Thank You, Heavenly
Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day
SEASON 0
EPISODE 1
Air Date: October 16, 2022
"Cruel Summer" (rewritten version of "Isn't Summer the Worst?"; second episode of season one of Thank You, Heavenly)
Special Guest Stars: Adam Richman as RK (in voice-over form)
#TYHAF01
SCENE 1
The Jennings Household
Interior Kitchen
Seattle, Washington
RK repeatedly stirs a reddish-looking drink in a pitcher filled with ice cubes as Sparky, Buster, and Wade look on with boredom.
SPARKY: RK, you've been stirring for almost ten minutes. Is it ready yet?
RK: Right about...now. Alright, gents, here it is. After weeks of careful experimentation, I've finally created the perfect juice for this summer. This is what I call "The Official Drink of Summer 2012."
WADE: How long did it take you to come up with that?
RK: About three hours, but I don't mean to brag.
RK pours the drink into three separate glasses.
RK: Well, start sipping.
Sparky, Buster, and Wade begin to drink RK's special juice.
BUSTER: This is amazing.
SPARKY: Yeah, man, what did you put in this?
RK: Oh, if I told you, I would have to kill you. But I'll give you a hint: A little wild cherry goes a long way.
WADE: I know exactly what you used in this and how much.
RK: Wade, don't ruin things for people. It's summertime.
KG walks into the kitchen.
KG: Hey RK, do you need some new fishing gear?
RK: That has to be the weirdest question you've asked me in a long time. What's wrong with you?
KG: Don't you remember? We're going fishing with Mom and Dad this summer. After school's over, we're flying to Colorado.
RK: What?! Fishing? For summer break? I was going to spend the summer with my boys.
KG: You see these idiots all the time. Mom and Dad hardly ever spend time with us.
RK: KG, you can't do this. This was going to be the hottest summer of all-time. I demand you get us out of this trip immediately!
KG: Sorry, bro, no can do. If I tell Mom and Dad we can't go, they're going to hate me, not you. And I'm the golden boy in the family.
KG leaves the kitchen.
BUSTER: Does...does he still want to know about your fishing gear?
RK: I can't believe this. I had big plans for this summer, I can't use them in some backwoods part of Colorado.
SPARKY: So, what are you gonna do?
RK: I think I have an idea. I'll fake my own death. Just until KG leaves with our parents. Once he does, we'll have the whole summer to party.
WADE: It didn't work for that math test and it's not going to work now.
RK: Wade, your negativity is why you're not getting any refills.
SCENE 2
iCarly Elementary School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Sparky walks up to Buster and Wade, who are in the middle of arguing.
BUSTER: I told you, I was going to put it back!
SPARKY: What are you guys talking about?
BUSTER: Wade's upset that I borrowed his rash cream, even though I was going to give it back.
WADE: It's not rash cream, you idiot! It was a special lotion I was working on for myself.
SPARKY: Buster, did you take Wade's lotion without asking?
BUSTER: Yeah, but I was gonna put it back. I know Wade's sensitive about his skin, but why should I be?
WADE: Sparky, please say something else before I strangle your best friend.
SPARKY: Well, since summer's coming up and RK won't be around, we need to think about what we're going to do without him.
BUSTER: I thought RK was only going fishing for a couple weeks.
SPARKY: Yeah, but he'll be gone for all of July, which is the peak of summer. After that, it's just a bunch of back to school commercials that ruin August for you.
WADE: I love those commercials.
BUSTER: You know what, guys? I'm going to...to...do something.
Buster walks away without saying anything else. Sparky and Wade look at each other with confusion, then Buster returns moments later trying to catch his breath.
SPARKY: What the hell just happened?!
BUSTER: I had to use all of my brain juice for my idea. It took a lot out of me.
Buster takes a bottle of water out of his locker and starts drinking it, then sighs in relief and walks away again.
WADE: He never even told us his idea!
SCENE 3
The Jennings Household
Interior KG's Room
Seattle, Washington
Later that day, KG cackles loudly at a YouTube video on his computer. RK opens the door and walks in.
RK: Listen, KG, we need to-
KG: No, uh-uh, I told you how to do it. Try it again.
RK sighs and leaves the room. He knocks.
KG: Come in.
RK reopens the door and walks in again.
RK: Listen, KG, we need to talk about this trip to Colorado. If I go, the results are going to be beyond catastrophic.
KG: How are they going to be catastrophic?
RK: What?
KG: You just said that if you go on the fishing trip, it'll be beyond catastrophic. Explain to me how.
RK: Okay, well, if you must know, then...the-the, the elevation...of Colorado will end up giving me...AIDS.
KG: What?!
RK: I'll get AIDS, okay? The elevation will give me AIDS.
KG: How will the elevation give you AIDS?
RK: I can't believe you would ask me that. It's a rare condition, go on WebMD and ask them if I'm lying.
KG: Look, RK, I know this isn't the way you wanted to start your summer, but look at the good. We'll only be in Colorado a month, and then you have the rest of the summer to yourself.
RK: I've always had the summer to myself.
KG: So, what's the problem?
RK: Oh, KG, the way you treat me and you even have to ask? You ignore me.
KG: No, I don't. We hang out all the time.
RK: Only when you're stuck. I mean, you never did any of those things with me because you wanted to.
KG: Well, what do you want me to say, RK? You're in the fourth grade, I'm in the eighth grade. Besides, I have my own friends.
RK: Yeah? And where are your friends gonna be this summer? Sitting around waiting an entire month for you to come home. Sure, you'll get to spend August with them, of course. But what about July, KG? What about July, dammit?!
KG: You know what? You're right, man. You're absolutely right.
RK: I thought so. I'm right, RK is right.
KG: You're right that I would have to be a moron to fall for this, you guilt-tripping son of a bitch.
RK: I hate you!
RK leaves the room and forcefully closes the door.
KG: And don't come back here with that "you ignore me" crap. I know you ripped that off from somewhere!
RK (O.S.): Yeah, whatever.
SCENE 3
iCarly Elementary School
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
On the last day of school, kids run out of the building with screams of excitement, do celebratory dances, and cheer. The boys are the complete opposite as they leave silently and subtly.
SPARKY: Well, guys, we made it. Another school year in the books.
RK: Usually, the last day of school would give me happiness that tastes sweeter than an iced honey bun. But knowing what's coming next week fills me up with the bitterness of dark chocolate.
