Description: Daine leaves with Onua to go to the fair in Cría while Numair remains in Corus missing his lover desperately.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. Everything belongs to Tamora Pierce.
Author's Note: Yes, I am referencing that line in Lady Knight again. I wanted to give this a slow start, so Numair eventually comes to understand that when Daine isn't around half of him is missing. I'm sorry he's moping again and there's a lot of introspection in this chapter.
When I was reading the quartet, I swear it only mentions the Stormwings feeding off fear but when I read Tortall: A Spy's Guide it said they also feed off anger. That was my inspiration for having something for Numair to discover with his experiments.
Chapter 16
Numair lay in bed panting heavily as his vision slowly returned. Daine smiled at him although she didn't seem happy about something.
"Tonight was supposed to be about you," he objected.
The young woman shrugged as she looked at her hand. "I'll get us a cloth and a clean loincloth for you."
The mage would have protested but she was already climbing out of the bed and heading towards the bathroom. There was something very 'married' about that offer that a lover would never have made. It wasn't unusual for Daine to meet his needs without a second thought, but he had wanted to take care of her when they were intimate not the other way around. She re-entered the bedroom handing him a damp cloth and a clean loincloth as the mage cleaned himself.
The young woman climbed back into bed watching him closely. Numair found himself blushing as her attention focussed on a specific part of his anatomy. It was completely ridiculous for him to still be embarrassed by her interest and yet he still couldn't stop the blush.
"Would you want me to use my mouth on you?" she asked curiously.
The mage stuttered as his mind irresistibly formed the image. "Darling, there is absolutely no rush for you to do anything more than you're comfortable with."
"But you'd like me to…" she wasn't asking a question.
Numair gathered his lover into his arms and lay back on the bed kissing her deeply. "Promise me you'll never do anything because you think it's what I want. Any form of intimacy between us should always be something we both want."
Daine looked like she might argue with him but instead snuggled into his shoulder sighing happily. "Why does nobody ever talk about more'n canoodling? I don't think I've ever heard mention of half the things we've done together."
The mage chuckled huskily as he stroked a hand over her back. "Well, that could be down to a lack of imagination." At the young woman's confused frown, he explained. "I read a lot of medical journals when I was younger, and I've had enough lovers to have picked up a thing or two over the years. I think it rather depends on whether your partner is interested in a quick release or pleasure. The former certainly fulfils a basic need but the latter is far more satisfying."
Daine idly stroked her fingers through his chest hair lost in thought. Numair closed his eyes enjoying the attention as he started to drift off to sleep. "You didn't lose control of your magic tonight," she complained.
The mage laughed softly and kissed her forehead. "That's a good thing."
The look on his lover's face said she disagreed with him entirely on that point. "I like making you lose control."
"You know that it's not meant to happen," he frowned. "I am supposed to be fully in control of my magic."
"But you said you only lose control when you feel strong emotions –"
He cut her off quickly with a kiss. "Daine, I need to work on my control, so this doesn't happen. It's dangerous for my magic to keep escaping like that." The mage wasn't foolish enough to think he'd ever be completely in control around his lover. "It has nothing to do with how much I love you," he explained seeing her disgruntled expression.
They snuggled under the covers as Numair used his Gift to light a fire in the grate. The next morning Daine got her wish as the mage woke to find his lover using her mouth on him and completely lost control of his magic.
As January moved into February, the mage made progress with his Stormwing research. Numair had developed a set of very complex spells that allowed his samples to absorb emotions. The most difficult part of the experiment was to try and induce fear which he knew the Stormwings fed off. His mind resisted most of his attempts to put himself into the most frightening of situations because he knew they weren't real. He knew from his time with Daine that the samples didn't respond to feelings of love or desire, not that he'd expected them to.
When the Wildmage came to retrieve him from his workroom for the midday meal one afternoon she was grinning from ear to ear.
"Onua asked me to go to Cría to with her this year as I wasn't able to go last year," she explained.
Numair felt like someone had just ripped his heart out from his chest. "That was nice of her."
