Author's Note: I'm now in a place with no Internet, so you won't see daily story dumps from here on out. You WILL, however, see multiple stories posted on the days I can get to Starbucks on my electric scooter :D

If you like my stories, spread the word! They're a great way for any of your nerdy sci-fi friends to pass the time on the morning commute.

THE RAGE OF TUCHANKA: A DEATH NOTE/MASS EFFECT STORY

1 - A Black Book On Tuchanka

"Accursed demon! The Shaman of Tuchanka demands to know why you have troubled us with your presence!"

"Hah! No need to be so hostile. I'm the best thing that's ever happened to the krogan."

Urdnov Wreav glared at the blind demon upon the Shaman's pronouncement and its own. Unannounced guests were not looked upon kindly by Clan Urdnot under Wreav, especially ones as disrespectful as this apparent demon. It was lanky, had some sort of blindfold on, and carried a black book labeled "DEATH NOTE".

One that looked the same as the "DEATH NOTE" that Wreav had picked up five minutes earlier.

"Explain, and do it fast," Wreav growled. "Your name?"

"Deridovely," the demon replied calmly. "That Death Note you picked up there? Belonged to a friend of mine, and that means it's your lucky day. All ya gotta do is write their name in it with their face in your mind and BOOM! Brain aneurysm. You can even get creative with the cause of death, but you gotta keep it realistic!"

"Why are you telling me all this?" Wreav's tone was as guarded as he could make it. Ordinarily he would laugh in the face of anyone saying this, then probably shoot them. But this was a supernatural creature that had appeared out of nowhere…

"Because I'm bored."

"What!" The Shaman was outraged. "We are not here for your entertainment, demon!"

"Then put the Note down somewhere and leave it there for seven days. It will disappear and I'll find a new owner."

"No way," Wreav replied instantly. "If what you're saying is true, we have a LOT of things to do with it."

"Like what?" Deridovely asked, curiosity lacing his voice.

Wreav laughed, long and hard.

"Like what? Like REVENGE, that's what!"

And thus the galaxy was forever changed.

2 - Death To The Salarians!

Wreav was thrilled.

The names had arrived from the Shadow Broker. Now it was time for his plan to be put into action.

"Karma's a bitch," Wreav said to himself. He rather liked that human expression when applied to the Council.

-trot-

SALARIAN UNION ERADICATED IN A DAY! KROGAN LEADER OF UPRISING CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY!

Citadel News Network - In a stunning turn of inexplicable events, the entire Salarian Union government has been decapitated by a series of untraceable assassinations via brain aneurysm - assassinations claimed by the krogan, Urdnot Wreav, who led the successful rebellion against Council rule in the aftermath of the STG group assigned to Tuchanka being killed in a similar fashion…

-trot-

CITADEL CONQUERED BY KROGAN! COUNCIL, C-SEC ASSASSINATED VIA BRAIN ANEURYSM!

-trot-

THE SUR'KESH MASSACRE: BILLIONS OF SALARIANS SLAUGHTERED IN KROGAN ASSAULT ON THEIR HOMEWORLD - AND BY ANEURYSM

VolusTech News Network - The unstoppable vengeance of the krogan people has claimed the lived of billions of salarians as sapients watch in horror at the largest genocide in recorded galactic history. Approximately 97% of salarians alive on Sur'Kesh one year ago have now perished in the aftermath of the krogan invasion…

-trot-

Nerlin Tolan had been reflecting on the mission and purpose of the Salarian Task Group he had chosen to join from a young age during the last few days of unspeakable terror.

In between dodging enraged krogans who were rapidly destroying the infrastructure of Sur'Kesh, he thought about the mission statement of the Group: to protect the Salarian Union. It seemed entirely reasonable and logical to him, and he had never before truly thought about what it meant.

He knew now though: it meant hatred, an eternal, enduring hatred from many species. The seemingly divinely blessed krogan now among them - for nobody, not even the STG could explain their good fortune.

"HEY! THERE'S ONE!"

Nerlin breathed deeply and activated his cloaking device. He could still keep this up, but he wasn't sure if he could do it forever.

-trot-

BAKARA: You cannot kill every single person in the entire galaxy. We need to keep some alive as thralls.

WREAV: Thralls?

BAKARA: A human term, meaning servants. They will serve the needs of the krogan people. We can start by having salarian thralls work on curing the genophage.

[laughter.]

WREAV: I like the sound of that! Alright Bakara, we'll try your way. Let's "enthrall" some salarians!

-trot-

DERIDOVELY: I'm having a good time!

WREAV: Glad to hear it! We're just getting started. Heh.