WADE: You'll make a great depressed poet one day.
SPARKY: Don't worry, RK. It's just one month of fly fishing. Then you'll be right back here with us.
RK: Well, don't count out old man Jennings just yet. I might not have gotten the trip cancelled, and I might not have gotten myself out of it, but I can cut it short. Once I do that, we'll party all summer long.
BUSTER: You could come back early, but you'll be here by yourself.
SPARKY: Buster, what are you talking about?
BUSTER: Okay, you forced it out of me. I wanted to wait until the junk food party later, but I have to tell you now. We're going to summer camp!
SPARKY AND WADE: Summer camp?!
BUSTER: Yeah, I got all three of us signed up for Camp Ongowongobinga this summer. Now, we won't have to wait for RK to come back. Isn't that great?
Sparky and Wade stare at Buster angrily.
BUSTER: Did I say something inappropriate?
WADE: You idiot, I'll kill you!
Sparky and Wade chase after a screaming Buster while RK watches them take off with a blank expression. He then turns to the camera.
RK: Wow, and I thought my summer was gonna be a living hell.
SCENE 4
The MacDougal Household
Interior Dining Room
Seattle, Washington
For the junk food party, there are plates filled with snacks such as chips, donut sticks, cream pies, honey buns, and Pop Tarts. There are also large bottles of AriZona and two-liter sodas such as Pepsi, Mountain Dew, and Crush.
. There is an awkward tension at the dinner table as Buster now has a black eye and his arm in a sling. Everybody eats their snacks in silence until RK clears his throat.
RK: So, um, which one of the Victorious girls would you guys kiss? Anyone you want, you had your choice. Who would you pick?
BUSTER: I would go back in time and stop Sparky and Wade from beating me up.
RK: Okay, that's not what I asked, but you responded to me and that's what matters.
SPARKY: Look, Buster, we're sorry we attacked you, but we just couldn't believe what you did. Why would you sign us up for summer camp without telling us?
BUSTER: You're right, Sparky. It's not summer camp. It's one of those death camps where if you don't do what they say, they kill you with their bare hands.
WADE: It's just what Sparky is trying to say is that summer camp is horrible and nobody likes it. Sleeping on the floor, all types of insects everywhere, bad food, annoying roommates.
BUSTER: Have you ever been to summer camp?
WADE: No, are you kidding me? What I've heard from people is nightmarish enough.
SPARKY: I've been to camp before.
RK: What was it like? Did you cry?
SPARKY: No. My parents signed me up for it when I was seven. All I remember is this older kid that used to irritate everybody. He was funny looking, had really bad breath. Anyway, all summer, he kept telling the younger kids, "D-don't look in the closet." "Just don't look in the closet, okay? Don't look in the closet." So, on the last day of camp, we all looked in the closet and guess what? Nothing in there. That guy was a tease.
WADE: He was probably doing that just to mess with you.
SPARKY: I don't care. You build up this closet thing all summer and you can't even give us a payoff? You're a tease and you should feel bad.
BUSTER: I'm sorry, guys, I didn't want to go behind your backs. I just wanted us to do something fun other than sit around eating Doritos and watching TeenNick all summer.
RK: Sounds like my kind of summer.
BUSTER: Plus, now, none of us will be here. We can all be miserable for a couple weeks.
WADE: That's worse!
BUSTER: Wade, you can either be happy and miss RK or be miserable and not think about RK. You gotta pick one.
SPARKY: You know what, Buster? Maybe you're right. Maybe we won't have a shitty time at summer camp. If we stick together and keep our heads down, we can make it work.
BUSTER: See? And we just might have a little fun.
WADE: I guess I'll swallow my pride this one time and try to enjoy the camp.
BUSTER: That's the spirit! *raises glass* To an okay summer camp!
Sparky and Wade raise their glasses as well.
SPARKY AND WADE: To an okay summer camp!
RK looks concerned as Sparky, Buster, and Wade toast their glasses.
SCENE 5
The Jennings Household
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
One night, Wade pulls up to RK's house. Sparky is shown on the phone in the backseat as Buster watches him.
SPARKY: No, of course not. I'm Sparky, I would never disgrace myself like that.
WADE: Who's he talking to?
BUSTER: Jaylynn again.
SPARKY: Alright, I gotta go. Talk to you later.
Sparky hangs up.
BUSTER: What did Jaylynn want?
SPARKY: We were just talking about summer camp. For some reason, she thought I meant "summer school" and I was scared to go.
WADE: Do you guys know why RK invited us here?
SPARKY: No, he didn't say. Kinda weird.
BUSTER: You know what's weirder than that? He told me to bring a big bag of Cheetos, for no reason whatsoever. What do you think he's gonna do with these?
WADE: I'm assuming he's going to eat them?
Beat.
BUSTER: I like how your mind works.
SCENE 6
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
RK opens the door and Sparky, Buster, and Wade walk in. Buster tosses RK the bag of Cheetos and he sits down alongside Sparky and Wade.
RK: Thanks for the Cheetos, man.
BUSTER: Just make sure you eat them. I don't like going to the corner store this time of night.
SPARKY: RK, why did you invite us here? You said it was an "urgent, DEFCON 1" emergency?
RK: Indeed. Gentlemen, please have a seat.
WADE: We're already sitting.
RK: Great. Gentlemen, I know you're excited about going to Camp Cucamonga this summer, but you have to know what you're getting yourself into.
BUSTER: Camp Ongowongobinga.
RK: Whatever. A couple months ago, I recorded this old after-school special from the 80s. It was really informative and it taught me everything I needed to know about how dangerous summer camp is.
RK goes to the DVR and selects a TV movie called "The Summer Where No One Told."
SPARKY: The Summer Where No One Told?
RK: Yeah, the Boy Scouts helped produce it. It was a really big deal back then. See, this boy went to a summer camp for the first time and he was really excited about it. Then he ends up getting taken advantage of by some nasty counselor.
BUSTER: That's horrible. Why would a counselor want to hurt kids like that?
RK: Bitches be crazy, you know how it is.
WADE: RK, this is obviously a sensationalist film meant to cash in on the "stranger danger" paranoia of the 80s. It doesn't mean anything.
RK: Laura from Family Matters is in this. It's her first TV role.
WADE: You serious? Well, lead in with that next time. Play the thing!
RK nods his head and presses "Play" on the special.
