(Or "Holy Mole-y!")

"WELL, THE LAST TIME YOU REMEMBER, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE HAD BEEN TAKEN CAPTIVE BY A HOST OF STRANGE CREATURES IN THE CENTER OF THE EARTH!"

"What—er, who are you?" Rocky asked.

"I am MOL-RAK!" The mole woman shouted. "HIGH PRIESTESS OF THE MOLE MEN!"

"Well, I am Bullwinkle!" Bullwinkle exclaimed. "And he is Rocky! And we are uh…of Minnesota. Y'know, up there?" He pointed at the massive, gaping hole he and Rocky had dug.

"SURFACE-DWELLERS?!" A moleman in the distance exclaimed.

"We LOATHE surface dwellers…" Mol-Rak hissed along with her fellow molemen and mole-women. "Those fiends, dumping their plastic, and their…PUH-EP-SIEH!" Mol-Rak cracked a can of Pepsi between her massive, strong mole fingers.

"Uh, it's pronounced "Pepsi"," Rocky replied matter-of-factly, then bought out a plush doll of Bullwinkle. "And the surface has many great things like trees, the sky, water, and this plushie of Bullwinkle! Watch when I pull the string…"

"ROCKY YANKED THE STRING ON THE BULLWINKLE TOY."

"Duuh, gee Rocky, math is hard! Let's go shopping!" A high-pitched version of Bullwinkle's voice came from the mouth of the toy.

"RAAGH!" Mol-Rak exclaimed, raising her claws and growling.

"Will you be my—" the sound emanated from the Bullwinkle plush toy.

"WITHIN AN INSTANT, MOL-RAK'S SHARP CLAWS HAD SLICED THE BULLWINKLE PLUSH TOY TO SMITHREENS. NEXT THE HUMAN LIKE MOLE STAMPED ON THE VOICE BOX, CAUSING STRINGS OF ELECTROCUTION TO MAKE THE WHOLE TOY CATCH FIRE AND BURN TO ASH."

"I despise that…THING!" Mol-Rak exclaimed, an icy tone in her voice. "COME FORTH! You SURFACE DWELLERS ARE TO BE SACRIFICED IMMEDIATELY!"

"Hold on, you can't make us come just because we're surface dwellers!" Rocky calmly spoke, trying his darnedest to reason with Mol-Rak.

"REEK, COME FORTH!" Mol-Rak exclaimed.

"AN EXTREMELY TALL, EXTREMELY MUSCULAR (and...extremely, surprisingly handsome?) MOLEMAN WALKED FORWARD, DWARFING ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE COMPLETELY."

"What're you gonna do—pound me?" Rocky asked.

"REEK DID NOT ANSWER—HE SIMPLY FLEXED HIS HAIRY LEFT ARM, PUSHING ROCKY'S FACE INTO HIS EQUALLY HAIRY, DISGUSTING SWEATY LEFT ARMPIT!"

"…I…can see….(*HUURK!*)…wHy tHeY call you Reek…." Rocky spoke, gasping for breath, then fainted.

--

"ABOUT AN HOUR OR SO LATER ROCKY AWOKE TO FIND THAT HE WAS UPSIDE DOWN, TIED TO BULLWINKLE WITH SOME THICK ROOTS, AND PLACED ON A STICK ABOVE A RIVER OF LAVA. NATURALLY THIS CAUSED A GREAT DEAL OF SHOCK."

"AAAAAAAAGH!" Both Rocky and Bullwinkle exclaimed, attempting to hold onto one another.

"Oh, excellent, you're awake..." Mol-Rak spoke, on the other side of the massive lava pool. "This is perfect, you get to witness your own bodies getting BURNT ALIVE!"

"WHAT A PICKLE THESE TWO HAVE FOUND THEMSELVES IN! WILL THEY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE?! MAKE SURE TO BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR "Sleestakin' it up!" OR "My sediments exactly!"!"