Cp6.


They have put her in a stretcher and, the true is, she remembered only flashes of it until she finally woke up in a hospital bed. It took her a while to realize she wasn't alone. Someone was by her side. He had his head on his arms resting on the side of my bed. He was sleeping. She carefully touched the back of his head and neck and rubbed gently.

- Elliot...

- Hi there, welcome back.

- How long?

- A few hours. How are you felling?

- It looks like someone beat me up -I managed to laugh. He didn't.

- I... I was so worried, Liv.

- I know. But I am fine now.

- Glad to see you awake already Captain -Doctor said after entering the room- how are you?

- I am fine. When will I be discharged? -Elliot was looking at me with that face of "really?"

- You were actually really lucky Captain. No damage to any organs, yet you lost a lot of blood though. So, I am definitely keeping you here one more night. But my guess is that you could go home tomorrow, ok? I will let you rest now.

- Great. Does Noah know? I need to call him.

- He knows part of it. He is still at his friend's house. Finn has talked to him after you checked in.

- Can you give me my phone? I just need to call him. He needs to listen from me. -And I need to listen his voice.

- Sure. Here... I will be just outside.

- Thank you. For everything.

- Hi Baby girl, you scared the hell of us. How are you felling? -Finn said that holding her hand.

- I am ready to get out of here. -I was ready yesterday.

- Amanda went to get your discharged from hospital.

- How is Alison?

- She is recovering. She will go home in a few days.

- Here, all set. We can go now. -Amanda entered the room showing the papers.

- Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you? -Amanda asked for the third time.

- No, Amanda. I will be fine. I will rest and watch TV, ok? I am almost 100%.

- Ok. But if you need anything, please call me, ok?

- Sure, I will. I promise.

- Ok then.

Shit! It took me a second to breathe again. I was feeling fine, what actually kept me forgetting I had more than 20 stitches on my left side. That wasn't fun. I got my tea and phone and sit on my couch. It is full of messages. I replied to Finn and Amanda first, saying I was fine, again. Then talked with Noah for a min and put my phone down to finish the tea that it was getting cold already. Another message.

"- Hey Partner, how are you doing?"

"- I am fine. Just bored to be at home."

"- Good to hear that. Have you had dinner already?"

"- Nope. I will order some food later. I am not hungry."

"- I will be there in an hour... with food."

He wasn't lying. Around an hour later, he was knocking her door. She took a deep breathe before opening.

- Hi partner. -He said taking the food inside.

- Didn't you buy too much food?

- I am hungry.

- You are always hungry.

- You too when you haven't been stabbed.

- That is true.

- Take a sit. I will bring you food.

I won't argue with that. It is actually not that bad to have someone taking care of her.

- Here -he handed me the plate.

- Thanks.

- How are feeling, Liv?

- I am ok. Ready to get back to work.

- Olivia... you need to rest.

- I am resting. I am tired of resting. -I said as I turned my body to put the plate on the center table and the twinge of pain almost made me drop everything.

- Here, let me take this. -He took the plates and leftovers to the kitchen. I could hear him organizing everything and turning the dishwasher ON before coming back to the couch.

And then, that was it. The elephant in the room. Although they have kept a kind of friend-partner relationship and everything was getting back to "normal", the huge elephant was still in the room with them.

- Liv.. when I was carrying you out of the room and upstairs... you said things. You kept asking me to take you out of there... that he wasn't alive, not after what you did... you said... he didn't rape you. -He was looking at her, hoping she will talk to him.

- Elliot... I... -How could I even start?- Can you grab a glass of wine? I know I shouldn't, but I need it. -Ok, I need to do this now or I will never do it.

- Elliot, I will tell you something. Something that happened after you left. This is hard for me. So, I will ask you to let me talk through it. You will find most of it online anyway.

"- A few years ago, we got a case. A psychopath. The worse one. We kept arresting him and he kept getting free of all charges. After the last time, Cragen sent me home for two days. When I went to my apartment, he was waiting for me. He hit me in the head and knocked me down with his gun. He beat me until I passed out. He kept me in my apartment, tied up on a chair, for two days."

(I started to shake)

"- He forced me to take vodka and pills. No food or water for the whole time. He rip my shirt. He started to touch me, and I head-butted him. He didn't like. He started to put out the cigarettes on me. I passed out."

(I was rubbing my chest now, where the scars were)

"- Then... he turned on the stove. He put my keys on a pan. I woke up with him branding me. For two days, no one came. Brian had a double shift at work and the squad thought I was taking some time off."

