Title: Carry-on Weapons
A/N: For the Bananafish Happy Endings zine! I love Shorter and had to write something with him and Ash.
Summary: Shorter should have expected something to go wrong. This was Ash, after all, and for all his charm, it was impossible to go anywhere with him without landing into trouble. Even if that somewhere was Japan, visiting Eiji.
He just didn't expect this much trouble.
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Truthfully, Shorter had expected something to go wrong, if only because Ash was there. For a man who was capable smoothening out any situation with a smile and wink, he was too often the source of those situations. Why would their first trip to Japan be any different? Eiji had tried to account for everything, booking tickets and checking what they packed, but there was only so much damage control he could do via phone. Same went for Max with his texts and emails on airport etiquette and laws. They had both tried their best, but Shorter had known it wouldn't be smooth sailing. That wasn't the kind of man Ash was. It wasn't the kind of man Shorter was, either; life was too boring otherwise.
Still, even in his wildest guesses, he had never thought of the scene playing out before him. The second Ash stepped through the metal detector, it beeped. A simple sound heralding a future chaos. Shorter pulled off his sunglasses as he watched Ash follow the security guard to the side.
"Do you have a belt?" the heavyset, middle-aged man asked, pulling out a white plastic bucket. His bluish gray uniform that didn't look like it fit right, too loose in some parts and too tight in others. A small nametag identified him as Sam.
"No." Ash snorted irreverently, gesturing at his tight jeans. With his hoodie off, it was clear he wasn't even wearing any jewellery. "Do I look like I need one?"
Shorter winced. He couldn't say he hadn't expected that; Ash didn't know when to shut up on a good day.
Luckily, Sam didn't look annoyed, just apathetic. With a bored expression, he brandished a small, hand-sized metal detector and gestured at Ash's pockets. "Coins? Hairclips?
Ash smirked and shook his hips. Of course he had to pick the most antagonistic way to respond. When had he ever taken the easy route? "Hear anything? Want me to dance too?"
Sam rolled his eyes. This was clearly another Monday morning for him. Stepping back, he grabbed an empty bin from the end of the x-ray conveyor belt and ordered, "Alright wise guy, spread your arms and legs."
"Just remember to look, not touch," Ash snarked, blowing a kiss before complying.
"Come on, Ash!" Shorter grumbled, unable to hold it in any longer. Ignoring the other security guard's protests, he walked through the metal detector. "We don't have to fight every—"
The metal detector chimed again and Shorter swallowed, looking up at the bright red light. Whoops.
Sam sighed and gestured at him to stand beside Ash. "I might as well do both of you at once. Any belts? Coins?" He shook the bin in front of Shorter.
"Fuck," Shorter swore softly as he begrudgingly complied. Standing next to Ash, he spread his limbs. "No."
"You couldn't wait your turn?" Ash muttered, his eyes sparkling mischievously.
"I'm glad you're having fun," Shorter growled, shooting him an irritated glare.
Without a hint of contrition, Ash shrugged. "One of us has to."
"Keep still," Sam ordered, waving the metallic wand over Ash. As it reached his hip, it beeped. "I thought your pants were empty?" He held out the bin. "Put it in."
"I didn't say that." Ash reached down, pulling out his knife. He twirled it between his fingers as Sam's jaw dropped. "You just didn't ask."
As the it dangled in front of him tauntingly, Sam regathered his wits. He grabbed the weapon warily from Ash's open hand and a shiver ran up his arm at contact with the cold metal. Brandishing his detector like a shield, he barked, "Weapons are illegal."
"Huh?" Ash frowned, not believing it. He reached for his knife, his jaw tightening when Sam stepped further back. "It's just a pocketknife! You can't even call that a weapon."
"Oh." Something about this sounded familiar. Vaguely, Shorter recalled a line from one of Max's messages. Something about blades—maybe he should have actually read them through. Bumping his shoulder against Ash's, he shook his head. "I think this is what Max was talking about earlier."
"What do you mean?" Ash asked, looking utterly perplexed. He must have ignored the emails too. Shorter silently apologized to Max; the man knew what he was doing sometimes.
"He said something about the airport rules changing." Shorter shrugged. Next time, he'd pay attention. Probably. "I guess they don't allow knives anymore?"
"Did you live under a rock?" Sam looked at them incredulously. On the bright side, he clearly didn't view them as a threat anymore, just as a pair of stupid teens as he stepped closer now, holding out the bin. "We don't allow weapons at all anymore. All blades and other weapons have to be dropped in here."
"Seriously?" Ash scrunched his nose, his shoulders hunching defensively.
