A/N: Some of you may remember the first two chapters of this story from last year. I had most of the story completed when I had a computer issue and lost my file. Frustrated, I had pulled the story. By some miracle, I found the file in my cloud storage. I'm working on finishing up the last few chapters, so I've decided to start reposting. I'll be posting the first three chapters immediately, followed by a chapter each Sunday until I get the story finished. Then I may expedite the time line.
Denial is considered one of the most primitive defense mechanisms we have because it is something we develop in early childhood. At least that's what I learned in my college psychology class. Some people evolve as they grow up and develop other ways of protecting themselves. They might even find healthy coping skills. Some people stick with denial as their primary means of dealing with life, even to their detriment. I was one of those people. Denial had always been my go-to defense against bad stuff, but especially in the last four years. Being a bounty hunter had made denial a near-permanent state of existence for me. I had been stalked, kidnapped, and held at gunpoint more times that I could count. I had more cars destroyed than a demolition derby and my apartment had been set on fire several times. It had been necessary to lie to myself about how bad my life was in order to be able to keep living it.
A week ago, I had been given the job of bringing Blake Thurston back to jail. He was a violent rapist and fire bug. He had raped three women after meeting them on Tinder, then set their houses on fire and bolted. Two of them women had survived, but barely. One was dead. He had been granted bail based on some technicality and he had decided he hadn't wanted to go to court. For seven days I had been trying to find him, and for seven days he had been taunting me. He had promised to do to me what he had done to those other three women. I had been laying low in an effort not to scare anyone, staying at an Airbnb in Ewing Township since my address had apparently been listed in the Felon's Phone Book. I had come back to my apartment early in the morning to grab a few things and check in on my hamster, hoping to be in and out within a few minutes. I hadn't anticipated that Thurston would be lying in wait. He had doused the apartment in gasoline and had grabbed me when I walked in. We had fought and I had shot at him. The spark from my gun had been enough to ignite the gasoline, which spread through the room quickly. Thurston panicked and ran, but not before his back and jeans had caught on fire. I chased after him down the hall as he did a barrel roll to put out the flames, then jumped up again to keep running, pure adrenaline being the only thing that propelled him. I chased him down the stairwell in my building but tripped and fell the rest of the way down the stairs as he bolted out the door. By the time I had pulled myself together he was gone.
So now I was standing in the parking lot of my apartment building watching as the Trenton Fire Department put out the fire. I had some bumps and scrapes from falling but had been cleared by the EMTs on the scene. Ranger and Morelli had both arrived after hearing the 911 call. They were standing in front of me while I sat on the bumper of an ambulance with identical postures.
"Why didn't you tell me about Thurston?" Morelli asked.
"Because I was handling it," I replied.
"Clearly not," he said, gesturing towards my apartment. "You said you've been staying at an Airbnb the last few days. Why not with me? Or with Ranger? At least you would have been safe."
"I'm safe at my Airbnb. He didn't find me there. He only found me because I came back for some extra clothes and to check on Rex." I felt my throat tighten up at the thought of my deceased hamster, but I wasn't going to cry right now. I hadn't been allowed to bring him to the Airbnb and assumed he would be safe at home.
Morelli made a disgusted noise and a vague hand gesture. "I can't take her," he said to Ranger. "I have to stay and deal with this shit. Thurston is one of my cases. If he got burned, he should be turning up in a hospital soon."
"I can put her up in my apartment for now," Ranger said, glancing at his watch. "I have meetings all day, but she can stay there until you can take her."
They continued to discuss plans of approximate times to hand me off and how, but I stopped noticing because something inside me had snapped. There were white lights at the edge of my vision and the only thing I wanted to do was kick both men in the balls.
"I'm right here!" I shouted, clearly surprising both men. "I am right here, and you are talking about me like I'm not standing in front of you. Like I'm a friggin' dog who can't be left alone or I'll dig a hole under the fence and go running around the neighborhood."
I pushed off the bumper and walked around the ambulance. "You both can go fuck yourselves!" I yelled as I turned my back on them.
I stopped next to a Rangeman SUV and started digging through my messenger bag, which had thankfully been crossed over my body as I had entered my apartment. I could see both Morelli and Ranger in my peripheral vision, but they weren't trying to approach me. They wanted to give the irrational woman some time to gather her senses before they tucked her away safe and sound while they hunted down the bad guy.
