Description: The midwinter festivities begin as Numair plucks up the courage to propose to Daine at the ball.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Everything belongs to Tamora Pierce.
Author's Note: I am entirely following the books on this one. Daine and Numair are still lovers in Lady Knight and do not get married until a week before Sarralyn is born (Spoilers!). I also want to respect Daine's decision not to rush into marriage. It isn't for everyone, and she strikes me as a person who would rather stay with someone because she wants to not because she's said some silly vows before the gods. Again, why it's easier for me to write for Numair as I'm a firm believer in marriage and wanting to devote yourself to someone, stick a ring on their finger and tell everyone else 'Hand's off, mine!'.
Chapter 14
The end of December was an annual holiday during the midwinter celebrations. For seven days people feasted and exchanged gifts. On the fourth day of the festivities, the lamps were lit to welcome Mithros' return and a great feast and ball was held in the evening of the longest night.
Numair was pacing nervously in the corridor outside Their Majesties suite waiting for Daine to get ready. Thayet had told the young woman to join her hours ago so the queen could help her get ready for the ball. The mage had spent several hours bathing and getting himself ready and even wore the clothes the queen had ordered him to wear; dark purple breeches and a midnight blue tunic heavily embroidered in silver over a white silk shirt. The mage had hoped to convince Daine to wear her lilac muslin dress again, but the queen had quickly dismissed that idea saying she had worn it last winter.
Numair buried his hands deep into his pockets touching the ring hidden there, turning it over and over. He had bought the engagement ring very soon after their return from Port Legann. It was a twisted silver and copper band with sapphires inset into the metal. It was far more elegant than anything he could create but the mage had added several protection spells onto the jewels. Numair hadn't been sure when to propose to Daine again but decided midwinter was a more appropriate setting than a battlefield. He had wanted to propose when the young woman had moved in with him but had held off thinking it too soon. Now he was horribly nervous and didn't even have Kitten to keep him company, with the dragonet having gone with her mother to get ready.
The door opened and Thayet appeared wearing a stunning pale blue silk dress heavily embellished with crystals and white embroidery. Her black hair had been artfully coiled on top of her head and her face was enhanced with a little colour. It was easy to see why so many men considered her to be one of the most beautiful women in the realm and envied the king.
Thayet smiled at him and bustled over. "Yes, you'll do nicely," she said fussing with his tunic until it lay to her satisfaction.
His breath caught as Daine stepped out and Numair forgot all about the queen beside him. The young woman was dressed in a twilight-blue silk dress with silver embroidery decorating the long sleeves and tiny crystals sewn into the bodice and skirt giving it the appearance of the night sky. Her wild curls had been pinned around her face but left to tumble down her back revealing the sapphire drops in her ears which matched the sapphire bracelet at her wrist. Like Thayet, Daine's face had been enhanced delicately with colour on her lips and eyelids.
"How do I look?" she smiled shyly at him.
Numair opened his mouth, and his mind went completely blank as his eyes travelled over her again.
Thayet laughed, "Daine, sometimes rendering a man speechless is the highest form of compliment – especially if that man is Numair."
The mage shot his queen a dark look and forced himself to say something. "You look –" his brain supplied the word 'lovely', but he refused to be as pathetic as he'd been in Carthak "exquisite." That was still not an adequate description, but he was struggling.
Daine giggled floating closer until she stood before him. "You look very handsome."
Numair flushed at the compliment feeling like a weed next to two very elegant blooms. He reached out and brushed his fingers over the earrings before noticing the silver chain around her neck. "You're wearing the locket."
The young woman smiled radiantly up at him as Thayet interjected. "Yes, that is a very beautiful gift. Volney Rain's work, isn't it?"
The mage nodded still not able to take his eyes off Daine until an indignant squawk from the floor had everyone looking down. The dragonet looked up at the three humans wearing the necklace he'd given her at the last ball and a dark blue ribbon on her tail.
Numair smiled, "Sorry, sweetheart. You look very beautiful too."
Kitten trilled happily and twirled making the humans laugh.
"We should get to the feast before everyone starves," the queen commented and started to head down the corridor with the dragonet scampering at her heels.
The mage stroked his fingers over Daine's cheek before taking her hand and kissing the knuckles gently. "May I have the pleasure of escorting the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on to dinner?"
The Wildmage shook her head in amusement. "Player!"
"I mean every word," he said truthfully offering her his arm.
She grinned, still not believing him, as she slipped her arm into his. Kitten whistled and chirped impatiently.
"We're coming," Daine laughed.