SPARKY: You really love that girl, don't you?
WADE: I always have.
SCENE 7
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
The kids look uncomfortable as the special plays in front of them.
TIMMY (O.S.): But, Counselor Morgan, it's getting late.
COUNSELOR MORGAN (O.S.): Don't worry. It will be our little secret.
RK: See, that's a classic pedophile move. You give a kid some ice cream late at night, make him think it's okay. Now, you can get him to do other things.
BUSTER: He better not use that ice cream the way grown-ups use it.
Sparky and Wade give Buster weird looks.
BUSTER: I read things.
SCENE 8
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
The kids' discomfort has now turned to flat-out disgust.
TIMMY (O.S.): You touched me! It didn't feel good. It felt gross!
COUNSELOR MORGAN (O.S.): So? It was okay when I was able to sneak you ice cream and buy you all those cool toys. Why do you have a problem now?
TIMMY (O.S.): I'm telling on you and then you'll be in big trouble!
COUNSELOR MORGAN (O.S.): Tell them what? You took advantage of me? You made me pay you extra attention and then lied on me when I tried to stop it? Timmy, I'm the adult. And as you know, you're the kid. You have nothing on me. Now, get in the shower!
BUSTER: No, don't get in the shower!
SPARKY: Come on Timmy, fight!
WADE: When's Laura coming back? I feel like they only gave her two scenes.
SPARKY: That's what you're worried about?!
WADE: I'm just saying, it's a waste of talent.
SCENE 9
The Jennings Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
RK turns on the lights as creepy, ominous background music plays over the end credits. On screen, a message appears: "Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, any time, any place. If you suspect something inappropriate, or you're a victim, there's always a way out. Call 1-866-HELP to bring the bad guys to justice."
SPARKY: What did we just see?
BUSTER: Don't worry, guys, I'm calling that hotline. There's a guy in my building who gives off some real creepy vibes. Who knows what he's planning next?
WADE: Buster, this movie is 25 years old. The hotline probably doesn't exist anymore.
BUSTER: Are you trying to hide something, Wade? Protecting the bad guys is just like being a bad guy.
WADE: No, I'm saying-
BUSTER: You're saying what, Mr. Paterno?
WADE: Oh, I got your Paterno.
Wade gets up and tries to go after Buster, but Sparky stops him.
SPARKY: Wade, Wade, no. His arm is healing, let's not go down that road again.
RK: Now, you guys see what I'm talking about? Summer camp isn't all fun and games, kids get hurt out there.
WADE: Well, what are we supposed to do? Not go to camp?
SPARKY: Yeah, why not?
BUSTER: I already put down the deposit, we're going. But how can we save ourselves from getting touched?
RK: Don't trust anyone, not even yourselves. Keep your distance from strangers who want to get too close. And if any of them ask you if you want a refill, tell them you'll do it yourself, you sick f***.
WADE: RK, thanks for showing us this and making sure I won't sleep tonight.
RK: Please, this is lightweight. Now, if you really want to be scared, watch Adam. You won't be sleeping for weeks.
BUSTER: What's with you and all these old man movies?
RK: I'm a TV historian, okay? It was passed down by my daddy, who got it passed down by his daddy, who got it passed down by his daddy...wait, I think there's some radio historians in there, actually.
SCENE 10
The MacDougal Household
Exterior Entrance
Seattle, Washington
Days later, Sparky loads his camping gear into his car. Buster and Wade are nearby with their stuff packed up in Buster's car, and RK and Bitch Clock watch everything.
BITCH CLOCK: Hey, what camp did you say you were going to?
SPARKY: Camp Ongowongobinga. Why?
BITCH CLOCK: Oh, never mind. I thought you were going to a different camp. I would have told you to give this necklace to Darlene and tell her in no uncertain terms...that's not my kid.
SPARKY: Why don't you go to that camp and do it yourself?
BITCH CLOCK: Too much work. Besides, those places are bone dry, so no way to get my buzz on, you know what I mean?
SPARKY: Please don't do anything stupid, I don't want the cops here again.
Cut to RK talking to Buster and Wade.
BUSTER: So when's your flight to Colorado?
RK: Tonight. I just wanted to say goodbye before my life is ruined forever.
WADE: RK, you'll be fine. It's just a little family fishing trip.
RK: Yeah, you would say that. I just need to cut it short before some idiot screams in my face about how Peyton Manning's gonna save the Broncos.
BUSTER: If anyone could do it, it's him.
SPARKY: Alright, boys, I'm packed. Let's hit the road, I guess.
BUSTER AND WADE: Yay.
RK: Remember what I told you guys. Timmy was all by himself at that camp, but you're a team. You have the advantage.
BUSTER: What if I write a polite note telling everybody to stay away from us?
RK: No, they won't know what you're doing. Let the weirdos make the first move.
Sparky begins to drive away. Buster drives off as well, leaving RK and Bitch Clock by themselves.
RK: This is going to be a terrible summer.
BITCH CLOCK: Hey, you wanna do me a favor?
RK: I'm going home.
RK walks away from Bitch Clock. Bitch Clock groans and starts to walk back to the house.
BITCH CLOCK: Dumbass kids never wanna do me any favors.
SCENE 11
Camp Ongowongobinga
Interior Boys' Cabin
Tacoma, Washington
Sparky, Buster, and Wade unpack their bags in their cabin.
SPARKY: Good job getting us our own cabin, Buster.
BUSTER: Yeah, originally, we were in separate cabins, but after that movie, I had to negotiate. I think this cabin is named after something.
SPARKY: Prince Adam.
BUSTER: Right, from He-Man. That name is so stupid, what does it mean?
WADE: You named your cat after an Arthur episode that people don't even know.
BUSTER: Hey, if you're a true Arthur fan, you know about the LPC. What did you name your cat?
WADE: I didn't want one, remember?
BUSTER: And whose fault is that?
SPARKY: Guys, let's not argue. If we're going to keep pedophiles away, we have to stay on the same page.
At that point, three older boys walk into the room.
DAVID: Hey guys. We heard you were new campers and we wanted to be the welcoming committee.
BUSTER: Oh, really? You knew we were new?
SPARKY: Yeah, what's that all about?
WADE: I question that as well.
DAVID: Um, your names were on the sign-up sheet? And we've been camping here for years and never seen you.
PAUL: Yeah, that information's pretty easy to get.