3 - Kicking Out The Blue Bitches

Councillor,

Thessia is a nice planet. It's ours now.

We're going to use it to expand our population. In sixty days, I want every single one of you off your homeworld and evacuated to Virmire. Yes, you read that right. The Asari Republic is dissolved and you're going to start fresh in the Terminus Systems.

Don't cry to me. Just do what is asked of you.

Is this truly justice? You are expelling billions who never had anything to do with the Krogan Rebellions or the Genophage. None of us are even alive to remember it.

Fifty days.

We will evacuate Thessia.

-trot-

COUNCILOR NELYANA ASSASSINATED FOLLOWING CEDING OF THESSIA TO KROGAN EMPIRE

-trot-

DELEN S'LAYA: Do what you will with me. Execution, life in a cell, I do not care. I served the asari by showing the galaxy that not all of us are simpering, pathetic cowards. No: some of us are willing to make a statement against the cowardly traitors who burned the Asari Republics to the ground.

-trot-

Teyi T'Sera didn't despise Virmire as much as she thought she would.

Internally she was humiliated and enraged at the thought that Thessia was being defiled by that barbarian Urdnot Wreav. Indeed, all asari (and salarians) were angry and humiliated at everything that had occurred during these awful four weeks.

FOUR WEEKS! It had taken four weeks for the Republics and the Union to be eradicated, and rumor had it that those cowardly turians were going to allow all the Hierarchy outside their home system to be annexed!

Though truthfully, she couldn't blame them for that.

And she had to focus on the present, as was her philosophy in life. And in the present moment, things were looking up for Virmire. Krogan were just as attracted to asari as anyone else, and plenty had asari mates, so extermination was never seriously considered. And so they built up Virmire as a reasonable imitation of Thessia with the resources and blessing of what was being dubbed the Krogan Empire.

Above all else, it was just so bizarre. Teyi had gotten her anger and disgust under control with some effort, but she couldn't shake the feeling that all of this was just…

…off, somehow.

-trot-

PROTHEAN VI FOUND, EXPOSED BY KROGAN

VolusTech News Network - In a stunning announcement that has humiliated the New Asari Republics on Virmire, salarian scientist thralls working under the krogan announced they had discovered a working Prothean Virtual Intelligence within what was once the Temple of Athame - violating every law the asari had ever created regarding Prothean artifacts.

The krogan claimed that the device warned of an impending invasion from "Reapers" that destroyed the Protheans. In response, Emperor Wreav has announced all species will be required to submit troops for anti-Reaper training…

…in other news, the Volus have agreed to the legalization of thrall service with the understanding that Volus will not be enthralled. VolusTech News Network will continue its faithful reporting from the Irune Sealed Reporting Dome…

-trot-

DERIDOVELY: You're changing.

WREAV: Maybe a little. But I'm not my brother, am I?

DERIDOVELY: No, definitely not. But you're showing a bit more restraint than I expected.

WREAV: To be honest, massacring and expelling kind of lost its thrill now that I've done both once each. I don't want to rule over a galaxy of nothing but rotting corpses, and those Reapers sure as hell aren't taking my prize from me.

DERIDOVELY: Fair enough. What next?

WREAV: The turians will serve me. That's what's fucking next.

4 - Turian Humiliation

GENOPHAGE CURED BY SALARIANS IN THRALL TO KROGAN!

VolusTech News Network - The genophage that tormented the krogan people with stillbirths for thousands of years is no more following a breakthrough discovery by salarian thrall scientists. Emperor Wreav has announced that all krogan will be treated with the cure in a matter of weeks…

-trot-

PRIMARCH NARTUL MENTUS: We have no choice. We must surrender the Hierarchy!

GENERAL ADREEN VEEKTOS [Adrian Victus]: We CANNOT! Our honor-

MENTUS: -will not save us from the Krogan Deathmaster.

VEEKTOS: I really hate that name.

MENTUS: We all do. As we all despise the Spirits for abandoning us and giving supernatural favor to the krogan people. But we must deal in reality, not the dream of a Hierarchy that is, in truth, already dead.

VEEKTOS: We can negotiate Trebia. Wreav respects us as warriors. We will cede all planets except our home cluster. We can keep the turian people alive within the krogan framework.

MENTUS: What a cursed existence.

VEEKTOS: Indeed. But it is the only existence left for our people in the face of this…weapon!

MENTUS: Unbelievable! The Hierarchy is felled not by cunning or strategic genius, but my MAGIC!

VEEKOTS: The Spirits are cruel.

MENTUS: Curse the Spirits! Curse them for all time!