The feast was an extravagant affair and the cooks had gone to a lot of effort to recreate some of the food to imitate a few rare Immortals. Numair admired their creativity but didn't touch most of it. He and Daine found selections of fish and chicken to satisfy their appetites, although his nerves were starting to make him feel sick. They were waited on by senior pages and squires, with the Wildmage causing quite a stir in her elegant gown. More than one young man admired her while the mage glowered like a protective shadow feeling his insides knot with nervous energy. Throughout dinner he kept reaching into his pocket to check the sapphire ring was still there. Numair got so nervous that he managed to spill his dinner down his tunic, thankfully Kitten used her magic to remove the stain, so he didn't have to change clothes. If he'd tried to do the spells himself, he probably would have incinerated the fabric.
After the feast the king and queen led the guests to the ballroom. Numair had danced with Daine before but never like this. He'd always picked a light-hearted dance or one where the couples swapped partners. As the mage stepped onto the dancefloor opposite his lover, he felt his heart begin to pound in his chest. It was one of the dances he'd had the displeasure of watching her perform with a young man at the Celebration Ball. As Numair cupped her cheek and placed a hand onto her waist a familiar feeling came over him. He smiled slyly as instead of just cupping her cheek he caressed it as they turned. The mage had seduced many a woman into his bed from the dancefloor but, as of yet, he hadn't had the opportunity to dance like this with Daine. Every touch was a caress as his eyes burned into hers, and he seduced her openly while the other couples danced. When the music ended the young woman's cheeks were flushed and she looked very flustered as he led her off the dancefloor. Numair didn't even care about the looks and whispers that were directed their way for once.
"What was that all about?" she demanded as they paused for a drink.
"What?" he asked innocently.
"That!"she hissed at him. "That wasn't dancing!"
"My dear, that is exactly what dancing was created for," Numair grinned and kissed her fingers flirtatiously.
"What's gotten into to you?" Daine blushed furiously.
The mage shrugged and grinned having a mouthful of his wine. "It's been a long time since I could actually enjoy dancing with someone again." He looked down at the embarrassed young woman beside him and reconsidered. "I'm sorry, I'll behave myself."
The Wildmage looked up at him frowning. "You've never danced with me like that before. That felt –" she scrunched up her face trying to think of an accurate description.
"Sexual," he supplied for her. "It would have been highly inappropriate to dance with you like that before now. You knew I had a reputation. I used to enjoy dancing and flirting at court functions. I will admit to getting a little carried away just now."
"A little?" she asked incredulously.
"Another dance, my lady?" he asked putting down his goblet and holding out his hand. "I promise I'll behave."
Daine eyed him suspiciously. "You're like a different person."
Numair met her eyes seriously. "Just another side of me you haven't seen before. This is hardly the person I wanted you to know when I was your teacher." Worryingly, the mage wasn't sure he could turn it off either. Daine looked absolutely breath-taking and putting his hands on her or holding her in his arms was bringing out a side of him that wanted to flirt and seduce her while they danced.
She placed her hand in his giving him a considering and wary look but let him lead her back to the dancefloor. The next dance they held each other at the elbows, moving through the steps and then separating to clap three times before repeating the steps in the opposite direction. There were some intricate steps the man made around the lady before he retook her elbows again and repeated the first series. Numair managed not to caress or stroke her every time they touched but he couldn't keep the heat out of his eyes. He'd fantasised about dancing with her this way last midwinter and now she was in his arms…
They danced another three pair's dances before stopping for refreshment. The blush staining Daine's cheeks hadn't left her since their first dance together and she was breathing heavily, although the mage knew that wasn't from physical exertion. Numair felt his nerves begin to build again as he reached into his pocket to turn the ring idly. Dancing helped take his mind off what he planned to do later.
He escorted his lover back to the dancefloor where they were joined by Jon and Thayet for one of the dances where couples exchanged partners. The Wildmage became horribly flustered when the king took her hand and spun her under his arm. She stumbled twice and the king had to catch her on the last one. Numair was feeling more than a little jealous and possessive when Jon passed her back through a turn under the arms. Daine was blushing worse than ever when the music ended, and half dragged the mage off the dancefloor.
"I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my life!" She hugged her arms self-consciously as Numair wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close.
"Jon always has that effect on women," he muttered darkly.
Daine glanced up at him. "So do you."
He didn't look at her feeling incredibly jealous that she'd been more flustered dancing with the king than with him. Numair knew that women fell for Jon's good looks all the time, but it was quite mortifying to have the woman you love distracted by another man.
"Are you jealous?" The mage shifted uncomfortably and refused to meet her eyes until she grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her. "You are! If you don't want me dancing with other people then don't make us join the group dances," she teased. "I'm perfectly happy being yours tonight."
Numair's breath caught as he stared at her, completely baffled. "Really?"
"Of course. I don't want to dance with anyone else, 'specially not the king! I've never felt so uncomfortable – and then I messed up the steps and he had to catch me…" she squeezed her eyes and shuddered. "I'd much rather dance with you – even if you are a bit strange tonight." Daine opened her eyes and looked at him under her lashes. "I like it though."