SPARKY: Well, thank you for the welcome, but we have some packing to do, so we'll see you around.
DAVID: Oh yeah, sure. When you get time, everybody's meeting in the mess hall for a mixer. You know, just so you know what's coming up this summer.
A.J.: Yeah, stop by and you'll get to see everyone.
DAVID: Dude, I said that already.
A.J.: I was making it clear.
DAVID: Well, don't. If I need you to back me up, I'll tell you. See you around, guys.
David, Paul, and A.J. leave the cabin.
WADE: I don't trust them at all.
SPARKY: I trust them less. They come in here unannounced, don't knock, and promote an event? They didn't even tell us their names!
WADE: My aunt always said that if someone doesn't tell you their name when you meet, they have the devil inside them.
BUSTER: Wait a minute, guys. What if they're recruits?
SPARKY: What do you mean?
BUSTER: I mean, like in the movie. Timmy was told by those kids how cool Counselor Morgan is, and it turns out Morgan recruited those kids to lure Timmy in before they ever met?
WADE: You're right. They weren't being friendly, this was just a reconnaissance mission.
SPARKY: Well, we know now what game they're playing. If we see them again, we expose them and get them to admit what they did.
BUSTER: But they'll just deny it. That's why it took so long for Timmy to take down Morgan.
WADE: Not if we catch them talking to other new campers. Then they'll fold faster than LeBron in the Finals.
Beat.
WADE: Where's the clip?
SPARKY: Dude, the Heat won this year.
WADE: Oh yeah. Crap, I should have made that joke months ago.
SCENE 12
The Jennings Cabin
Interior RK's Bedroom
Denver, Colorado
RK grumbles as he puts on his fishing gear on his bed.
RK: This is bullshit. I should be at home enjoying my vacation. But I'm out here, with all this damn sunlight and nature. I mean, what...
RK looks to the side and sees something strange underneath his drawer.
RK: Uh...
He walks over to the drawer and sticks his hand under it, claiming a full bottle of Heinz ketchup.
RK: Ketchup?!
RK rubs his chin, then gets a strange smile on his face.
SCENE 13
The Jennings Cabin
Denver, Colorado
RK walks out of his room holding his nose, which is covered in ketchup.
RK: Mom, Dad, I have a big problem.
MELISSA: Oh no, sweetie, what happened to you?
RK: I...I hit my head on the thing in my room, and then this blood started to gush out. If I were you, I wouldn't touch me, the gushiness is really about to go there.
GERALD: You're right about that, son. I'll pass you some Robitussin from far away.
MELISSA: Gerald, it's a nosebleed.
GERALD: Robitussin fixes everything!
KG: So you got a nosebleed, huh? Could I see?
RK: No, I might pass something on to you. I don't want you to start gushing.
KG takes RK's ketchup-drenched hand and licks it.
KG: I had no idea blood tasted like tomatoes.
MELISSA: Wait a minute. Ryan, you faked a nosebleed with ketchup?
RK: No, I didn't. That's just a symptom of what I really have. If you go on WebMD, they'll tell you I'm showing signs of a concussion.
SCENE 14
Cut to an annoyed RK fishing while KG sits next to him.
RK: I can't believe this. At least when the NFL knows you have a concussion, they don't let you play.
KG: You don't have a concussion!
RK: You don't have a brain, you don't know what concussions feel like.
SCENE 15
Camp Ongowongobinga
Interior Mess Hall
Tacoma, Washington
("Right Here" by Justin Bieber featuring Drake plays in the background)
Sparky, Buster, and Wade stay to themselves at the mess hall, doing nothing but stare at the other kids talking and having fun.
SPARKY: You guys feeling okay? How are your drinks?
BUSTER: I put my own water in this cup. I didn't want to take any of the "camp" drinks they have here.
WADE: Impressive. I don't even have a drink in here. It just looks like I do.
BUSTER: You're the man, Wade.
SPARKY: Alright, I haven't seen those weird boys yet, but I think-
Sparky looks around and sees David, Paul, and A.J. talking to a younger girl on the far side of the mess hall.
SPARKY: Bingo, you sick bastards.
BUSTER: What do you see?
SPARKY: Those boys. They're harassing that sweet little girl.
WADE: How dare they? They knew we weren't about to roll over, so they went after a more vulnerable target.
BUSTER: They're never recruiting anybody ever again!
Sparky, Buster, and Wade angrily run up to David, Paul, and A.J. and pull the girl away from them.
SPARKY: That's it, that's it! Get away from her!
DAVID: What are you doing?
Buster punches David, who then falls to the floor while everybody gasps in horrified shock.
BUSTER: Eat it, predator!
COUNSELOR BARKER: What's going on here?! Are you kids insane?!
SPARKY: No, you're insane for this little setup you have going.
WADE: Yeah, you think you can get kids to lure other kids so you can molest them? Well, you're not getting what you want this summer. It's over!
Beat. The music stops as kids and counselors look at Sparky, Buster, and Wade with confusion.
BUSTER: Guys, it's okay. You don't have to be scared anymore, we're here.
SCENE 16
Camp Ongowongobinga
Interior Office
Tacoma, Washington
Sparky, Buster, and Wade are being talked to by Counselor Barker.
COUNSELOR BARKER: Guys, just because you saw some cheesy 80s movie, doesn't mean you can accuse someone of pedophilia. Do you know allegations can ruin a person's life?
BUSTER: Who do you think you are, Michael Jackson? You didn't go through what he went through.
SPARKY: Besides, that movie made an impact. When it came out, over 300 child molesters were reported to the hotline and arrested.
COUNSELOR BARKER: Were any of them from summer camps?
WADE: Common sense would dictate the answer to be "yes."
COUNSELOR BARKER: Look, bottom line, you can't assault other campers and make up unfounded accusations like that. You're banned from camp activities for two weeks.
BUSTER: Could you ban us for six weeks? Because that's how long this camp runs for and I really want my deposit back.
COUNSELOR BARKER: No.
BUSTER: Well, since it's two weeks and we're not going to be doing anything, I should get a third of it back, right?
COUNSELOR BARKER: Get out of here!
BUSTER: If you say so.
Sparky, Buster, and Wade leave the office.
SCENE 17
Camp Ongowongobinga
Exterior Canoe Station/Lake
Tacoma, Washington
Later that day, David, Paul, and A.J. grab a canoe and begin rowing in the lake. David sports a black eye as a result of Buster's punch.