"You could come with us," Daine was practically dancing with joy. "It'd be like that first spring when we all travelled together."
"Darling, it would most certainly not be like that for several reasons, one of those being that we share the same bed now," he said patiently. More than that, the mage still didn't trust himself to be on the road. For almost six months he'd only used his Gift for experimentation and day to day things. Numair knew he would have to venture out at some point to see if his reactions had tempered, but he had no desire to travel in the middle of winter. "I imagine Onua would not appreciate my company on the road."
"We could behave…" She cut off as he gave her an incredulous look.
"So, for at least six weeks you can see the two of us sleeping in separate bedrolls and doing nothing more than sharing the occasional kiss?" he asked.
Daine scowled at him. "Well, when you put it like that…"
"I don't think Their Majesties would authorise their Chief Mage and only Wildmage taking a trip to retrieve the Rider's ponies when Onua is more than capable of doing it by herself," the mage reasoned. "I cannot join you anyway as I'm scheduled to start teaching the pages next month."
"That's right!" the young woman exclaimed. "I promised I'd teach the classes with you."
Numair blinked in confusion. "The last I knew you were only considering it…"
"I told the king months ago I'd assist you. I'll have to apologise to Onua," she said, the disappointment evident on her face.
The mage felt a small thrill run through him at the thought of teaching classes with Daine by his side until he remembered who it was that he loved. Numair would not be responsible for caging the Wildmage in Corus with him. He'd suspected this life wouldn't be enough for her wild spirit. "Don't do that. You should go. You were disappointed last year when we were called to fight in the north."
Daine looked completely at war with herself. "But I promised –"
"You didn't promise me anything, sweetling. You only said you would think about it." The mage wanted to hate himself for every word he spoke, but he needed to do this for her.
"You wouldn't mind?" she asked hopefully.
It was going to kill him to be apart from her for all that time. "You can teach the pages with me when you return."
"I'll miss you." Daine wrapped her arms around his waist gazing up at him with love in her blue-grey eyes.
"So will I." More than he would ever admit. "Are you taking Kitten with you?"
"I didn't think she'd like to be left behind."
"When do you leave?" Numair asked, impressed that his voice sounded steady. To be without his lover and his dragon-daughter for over six weeks…
"Onua wants to go next week as she's worried about the weather," Daine replied practically. "She's thinks it'll be hard travel even on the roads."
The week went by a lot faster than the mage cared for as he put aside his experiment to spend as much time with Daine and Kitten as he could. On the morning they were due to leave, Numair got up at the same time as his lover. He helped her pack up the last few items and carried Kitten down to the stables after they'd had breakfast. The smile he plastered on his face felt horribly forced but the mage was determined to show a supportive face.
"Well, don't you look the picture of happiness this morning," Onua teased when she saw his face.
Numair glared at his friend as he loaded Kitten into her travel bag on Cloud's back giving the dragonet a farewell scratch under her chin.
"Are you sure you won't come with us?" Daine turned to him before mounting her pony.
"You'll barely notice I'm gone," the mage cupped her cheek tenderly. "You'll be far too distracted choosing new ponies and introducing yourself to all the forest animals on the way."
The young woman grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled into a very passionate kiss which he returned in earnest wrapping his arms around her slender waist.
"Enough you two!" Onua called. "Daine, I want to get going before summer arrives."
The mages separated regretfully as Numair stepped back and allowed Daine to mount her mountain pony.
"You'll watch over her, won't you Cloud?" he asked the mare.
The pony snorted and shook her mane.
"She says we'll be just fine and you're to stop fussing," the Wildmage translated with a grin.
The mage smiled and gave Kitten one last scratch. "Be good, sweetheart."
The dragonet chirped as Onua kicked her pony forward and gave him a farewell wave. Numair returned the gesture as Cloud started forward and Daine smiled, blowing him a kiss. The mage swallowed the lump in his throat and touched his lips using a touch of his Gift to replicate the feeling on her lips. His lover grinned and turned her back on him, focussed on where she was going. Numair wondered if this was how Daine's parents had felt when their daughter walked away from them without a backward glance. He stood watching until they rode out of view before entering the stables to see Spots.
