Neither the story nor the characters belong to me.
Chapter Six
SHIKA
I pushed the bar up, breathing into the burn in my chest as i lowered it again, only to repeat the motion another dozen times. The altitude was still kicking my ass. It would probably be a full month before I was at the top of my game again.
I'd already partially tuned out Sasuke, who was spotting me, because if I had to hear any more of the special details he'd put into the house for Sakura, I was going to use my sweat rag as a gag. Not that I wasn't glad they were finally back together and engaged. The only thing worse than listening to them gush about their relationship now that they were living together was watching one slowly wither without the other. Thank God she'd taken him back.
I was genuinely happy for them. We'd all been through our fair share of hell in the last ten years, but they'd gotten a particularly brutal helping.
"Has he told you about the bathtub yet?" Kiba asked as he joined us in the gym at the firehouse, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You know, Saku likes the one with the jets."
"Shut up," Sasuke countered. "I'm not that bad"
"Yeah," I grunted as I pressed the bar up again "you are. But we're your friends, so we'll refrain from handing you your balls about it."
"Speak for yourself" Kiba said, folding his arms across his chest. "It's only because we can't. They're in Sakura's purse" I finished.
Sasuke gave me a go-to-hell glare and took his hands off the bar as I was lowering it. It immediately sank to my chest.
"Fuck," I growled.
"Cruel, Sasuke" Kiba laughed, helping me lift it "Struggling with three hundred pounds, Shika? You out of shape?"
"Hardly" I answered, sitting up on the bench "I think I'm adjusting to altitude. Or I'm just delirious from lack of sleep. Hoki was up three times last night."
For the second night in a row.
"Damn." Sasuke whistled.
"Yeah" I said, rubbing my scratchy eyes "Temari had him twice, and it was a fight to get her to give him to me so she could go back to bed that third time."
Sasuke's gaze narrowed on me.
"Her own bed, jackass" I clarified.
"Just making sure. Not that I'm against you two" He put his hands up "I'm just against shit going down behind Naruto's back. You know he's going to go ballistic when he finds out."
"He's never going to find out" I countered "This will all be over in a few days. He told me he won't be here for another week, if not longer. I swear that guy's a bigger fire junkie than anyone we know."
"True" Sasuke's jaw flexed "But rumor going around town is that you two are living together, and you know that's going to get back to him"
"Let me guess" I ran my hand over my hair, my stomach pitching sideways "Maggie Dean?"
"She told your Grams this morning at the diner." Kiba picked up a set of dumbbells. "Ino heard her, so I'd expect that phone call at any minute."
"Shit."
Sneaking by with a little smudge of untruth with Mrs. Dean was one thing. Flat-out lying to Grams was another.
"Yeah, good luck with that phone call." Sasuke grimaced. "The three of us in this room might know the truth..."
"Seven, if you count Ino, Sakura, and Temari" Kiba added.
"Eight." I shrugged "Shizune knows. She's just letting it slide."
"Fine" Sasuke agreed as he headed for the leg press. "Eight people may know the truth, but good luck in fooling the rest of the town while keeping it from Naruto. You might want to give him a call and a heads-up"
"Yeah, no thanks. I'd rather keep my dick attached, and we both know he'd fly home just to cut it off. I'll fill him in once it's over. He'll understand."
He had to.
Then why won't you call him? Because if he didn't take it well—and he wouldn't—I'd be put in the position of deciding to keep my oldest friendship or the boys together until the Pendridges got home. It was better to ask forgiveness than permission, right? Besides, nothing was going on with Temari. We were just…roommates.
And hell is just a sauna.
"I'm going to shower so I don't stink up the boardroom," I said to the guys and headed out.
I chose one of the private stalls and ran the water so hot I nearly scalded my skin as I stood with my back turned to the spray. The end of the stall was frosted glass up to my chest. Gorgeous for the view, but probably shocking for any hiker who wandered too close with a pair of binoculars.
The water beat into my sore muscles as my eyes wandered up the ridgeline. I initially thought Sasuke had lost his mind, wanting to restart our dad's hotshot crew, that he was a masochist for wanting to rip open a decade- old scar. But the longer I let the thought linger, the more I realized it was impossible to reopen a wound that hadn't ever really healed—not when it was still gaping, festering. Maybe, just maybe, putting on that patch and starting up the crew would help it heal, even if just a little. But we only had months to get certified—that was part of the rules the council had levied on us, and it felt more and more like they'd set us up to fail. Certifying an entirely new crew in that amount of time was unheard of— it was also why I'd come home a month earlier than the rest of the crew was due to report. Hopefully we'd be able to hit the ground running May first.
