pouted. Harry leaned in and kissed her… she was a bit cold from being outside but kissed back gently.

"Apparating in three?" asked Harry.

"I suppose so. Four flights in the dark is a slog."

"Your coat means I can't see your legs or bum" said Harry.

"Oh" said Daphne pouting "Think I'm pretty?"

"Gorgeous" drawled Harry. Daphne narrowed her eyes.

Harry smiled "Apparating on three. Three two one… "

Harry squeezed them both through the crushing compression of nothingness, and out into his bedroom. And Kreacher had tidied up, the room looked pretty good. Uncle Regulus's Slytherin colour scheme hadn't needed more than dusting and removal of Voldemort propaganda.

"This is your room?" asked Daphne, the room lit by the large windows in the mansard.

Harry drew his wand, lit the lamps, and pulled the green brocade curtains shut.

"My room." said Harry, and jabbed his wand at the fireplace, lighting it; and with a showy flourish, cast a few warming charms, and then conjured a cut glass vase, and then flowers into it; and he got the pink orchids he'd been thinking of.

Daphne took her fur coat off, and banished it onto a coat-hook on the back of the door. Her dress today was, well it wasn't the green one with the straps, but the light blue was quite pretty, Harry supposed.

"Where are the facilities?" she asked.

"Out the door, left, the bathroom for this floor. The other room's not used; my godfather had it, and he's dead."

"You're got a floor of your own"

"I have a servant, and a house elf. This is my house" said Harry.

Daphne was looking at Harry oddly, like she was sizing him up.

"But be warned." said Harry dramatically "The bathroom's going to need warming charms, are you good at them?"

"I got an Exceed Expectations in NEWT charms; I'm excellent at them" said Daphne, and she swagged out the door.

Harry stripped to his boxers and took up a casual pose on the bed.

The door burst open five minutes later, and Daphne came in, but she was wet, and shivering.

"Your… toilet broke" she said.

Harry jerked up from the casual reclining pose on the bed in his boxers, and asked "Um what?"

"The water pipe to the tank broke. Water was going everywhere."

"Was?"

"I froze it. That's stopped the water spurting everywhere… till it melts"

"Um" said Harry ,pulling on trousers "How did that happen?"

"I was erm… washing up and I turned the tap off… and it didn't turn off properly, so I turned the tap tighter." said Daphne, wringing her dress hem out.

Harry picked up his wand and cast a drying charm on her dress, that had it dry in moments. Daphne smiled at him "Thanks. I'm not sure it won't ruin my dress. Getting wet then dry like that."

"Well you could take it off" said Harry's mouth.

Daphne shook her head "The mood is ruined" she said. Harry nervously scratched the back of his head, and for some inexplicable reason Daphne was staring at him. "Oh" she said softly.

"Look, um. I'll go and um, transfigure the broken pipe into a stopper, and come back." said Harry. "You could um, have a rest. In the bed." he said, optimistically.

But instead Daphne followed him to the loo and watched him transfigure the snapped pipe leading to the cistern high on the wall. The snapped copper pipe was inside a big icy blob, and Harry changed it into a blank-ended pipe, and then slowly vanished all the ice. And then dried the floor.

"You're good at making ice" said Harry offhandedly, as he stood by the cistern.

"Lots of practice at cooling charms" said Daphne, from just behind him. And then her hands wrapped around his chest, and she was pressed against him. She had remarkably warm hands for someone that had been so wet just before. Warm everything.

Harry tried to turn and Daphne sort of loosened her grip, and Harry lifted his arms, feeling like he was doing ballet or something and turned. To be held in a hug again, by Daphne, looking up at his face a little. "I'm sorry, but it just blew up" said Daphne. "I did turn both the taps off at the same time."

"Oh yeah don't do that" said Harry "The house is a bit… old."

"You're not wearing a shirt" said Daphne.

"I'm glad you are" said Harry, and he paused "Or I'd have ignored the flooding."

"The ice would have stopped it."

"Not all night" said Harry.

Daphne raised both eyebrows "Well, aren't you confident, why did the pipe break?"

"You didn't um, bump into it?" asked Harry.

"What? It's on the wall Potter. What on earth would I have been doing to break that pipe?"

