"Chelle, I can't really do this can I?" I heard Mum say as I sat on the floor by my bedroom door. She had sent me to bed early as her and Michelle needed to chat. After I'd tried to go to sleep, I decided my efforts would be much better used eavesdropping on their conversation. I already had an idea about what the whole thing was about.

"Carla, you need to talk to Peter about it, he's the one who got into this mess with you." Michelle replied.

"If I tell him this he'll jump right back off the wagon and all the progress with his drinking will have been a complete and utter waste Michelle. I can't be responsible for that can I?" Mum said.

"You don't know that he will fall off the wagon though do you?" Michelle told her.

"Michelle have you met him. It doesn't take much to set him off, and this is pretty big, isn't it?" Mum asked her.

"Well yeah, I guess so." Michelle agreed.

"Exactly, which is why it's best if this is all over and gotten rid of." Mum said. There was a long pause, probably as they both had a sip of wine before Michelle said,

"But think about Orla?"

"What about her? She won't even know." Mum said.

"No that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, you thought about this with her, didn't you? You thought about having a termination before Paul found out, I remember, and can you imagine? Can you imagine your life now without her Carla? I know it's not always been plain sailing but think about it, you wouldn't ever wish her away would you." Michelle said. She made a good point, I knew that when Mum found out she was pregnant with me, it wasn't exactly good news but then Dad found out and there was no way he was letting her have an abortion then.

"But I had Paul then, and Paul and Orla, they always had this special thing, he did almost everything when she was tiny. He knew what to do before I'd even realised anything was wrong and then when he died, she was just this adorable little thing who knew how to talk to people and behave and go to the loo and wasn't sick down my clothes. I don't remember doing the baby stuff with her cos Paul was always there to do it. But Peter isn't like that, he's not gonna be changing nappies while I'm over at the factory working, is he?" Mum said. She, too, made a good point. Mum and Dad and Grandma and Grandad had always told me how Dad did so much to look after me when I was a baby, because Mum struggled with it. It's not like she wasn't there, just to begin with, Dad did a lot.

"But Peter could help you with it. You've both had a kid before, what's to say you won't be able to do it again?" Michelle said.

"Exactly, I've got one more kid than I ever planned to have, and yes, she's by far the best thing in my life but I've been there and got the t-shirt and I don't plan on doing it again." Mum said. There was another silence.

"Ok, well, I'm just here as your best friend, not here to change your mind." Michelle said.

"So, you'll come with me to the clinic on Friday please?" Mum asked her.

"Yeah of course I will. What are you gonna tell Peter? And Orla?" Michelle said.

"I'll tell Peter that I've got a meeting out of town or something. And Orla, I don't know?" Mum wondered.

"Are you thinking of telling her you're having a termination?" Michelle asked her.

"No, no, no, it's just, she knows when I lie. She knows somethings up now; she'll know I'm lying Chelle."

"She can't know, can she?" Michelle asked.

"Trust me, there's a wise old head on those shoulders of hers, takes after her father, she knows when I'm lying." Mum said.

"Well you never know, maybe that's a sign that she should be a big sister after all." Michelle said and I smiled at the thought of it. They fell silent again and then I heard the lock of the front door click and both of them greet Peter who must have come in. I quietly got up from the floor and went over to my bed, where I climbed in.

I lay there and thought about what Mum and Michelle had been talking about. I didn't want them to know that I'd been eavesdropping on them, I didn't want to upset Mum any more than she already was. I thought about being a big sister. I hadn't ever really thought about it before. When Dad was alive, I was always happy to have the two of them to myself and then after he died, I knew Mum was happy to just have me, so in all honesty the thought had never really crossed my mind before. But now, lying here thinking about having a little brother or sister to look after and love, I quite liked the idea.

But then my thoughts turned to what to do next. If I said anything to Mum or Michelle about the baby, then they'd know I was eavesdropping, but if I didn't say anything, then Mum might have an abortion and I would never be a big sister, not a proper one. Peter always banged on about Simon and I sticking together because we were brother and sister, but the boy was a little toe rag and there's no way I wanted to associate myself with him.

On Friday morning, I woke up early and lay in bed while I piled all of my blankets and duvet on top of me. I made myself really hot just in time for Mum to shout at my door that it was time to get up. I didn't reply on purpose and waited a minute or two for her to poke her head around my bedroom door.