About ten minutes later, I jogged up the stairs of the Konoha Hotshot compound. The bottom floor was bedrooms, bathrooms, and the gym, all prepped for the team's arrival in the next couple of weeks. The next level housed the massive kitchen, dining room, gathering room, and the team offices. Sasuke had spared zero expense when he had the massive compound built, and though he fronted most of the cost, Naruto and I had thrown our money in too. It was part ours, and there was something to be said for that.
"Thank God," Kiba said as I walked into the conference room. "He was telling me about the granite Sakura put in the kitchen. I'll leave you three to it. I'm going on a run with Neji." He gave us a wave and walked off.
Three?
"Naruto, Shika just walked in," Sasuke said.
"Nice to hear you're alive" Naruto's voice boomed from Sasuke's phone on the glass tabletop.
Fuck.
Sasuke lifted his eyebrows at me. I shook my head.
"Good to hear your voice, brother. You coming home any time soon?"
Guilt ate at me, souring my stomach.
"We've almost got her contained, so probably early next week." He sounded tired.
"It will be nice to have you back" Sasuke replied, his gaze meeting mine.
Fuck, I hated that the pressure in my chest eased up a little. Temari would be long gone by the time he got home.
Part of you hates that too.
"Bring us up to speed," I said, leaning back in my chair.
Sasuke pointed up to the dry erase board that had been strategically lined out with the names of all the Konoha Hotshots in different colors.
"We only have until June fifteenth to get every single one of those names here and qualified. I'm not worried about the veterans, but we've got rookies out the ass to fulfill the council's sixty-percent stipulation. Qualifying them as individuals is the first hurdle."
"We've got the Uchihas, and they're already qualified," I stated.
Neji was a few years older than us and one of the meanest assholes I'd ever met. He cared about one person in the world, and that was Kiba, his little brother.
"Yep, they're good," Naruto agreed.
"What about TenTen?" I asked, seeing her name in blue.
"She's due down in a couple weeks. She promised her Montana crew she'd stay as long as possible. Same with Lee. The non-Konoha members will be here next week, so get ready for the influx." Sasuke tapped the list of names on the right.
"What about Gaara Sabaku?" His name was in blue too.
"He's still in Chicago but promises he'll get back by the deadline. He's not certified in wildland, though. Only structure. And he's pretty pissed that his sister put her name down."
"She's only eighteen, of course he's pissed," Naruto said. "Don't blame him. I don't want Temari near firefighters, let alone becoming one. He has every right to be angry."
Sasuke glanced my way before raising his eyebrows at the speakerphone.
"You know, Temarpy is twenty-six, Naruto. You're going to have to give her a little freedom with her dating life now that you're moving back full-time."
Where the rest of us had moved to join other crews, Naruto had only operated seasonally, spending the rest of his year here in Konoha.
"She can have as much freedom as she wants. Hell, I put up with Gemma 'the Dick' Stone for a year. He may have been a pretentious asshole, but at least I knew he wasn't going to get called away in the middle of the night for a fire and never return. My sister isn't going to live like my mom did."
And there it was. Reason number three billion and six I wasn't ever going to be good enough for Temari. I rubbed the bridge of my nose.
"What about Hatake?" Naruto asked.
Kakashi Hatake was the lone survivor of the Konoha Hotshot Crew, and he'd never forgiven himself for it. Instead of being burned alive in a deployment shelter, he'd been driving Sasuke off the mountain. He'd also reluctantly agreed to be the crew's superintendent since none of us had the experience or desire, getting us to the sixty percent the council demanded. That magic number had required Sakura joining on too, if only as our manager. Not that she'd ever see a flame.
"Next week," Sasuke answered.
"Big week," Naruto noted.
"Big year. We've got one season to get this team off the ground and certified, or this has all been for nothing. I've pulled every string in my arsenal of favors, and it looks like August is going to be our month to be evaluated for certification. We fuck that up and we're done."
We'd bet everything we had on this new crew. Our money, our old jobs, homes, and parents' legacies. If we failed, it would all have been for nothing. "Guess we'd better not fuck it up," I said as my phone rang. I answered it
with a swipe of my thumb. "Hey, Grams."
"Shika Nara, you have some explaining to do."
Denki was quiet as we walked into the house the next day, his cheeks streaked with tears. The somber set of his face seemed almost criminal on such a little guy. No kid should have to go through what he just did.
I held the mudroom door open for Temari, and she thanked me softly as she squeezed past with Hoki on her hip.
"Can I take this off?" Denki asked from the kitchen, and I walked in to see him tugging at his tie. It was black, just like his suit, and matched what the rest of us had on.