"Um. Good point. How did the pipe break." said Harry. "KREACHER!"

Kreacher the house-elf appeared with a pop.

"Master and the witch master is not married to" said Kreacher. Harry felt a headache coming on. A headache with a pointy nose, and bat-like ears.

"Kreacher, did you break a pipe?" asked Harry.

Kreacher remained silent.

"Kreacher, I order you to tell me if you broke a pipe?" said Harry.

"Kreacher did" muttered Kreacher.

"Right" said Daphne "Your house-elf's mad."

"Kreacher, Daphne Greengrass, Daphne, Kreacher. Kreacher is about to go and clean every piece of silver again. Aren't you Kreacher?"

Kreacher vanished with a pop.

"Our house-elf isn't like that at all" said Daphne.

"Would they let you have a man in your rooms?" asked Harry.

"Erm… they'd tell mummy and daddy" admitted Daphne, blushing.

"Kreacher's clearly not going to report to any Blacks," said Harry and he felt his cheeks reddening as he realised a flaw in the plan. "I hope not" he croaked.

"Harry what are you on about?" asked Daphne.

"Um. Okay… well there is one Black left alive he might report to, Draco's mum." said Harry.

Daphne rolled her eyes "That… isn't going to get into Malfoy Manor to tell Mrs Malfoy you're… entertaining witches in your lair."

"Yeah" said Harry, thinking 'I hope she's not in the house right now.'

"Come on, back to my room." said Harry.

"Your lair" purred Daphne.

"This is all my lair, technically" said Harry.

Harry sat down on his bed and Daphne sat next to him and eyed him, then wrapped her arms around him.

"Um" said Harry.

"I'm on the potion" said Daphne.

"Oh, um, I was going to say, I've started an investigation into the clinic. It's possible the Swiss Aurors will get somewhere." said Harry. "And yes, I've already had one of my Aurors tell me that they're rich and may be protected from their crimes."

"Your Aurors?" asked Daphne, and she lifted both eyebrows non-sarcastically.

"ICW" said Harry "My trip was a fishing trip, but the plan is to have an Auror office in the clinic… as a courtesy. We need to know the numbers of people actually getting treated, in case there's a secret set of patients getting… worse things done to them."

Daphne shook her head "Harry Potter in law-enforcement. Who would have guessed?" She smiled softly "Thank you." she added.

"Well" said Harry "To be honest, Dumbledore forced me into the job. And I can't quit, though the actual job shouldn't be more than once every fifty years or so and the perks are good."

Daphne scoffed "That sounds more believable. This is all the Blacks?" she waved at the room.

"I inherited everything" admitted Harry.

"Scion of a great and famous house" said Daphne, and she tilted her head "It sounds like a book"

Harry sighed "It was a bit of mess really. What book?"

Daphne blushed. Harry stared "What book?"

"It doesn't matter" said Daphne.

Harry nibbled her ear.

"No" said Daphne. Harry stopped.

"Oy I was enjoying that" said Daphne.

"You said no" said Harry.

"I meant I'm not telling you what book it was." said Daphne. "It was a novel, and I'll never speak of it."

"Oh okay. Um… there is one thing." said Harry.

Daphne turned her head slowly "Yes?" she asked.

"My um, steward, Mr Lupin." said Harry.

"You didn't hire Professor Lupin, did you?"

"Um… yeah. And um… there are technically two witches who are Blacks still alive." said Harry "Andromeda Tonks, she um inherited from Sirius Black, … being reinstated into the family. Adoption form, fees, everything. Anyway…. Um… Mr Lupin has a lady friend who visits."

"He lives here?" asked Daphne loudly.

"I have fourteen bedrooms on four levels." said Harry, thinking that was quite roomy enough, "And it was good security having an adult on hand."

"Well I'm not staying the night" said Daphne. "What would my parents say?"

"I expect they'll get over it" said Harry, and he smiled crookedly at Daphne.

"You are a cad, Mr Potter. A shirtless cad." said Daphne, her eyes sparkling.

"Um… try not to laugh. Mr Lupins' lady friend – " said Harry.

"But he's a werewolf" said Daphne.

"Is Mrs Malfoy" said Harry, and he was unable to keep a straight face.