(I finished the glass of wine and took a deep breath)

"- Then he decided to take me to another place. He killed a patrol officer with my gun and took me to his lawyer's parent's house. He raped and tortured the lawyer's mother in front of me. He forced me to watch and if I closed my eyes, he burned her. I passed away."

(I had to stop so I could breathe)

"- That was the third day. We ended up on a beach house in Long Island. He handcuffed me to a bed. He climbed over me and kept saying all the things he was going to do with me. Pressing his body against me. He didn't rape me, but he broke me. He got into my head. He asked if I could choose anyone to see before he killed me... who it would be. He talked about my father, my mother and about myself... nothing. Then he talked about a man... maybe a partner and he saw it. What he was looking for. And I confirmed for him, saying you would know what to do with him. How you would hurt him. He laughed. He beat me again, made me beg, made me... made scream you name."

(It was getting hard to breathe and the tears started to fall)

- Liv, breathe. You are barely breathing.

- I just need to finish this.-I was holding his hand now like it was a buoy saving me from drowning.

"- Someone knocked the door. A woman and her daughter. I couldn't do that. So, when he came back, I tried to talk to him. I said he couldn't rape me. That He was weak, and he wasn't able to do it with a strong woman. He got close to the bed and opened his pants. Somehow, I broke free and knocked him down with one of the metal bars from the headboard. I handcuffed him to the bed and told the woman and her daughter to run away from that place. To not tell anyone what happened. I came back to the bedroom. I should have called for backup. I didn't do it. I told him everything you would do to him. He laughed and told me to do something and shut up. I beat him. Pretty bad. Over and over again, until I was weak enough to hold the bar. I thought he was dead when I finished. Then, I called for backup."

- Liv, I... am so sorry. I didn't know. I...

- I was angry with you for long time. I mean, everybody knew. Then, when Lewis came back, I thought that there was no way you wouldn't come back if you knew it. -I saw his face changing.- Yes, El. He was back.

"- He made to the trial, he assaulted me again when he defended himself and put me on the Court's bench. He was sentenced, locked in jail. But, of course, he escaped from prison. He kidnapped a girl and sent me a text to meet him. He took us to an abandoned building and duct taped me to a table. Then, he…"

- It is ok Liv. if you want to stop...

- No, I need to finish it. I need more wine too. -After half of the glass I started over.

"- He took down my jeans… He came up behind me and rubbed himself against me, running his hands over my body. I really thought he was going to rape me. Then, I told the girl to look away."

(Tears started to fall again. He had his hand on my leg and then he grabbed my hand.)

"- He didn't do it. He took his gun, took all the bullets out and put one back. "Game time", he said. Russian roulette. The squad got to the building. He then started to transmit his sick game on the radio to everybody. At the end, it was one bullet left and it was my turn. He hold my hand with the gun and said He was going to be the last thing I would remember."

(Elliot pressed my hand with his)

"- Then… he shot himself."

(I finished my glass of wine. At that point, I could go for the whole bottle.)

- Olivia. I... I will never forgive myself for not being there for you. Never. -He had tears falling now too.

- Elliot, don't.

His look was killing me. I wanted to hug him, to reach for him, but I didn't want to start crying again. So, I got up. I decided to put some distance between us. He got up too and pulled me closer to him. He hugged me, holding me with his arms. I allowed myself to cry. Those tears had a felling of conclusion or something like that. It felt I took a weight off my chest.

- On that day, when you and my kids tried an intervention… - I could feel he was smiling… until he stopped. It took a second for him to continue- ... and I said that I loved you… I meant it, Liv. -He said, his face into my hair.- I has always loved you.

- Elliot, please, don't do this. -I tried to put some distance pushing him away. He didn't let me go.

- Liv.. -He touched my face, moving his hand to my chin, so he could look me in the eyes- My friend Olivia... -He slowly moved my hair away from my face. They were closer enough.- Thank you for trusting me, for talking to me. -He got even closer- I promise you, Liv. I won't leave your side ever again. You can count on me... for everything. -Then he kissed my forehead- Because this is what partners do... -then he kissed my cheek where a tear had fallen- What friends do... -then he kissed my other cheek and looked deeply inside my eyes.- What people who love each other do. And I love you, Olivia Benson.

Then He kissed her lips. A kiss with tenderness and, at the same time, full of passion, full of need. She won't lie and say she hasn't imagined this many times back in the past. But this… this was… more. More than she has waited for. More than she could ever imagined and, somehow, it felt right. She kissed him back, letting him hold her until there was no space left between them. After all, everything felt just right.