Temari bit her lower lip, and I knew she was close to crying again. She'd held off most of the service, but the second Denki started, she'd understandably joined. Hoks babbled and rubbed his eyes with both fists. It was a blessing and a curse he'd never remember any of this.
"Sure you can" I dropped to a knee so I was at his eye level. "Make you a deal," I said to Temari. "You take Sir Pukes-A-Lot and I'll take this young man."
It wasn't that I didn't like Hoks. He was cute, but after the third diaper I'd put on backward yesterday, I was shamelessly taking the kid who could speak.
She gave me a sad smile.
"Deal."
"Can I help?" I asked Denki.
He nodded. As Temari took Hoki to the living room, I undid Denki's tie and unbuttoned his suit coat.
"Is that better?"
He nodded, looking away. He hadn't cried since we left the gravesite, but I didn't know enough about kids to figure out if that was a good or bad thing. The not talking about it had to be bad... even I wasn't that naïve.
"Hungry?"
It was three, but after living with the boys for four days, I had yet to figure out if there was a rhythm to their hunger. It seemed if we were offering food, they weren't hungry, and if we weren't, they were starving.
Denki shook his head and fidgeted with his belt. If I had just buried my only known relative and had no idea what the future held for me, I wouldn't have been interested in talking either. Hell, I had no clue what to say to the kid. All I had was what I wished someone had said to me that day.
"It's okay, you know," I said, helping him with the buckle. "If you want to talk, or don't want to talk, it's okay."
His sad brown eyes met mine, and that lump grew in my throat.
"If you want to cry, or yell, or scream, that's okay too. You get to feel however you want."
"Did you cry when your dad died?" he asked quietly.
"Absolutely" My throat worked, but the lump didn't move "But my dad died with a bunch of his friends, so there were a ton of cameras and people around, and sometimes…" I swallowed hard "Sometimes it felt like I had to pretend to be okay when I wasn't. But you don't have to pretend, okay? You get to feel however you want."
He nodded.
"Why don't you go upstairs and get out of the monkey suit? I think Temari put your new clothes in the dresser."
I stood, and he took his tie from my hand, then walked away, his footsteps heavy on the stairs. I grabbed a bottle of iced tea from the refrigerator, then took out one for Temari too, putting them on the counter. It was almost funny how quickly I'd gotten used to always grabbing two of something—taking care of her when I could. After today, I definitely wished the teas were the Long Island versions, but that could wait until the boys were in bed.
"He didn't come," Temari said from behind me.
"Who?"
I turned toward her, untwisting the cap before handing her the bottle of tea. They'd only been here four days and the sound of Hoki jumping in the living room seemed almost normal now.
"Thanks." She took a sip and hopped onto the counter, her legs and feet bare under her black dress. "Nolan. I talked to Shizune just after the service, and she said she's left messages for him on the number listed in Tayuya's phone."
"Maybe he didn't get them." I tugged at the knot in my tie, loosening it.
That was the only answer I could find acceptable for putting your kids through something like this without being there for them. Then again, the guy had walked out, which didn't exactly give me the impression he gave a damn.
"His dad did. He lives in Reno. Guess that's where Nolan ended up, because the second time Shizune called, the guy said he'd told him."
"And?" My grip on my bottle tightened.
"And he didn't show up. And his dad doesn't…" She glanced behind her, no doubt making sure Denki wasn't in hearing range. "He's not interested in parenting."
I smoothed my hand over my jaw, keeping my vicious thoughts to myself. The last thing Denki needed was to hear me lose my shit over his family.
"I don't understand someone who wouldn't want their grandkids, or their sons" she whispered. Her eyes widened and filled with regret "Oh, shit. Shika. I didn't think."
I waved it off.
"Don't worry. You haven't said anything about my mother that I haven't thought at some point. Hell, I've said a lot worse, and besides, I had Grams."
"I never understood it back then either. I can't think of a single person in the world who wouldn't have wanted you." She played with her bottle as her cheeks flushed. "I don't know what to say to Denki."
"There's nothing we can say. Nothing that's going to fix this for them, at least. I just keep saying what I think I needed back then, and that's probably wrong too."
Denki's little steps made their way into the kitchen, where he stood in a pair of jeans and the new Paw Patrol shirt we'd bought yesterday when we went suit shopping.
"I have a question," he stated simply, his gaze bouncing between Temari and me.
"What's up?" I crossed the floor to stand beside Temari. So much for five steps away.
"What happens to us?" he asked.
His eyes nailed me to the floor, wide, innocent, and expecting an answer I didn't have to give. Words failed me.