DAVID: I can't believe those guys. We've been going here for years and they think we want to touch kids?
PAUL: People are weirdos, man. My advice? Ignore them and spend the rest of the summer having fun.
A.J.: I don't know. They're going to be here for six weeks. Walking around like a bad smell, then that smell will probably turn into some...some fungus with toxic radiation and then-
DAVID: A.J., shut up, we get the point. I don't want those guys around. They're just going to ruin camp for everyone else.
PAUL: So, what do we do? Make them think camp is exactly what they think it is?
DAVID: I think we should. Minus the pedophile shit.
A.J.: What are you guys talking about? You know I don't understand code.
DAVID: We're going to make those idiots sweat it out. If they don't want to be here, we're going to make camp as miserable as possible. Then they'll pack their bags and never come back here.
A.J.: But they already think camp sucks. Why don't they just leave now?
PAUL: I heard that blonde kid doesn't want to leave without getting his deposit back.
DAVID: Well, we're making them leave. It's time they learn a lesson about messing with people.
A.J.: You know what we need for this scheme? Some scheming music.
A.J. takes out his phone, and begins playing the "Inspector Gadget" theme song. David and Paul give each other bored looks.
DAVID: You really downloaded that shit on your phone?
A.J.: Of course. It's catchy.
A.J. begins humming the theme song while David and Paul continue to row in boredom.
PAUL: You're lucky this is a two-man job, A.J.
SCENE 18
RK and KG are walking along a trail in Denver when RK finds a red button on the ground.
RK: Hey, this is pretty cool. A button! *picks up button* And it's acrylic. I didn't even know you could find these in Colorado.
KG: I'm glad you're trying to get into this trip.
RK: I'm not. I'm faking my excitement. You're a writer, aren't you supposed to know these things about the human condition?
KG: I'm a guitar player.
RK: So? Guitar players write songs. Stop proving my point for me, combat me.
KG: You didn't take your gummies this morning, did you?
RK cups his hand to his ear and walks further. He sees two middle-aged men talking as they also hike along the trail.
MAN #1: Yeah, he was puking his guts out after he was done.
MAN #2: He made history, though.
RK: Excuse me, gents. What's this puking and history you two speak of?
MAN #1: Young man, where are your parents? Do you need our help finding them?
RK: What? No, I'm with my brother. We're trying to salvage what's left of this God-awful trip.
MAN #2: Well, if you're looking for some action, you need to head down to Snuffy's. It's the home of the Lobsteria Challenge.
MAN #1: Yeah, we saw this guy last night win the challenge and then get sent to the ER five minutes later. It was incredible.
RK: What kind of challenge?
MAN #1: See, you have to eat this enormous lobster. It's the largest crustacean that's humanly possible in this region. If you win, you get your picture on the Wall of Fame and a free pair of shorts.
RK: You're kidding. That's awesome! KG, I figured out a way to save my summer.
KG: You're not taking that challenge. You're going to die, and then Mom and Dad are going to wonder why I didn't stop you from killing yourself.
MAN #2: Hey, suicide is a personal choice.
RK: I...don't think this is the time for commentary, but KG, listen to me. If I eat this lobster, I'll be famous. I'll put the Jennings name on the map. Winning this challenge is my only chance at salvation.
KG: Salvation from what?
RK: From the worst summer in human history, would you keep up?
MAN #1: And you would also be the first kid to take the challenge.
RK: See? I'm making history already. The weird old men agree.
KG: There's...nothing I can say to stop you, is there? I'm literally wasting my words right now because I can't convince you that this is a terrible idea.
RK: Pretty much. And you're not telling Mom and Dad. If they ask, just say we're going out for a nice, leisurely dinner.
KG: And what happens when you're carried out on a stretcher?
RK: Tell them I made history. They'll understand.
SCENE 19
Camp Ongowongobinga
Interior Boys' Cabin
Tacoma, Washington
Sparky, Buster, and Wade all have bored expressions as they play "Go Fish."
WADE: You got any threes?
BUSTER: I got twos.
WADE: That's not what I asked.
BUSTER: Does it matter? I'm telling you what I have.
Sparky and Wade give each other concerned looks.
WADE: Do you have any twos?
BUSTER: No, go fish.
WADE: But you just...how come you don't know how to do anything?!
SPARKY: Wade, be easy. It's boring enough, let's not make it hostile.
WADE: I'm sorry. I just wish we could protect the other kids. Maybe those boys weren't predators, or recruits, but somebody here knows something untoward about this camp.
BUSTER: Well, we'll never find out. Nobody wants to be a rat. That's how Nickelodeon gets away with it.
WADE: Gets away with what?
BUSTER: You know how-
David, Paul, and A.J. walk into the cabin.
BUSTER: Son of a bitch.
DAVID: Look, we come in peace. Even though we shouldn't after what you did.
BUSTER: We're sorry we attacked you, but we had to do it. Haven't you ever seen The Summer Where No One Told?
PAUL: No.
BUSTER: You should, it will change your life.
SPARKY: What Buster's trying to say is that we should have never accused you guys without evidence.
DAVID: It's all good. But you should know that Counselor Barker has you guys on punishment.
WADE: We're already aware. No camp activities for two weeks.
DAVID: Right, but what he forgot to tell you was to make up for what you did, you have to do some serious chores around here.
BUSTER: Are you kidding me?
PAUL: Hey, that's how it is here at camp. It's not all fun and games.
DAVID: And we were selected by Barker to help you guys out.
A.J.: We were?
David elbows A.J. hard in the stomach.
A.J.: Ow! I just wanted you to clarify, damn!
SPARKY: Well, it beats hanging around here.
BUSTER: No, it doesn't. We're playing Go Fish.
WADE: Please take us away from this cabin, I'm begging you.
DAVID: After you.
Sparky, Buster, and Wade get up and leave the cabin.
DAVID: This is perfect. We're going to give the guys so much shit to do, they'll have no choice but to leave camp.
PAUL: Why are you repeating the plan? We know what we have to do.
DAVID: It's more for A.J.'s benefit than yours.
A.J.: What are you trying to say? That I'm dumb?
DAVID: What gave it away? The thing I literally just said?