"What a fucking disaster," I heard the nearest Rangeman guy say. He and his partner had their backs to me and probably didn't know I was there. I didn't recognize either of them. "She must be a really good lay for Ranger to put up with this shit."
"It's hilarious," his partner said. "The office takes bets on when she's going blow something up next. Marcus won two hundred the last time her car blew up. We're pretty sure he only has her around for the laughs. This job can get boring, you know."
I had been looking for my cell phone to call my mother, but now I wanted a weapon. I wanted to stab these two assholes for laughing at my life. I wanted to use my taser on Ranger for making me the laughingstock of his office. Instead, I found the pen that doubled as a tracking device and set it on the rear bumper of the SUV. I was also wearing a watch that had GPS tracking. I took that off and left it on the bumper as well. I found my cell phone and turned it off. I tripled checked the bag to make sure there was nothing else in there that I knew I hadn't placed personally. I glanced over at Ranger and Morelli and saw them in discussion with the fire marshal. I took the opportunity to slip between vehicles and out of the lot. I took off at a run once I was on the sidewalk and went around the building. I didn't know where I was going, but it sure as hell wasn't with those assholes.
As I rounded the corner to the front of my building, I saw a bus stopped at the curb and there were a couple of teenagers boarding. I picked up my pace and was able to get there before the doors closed. I pulled out exact change and paid for my fare, walking to the back of the bus as the doors closed and the driver took off. I took a seat in the last row and watched out the window as my building faded in the distance. I thought maybe I saw one of the Rangeman employees running down the sidewalk in front of the building as the bus rounded a corner, but I hadn't been sure. I sat quietly as the bus wound through the city, stopping every few minutes to let people off and others on. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I could ride the bus until I figured it out. I eventually ended up at a transfer station, where I looked at the map to determine which bus to take next. Considering I didn't have a destination in mind, it took a few minutes.
I eventually got on a bus that took me to the train station. The best way to stay out of Thurston's hands, and away from my babysitters, was to get the hell out of town. Where I went would depend on which trains were leaving the station when I arrived. I got to the train station about twenty minutes after I boarded the bus. I consulted the schedule and saw that there were trains leaving for Newark, Philadelphia, or Atlantic City within the next half hour. I spent half a minute debating before deciding on Philly. I bought a ticket and went to the platform to wait. I looked around as I waited, on guard for any sign of Thurston, Morelli, or Ranger. I pulled out my phone to have something to do, then remembered I had turned it off to avoid being tracked and put it back in my bag. I was starting to feel the pain of my fall down the stairs and wished I had grabbed a bottle of water before coming down to the platform.
I spent the forty-five-minute ride to Philadelphia looking out the window, wondering what the hell I was going to do. I hadn't been happy with my life for a while, and now it seemed I was prepared to burn my bridges. The more I thought about Morelli's and Ranger's treatment of me, the angrier I got. It wasn't just that day, but the many times over the years when I had gotten into some bind, and they had helped me out. Not that I was ungrateful for their help, but it seemed to make them think they had the right to treat me any way they wanted. I had been belittled and disrespected by each of them, and I couldn't take it anymore.
Morelli was my boyfriend, but I knew he wanted me to be different. He wanted me to have a quiet job where I came home at five and had dinner on the table, even if it was just a pizza from Pino's. I knew he wasn't in any hurry to settle down but figured he would never want to settle down with me if I didn't become more like his mother and sisters. And I had no desire to become one of the Morelli women. Ranger treated me like a toy. He liked to play with me, had fun with me, cared about me, but not enough to want a future with me. He had his reasons; maybe they were legitimate, or maybe they were bullshit. But there was no future with him. He had made that clear. So why was I hanging around either of them? I wasn't dying to get married and pop out babies right now, but I knew that if those things were what I wanted out of life, I was going to have to figure that out soon. I would be thirty-four in a few weeks, and I felt as lost as I had been the day I graduated college twelve years ago.
I spent a few minutes imagining the scene in Trenton. Ranger and Morelli were both probably worried, thinking I had been grabbed by Thurston, even though it should be obvious that I left on my own since Ranger's tracking devices were hanging out on the bumper of a Rangeman vehicle. Or maybe they figured I walked away on my own, but then thought I got grabbed. I didn't know, and I was beyond caring. Any guilt I might have felt at their anxiety was extinguished by the memory of the how they had been talking about me.