When the mage entered his rooms, they felt strangely empty. At this time of day, he would normally still be in bed and Daine would be out in the forest or in the stables, but something still felt like it was missing. Numair decided to bury himself in his workroom to see if his samples would feed of his feelings of despair and loneliness. The mage worked through lunch but by the evening he was starting to feel hungry and knew it was time to stop. He joined Tkaa and Lindhall for the evening meal and let himself get drawn into a magical debate over containment spells. When Numair finally retired to his rooms, he felt the acute sense of loss as he readied himself for bed. Leaving the bedchamber, he relit the fire in the main room and retrieved a book from his study.
The days drifted by slowly and the mage felt like he was living in a daze. For the first couple of nights, he either stayed up reading or returned to his workroom to conduct his experiments but they weren't distracting enough. Numair needed a project he could lose himself in that would completely distract his mind. When neither the king or Harailt of Aili could provide him with a suitable enough challenge for his mind he gave up and decided to write his thesis on wild magic. Avoiding thinking about Daine wasn't making him miss her any less so at least writing about her magic was a way to have her close.
By the end of the first week Numair had slept only two nights in his bed and had either fallen asleep in his workroom or on the couch while reading. He felt exhausted and utterly miserable. During mealtimes and in the evenings the mage sought out the company of either Lindhall or Tkaa but neither of them could fill the hole in his heart that Daine had left. He felt like a part of him was missing and found it hard to concentrate on anything. The only good thing to come of it was his relationship with Zek had improved as the little marmoset seemed to share in his loss for the Wildmage. Zek would join him whenever he entered his rooms and was even comfortable enough to sleep on Daine's pillow at night. He was the only one of the Wildmage's friends who would visit while she was away.
One evening, Numair was retrieving a book from his study when a loud bang sounded from his workroom. The mage dropped his book and sent out a freezing spell while he used his Gift to examine the cause of the problem. His emotion absorbing experiment had detected some very strong emotions and had reacted powerfully. Numair exited his rooms looking around for the cause but there was no one in the teacher's wing. As the mage made his way down the corridor, he could hear sounds of fighting from down the stairs. Quietly he made his way down to see three senior pages, Nealan of Queenscove and the female page in a vicious brawl. Sending out his Gift, the mage froze the pages in mid-strike of each other.
"Such animosity will not do," he scolded lightly. "You managed to affect my current working; if it were to go astray… Except it's not going to, because you are going to drop this and go do whatever it is pages are supposed to do at this time of night. Run along, please."
Numair continued to hold them for an extra beat frowning hard to make his point while he memorised each of their faces so he would know who to give extra assignments to next week.
"Spell," Neal croaked from his frozen position.
"Spell? Oh, yes, of course. How careless," the mage said releasing the pages feigning absent-mindedness. "Now you may go."
He made his way back up the stairs trying to decide if Alanna would be pleased or appalled to know the new female page was getting into fights. None of the pages had seemed frightened only angry which was an interesting avenue to explore. Numair entered his workroom to discover three of his steel samples had tripled in size. The mage spent the night experimenting with emotions of rage and anger with great success. Early the next morning he took his samples to the college and had an excitable day discussing his findings to the other mages.
The second week Numair's afternoons were taken up with teaching the pages, but his evenings were now empty. His experiment was over, and the college was progressing with the next stages of research and development. There were only so many nights a man could go without sleep before he could fight it no longer as Numair crawled into his cold empty bed.
The nightmare started with Onua and Daine walking along the road to Galla when the skies filled with Stormwings. The women instantly armed themselves with their bows and started firing arrows and hurling curses until Ozorne landed on a branch and blasted the pair with magic.
"Veralidaine Sarrasri, what a pleasant surprise," the Immortal taunted.
"What do you want, Ozorne?" Daine demanded angrily.
"Retribution," he snarled. "You destroyed my army and now I will destroy you."
The Wildmage laughed as she got to her feet. "Oh really. I'd like to see you try."