Shorter had seen that look before. He knew exactly what it meant and if they didn't have a plane to catch, he would have been fine letting it happen. He grabbed Ash's shoulder. "Ash—"
He jerked away, his lips curling as he snarled, "Like I'm going to give up—"
"Ash!" Shorter glared at him, tightening his grip. "You want to keep Eiji waiting?"
As usual, just the mere mention of Eiji's name caused an instantaneous reaction. Ash stilled. After a moment, he glanced at Sam, at Shorter, and then relaxed. He pouted, his cheeks puffing just like Eiji's did, and it was good to see that Eiji was rubbing off on Ash instead of just the other way around. Grabbing the bin, Ash grumbled, "Fine, but I better get these back."
"We will dispo—" Ash glared at Sam and he stepped back. Looking away, he mumbled, "We'll see what we can do."
"Good, I wouldn't want to lose my collection," Shorter joked, digging into his pockets for his blades and darts. He wasn't sure what counted as a weapon these days, but he wasn't going to take any chances.
"You brought your own darts?" Ash asked as he plucked a razorblade from his sleeve.
"Hey, it's a long flight. I didn't want to get bored," Shorter defended himself. He dropped a pair of scissors into the bucket.
"Where would we have room to play?" Ash asked, rolling his eyes as he pulled a metal spike from behind his ear.
Sam stared at the bucket, now overflowing, and raised his walkie-talkie. "Hey, guys? I think we have a situation here."
-x-
Eiji's handwriting was surprisingly messy. His words were small and cramped, as though he had a million words he wanted to write and didn't have enough room to put it all. Ash had noticed it in his letters, a surprisingly old-fashioned way of communicating, and he noticed it now in the itinerary and guidebooks Eiji had mailed over. The margins were filled with little notes and Ash regretted not bringing a magnifying lens. He could barely read it all.
"What're you smiling about?" Shorter asked, slipping off his headphones for the first time since the flight started. In front of him, on a tiny screen, a young Jackie Chan leaped off scaffolding.
"Oh, now you want to talk?" Ash asked instead, carefully folding the papers. Unlike the rest of his gang, Shorter didn't know when to back down. Even worse, he was oddly perceptive about it all. "I thought you were watching a movie?"
"Yeah, I tried," Shorter grumbled, pulling off the shitty headphones the plane had provided them. He gestured at the screen, which now held a warning about turbulence instead of the movie. "Except that keeps happening. Every single time the plane shakes, it's 'warning!'. Can barely make it through five minutes without the thing freezing."
Ash grimaced. The screen was tiny as is. That just made it unwatchable. "That's stupid."
"And these headphones are so bad, I can barely hear the movie," Shorter added, clearly on a roll. He gestured at the bottom of the screen, barely visible beyond the warning sign. "Subtitles! I have to use subtitles!"
"You shoulda just brought your tablet, at least you wouldn't get interrupted there." Ash pointed out, chuckling.
"I did." Shorter looked away, his ears red with embarrassment. "I forgot to charge it."
"Stupid," Ash insulted, unable to stop himself.
It was a mistake. Shorter snapped his head back, ready to argue out of sheer boredom when he noticed the itinerary once more. Immediately, the fire left him, and he leaned over curiously. "I could read that."
The itinerary was for both of them. Eiji had even left notes for Shorter in it.
Ash instinctively yanked the paper away. He held it tightly on his right side, as close to the aisle as he dared. The only good thing about them having a pair of window seats was that no one else would get disturbed with them fighting. "No."
Another mistake. A sly smile grew on Shorter's face. Resting one hand on the armrest, he reached out with the other one. "Come on, share it! What'd Eiji say?"
"He said to get your own entertainment," Ash growled back, pushing Shorter's face away with his free hand. "Go read the guidebooks or something."
"Those are thick!" Shorter whined, shifting his head so his cheek got the full brunt of Ash's hand. Which was good; it felt really disgusting when someone talked on his skin and Ash didn't want Shorter to spit on him. "This is smaller."
"Learn to read," Ash snapped, shoving Shorter's face harder. He should have come on this trip alone. Or with someone who could take a hint.
Shorter leaned closer, blindly groping for the paper now. "I can learn with that—"
"Gentlemen, is there a problem?"
Ash froze. He could feel Shorter stiffen at the same time. Slowly, they both looked up to find a short stewardess smiling politely at them. Or maybe politely wasn't the word—there was a scary aura behind her expression. Despite the fact that she was a red-headed American and looked nothing like Shorter's sister, Ash could almost see Nadia standing before him.
It was enough to make him swallow. "There's none."
Shorter immediately disentangled, seeing it too. He sat up straight in his seat. Ash tried not to laugh. "Nope."