SCENE 20
Camp Ongowongobinga
Interior Mess Hall
Tacoma, Washington
David (wearing an official Camp Ongowongobinga baseball cap and matching T-shirt, along with khaki shorts, knee socks, and a whistle around his neck) oversees the boys as they sweep up the mess hall and wipe it down.
DAVID: Come on, guys, you have to put some hustle into it. Counselor Barker doesn't play around with chores.
SPARKY: This is stupid. Aren't we done yet?
DAVID: Don't think so.
David takes his finger and drags it across the floor, then rubs off some specks of dirt.
DAVID (CONT.): The campground must be impeccable.
WADE: Come on, you could eat off this floor.
DAVID: Maybe you could, but me and my boys can't. This is camp. If you don't want to commit to excellence, then you shouldn't be here.
PAUL: Hey Dave, why don't you try dialing it down? The guys are gonna catch on.
DAVID: Don't worry. They're this close to cracking, I can feel it.
PAUL: Wait a minute. Why do we have to clean with them?
DAVID: You guys have to look like you're part of this to prevent any bias.
PAUL: So, maybe you should help us clean.
DAVID: It's my plan. I can get close, but not too close.
PAUL: You're unbelievable.
David and Paul turn to see Buster and A.J. use their brooms to hit balled-up napkins and papers into the nearby garbage can.
BUSTER: You were right, A.J.! This is a fun way to clean up!
A.J.: Told ya.
David grabs the back of A.J.'s shirt and pulls him in front of him.
DAVID: Hey dumbass, we're supposed to be torturing these losers, remember?
A.J.: Oh, right. I got you. Do you know where I can find the cattle prod?
David gives A.J. a bored expression.
A.J.: Taser?
SCENE 21
Camp Ongowongobinga
Interior Mess Hall (Kitchen)
Tacoma, Washington
Later on, David oversees the boys as they wash and dry multiple dishes in the mess hall's kitchen.
DAVID: Sometimes, to earn respect from the counselors, campers try doing things that are normally done for them, like washing dishes.
*singing "I've Been Working on the Railroad"* BUSTER: Can't you hear the captain shouting/"Dinah, blow your horn!"/I said, Dinah, won't you blow...
David blows his whistle.
DAVID: No folk music! Focus on the task at hand!
SPARKY: Quit barking at him. It's bad enough that we have to scrub every inch of these things.
WADE: I liked this guy better when I thought he was doing reconnaissance.
SPARKY: I know. And why does he look like a football coach that never wins any games?
PAUL: Dave, I think your plan's starting to go somewhere.
DAVID: You think? Look at them, they're miserable. We've got this thing in the bag.
At that point, A.J. squirts some apple pear Palmolive on his face to complete his bubble beard.
A.J.: Hey guys, check me out, I'm Al Sharpton! *imitating Al Sharpton* The Republicans are the ones eating the booberry pie! They got the pie all over their face! They were sitting there eating the booberry pie!
With the exception of David, everyone starts laughing.
BUSTER: Wait, check this out, I think I got it.
Buster squirts some Palmolive on his face to create a bubble mustache.
BUSTER: Now, I'm Al Sharpton! *imitating Al Sharpton* The booberry pie is the pie that Obama was feeding to-to the Republicans, and they ate the booberry pie with the pudding pops and the Jell-O and the booberry pot pie! *imitating Yosemite Sam* Ooh, I hate that rabbit!
Everyone continues laughing. David once again grabs A.J. to pull him in front of him.
DAVID: Do you secretly hate me? Is there something you want to talk about with me?
A.J.: I guess. Do you wanna talk about it?
DAVID: No. A.J., what the hell are you doing? If you keep showing these guys a good time, they might change their minds about this place!
A.J.: I'm sorry, man, but I don't have it in me to torture people. Having fun is what I'm good at.
Buster throws soap-infused water at A.J.
A.J.: Oh, it's on now!
A.J. throws water at Buster, which hits Wade by accident. It leads to a full-on water bubble fight between the five boys as David looks on with disgust.
DAVID: Time for our next activity.
SCENE 22
("It Ain't Over Til It's Over" by DJ Khaled featuring Mary J. Blige, Fabolous, and Jadakiss plays in the background)
David has made it his mission to break Sparky, Buster, and Wade's spirits so they can leave Camp Ongowongobinga for good. Throughout the montage, the boys continue to be subjected to grueling tasks. In the forest, David has everyone forage for snacks to eat as a way to display mastery of the wilderness. Sparky, Paul, and A.J. are unsuccessful, but Buster miraculously finds a dead pig, while Wade finds a blueberry plant on a sunflower medley with nasturtium petals for color.
The next activity is hiking, where David has everyone walk around the trail with backpacks filled with rocks. Paul forces David to participate, and everyone looks physically spent except for Sparky, who leads the pack and shows no signs of fatigue.
Later on, the guys are placed in a kiddie pool, with David as lifeguard. Despite the size of the pool, the guys seem to be having fun through gamely conversation. David puts a stop to this by blowing his whistle at various points. When he reaches his breaking point, he blows the whistle twice in succession, and forces everyone out of the pool. David then takes a clipboard, tears it in half, stomps on it, and kicks it as the guys look on with bewilderment.
SCENE 23
Camp Ongowongobinga
Interior Mess Hall
Tacoma, Washington
David, Paul, and A.J. sit at one of the tables in complete silence.
DAVID: This isn't over.
A.J.: Ah, geez.
DAVID: We just need to think harder, work smarter, go farther. I'm telling you guys, I have them right where I want them.
PAUL: No, you don't. Look, David, this was a decent plan in the beginning, but it failed. Those guys are actually having more fun now than when they got here. And they're pretty cool.
A.J.: Yeah, especially Buster. You remember when he poured all those Fritos in the pool and we were fishing for them?
DAVID: We all remember that.
A.J.: I was talking to Paul.
DAVID: Guys, we need to stay focused. All it takes is one last task to push those idiots over the edge.
PAUL: Like what?
DAVID: Well, it's a little drastic, but challenging them didn't work. Boring them didn't work. So maybe scaring them will.
A.J.: You're going to show them where all the bodies are buried here?!
PAUL: A.J., that's just an urban legend.
A.J.: Please, I hear things. I know someone got killed at this place.
SCENE 24
The Jennings Cabin
Interior RK's Bedroom
Denver, Colorado
RK looks in the mirror that night as he licks his hand and rubs his hair back, then gives himself the "wink and the gun" gesture. He then turns to his bed and opens a cardboard box to reveal a red boxing robe with the initials "R.K." inscribed on the side in black lettering.