Daphne's shock was hilarious. "OH MY GOD!" she said. "With a Werewolf." She started to blush.

"Yeah" said Harry "So um… Kreacher might dob you in, but… hopefully to Mrs Malfoy, whose bit on the side is … yeah, a werewolf."

"This house is a den of depravity!" said Daphne huskily.

"Well that's really determined by your interests" said Harry, and he winked.

"Harry Potter!" exclaimed Daphne.

"Well, all the French girls at Beauxbatons were convinced all British wizards are massive deviants." said Harry.

"But you had… dates" said Daphne. "And everyone knows it's Germans, and the French are all sex-mad."

Harry wanted to roll his eyes so badly. Everyone in Europe was convinced that the witches in 'that country over there' were all kinky, and/or really randy. Just not the ones wherever you grew up. His room-mate Henri had asked nervously abut the sex-crazed British witches, who all wanted… well things that Harry suspected only a few witches actually liked.

"I made it clear that I wasn't that… um… deviant. The French girls were appreciative. What's with hexing and tying up anyway?"

Daphne blushed "um…. Nothing" she said.

"Holy… Greengrass? Do you like… slightly kinky things?" asked Harry.

"Not… um" said Daphne.

It suddenly made sense to Harry. Greengrass had bloody told him, after all. "You thought I wanted to get hexed." said Harry "Because… you um… like a little stinging?"

Daphne bit her lower lip and her knees were quivering.

"Daphne, um. Not to ruin the mood again or anything but… nod if you like that sort of thing?"

Daphne shook her head.

Harry exhaled nervously. "Thank Christ for that" said Harry. "Why would you think I liked that?"

"Because you were raised by muggles. Everyone knows muggles are… filthy, depraved, rutting beasts."

"About the same as magical people actually" said Harry "The French boys all wanted to know about the horny, kinky British witches. They didn't understand why I'd leave a place where everyone was sex-mad – "

"But!" protested Daphne.

"My working theory" said Harry "Is that everyone thinks those people over there, muggles, or just foreigners, are the ones that are really dirty, or just… horny. Not the witches or wizards where they are."

"Oh" said Daphne.

"You came to France to pick me up without any knickers on" observed Harry.

"No I did NOT' said Daphne indignantly "I was wearing a thong."

"It's ironic" said Harry "When you booked it from the ball I wished I knew some erotic variations on restraint charms."

Daphne thrust her arms out and crossed her wrists "Well?" she asked. Harry gave in, rolled his eyes, and cast the tricky variant of the body-bind spell that did thick velvet ropes not thin black ones.

"Ow gosh" said Daphne stagily "Here I am in a lair, all tied up…"

Harry leaned over and started to tickle her, and she twitched "You Beast!" she said squirming.

Harry tickled her ribs mercilessly.

"Potter you SHIT!" cried Daphne, wriggling around and crying.

Harry stopped and kissed her on the nose. She glared aback at him "You tickled me" she said.

Harry grinned, and slid his hands down her ribs, then asked softly "Still want to be tied up?"

"I was expecting… something different!" said Daphne. Harry's right hand slid across her dress and stroked her bust. Daphne inhaled and wiggled.

Harry vanished the conjured ropes.

"I liked those" said Daphne, in a sulky tone.

"But I can't get your dress off with your hands tied like that. Not without ruining a perfectly good dress"

"Switching charms" said Daphne.

"Aren't we clever" said Harry "I'd need a dummy to switch them onto…"

"Most witches have a few dummies and switch to get changed quickly" said Daphne. "Once you've put a ball-dress on once, you quickly appreciate a switching charm, and it's great for getting out of one's horsey clothes and into a lunch-dress."

"That never occurred to me" said Harry.

"You don't wear a bra or a corset" said Daphne bluntly.

"Well, maybe I do" said Harry.

Daphne's eyebrows shot up "Cross dressing!"

"Not actually" said Harry "Can you get that dress off, of should I help?"

"Hmm"

Harry helped, then Daphne held her wrists together and fluttered her eyelashes.

[AN: CENSORED]

"Oh" said Harry, ensuring that a sheet covered everyone so that no rude description would happen.