"Good." The woman continued to smile at them, all knife-like and sharp edges. She clasped her hands behind her and cocked her head. "If you need anything, don't be afraid to call. Do enjoy your peaceful, quiet flight."
Any answer other than a yes meant immediate execution. They both nodded quickly. Giving them one last look, the stewardess turned around and returned to her duties.
"I thought we couldn't bring weapons on the plane?" Shorter mumbled, slumping in his seat the second she was out of sight.
Ashe laughed. As he relaxed his tense muscles, he pocketed the itinerary before Shorter could remember what they were arguing about. "I thought Nadia had snuck on the plane."
"Oh, god no." Shorter shivered and he tugged his jacket around him tighter. "Could you imagine?"
"What if they met?" Ash teased, unable to resist.
Shorter immediately paled. "Don't jinx it."
Maybe it wasn't that bad traveling with Shorter after all.
-x-
Eiji stared up at the large tv screens, row after row filled with different flight information. It wasn't too hard to find the one he wanted—he'd memorized the flight number after the hundredth time he'd double-checked Ash's text. In green, the board announced that the flight had landed.
Still, he checked the time on the screen and on his watch and compared the flight number once more to the text. Yes, this was the time the plane was supposed to arrive. Yes, that was the right plane number. No, it didn't seem like there were any issues with the flight.
It was all a good thing.
Somehow, Eiji couldn't shake off the feeling that something had gone horribly wrong. It was hard not to, after the months he'd spent in America last year, running from mob bosses and drug dealers. Even now, safe in Japan, he couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching him. It was a feeling he was told would pass with time.
Taking a deep breath, Eiji walked toward the arrival's section of the airport. There was no point in thinking about it now. If Shorter or Ash had any issues, he'd find out as soon as they walked out. Or, maybe not if they got arrested by security or immigration or—
A flash of blonde and purple left the doors and Eiji stopped thinking as he caught sight of his two friends. They were squabbling again, though it looked more good-natured than an actual issue. Shorter was wearing a jean vest, his dress casual as he pulled his big suitcase behind him. As for Ash…
Eiji wasn't sure how he managed to look even more handsome every time they saw each other. Honestly, if Ash ever went into the modeling business, he'd be a megastar in weeks, maybe even days. Even his button-down shirt and pants somehow managed to not look casual and instead almost fancy.
Tongue-tied, he watched as the pair walked down the ramp into the open waiting room. Shorter noticed him first, elbowing Ash before waving. "Eiji!"
Ash looked up, his bright blue eyes meeting Eiji's before he smiled. He looked more relaxed than he had before and Eiji's heart ached. "Hey."
"Oh, how cool," Shorter muttered, rolling his eyes. "Like you weren't reading his notes for hours."
Ash flushed lightly and that was all it took for Eiji to shake out of his stupor. Jogging over, he beamed at the pair. "You made it!"
"Barely! Did you wait long?" Shorter asked, letting go of his suitcase to give him a side-hug. Their heads knocked slightly, but Eiji couldn't complain. He'd missed Shorter's hugs.
"Not really," Eiji lied. They didn't have to know how early he'd come. "There weren't any issues? The flight was fine?"
"What are you, my mom?" Ash teased with a devilish smirk. "It was fine."
"If you don't count the trouble," Shorter mumbled, paling slightly. Before Eiji could ask, he let go and grabbed his suitcase again. "Can we get some grub? I'm starving."
Ash snorted. "You're always hungry."
"So?" Shorter barked, rolling his eyes. "The plane food sucked."
"Are you tired?" Eiji asked, looking at their suitcases. Before he could grab one, Shorter and Ash had their hands firmly on the handles.
"Not really, we slept on the way." Ash shrugged. "Well, tried to—someone kept snoring."
"Sorry, princess." Shorter tugged his suitcase to stand on Eiji's other side, clearly having enough of his companion. "Buy some earplugs next time."
"Do you need—" Ash's carry-on jingled as he stepped forward, and immediately Shorter and Ash both shut up and stared at it.
Eijij stared at it too. That sound had been slightly metallic. The last time he'd heard that much metal was when he'd moved one of Ash's or Max's weapons bags. "Hey, what was—"
"Nothing," Shorter and Ash said at the same time.
Eiji gave them a flat look. "Nothing?"
"Nothing," Ash confirmed, wrapping an arm around Eiji. "Now, where are we eating?"
It was such an obvious attempt to distract him. Unfortunately, his arm was also warm and Eiji's brain always stopped working when they were this close. Unsettled, he gave the suitcase one last, lingering look, before turning away. "Mom made some croquettes, if you want."
Surely, whatever they were carrying couldn't be that bad. They were on vacation, after all.
Just how much trouble could they get in?