I got off the train at the 30th Street station in Philadelphia and tried to figure out where to go. I was tempted to turn my phone to do some Googling, but that was a guarantee that Ranger would show up within the hour. I consulted the subway map and decided to take a train towards the tourist attractions. I got off at the station near City Hall and walked to Reading Terminal Market. I was starving and the idea of having so many meal options to choose from sounded like a dream. It was packed with tourists and locals, and I ended up eating my cheesesteak standing up against a wall with my bottle of water held between my knees. Once I finished eating, I browsed at the various vendors in the market. One stall had a sign posted stating that shoplifters will be shot. I was tempted to find out if they shot to kill but didn't want to risk that they would just shoot me in the knee, then have me arrested.
I found a booth advertising walking tours of the city and paid for tours of the Independence Mall and the Old City. I spent the afternoon and early evening wandering Philadelphia, learning about the Liberty Bell, the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and the various founding fathers. I sat in George Washington's pew at church, which was like a Cadillac with its leg room and little door. I walked up and down Elfreth's Alley, wondering what it would be like to live in a museum. I stopped at a Wawa for snacks and drinks. I pretended to have lost my phone and the manager let me use the store phone.
"Where are you?" my mother asked when she answered the phone. "Joseph and Ranger have both been here looking for you. They said you disappeared from your apartment after it was set on fire. Again."
"I'm not David Copperfield. I didn't disappear, I walked away from their crap. I got out of the city because I figured it was the best option since a lunatic was looking for me," I said quietly as I watched a family of five walk in the building.
"Joseph called about ten minutes ago to say they had caught the guy when he showed up at an urgent care with burns," she replied. "Where are you?"
"I came to Philly. I had a nice day walking around and staying out of trouble."
"Well, that's something. Are you coming here since you can't go back to your apartment? Or will you be staying with Joseph?"
"I'll come there," I told her. "I'm done with Morelli and Ranger. I'm tired of them treating me like a child. If they ask, tell them I said to stay away. Don't let them in the house if they come over."
"But that would be rude. And why are you done with Joseph?"
"You don't get it, so I'm not going to bother explaining," I said. "I'll head back to Trenton. I'll call when I know what time my train will get in. Could you ask Dad to pick me up?"
I took the two hours between hanging up with my mother and climbing into my father's taxi to decide if I was really prepared to cut both men out of my life. And I knew the answer was yes. They didn't really add to my life. There was the great sex, companionship, and love, but those things didn't mean much without respect. I needed to stop turning to them for help. I always tried to take care of things myself, but I had my limits and that's where they stepped in. They could kick ass and take names. I was going to do that for myself. I just needed someone to teach me.
Morelli and Ranger were both parked in front of my parents' house when my father pulled into the driveway. They got out of their cars and headed towards me. I put up a hand to stop them.
"Don't even think about it," I told them. "I'm not talking to either of you. I'm done. I want you both out of my life."
I turned and headed towards the front door without looking back or waiting for a response. My father waited for me and closed the door once I was across the threshold. He locked the door and went back to his recliner.
"I'm going to bed," I told my mother as she came out of the kitchen. "I'll see you in the morning."
I went up to my old bedroom and closed the door. I had really wanted to go back to my Airbnb, but that would have meant going back to my apartment and picking up my car, which meant I was likely to be followed there. I kicked off my shoes and pulled my phone out of my bag. I turned it on and was inundated with notifications of text messages, missed calls, and voicemails. I ignored all of them and pulled up the web browser. I searched for defense training in Trenton and found several places that offered self-defense and hand-to-hand combat training. I wanted to find a woman to work with because I had a feeling men didn't get it and would just want to pat me on the head and teach me to keep my keys between my fingers. I found one studio in town run by a woman. She had a black belt in Jiu jitsu and taught various classes on self-defense, advanced defensive training, and martial arts. Her name was Jill Kowalski. I looked up prices for classes and winced slightly. Classes were $80 each, and her advanced training course consisted of ten weekly classes. But if it would make me a more effective bounty hunter, it would be worth the investment.
I woke up early the next morning and caught my father before he left for his first pick-ups of the day.
"Can you take me back to my apartment to get my car?" I asked him.
He nodded. "We gotta leave now because my first pick up is in a half-hour."