"Tonight, we're going to have dinner, and then you'll take a bath, get to bed, and we'll go to school tomorrow after we drop Hoki off at Cherry's. How does that sound?" Temari's hand gripped the fabric of my coat behind my back.
Thank God for Temari.
He nodded slowly.
"Like normal."
"Like normal, except you'll wake up here," she assured him.
Don't ask what comes after that, I mentally begged. Temari was so calm, her voice reassuring and at odds with the death grip she had at my back. I didn't know what to tell him. So, I kept my mouth shut.
"Okay." Denki looked at us both in turn and then slowly nodded. "Can we go to my house tomorrow? I really want my special blanket. I know I'm big, but I miss it."
"How about I call Shizune, and we'll see if we can make that happen?" Temari offered.
He nodded again and headed off to where Hoki jumped.
"I hate this," Temari whispered, releasing my coat as she slid off the counter. "I don't know what's going to happen to them. I don't even know if I can get them their stuff, or tell them where they'll wake up next week." Her shoulders slumped.
"It's not fair."
Knowing I was crossing the line yet again, I pulled her close, tucking her against my side. She didn't wrap her arms around me, but she didn't push me away either. Her head turned, and she rested her cheek against my chest. I tried to ignore how easy it felt to hold her, how my heart seemed to stop, then gallop. She's off-limits.
"I'm so sorry I dragged you into this," she whispered.
I dropped my chin to rest on the top of her head, avoiding where she had her hair piled in some kind of knot.
"Temari, there is nowhere else I would rather be."
Her breath hitched, and we both fell silent.
Before I could ask myself what the hell I was doing holding Temari, the moment burst like the fragile bubble it was. Temari's phone rang at the same time Hoki let out a bellow.
"Baby," I declared.
"Phone," she answered, and we split apart, each taking our declared target. Hoki was in the middle of a double-fisted eye-rub as I walked into the great room.
"I think he's tired," Denki said from where he sat on the ground next to him.
Shit, he'd done that before and I'd missed it.
"I think you're right."
A quick glance at my watch told me it was 3:30. At least Hoki was on schedule, if the last four days were any indication. I lifted him from the jumper, and he looked around for a moment before settling his gaze on me.
Denki stood, anxiety tightening the lines on his face.
"Nap time for this guy," I declared. "How about you, Denki? I know you're big and naps aren't cool, but maybe you wanted to keep Hoki company?"
"Yeah. Good idea." Denki softened with visible relief. If I'd lost everyone except my little brother, I'd want to keep my eye on him too. "But just so he's not scared."
"Of course," I said with an exaggerated nod to the alpha pup.
It took me ten minutes and one wasted diaper, I still had trouble figuring out how hard to pull the paper tabs before they broke off in my hand but I got them both down. Not bad for a guy who'd never changed diapers before this week and never would again.
"You know, I don't understand how those diapers can hold everything they do if they just seem to rip apart. It defies logic," I told Temari when I found her staring out the window. "Temari?"
She turned, her phone clutched in her hand, those turquoise eyes of hers torn between sadness and utter panic.
"That was Shizune. The Pendridges are back early. Something about racing back to beat a snowstorm. They want to come over to meet the boys tonight so they will be ready to move tomorrow."
Wait. What?
Shock. Sadness. Relief. Worry. Absolute terror. Every emotion slammed through me like a freight train, so fast I couldn't grasp onto one before the next one hit. That's good. It's supposed to be good... Except it wasn't.
And the look on Temari's face said the same thing.
The boys were supposed to be with family. They were supposed to stay in a routine. They were supposed to be ours for a few more days. This wasn't the plan. Then again, nothing in their life was going according to plan at the moment.
"Okay," I said slowly, testing out my mouth's ability to form words. "Then I guess we'd better get ready."
"He gets a little testy in the evening and sometimes after he eats" Temari said over the sound of wailing as she walked the floor with Hoki. "I was thinking we should ask the pediatrician about switching his formula. Of course, you can do that…"
The Pendridges sat on the couch across from where I sat with Denki, watching with soft smiles as Temari paced. They were exactly like I remembered, calm, kind, and straight out of a fifties TV show. They were also older.
"Of course. That shouldn't be a problem," Mrs. Pendridge answered, placating Temari more than Hoki. Her tone was level, but a flash of panic ran through her eyes.
Her husband took her hand and ran his thumb across her skin.
"So, Shika, are you all done with California?" Mr. Pendridge asked.
"Yes, sir. Well, almost. I still have to close on my place out there, but they're overnighting the paperwork."
Denki's eyes darted nervously between the adults in the room. Shizune had perched herself on the arm of the sofa, and she tried to give him a reassuring smile.