The Stormwing sneered nastily as he swooped down on the young woman and grabbed her with his silver claws, launching them into the sky. Daine beat at Ozorne's face with her fists as his claws dug into her shoulders drawing blood.
"I have a message you can pass onto Arram for me," he hissed.
"There's nothing you've got to say he'd want to hear," the young woman spat at him.
Ozorne grinned evilly. "Your death will suffice."
The Stormwing raised his wings and sliced them across Daine's chest as she screamed. Ozorne cackled with glee as he continued to slice the young woman to ribbons.
The mage woke drenched in sweat and trembling. Nothing about that dream had been rational as Numair scrambled out of bed and grabbed a mirror from the bathroom upsetting Zek. Daine would never have been so defenceless. The People would have risen to defend the Wildmage, she could have shapeshifted, and she was an excellent shot with her bow. With trembling hands, he sat on the bed, flipping open his locket as he pressed a thumb against the smoky-brown curl. Ozorne was also dead, killed by Daine's own hand. An image of his lover appeared in the mirror sleeping peacefully surrounded by rabbits and deer. The mage felt tears slide down his cheeks in relief and chided himself for being such a fool. He knew she was fine, and it was only a dream, but he'd needed to see her. The marmoset crawled onto his lap and whistled a question.
"I'm sorry, Zek. It was just a bad dream," he apologised.
The marmoset squeaked and chattered making the mage smile. He had no idea what he was being asked so he guessed at the monkey's question.
"Daine is fine. I only wanted to see her," he explained pressing his fingers to his lips and using a touch of his Gift.
The young woman stirred slightly and rolled in her sleep mumbling something. Numair smiled softly and climbed back into bed bringing the mirror with him so he could stare at her face as he fell back to sleep.
Midway through the third week the mage returned to his rooms after an appalling lesson with the pages. His intended lesson was supposed to be on illusion runes but one of the students had distracted him and by the end he was explaining about tides in the air. The mage really couldn't keep his thoughts in order with Daine gone and due to lack of sleep. It wasn't the first lesson where he had intended to teach one subject and diverged to talk about another, but this had drifted so far from the original lesson plan Numair knew it had been a disaster. The mage sighed heavily and retrieved his book as Zek jumped onto his shoulder and chirped a greeting. The marmoset offered him a grape as Numair settled into a couple hours of reading before the evening meal.
After an hour the fire flared red, the colour of Onua's Gift, in a request to link a speaking spell. The mage frowned in concern as he reached out with his own Gift to complete the spell. This was a long distance for the K'miri to be trying to contact him and well beyond her normal range.
"Onua, is everything alright?" he asked fretfully.
"There's someone here who wants to talk to you," the K'miri's voice held dry amusement.
"Numair?"
"Daine." His voice cracked with emotion as the sound of his lover's voice brought him more joy than he could describe.
"I thought you'd like to know we arrived here safe," the Wildmage said. "The roads were none too fun to ride on. We've made it early for the fair though. Onua's got us good lodgings – oh, Kit wants to say hello."
There was a series of whistles and chirps that came through the speaking spell.
"Hello, sweetheart. Are you being a good girl?" The mage felt his eyes getting hot.
There was an indignant squawk followed by a trill and more chirps.
Numair smiled even though he hadn't made out what his dragon-daughter had told him. "I have someone here who would also like to say hello."
Zek tilted his head before letting out his own squeaks and whistles.
"You aren't sleeping?" Daine's voice was filled with concern.
The mage glared at the marmoset. What else was Zek telling her? "Not especially well."
"I miss you too," she whispered. "I wish there was a way we could talk like this more often."
Numair cursed silently having wished he'd given her a spelled mirror or speaking stone. The mage had thought about giving her something at the time but didn't think she would want to speak with him every day.
"Alright, I'm not keeping this open for hours to listen to you two talk," Onua teased. "We'll speak to you in a few days, Numair."
The mage blushed when the K'miri disconnected her end of the speaking spell realising he'd barely spoken to Daine. He'd been so overwhelmed that she'd thought to contact him at all. Zek squeaked from his shoulder as Numair stroked a finger over the marmoset's fur.