I grabbed my bag, declined something to eat from my mother, and hurried out after him. When my father dropped me off in my lot fifteen minutes later, I saw a Rangeman vehicle parked a few spaces down from my car. I climbed out of the cab and waved goodbye to my father as he pulled out of the lot. Once he was gone, I reached under the car and found the GPS tracker that Ranger had placed there after I bought the car. I carried it over to the Rangeman SUV. The passenger side window rolled down as I approached. It was Hal and another guy named John. I liked them but wondered if they took part in the bets their coworkers placed on me.
"You guys can go," I told them, handing the tracker to Hal. "Tell Ranger I don't need anyone watching me or tracking."
"He said we needed to stay at your apartment to make sure everything was okay," Hal said.
I nodded. "I get it. You're just doing your job, but here's the thing–," I began, pulling my gun out of my bag. "I don't need his help. I don't want his help." I walked around the SUV and shot out the front left tire, then moved to the front right one, and around to the rear and shot out the right tire back there. Both men got out of the car looking worried. "Tell him that happens to any vehicle I find following me. So unless he wants to keep the tire stores in business for the rest of the year, he needs to back off."
I walked back to my car while both guys stood at their now useless car. I hopped in and took off before any backup Rangeman guys appeared. I really wanted to get into my apartment to see if anything could be salvaged, but that was going to need to wait. I went back to the Airbnb and stripped out of the clothes I had been in for over twenty-four hours. I took a shower and changed into clothes that had been worn once already, but hadn't been through a fire, a fall down the stairs, and a sweaty trip to Philly. I had to be out by eleven, so I loaded up my stuff at ten-fifty-five and headed back to my apartment. I did a drive-by to see if there were any Rangeman vehicles needing their tires deflated, but there weren't any. The other one had already been hauled away.
"Hey, is my apartment cleared to go into?" I asked Dillion Ruddick, the building manager, a couple of minutes later when he answered his door.
"Uh, yeah," he said, looking as though I had just woken him up. "About that. The building owner is going to evict you. They said they've had enough of the explosions, fires, and break-ins. It'll take a little bit, but I wanted to give you the warning."
"Thanks," I said. "I'm not really surprised, except that they hadn't done it before now. I'm going to try to get out what I can salvage and then I'll drop off my keys in a few days."
The steel door had managed to survive the fire, but not much else in the living room. The carpet had been burned away to expose the floor beneath. I walked around the almost unrecognizable remains of my couch and side tables and into the kitchen. I had been dreading the sight of Rex's cage. I hadn't been able to take him with me to the Airbnb, so I had left enough water and food in his cage for several days. I couldn't see inside the glass container because it was covered in ash and smoke debris. The lid was already off, but I peeked inside and prepared myself. I didn't see him anywhere. I lifted his house and overturned his soup can, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. Had he gotten out? Had the fire fighters taken him out once they got the fire out? I moved everything in the tank to see if he was in there, but he wasn't. I looked around and called for him, but there wasn't any scurry of tiny feet.
I headed to my bedroom, which had sustained smoke and water damage. My bed was ruined, but the clothes in my dresser and closet had survived. Everything would need aired out and washed a couple of times but was likely still salvageable. I pulled a suitcase out of my closet and started packing up everything that I thought I would wear in the next couple of weeks. I would need to come back with boxes later for the rest of the stuff. I called my insurance agent while I packed and made an appointment the next day to meet them to start my claim.
I ran numbers in my head as I drove back to my parents' house. I had lived in that apartment because it had been cheap while also not being a health hazard. I had a feeling I wouldn't get that lucky again. Which meant I risked even more criminals, roaches, and toxic mold, or I got something more expensive.
"I need to stay here for a couple of weeks," I told my mother as I hauled my suitcase inside. "I'm being evicted, so I have to find a new apartment."
"I can't say I'm surprised," my mother said. "How many times has your apartment been set on fire?"
I didn't answer that question and took my suitcase to the laundry area. I got a load of laundry started and went to the kitchen to see what my mother was making for lunch.
"We're just having sandwiches today," she said. "Your grandmother and I are going to visit Michael and Anne in a little bit. Why don't you come with us?"
Michael was my mother's older brother. He and his wife lived in Egg Harbor Township. He was an electrician, and she was a hairdresser. They had three kids that were around the same ages as Valerie and me.
"Thanks, but I need to go to the bond's office. I need to work since I didn't get the money for bringing in Blake Thurston. I'm going to need deposit money for a new place."
I grabbed a chicken salad sandwich and ate it while I was on my way to the bond's office. I finished it by the time I pulled up out front, but I didn't get out of the car right away. I pulled out my phone and called Jill Kowalski's office number.