The mage felt heat surge through him as he bent down to brush his lips against hers. For a moment he considered escaping the ball entirely and taking her back to his rooms but thought better of it. Numair hadn't enjoyed the last two balls and he wanted to spend this one with her. There was no rush to leave, and it would be his – their rooms they would return to at the end of the night anyway.
They took several more turns together on the dancefloor and the mage was feeling less inclined to behave as he started to caress his lover again. Either Daine didn't mind, or she was getting used to him flirting with her as she returned a few caresses of her own. This slow seduction they were performing was tantalising, especially as they both knew what would happen when they returned to their bedchamber that night. The next dance to be announced was a fast-paced, lively tune that Numair had danced with the Wildmage in the past.
He took her hand and kissed it adoringly. "Would you excuse me for the next one?" At Daine's hurt look he squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I promised Onua a dance and this seems to be the appropriate time."
She smiled reassuringly and nodded as the mage sought out his friend.
"May I have this dance?" he bowed extravagantly and held out a hand to the K'miri horsemistress.
She glared at him. "You're having a good time with Daine. You needn't bother me."
"On the contrary, I have not seen you on the dancefloor yet and this is the perfect opportunity." Numair slipped his hand into hers and started to lead his friend to towards the other dancers.
"Numair! Don't be ridiculous," she protested. "You know I don't dance."
"You promised me one," he said as they took their places in the circle of dancers.
"I never promised you anything!" Onua hissed at him. "I said I'd think about it. And you shouldn't be leaving Daine unattended. She'll find some other young man to dance with if you aren't careful."
"She seems to have found herself the perfect partner for this dance," the mage said mischievously nodding towards his lover.
Onua turned and spotted Daine standing with Musenda and spluttered trying not to burst out laughing. "Isn't this the one where you lift the woman into the air after we've done a short run?"
Numair grinned broadly. "It is."
The K'miri was failing to hold back her laughter now. "He'll have her halfway to the ceiling!"
The pair were both laughing when the dance started. The mage took Onua around the floor, lifting her high into the air trying to reach the heights Daine was being lifted to. Both women were having a wonderful time, grinning like fools as their tall partners lifted them higher than the other women. Numair kissed his friend's hand at the end of the dance and let her escape as he went to retrieve his lover.
"If I might cut in?" he said sliding his arm around Daine's waist and smiling at the ex-gladiator.
Musenda rumbled a deep laugh as his eyes sparkled. "You ought to be careful leaving a beauty like that on her own."
Daine blushed as the mage grinned at his old friend. "I'm lucky to have good friends who will keep her from being stolen away by disreputable young men."
Sarge barked a laugh and smiled at the young woman. "Thank you for the dance, my dove."
She smiled shyly then scowled up at Numair as Musenda left the pair. "I'm not some court floozy. I can take care of myself, thank you!"
The mage smiled warmly at his lover ignoring the outrage in her stormy eyes. "I know, darling," he lifted her hand and kissed the palm tenderly before placing it on his shoulder. "I'm feeling a little possessive tonight. I don't mean to suggest you aren't perfectly capable of refusing any offers you don't desire." Numair slid his hand around her slender waist and pulled her closer than was strictly necessary for the next dance.
"Just make sure you remember that!" Daine said losing some of the fire in her eyes. "I don't know this one," she looked up at him nervously as couples joined them on the floor.
"Then stay close," he whispered taking her other hand in his stroking the skin with his thumb.
In contrast, the next dance was slow and graceful as the dancers turned around the floor. Numair kept a tight hold on Daine, never letting their bodies lose contact as he led her through the steps. She followed him beautifully while they gazed into each other's eyes. Halfway through the dance, the mage started to feel his nerves creep in as he decided, after this dance, he would take her outside and propose. His movements became unmistakably stiffer, and while he didn't stumble or tread on Daine's toes, Numair found it harder to lose himself in the steps.
When the music ended, he kissed the young woman's hand and suggested they go out to the balcony for some air. Some of the college mages had added warming spells on the balcony so couples could step outside without freezing to death in the minus temperatures. Daine and Numair stood by the balustrade admiring the clear night sky while the mage fished out the ring from his pocket. His heart was pounding, and his hands began to sweat while he waited for the next dance to start when most of the couples would leave them alone.
"Are you cold?" the Wildmage looked up at him. "You're trembling."
He brought her fingers to his lips in a soft kiss. "I'm fine."
Daine stepped closer and wrapped an arm around his waist as Numair placed his arm around her shoulders. Having her close did nothing to stop his trembling, if anything it made it worse as the mage clutched the ring in his hand. When the music started for the next dance, he turned slowly and took the young woman's hands in his.