"OH?" said Daphne "That's all you can say, OH?"

"Well I feel awkward saying, can we do it again?" said Harry.

Daphne lifted her eyebrows.

"It's getting pretty late" said Harry.

"You KNOW my parents expect me to stay out with you" said Daphne.

"My house-elf doesn't like it." said Harry "But… we could…. Again?"

"I can't believe you're worried about your bloody house-elf" said Daphne, wiggling around in the bed. "And how many times do you expect to do this tonight?"

Harry checked his watch. "Well, it's ten thirty, I figure we should be asleep by half midnight. Three, four more?"

Daphne licked her lips "Three for four?" she said. "Oh."

Some time later, Harry turned the lights out with a quick 'nox' and lay back, Daphne lay, her arm across his chest and her knee over his thighs.

"Good night Harry" said Daphne.

"It was" said Harry.

Daphne jabbed him in the ribs. "Don't" she said. "I meant goodnight."

"Goodnight love" said Harry.

"What!"

"Goodnight love" said Harry. "Traditional bedtime words to one's lover. i.e. you. Goodnight. I really hope you don't crush me in my sleep."

"Are you implying I'm fat?" asked Daphne.

"God no, you're really fit" said Harry. "But what if I wake up with dead legs." he added quietly.

"Really fit?" said Daphne. Harry felt a finger pressing into his side. "Don't call me that"

"Okay, Extremely gorgeous" said Harry sleepily, and he crunched up and kissed Daphne's hair and lay back.

"I can't believe you" muttered Daphne.

"Look, I'm exhausted but honestly, five times isn't like a world record or anything." said Harry sarcastically.

"Oh shut up" said Daphne. But her leg didn't move to knee him somewhere painful, and her arm was still draped languidly over him, so Harry assumed she was amused.

Harry was nearly asleep when Daphne asked very quietly into his left ear.

"Do you really think I'm gorgeous?"

"Mmm" said Harry. "More when naked. Puberty was damn good to you."

"Traceys are bigger" said Daphne.

"Um, you're prettier, and I like you. You're gorgouesser." yawned Harry. "Sleepy."

"I might grow some more yet" said Daphne.

Harry reached over and found his wand, and lit it.

"Daphne" he said, looking into her eyes "You might think Tracey's are bigger"

"She's a bigger bra size, Potter!"

"But overall, due to your small waist and exciting hip-to-waist ratio, you are more beautiful, especially naked." said Harry.

"Do you think I've got a big bum?"

"Daphne, your bum, well… I can only say I've seen some nice bums, and yours is my favourite for two reasons."

"Two?"

"One, it's yours. Part of the whole Daphne Greengrass package. Clever, sarcastic, sophisticated, beautiful lips, fascinating eyes, and a nice arse, great boobs, and a little waist, so everything looks miles bigger."

"Nice arse?"

Harry slipped and hand down her side to cup the arse in question. "Nice arse."

"It's not too big?"

"If it was too big it's sag. Does it sag?"

"Um"

"No it doesn't." said Harry, squeezing said arse. " Second reason: Like I just said, it's a beautiful bum. Now go the fuck to sleep."

"Why are you holding my bum?"

"It's right there, and while tempting, I don't think groping you is going to get us to sleep."

"I find it helps me sleep" said Daphne.

"You've had five" said Harry, swallowing awkwardly.

"Three. You had five" said Daphne.

"Oh sorry" said Harry "I'm still learning. Do you um, need more?"

"Hmmm" said Daphne "Do you really like my boobs more than Traceys?"

"They're yours" said Harry "It's not like you're going to change yours are you, and shagging Tracey would be deadly"

"Deadly?"

"You'd kill me" said Harry.

"No I wouldn't" said Daphne unconvincingly.

"Yes you would." said Harry "I can recognise that lie."

Seconds later, Daphne twisted on the bed and was sitting astride Harry's lap.

"Uh. I am quite tired" said Harry.

Daphne bent down and snogged his brain out through his mouth.

"Mmmm" said Daphne some time later "Sleepy now."

Harry woke up sore and warm, with an arm on his chest. Daphne was lying next to him. He found his glasses with difficulty and saw Daphne was laying face down, one arm over his chest.

And his abs hurt.