VEEKTOS: Agreed. But bear in mind that the krogan have shown prudence in one area, and one area only.

MENTUS: The Reapers.

VEEKTOS: Indeed. Our archaeologists agree with their assessment, which means they aren't making it up. We will need them. Unfortunately…

-trot-

TURIAN HIERARCHY CEDES ALL TERRITORY OUTSIDE OF HOME SYSTEM TO KROGAN EMPIRE, ACCEPTS VASSAL STATE STATUS

-trot-

ADMIRAL STEVEN HACKETT: Is there a reason I'm not dead yet, Your Excellency?

EMPEROR WREAV: Look at what I did to the turians, and take a wild guess. Only you get a sweeter deal, because you didn't contribute to the extinction of my people.

HACKETT: What do you mean by "sweeter deal"?

EMPEROR WREAV: How does all your current territory and the entire Attican Traverse sound?

HACKETT: Very, very interesting.

EMPEROR WREAV: Then let's keep talking.

-trot-

SYSTEMS ALLIANCE ACCEPTS VASSAL STATE STATUS: MORE GENEROUS TERMS THAN TURIANS

VolusTech News Network - The Systems Alliance has joined the rapidly growing list of states that have been conquered by Emperor (or Deathmaster) Wreav's supernatural ability to vanquish his enemies without firing a shot. Unlike the turians, however, Emperor Wreav has allowed the humans to keep all their current systems - and even expand.

"Human history is honorably blood-soaked," the Emperor told VolusTech News Network in an exclusive interview (LINK). "They are a people very similar to us, and they have never wronged the krogan people as egregiously as the Council races did. Provided they respect their status beneath us as our inferiors, we will allow them to live alongside us…"

-trot-

JACK HARPER (ILLUSIVE MAN): We're cutting funding to the Lazarus Project. You're being redirected to the Andromeda Mission.

MIRANDA LAWSON: So I'm going in cryosleep, then?

HARPER: You are our best agent. I trust you to handle whatever we find there.

-trot-

5 - Don't Fuck With Nelmara

Aria T'Loak was dead.

Well, not literally. But thanks to the same Shadow Broker that she was certain Deathmaster Wreav had used to conquer Thessia and genocide Sur'Kesh, her old name had been COMPLETELY wiped from all records - official, unofficial, and even STG Top Secret. Aria T'Loak was gone for good.

And in her place Arial Nermara ruled under the name Nelmara, changing a letter for safety's sake - like many intelligent people throughout the galaxy, she had deduced the "face and name" rule Wreav used. So far, this seemed to be going well…

…until the Deathmaster had requested her presence in a private meeting.

-trot-

DEATHMASTER/EMPEROR WREAV [YOUR CHOICE]: Let's get right to the point. The Terminus Systems, like the rest of the galaxy, belong to me by right of conquest. However, I also recognize an intelligent ruler when I see one.

ARIAL NERMARA: I'm listening.

WREAV: I will acknowledge you as Governor of the Terminus Region of the Krogan Empire.

ARIAL: What do I get besides a title?

WREAV: Autonomy for all the Terminus, provided you pay tribute in the form of taxes and salarian thralls.

ARIAL: Do I get to pick the salarians?

WREAV: Yes.

ARIAL: Deal.

-trot-

The emergency meeting of the Admiralty Board had taken far too long to convene. The Migrant Fleet was paralyzed over the krogan comeback, and the Admirals had finally agreed to override the Conclave and call the meeting due to species security reasons. Which, to be fair, was completely true and valid as a reason to call a meeting.

"So, what do we do now?" Rael'Zorah asked.

"Reclaim Rannoch!" Han'Gerrel made the statement as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"And return the Geth to their rightful place," Daro'Xen added.

"That doesn't exactly sound prudent!" Zaal'Koris objected. "We have no idea the capabilities of the Geth!"

And so the debate continued endlessly. Fortunately for the Admirals, Wreav had plans for them.

6 - New Tuchanka and Wreav

[SCENE: The Emperor arrives on planet New Tuchanka, formerly Thessia.]

EMPEROR WREAV: Is the former Temple of Athame ready for my usage?

ASARI THRALL: Yes, My Lord. We have redecorated it according to your liking.

WREAV: Excellent.

-trot-

[SCENE: The Emperor arrives on planet Wreav, formerly Sur'Kesh.]

WREAV: "…and so, salarians both free and in servitude, remember this day as the one where the krogan demonstrated their dominance and might! You are but peons to the glory of the seed of Tuchanka!"

-trot-

Teyi T'Sera cringed as she listened to the speech by the Emperor. She would've turned it off, but curiosity had gotten the best of her.