"No need to 'sir' me. It's just Ben," Mr. Pendridge said, like he was letting me into the big boys' club.
Hoki continued to express his displeasure, and Temari made bigger circles, cradling him against her chest.
"I've known you all of my life, Mr. Pendridge. I'm not sure I could ever call you 'Ben.'"
"Fair enough." He chuckled.
"I'm so sorry," Temari apologized. "It's just a really tough time of night for him."
Mrs. Pendridge slowly rose to her feet.
"Nonsense. You don't need to apologize for a baby. Why don't you let me hold him?"
Temari's grip tightened slightly on Hoki. If I didn't know her so well, I would have missed it. Her eyes flew to mine, like I had all the answers. Spoiler alert: I didn't. I was so out of my depth here, we may as well have been swimming over the Mariana Trench. I tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it might have come out more as a grimace.
Denki leaned forward as Temari transferred Hoki to Mrs. Pendridge's arms. I put my arm around his shoulder and tucked him into my side. Mrs. Pendridge made the same motions Temari had, shifting Hoki in her arms frequently. Not that I blamed her. The kid was heavy.
Temari looked lost for a second, then folded her arms across her chest like she was trying to contain herself.
"So, you guys have horses, right?" she asked.
"Not anymore. We actually sold the ranch last month. We were hoping one of the kids would want to take it over, but they're all happily settled where they landed. We downsized into something much more manageable."
"Downsized?" I asked.
"We bought one of those little condos that just went up on the east side of town," Mrs. Pendridge said over Hoki's loudest wail yet. "There's a park right down the block," she told Denki.
He didn't respond.
Condo. Apartment. No yard.
No space for Denki to run around in, or for Hoki to learn to walk in. My tidy little vision of the boys happy on the Pendridge ranch went up in smoke, leaving behind something way harder to swallow.
As she neared me on her rotation, Hoki reached out with a particularly ear-piercing shriek. I locked every muscle in my body to keep from taking him. He squirmed his way out of her grip, lunging for the floor. I shot to my feet, catching him by the back of his pajamas right before certain impact with the end table. Thank fuck.
"Oh God!" Mrs. Pendridge gasped as the adults rushed toward us.
Hoki's eyes widened with shock as I cradled him to my chest, and then he let loose. Holy shit, the kid's lungs were unparalleled.
"You dropped him!" Denki accused in a shout, scurrying off the couch to stand at my side.
I couldn't argue with Denki's assessment, or his anger.
"I'm so sorry, I just didn't expect…" She covered her mouth.
"It's okay," her husband said in hushed tones, hugging her.
"He's fine, really," Temari reassured her while shooting me a look to reaffirm what she'd just declared.
Hoki protested when I held him far enough away to make sure that there were no bumps, bruises, or sites of impact, then pulled him against my chest and nodded to Temari.
"We can't do this," Mrs. Pendridge's cry was muffled in her husband's shirt.
"Betty…"
"No!" She stepped out of his arms. "I know we said we were up to the challenge, but look at us, Ben. We have no business taking on something like this."
I stopped rocking back and forth, my hand paralyzed on Hoks's back... What the hell did that mean?
"Why don't we step outside?" Shizune offered, ushering them out. "I'll be right back," she threw over her shoulder.
"How could you?" Denki yelled, his face turning red.
It took me a second to realize he was yelling at Temari and me.
"What's up, bud?" I asked, trying like hell to hear over the sound of Hoki going for a new decibel level in my ear.
"They're old! And she dropped Hoks! You can't give us to them!" His whole little body shook.
Temari dropped to her knees in front of him.
"Denki, we don't get a say. There are rules about kids and who they can live with." He glared at her.
"They let us stay here."
"That's because they knew it was temporary. The Pendridges are the only foster parents we have in Konoha. We"—she motioned back at me—"aren't qualified, aren't allowed to keep you for the long term."
"It won't be long! My dad will come. He'll want us!" he shouted with a child's certainty.
My gaze hit the ceiling as I blinked furiously, trying to beat back the excruciating sting as the knot in my throat swelled to painful proportions. Hoki went quiet against my chest, resting his head on my shoulder.
She'll come back for me! Maybe she left you, but she wants me!
How many times had I thrown that in Dad's face in the first few months after she bailed? How long did it take me to realize it wasn't true?
"Denki, all I want for you is to be happy and loved. I promise," Temari pleaded for understanding as he backed away from her.
The door opened and Shizune came back in, her mouth in a straight, tight line.
"We may have a problem."
Hoki lived up to his nickname and vomited all over me.
"Ah, good. I was wondering when it was going to get exciting around here," I muttered, patting the baby's back.
Fighting fires was tame compared to this.