"Hey Orabel, gorgeous, you don't look very well." Mum said as she walked over and perched on the edge of my bed. She placed her hand on my forehead, which by that point was quite warm.

"I don't feel well Mummy." I said quietly. I barely ever called her Mummy anymore, but I knew it may work in an attempt to get her to stay at home.

"You don't look it Ora, and you're very hot. Did you sleep ok?" she asked. I shook my head, and she leant down and hugged me. "How about I pack Peter off to open up the factory and me and you have a day on the sofa?" I nodded to her before she kissed my head and got up. This is going exactly as planned, I thought to myself.

And things very much did, until about lunch time, when someone rang the doorbell.

"I'll just get that, it's probably the post man." Mum said, pushing my duvet off her and getting up from the sofa. "Hello, Hi Chelle, yeah come on up." Mum said on the phone before buzzing the door and putting the phone down. She moved around the corner to open the top door.

"Hello, you ready?" Michelle asked as she reached the top of the stairs.

"Ready for what? Where are you going?" I said, lifting my head up from the sofa. Despite the fact, I wasn't actually ill, lying on the sofa all morning had made me feel quite sleepy.

"We're going to Bristol, for a meeting, well, I am and Chelle's coming for the ride." Mum said.

"Can I come too?" I asked.

"Oh no darling, you're not very well, you need to have your rest, we'll be back tomorrow." Mum said. "Let me just pack my things, have a cuddle with Chelle while I do." She said, before disappearing off to her bedroom. Michelle took her coat off and sat down on the sofa beside me.

"I'm not gonna catch anything from you, am I?" Michelle asked as she pulled the duvet over herself.

"Of course not." I said.

"Is that because you're not really ill?" Michelle whispered.

"No, no, it's not." I said.

"Pull the other one Orla. I can see illness a mile off and there's nothing wrong with you, so come on, fess up, has something happened at school?" she asked.

"No, nothing at school." I said.

"So what? Why are you pulling a sickie?" she asked.

"I know." We both paused and looked at each other. I could see Michelle about to ask what I knew before she realised and Mum pranced back into the room with her overnight bag hooked over her arm.

"Right Orabel darling, there's a pizza in the fridge if you're feeling up to it, or some bread, I think, in the cupboard. Peter will be back about 5. I'll be back in the morning, ok angel. Call Rob if you can't get hold of Peter ok?" I nodded. She came over and kissed my forehead as Michelle got up from the sofa. "I love you Orabella Connor." She said.

"I love you too Mummy" I said and she kissed me again. As she put her coat on, Michelle kissed my forehead too and said goodbye. The two of us knew exactly what each other were thinking without having to say a word. She winked at me, before grabbing her bag and leaving the flat with Mum. I knew that Michelle wouldn't tell Mum that I knew, but Michelle couldn't stop her making her own decision at the end of the day.

That evening, I made myself the pizza in the fridge and then watched a film. Peter didn't come in until about 10 and when he did, he went straight to bed. I finished watching my film before I did the same.

A few hours later, my bedroom door opened and the light from outside shone through into my room. I opened my eyes as the door shut and faintly saw Mum standing beside my bed. She climbed into bed beside me.

"Hey Orlie girl, its Mummy, I just wanted to say thank you before I go to bed." She said. I felt half asleep but I managed,

"What do you need to thank me for?"

"For making me a Mummy, for showing me I can do this again." She said and pulled me into her and we lay like that until I'd fallen back to sleep.

In the morning, Peter had gone off to the factory early, saying he needed to get a head start on a few orders. I got ready for school. Mum had figured out about my faking it and was adamant I was going to school today.

"Are you gonna tell Peter?" I asked her as I drank my cup of tea and adjusted my school tie.

"Yes, I am when I can tie him down and actually get five minutes to speak to him." She snapped.

"Sorry, sorry, I was only asking." I said. Mum put her head in her hands.

"No Orla, I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed about telling Peter. I'm sorry for shouting at you Orla." She said, walking towards me and pulling me into her.

"It's ok Mum. I know you've got a lot going on. I'll go over to Chelle's tonight for my tea to give you and Peter a bit of space." I said. She pulled away and kissed me on the forehead.

"Thank you gorgeous, but hopefully I will have told him by then, so no need to stay away." She said.

"Ok, I think I'll have tea with Michelle anyway, I can't rely on your cooking anymore. I hope you've told the baby yet." I said. We both laughed before I finished my breakfast and set off for school.