Swallowing nervously, Numair met her gorgeous blue-grey eyes. "Daine, we've known each other for over four years since you saved me from those Stormwings. Over that time, I have come to admire everything about you: your courage in the face of overwhelming danger, your compassion for all those in need, your determination to always do what's right, and of course your curious mind and desire for knowledge. You inspire me to be a better man and I cannot imagine my life without you in it. You've been my student, my dearest friend, my comrade and now my lover. Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"
The Wildmage chewed on her lower lip looking pale. "Can't we – just go on as we have? I mean, things are going well between us, but – I meant what I said before – I'm not ready to marry." Numair felt a fist tightening around his throat. "Can't we just be together because we want to be? I don't want us to be trapped by a marriage that might not be what either of us wants in a few years."
He released her hands swallowing convulsively trying to breathe. Numair couldn't find his voice or even come up with an answer, so he gave a small nod instead.
Daine licked her lips and fidgeted uncomfortably. "We should probably check on Kit. I haven't seen her since we started dancing."
"You go, I'll join you in a moment," the mage replied hoarsely.
The young woman gave him a pensive look before returning to the ballroom. Numair watched her leave feeling as if his heart was breaking inside his chest. He became all too aware of the people still on the balcony as his eyes filled with tears. Calling on his Gift, the mage cloaked himself in an invisibility spell and walked into the gardens. As soon as he left the heat of the warming spell the full force of the freezing cold hit him. For once in his life Numair didn't care about the cold as he collapsed onto a bench, covering his mouth with a hand and broke down in racking sobs while he clutched the ring to his chest.
He wasn't sure how long he'd been crying when a palace dog rounded the corner sniffing until it stopped in front of the mage. Numair scrubbed his face, slipping the ring back into his pocket as he dropped the invisibility shield. The dog wagged its tail and barked to the Wildmage. The mage thought he should probably reconsider the spells he used for his invisibility shield, not to hide from his lover especially, but what was the point of cloaking yourself from sight if your enemy could locate you using other senses? Numair considered speaking with Daine about having the animals help him develop his concealment spells.
"Numair?"
He looked up as the young woman appeared around the corner and offered her a weak smile.
She stopped a few paces away and clasped her hands in front of her shivering. "I was worried where you'd gone off to…"
"Sorry," the mage's voice was still rough from crying.
"Are you coming back inside?"
He nodded and stood, holding out his arm to her. Daine put her arm in his hesitantly trying to catch his eye. Numair stared straight ahead, unable to meet her eyes, as he guided her back inside and straight onto the dancefloor to avoid having to speak with his lover. Luck wasn't with him as the current dance was a group dance where the men kept exchanging partners until he ended up with the woman he started the dance with.
"I thought we weren't joining in the group dances," Daine said softly when they stepped off.
"My mistake," he apologised. She was about to speak when the mage spoke over the top. "Did you find Kitten?"
"Yes – she's with Tkaa –"
"Good, lets join them and see how they're enjoying the evening."
Numair forced a brave smile onto his face and used his friends and the dancefloor as an excuse to avoid speaking with Daine for the rest of the evening. His earlier joy had dissolved as the mage danced formally with his lover, going through the motions, but his heart was no longer in it. The pain of rejection was a raw wound in his heart.
By the end of the evening the pair retrieved a sleeping Kitten from Tkaa and returned to their rooms. Numair left the Wildmage to put the dragonet to bed while he entered his workroom. Taking the ring out of his pocket, he turned the band over in his fingers lost in thought. His desire to propose was entirely selfish and the mage hadn't taken Daine's feelings into account. She had told him over and over that she wasn't ready to settle down and he had still insisted.
"Are you coming to bed?" the young woman asked timidly.
Numair clenched his fist hiding the ring as he turned to look at his lover. "I'll be there in a minute," he said gently.
Daine nodded sadly and headed to the bedroom. The mage looked at the ring again one last time before finding a box on a high shelf and placing the band inside. He closed the lid slowly, shutting away all his desires for permanency and wishes for a family along with the ring itself. Numair replaced the box on a shelf and put a sight shield over it.
Entering the bedroom, he saw Daine had already removed the make-up and was removing the last of the pins from her hair. The mage pulled the tunic over his head tossing it into the wash basket as he started to unbutton his shirt.
"Can you help me with my dress?" the young woman turned, gathering her curls over her shoulder.
Numair carefully and methodically unlaced the dress, squeezing her should once he'd finished. "I'll go into the bathroom and give you some privacy."
His lover was already in bed when the mage entered the bedchamber wearing only his loincloth. He climbed into the bed and held out his arm waiting for Daine to curl into him. The young woman hesitated only a moment before burying herself into his side and clinging to him. Numair wrapped his arms around his lover holding her close as he placed a kiss in her hair.
Daine tilted her head up with overbright eyes. "I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too, sweetling," he replied kissing her tenderly.