"Kowalski Studios," a woman answered.
"I would like to set up a consultation appointment with Jill," I said. "I'm interested in the self-defense classes."
We arranged a meeting for six-thirty on Thursday, which meant I had a couple of days to work and make money. I really wanted this, so I was willing to make whatever sacrifices necessary.
"We heard about your apartment," Connie said as I walked in. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I am. I'm getting evicted though, so it isn't my apartment for much longer. Do we have any new skips? I need money since I lost out on the Thurston capture."
"You're still getting your money," Connie said, pulling an envelope out of her desk. "Thurston got caught when he showed up at Urgent Care because he got set on fire when you fought back. I consider that means you brought him in, even if Vinnie disagrees."
Vinnie's office door slammed shut. It was clear they had been having this argument all day and he had given up. I accepted the envelope and let out a sigh of relief. I had really been counting on that payday and the idea that I had lost it had been weighing heavy on me. His bond had been set at $200,000, which meant I got $20,000 for returning him to jail.
"Thanks," I said. "I know he would have never paid me. What did you have on him?"
Connie gave a nonchalant shrug. "I just reminded him that he hasn't replaced our petty cash from when he borrowed it to visit a certain dominatrix last week, and that unless he wanted me to call Harry and report this, he would need to pay you for Thurston."
God, I loved my friends.
"Let's go spend some of that money," Lula said. "I need to hit the mall and get some new shoes."
"I can't. I need to put this in the bank and go apartment hunting. I'm sure any place I want is going to be a lot more than what I pay now, and I need to make sure I have enough money to get me through the times when I'm only getting small bonds."
"You should live in my neighborhood," Lula said. "I only pay $500 a month for my place."
"Your place is tiny. I'd feel like I was suffocating in there. Besides, I want a secure building. I'm tired of anyone just being able to walk up to my front door without having to be buzzed in."
"You do have a lot of crazy people knocking on your door," Lula agreed. "Then let's go apartment hunting. That sounds like fun, too."
"You do have two skips to pick up," Connie said, holding up to file folders. "But they're small bonds."
I signed the paperwork and took the files from her. Then we sat at Connie's computer searching for one-bedroom apartments with a controlled access entrance. Lula and I left the office an hour later with five buildings to look at.
"Okay, so we cannot tell anyone that I'm being evicted from my current place because it has been broken into and set on fire too many times," I told Lula. "I'll never be able to get a place if they know that. I'm going to say that I've been living with my parents ever since I left my boyfriend a few years ago. Got it?"
"Got it," Lula said. "I'm no snitch. It's none of their damn business why you need a new place."
The first building was in downtown Trenton and it was the most expensive. The apartment was okay, but not worth the price tag in my opinion. The next building's manager wasn't in the office, but the assistant manager told me that there had already been three applicants for the only available unit and one of them would get it. The third one was a renovated watch factory. It had been divided into two separate complexes. One was advertised as lofts, but it didn't have any openings. The other complex, which was called Trenton Watch Factory, had three units opens. The manager onsite was happy to give me a tour, and the first thing I noticed was how cool the building was. The lobby ceiling was two stories tall with all the exposed brick from when it had been an actual watch factory. There was a gym, conference room, and community room with pool tables and a small library on the first floor, along with the building managers office. The building was only three stories tall with all apartments being on the second and third floors, and each floor had a laundry room. Every apartment had a different layout. I was shown all three units, given the square footage and the price for each. The building had been renovated in the last couple of years, so everything still looked fresh. The living areas had hardwood floors and lots of tall windows, and the bedrooms had brand-new carpet. The bathrooms were modern and sleek. The price tag was a few hundred more than my old apartment had been, but it didn't stop me from filling out an application and paying the fee. I listed my parents address as my current residence and gave the sob story about being tired of living with them since breaking up with my boyfriend.
"I don't even need to look at the other two right now," I told Lula. "I'm in love with this one."
"It's pretty fucking sweet," Lula said as we headed out to the car. "I wish I could live here."
I prayed that Lula never came up with the money to move into my building. She was my friend and I loved her but living with her wasn't easy.
"Why did you put down your parents address? I figured you'd be staying with Morelli."
"I'm done with Morelli. And Ranger. Don't get me started, I'll just start yelling," I told her as I pulled away from the curb. "Let's go get our skips."