RK: It's beautiful.
KG knocks on the open door.
KG: You're ready to throw your life away?
RK: You have to stop being so negative. This is your brother's chance at immortality, and you're just going to act like it doesn't matter?
KG: You're getting a picture and a pair of shorts, what's the real prize here?
RK: Spoken like someone who's never won anything. I bet Barry Bonds' father treated him the same way when he went after the home run record. *turns to camera* That's right, assholes. Whether you like it or not, we here at Thank You, Heavenly acknowledge Barry as the home run king. So, deal with it.
Beat.
KG: Who the hell are you talking to?!
SCENE 25
Snuffy's Seafood Shack
Exterior Entrance
Denver, Colorado
RK's car pulls up to the restaurant. RK is wearing his special robe as he looks out the window intensely.
RK (V.O.): I'm right in front of Snuffy's as I prepare to take on the Lobsteria Challenge, one of the biggest seafood contests ever created by mankind.
RK: Wait a minute, why is Adam Richman my inner voice?
RK (V.O.): Because you fell asleep watching Man v. Food last night so you can't stop thinking about me. Now, shut up and let me do my thing.
RK: Alright, go ahead.
SCENE 26
(The instrumental to "In the Middle of It Now" by Disciple plays in the background)
Cut to a quick montage of the lobster being prepared inside the restaurant.
RK (V.O.): Known to some locals as "Lobsterzilla," this crustacean is one of Snuffy's specialties. Weighing in at 25 pounds, it's a recipe for disaster. The lobster is designed for those who love eating, but the more meat that gets pumped inside, the more weary the challenger gets. Out of the 900 people who have taken the challenge, only 5% have succeeded.
Cut to a shot of the restaurant's Wall of Fame, which shows pictures of the 45 people that have won the Lobsteria Challenge.
SCENE 27
Snuffy's Seafood Shack
Interior Dining Area
Denver, Colorado
A large crowd of people have gathered to witness RK take on the Lobsteria Challenge. RK walks in and performs a boxing-style entrance, wearing boxing gloves and having the hood on his robe placed over his head. As RK arrives to the table, he has KG remove his robe and gloves for him, and then sits down.
DOUG: Alright, RK, you're here to conquer the Lobsteria Challenge. Your job is to eat this entire 25-pound lobster in less than thirty minutes. The whole lobster, no leftover meat, nothing. If you win, you get your picture on Snuffy's Wall of Fame and a free pair of Snuffy's gym shorts. Good luck to you, and let the eating begin!
(The "In the Middle of It Now" instrumental continues playing in the background)
Doug blows his whistle and the crowd cheers as RK immediately begins devouring the lobster.
RK (V.O.): As the first kid to take on the challenge, I was already making history, but I knew the prize was my picture on the wall. The plan was simple: Establish dominance early, take a respite in between, and go in for the kill in the home stretch. The energy was electric. The crowd was chanting my name. Even KG was impressed. I was in the zone, and nothing could stop me.
SCENE 28
Denver Health Medical Center
Interior Hospital Room
Denver, Colorado
Cut to RK laying in a hospital bed, attached to an IV. KG waves his hand multiple times in front of RK, who looks almost comatose as he tries to open his eyes.
RK (V.O.): Except for a complete overestimation of my skills. Three minutes into the challenge, I collapsed on the floor from severe stomach pain, and was immediately taken to the ER by some waitresses. Tonight, at Snuffy's, in the battle of man versus food...food won.
KG: You okay, bro?
RK: I couldn't do it. I couldn't save my summer.
KG: I wouldn't say that. Mom and Dad said I could take you home to rest so it looks like the trip is over.
RK: This is amazing. I didn't win the battle, but I won the war. That's what really matters.
KG: Yeah, sure. Promise me you won't do anything this stupid for the rest of the summer.
RK: I promise. At least until after I sue Snuffy's for pain and suffering, and make millions off the settlement.
KG: You can't sue them, remember? You signed a Hold Harmless Agreement, so they can't be held responsible for anything that happens to you.
RK: Fuuuuuuuuu-
SCENE 29
Camp Ongowongobinga
Exterior Campground
Tacoma, Washington
At night, all six boys sit around on logs and roast marshmallows. However, a flashlight is being used to roast them instead of a fire.
WADE: I don't get it. Why can't we roast these under an actual fire?
DAVID: We're not allowed to use matches without supervision. Someone was supposed to take care of that by stealing them from the mess hall, and someone forgot, so now, we have to pay for what someone did.
A.J.: We all know you're talking about me. And there's nothing wrong with airing them out. They taste better that way.
Buster takes his marshmallow off the stick and eats it.
BUSTER: Mmmmm, that's delicious!
A.J.: See? You're going to learn to respect my ideas, David.
DAVID: Whatever.
SPARKY: So, does anybody have any stories to share?
BUSTER: Yeah, I got one. I heard Chris Brown and Drake got into it last month.
WADE: Everybody knows that, that's not news.
BUSTER: Not everyone knows what the fight was about word-for-word. See, in the middle of the night in SoHo, Drake was like, "Tell Rihanna to wear that thing I like." And Chris was like, "I'll beat you so bad, you'll wish you were Rihanna wearing the thing that you like." Then after that-
DAVID: Stop. Nobody cares about your stupid celebrity stories that aren't real. You guys want a scary story?
BUSTER: Does it have anything to do with the club?
DAVID: No! Alright, many years ago, at a camp just like this, a couple kids went to go swimming...
SCENE 30
Camp Ongowongobinga
Exterior Campground
Tacoma, Washington
Dissolve into later on, as David holds the flashlight up to his chin and the kids look terrified beyond belief.
DAVID: And as the doll took out a butcher knife, she crawled up the bed, towards the boy and then...
A.J. taps David on his shoulder, which makes him scream. A.J. screams in response, and the others scream as well.
A.J.: I just wanted to ask a question, are you trying to make me deaf?
DAVID: Are you trying to make me get a new pair of shorts?! I'm sorry, I can't do this. I can't finish the story.
BUSTER: You're telling me. My hands are shaking.
DAVID: I think we clinched it, Paulie.
Paul gives David a look of disgust.
DAVID: Now, guys, I'm sorry, but this is the real Camp Ongowongobinga. If you don't want to be here anymore, I understand.