Daine and Onua contacted him every few days to chat about Cría and the sights. The mage quickly discovered that his lover was missing him as much as he missed her. Numair promised himself that if she ever decided to take a trip again, he would give her a means to contact him. It gave him something to play with in his workroom during the evenings as he needed to crafts spells for an un-Gifted person to activate a speech spell. When Daine returned, he would link it to her specifically so only she could contact him until a thought struck him and the mage thought that he should link it to Kitten too.
Numair's nightmares continued to intensify, tormenting him every time he slept, which he did as rarely as he could manage. They didn't always involve Daine, sometimes he was tortured in the dungeons of Carthak or relived his own execution, but the cruellest of his dreams involved his lover. In one of the worst, he was chained up and forced to watch her go through the same execution that was meant for him. The mage kept a mirror on his bedside table so he could scry for his lover most nights just so he could see her face. Numair couldn't do anything about the lack of sleep, but he made sure to eat regularly, mostly because he knew how much it would upset Daine if he didn't look after himself.
By the end of March, the mage was looking forward to seeing his family again. Daine and Onua had contacted him the previous evening to say they had a good selection of ponies and would be returning to Corus. That night a blizzard lay more than two feet of snow on the ground delaying their return but at least the women were still safe and warm in Cría and not on the road.
The next evening the mage sat by himself for the evening meal feeling despondent. Lindhall was marking papers in his study and Tkaa had been called away to the college to help with a working.
"Would you care for some company, Master Salmalín?" Lady Ysmina Tyfanne addressed him.
She was a noblewoman barely in her twenties newly arrived at court with blonde hair and a very shapely figure. Numair could practically feel Daine's eyes roll at him and had to bite back a smile.
"I'm afraid I am not very good company these days," he apologised politely to the lady wishing to be left in peace.
"All the more reason I should join you," she said sitting opposite him and batting her eyelashes.
The young lady engaged him in empty discussions about the weather and if there were spells to clear the snow to avoid the thick mud that ruined her best dresses and shoes. He tolerated her chatter graciously but tried to finish his supper as quickly as possible.
"We could continue this discussion in my rooms if you'd like?" Lady Ysmina flirted as the mage stood to leave.
"Actually, I believe I shall retire for the night," Numair said hearing the cold edge to his voice.
"Oh, come now. Rumour has it you're courting again," the woman fluttered her eyelashes more enthusiastically at him as she reached out a hand to touch his arm. "Don't tell me you're wasting yourself on that young trollop you used to teach."
The mage's face filled with barely contained fury as his Gift formed an aura around his body. "I would suggest you refrain from speaking about Daine in that manner, lady Tyfanne." His voice was dangerously soft.
The young noblewoman snatched back her trembling hand as she looked into his face. Whatever she saw there had her scurrying away from him at a near run as he spun and exited the now silent dining hall.
"Numair?"
The mage turned as the queen appeared and he bowed to her politely forgetting for a second how much Their Majesties detested people doing that. Since Carthak he couldn't seem to break himself of the habit of genuflecting before the king and queen.
"Is everything alright?" Thayet asked in concern.
"Just fine, Your Majesty," the mage said softly.
"Are you sure?" She was studying his face closely but thankfully didn't look afraid of him. "You looked like you wanted to turn lady Ysmina into something."
Numair bit back an angry retort that was entirely inappropriate to say to his queen. "The lady was under the mistaken impression that I was available for the evening."
Thayet pursed her lips for a moment. "Why don't you join Jon and I at our table tomorrow night?"
He smiled gratefully recognising the offer of protection Her Majesty was giving him from unwanted attention. "I would like that, thank you."
"I'm sure Daine and Onua are just fine," the queen smiled kindly at him.
The mage drew his Gift back inside himself. "They're still in Cría for the time being. The snow has delayed their plans to leave today."
Thayet gave him a knowing look. "I'll let you go then so you can continue scrying."
The mage blushed and bid the queen a good night intending to do just that.