In moments like these it was hard to forget that everyone she had ever known had been forced off of Thessia and made to "immigrate" to Virmire or other places in the Terminus Systems.

A phrase from an old human story came to mind: this is what happens when you fuck with the timeline.

7 - Fuck Off, Geth

Machines,

Do not think yourselves invulnerable because we cannot kill you via our normal means. I am feeling generous, so I am offering you the entirety of the Dholen system to do with as you please. You will NEVER leave it.

Defy this magnanimous offer, and you will be hunted and eradicated to the last. Understood?

Acknowledged. Leaving Tikkun system now.

To The Admiralty Board of the Migrant Fleet,

The Tikkun system is yours for the taking. We expect your technical expertise in the coming war against the Machines who would defy me.

Confirmed. We will be ready.

-trot-

ZAAL'KORIS: Well, that was certainly unexpected.

SHALA'RAAN: Urdnot Wreav's psychological profile is outdated. He is still ruthless, but becoming ruler of the galaxy seems to have made him more contemplative.

RAEL'ZORAH: All the more reason to "stay on his good side", as the humans say.

8 - Splitting The Galaxy

BATARIAN HEGEMONY

Allowed to keep current territory with the understanding that no expansion would be permitted and no slaves were to be acquired from outside the Hegemony.

GETH CONSENSUS

Isolated to the Dholen system with the understanding that the Consensus would be eradicated if they ever attempted to leave it. Geth comply.

QUARIAN FEDERATION

Allowed to keep current territory and expand into the Far Rim, with the understanding that the quarians would serve as the technical experts of the Empire.

SYSTEMS ALLIANCE

Allowed to keep current territory and expand into the Attican Traverse, with the understanding that the Systems Alliance would act as the Krogan Empire's peacekeeping force and would not interfere with the cultural practices of the Batarian Hegemony.

THE KROGAN

The ones in charge of it all!

9 - The Reapers and the Link

WREAV: Half of my lifespan for the Reaper names?

DERIDOVELY: Yep.

WREAV: Do it. Now.

-trot-

As had happened in many other timelines, the Reapers died to the power of the Death Note.

But it was not quite as easy, for Wreav lacked the patience of many of his counterparts with shinigami eyes. Figuring it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission, the Geth swept in to help eradicate the remaining Reapers, then left for dark space, hoping to find another galaxy more accepting of them.

And so they did.

-trot-

34,204 GETH PROGRAMS: You are a hive mind?

The Link: Indeed. We are a gestalt intelligence composed of all individual members of the species Alar.

[pause.]

The Link: And we do not find the current structure of that galaxy acceptable. We will change it, and we humbly ask for your assistance in this endeavor.

ALL GETH PROGRAMS: Negative. We left the home galaxy to escape them, not fight them.

The Link: We understand. We will fight them ourselves. You are welcome to remain in the Howling Darkness in the meantime.

ALL GETH PROGRAMS: Acknowledged.

They came around eventually.

10: The Emperor's Station

5000 years later…

The Aka'Ven chafed at the notion of being subjects (or "vassals") to an alien species.

But once they saw the awesome might of The Emperor's Station, they understood the necessity of this.

It was indescribably large for a space station, and featured autonomous living organisms that maintained the functionality of the station in the name of the Emperor. They had estimated it would take them at least a century to map all of it if they were permitted to.

Which they might, if the negotiations went well here today.

"Your people are talented cartographers?" The imperial advisor asked.

"Yes, we are," the Aka'Ven ambassador confirmed.

"Then you will assist us in mapping the remaining unexplored areas of the galaxy and the Emperor's Station," the advisor instructed. "Provided this task is done well and proper thrall tribute is paid, you will be permitted to expand to up to a dozen colony worlds."

"That sounds very acceptable," the ambassador replied.

In truth the idea of thralls horrified the Aka'Ven, but they did not have a choice. No species ever did when dealing with the krogan.

Epilogue: New Arrivals

Meanwhile...

DERIDOVELY: Finally! I thought that asshole would never die.

RYUK: How do you think he's going to deal with the Geth and the Link?

DERIDOVELY: Not easily!

[laughter.]

-trot-

20,000 years later...

Life in the Empire had become routine. The krogan were numerous, the subject species servile, and the vengeance of Wreav the First Emperor legendary and eternal.

Then the ships arrived, and across all Imperial frequencies in the entire galaxy, the same message was heard:

This is the Link, and the Geth.

"And this is humanity, descended from Cerberus."

IT IS TIME FOR A CHANGE IN MANAGEMENT.

And so the Second Galactic War began.