SPARKY: Are you kidding me? This camp is amazing.
WADE: Yeah. Did we hate it at first? Yes. Did we not trust you guys? Of course. But this whole day was fun for all of us.
SPARKY: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Buster, thank you for signing us up.
A.J.: Awesome, you guys are staying!
DAVID: No! They can't! They...they...they have to-
PAUL: They have to what? Finish your sentence.
DAVID: Shut up, Paul! Look, guys, we were playing you the whole time. I wanted revenge after you called us child molesters, so we made you think this camp sucked so you would go home.
WADE: Huh. That has to be the worst backfire I've ever seen before.
A.J.: Yeah, way to go, Dave. You really dropped the ball.
DAVID: You went along with it!
PAUL: Just so you three know, I have no issues with you punching David again. Go for it.
SPARKY: You know what? We deserved it.
BUSTER: How? They just pretended to have fun with us.
A.J.: Not me. I was being real the whole time, I couldn't fake it.
BUSTER: Alright, you're good but I don't trust these two.
SPARKY: We deserved it after what we did. We're sorry for making things uncomfortable. It's just that we didn't want to come here in the first place and then, our friend showed us this creepy movie that made us think camp is full of pedophiles.
PAUL: There are probably hundreds of camps that are. Some of them in this state, but not our camp.
WADE: Maybe we should just go. It's obvious we're not welcome here.
DAVID: No, don't go. I'm sorry, too. I got so caught up in revenge, I didn't see how much fun everyone was having. But how about we do what we were supposed to do in the first place? Welcome you guys to camp for real.
BUSTER: But we're still banned from camp activities.
DAVID: Not our camp activities.
A.J.: We have our own camp? Why didn't you tell me?! We could have went to that one!
DAVID: A.J., I swear...
SCENE 31
Camp Ongowongobinga
Interior Mess Hall (Kitchen)
Seattle, Washington
The next day, the boys are all washing and drying the dishes, including David. However, the atmosphere is far more carefree than it was the day before, and all the boys sport Palmolive bubble beards.
*singing "I've Been Working on the Railroad"* BOYS: Can't you hear the captain shouting/"Dinah, blow your horn!"
Buster claps his hands and starts to dance.
BUSTER: I said, "Dinah, won't you blow?"/"Dinah, won't you blow?"/"Dinah, won't you blow your horn, your horrrrrrn!"
DAVID: That was great, Buster. Hey, maybe we should sing some Broadway shit now.
SPARKY: Wade, I think this could be the best summer we've ever had.
WADE: You said it.
At that point, KG runs into the kitchen.
KG: Guys, you have to get outta here now!
SPARKY: KG?! What the hell are you doing here?!
KG: RK has a stomach virus, he's in the hospital!
BUSTER: Oh shit, we have to go! Sorry, guys. But Facebook...look us up there.
KG quickly rushes Sparky, Buster, and Wade out of the kitchen, with the dialogue being nothing more than incomprehensible gibberish. David, Paul, and A.J. look on with blank stares.
PAUL: Damn, that sucks.
A.J.: I know. I really wanted Buster to see my George Costanza impression.
David and Paul give A.J. bored looks.
SCENE 32
RK's car quickly leaves the camp. The boys adjust themselves in the back seat as KG sits in the passenger's seat with boredom and RK drives.
SPARKY: Wait a minute, RK?! I thought you were in the hospital with a stomach virus!
RK: I was, but now, I'm not. What KG just told you was pure theater.
BUSTER: So you lied to us?!
RK: I needed an excuse to save you guys from that sex prison. I know it took a little time, but your boy came through. Now, it's just us and a nonstop party all summer.
Beat.
WADE: You unbelievable, mouth-breathing moron!
RK: What?
SPARKY: We were having fun at that camp! There were no pedophiles there, your stupid movie was bullshit!
RK: Wait, you're serious? It was just regular, boring camp stuff, no drama?
BUSTER: Yes! And if we didn't listen to you, we wouldn't have looked like idiots at the mixer!
RK: Oh. Well, I learned a valuable lesson today. Never make assumptions.
WADE: Get out and pull over. Right now.
RK gulps in fear as he pulls over, then sighs and leaves the car. Sparky, Buster, and Wade leave the car as well.
RK (O.S.): Guys, you know, I paid a lot for this ensemble.
RK screams as the guys assault him off-screen.
SPARKY (O.S.): Get the stick!
RK (O.S.): No, don't get the stick, please!
RK screams again as the guys begin to take turns hitting him with a stick.
KG: Not a good summer for little bro.
RK (O.S.): KG, do something!
Cut to black.
("Welcome 2 Hell" by Bad Meets Evil plays over the end credits)
POST-CREDITS GAG
The MacDougal Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
As the caption reads "Present Day," the gang as we now know them sit on Sparky's couch while they watch TV.
SPARKY: You guys know they're bringing back Cowboy Kyle?
BUSTER: I thought they already brought it back.
SPARKY: Yeah, but this is a brand new reboot for CW. This one is live-action, and Kyle's going to adjust to life as a transgender teen cowboy living in the 19th century.
BUSTER: Haven't we already suffered enough?
SPARKY: I don't think we have.
JAYLYNN: I don't get what the big deal is with reboots. Can't a show just stay dead?
RK: I know. Bringing any show back for any reason is disgusting. Quit making happy dollars for the man.
WADE: So, there are no good reboots? iCarly, The Proud Family?
RK: Wade, those are the exceptions. That's like saying Arby's is amazing because they happen to have two sandwiches that don't taste like shit.
SPARKY: Honestly, I don't have anything against bringing shows back. Just do it with some effort, you know?
JAYLYNN: Hey, what if we had a show?
BUSTER: Huh?
JAYLYNN: I mean, what if we did the same things we're doing now, but it was on TV? Then our show ended, and they asked us about coming back. Would you guys do it?
RK: Nope. Nobody wants to see us on TV, so nobody would want to see us twice. Forget about it.
BUSTER: I would consider it.
WADE: Me too.
SPARKY: For the right price, I guess.
Beat. The guys then turn to the camera and smile deviously.
(The instrumental to "Rare" by Nas plays in the background)
Cut to the following message as it appears over a black screen: "Christmas special on December 25. Season nine begins in early 2023. Happy anniversary." Final cut to black.
©2022 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS
THE SHOW GOES ON
