Old Dog, New Tricks
An NCIS oneshot
by mew-tsubaki
Note: The NCIS characters belong to Donald P. Bellasario, not to me. Yet again, past seasons keep giving me feels. ;w; Read, review, and enjoy! *Note: Set during s13e24, "Family First."
- ^-^3
"This is your daughter, Tony."
Elbaz' words kept echoing in his head, even hours later.
"We found her in the aftermath… Her name is 'Tali.'"
Words and people's sympathies and the harsh realities of Ziva's case—and, ha, Ziva's case, which shouldn't exist—kept swirling around in Tony's head, a mini mental tornado of pressure that threatened to make him woozy. Tony sought out his armchair to sit, since there was no better place to steady himself here at home.
Other footsteps echoed in his apartment, coming from the kitchen: a heavier shuffling and the light trot with which he wasn't yet familiar. Those footsteps drew near, and Senior cleared his throat. "Uh, Junior?"
Tony didn't pick his head up. He rubbed that aching spot above his brow.
His father continued anyway. "You're, ah, out of a few necessities. I thought I'd pop out and fill your fridge for you. I'll be right back, but." He didn't finish his thought. He patted something beside him.
The next thing Tony knew, tiny Tali ambled into her father's line of sight.
"Keep an eye on her, Junior. Kids get into everything," he added with a chuckle in his voice. But Senior didn't stick around for Tony to pipe up. He headed out, taking care not to let the door shut with its usual loud thud behind him.
Senior's exit finally lured Tony somewhat into the present, and he peered down at his daughter. …he still couldn't get used to that word. Daughter.
Gibbs had had a daughter.
Ziva had been someone's daughter.
Now Tony had a daughter. With Ziva. And he hadn't known of her existence until Orli Elbaz flew in from Israel to update NCIS on the status of their end of the investigation into the farmhouse attack.
Tony locked eyes with Tali. He didn't yet know what to make of his two-year-old… Her hair was a light brown like his and her cheeks dimpled when she smiled, same as his did. But she'd only smiled while laughing at her toys and books in the conference room at NCIS while Elbaz briefed Vance, Tony, and Gibbs in the director's office.
Those curls, dark eyes, and steady gaze—that was all Ziva David.
Tony reached out and patted Tali's head, brushing a few stray curls back from her forehead.
Tali leaned into the touch with a contented toddler smile. Then she turned those big baby browns on him and curled her pudgy hands in the fabric of his pants by his right knee. "Where Imah?" she asked.
His heart twinged with a fresh pang of ache. The NCIS handbook and even his old Baltimore PD one contained detailed sections on making death notifications—but they didn't have sections covering informing your own family or breaking it to kids younger than five. "Imah's…not here right now," Tony settled on, forcing a tight grin to his face.
Tali cocked her head to one side.
Yeah, he probably wouldn't understand much at that age, either.
She frowned and backed off with a pout. Tali glanced around the room, as if seeing it again for the first time and taking in the piano and the bowl with Kate the goldfish and the otherwise pristine living quarters. She turned around and scurried towards the vestibule.
Tony sighed. He…was ill-prepared for this, to say the least. Yeah, so Ziva might've shown her Tony's picture so that Tali recognized him, and Tali wasn't so uncomfortable that she wouldn't approach him. But she was a shy child who spoke mostly Hebrew and broken bits of English.
They'd known each other for hours and would be interrupted soon again once McGee called Tony with an update about Kort's whereabouts, but already father and daughter were struggling to bond. How the heck did anyone do this for eighteen years?
Senior's reminder about children getting into trouble spurred Tony up out of his chair, though, and Tony rounded the corner, expecting to find Tali perhaps waiting for her grandfather by the door. Except she wasn't there.
Tony stared at the door. No, the handle and locks were out of reach… He put the locks on anyway and checked that it hadn't been budged. He took a brief peek into the kitchen (empty) and then checked the bathroom and…ultimately, he found Tali on the floor in his bedroom, rifling through her meager bag of belongings.
He leaned against the doorway while his panic subsided. Panic—Panic was something brief, fleeting, not meant to stay. The worries of parenthood? Those were permanent. It likely was why people tended to tackle parenthood in pairs.
And that idea sparked a new concern, especially in conjunction with the thought of his father… Tony never had imagined himself a father, with or without Ziva. The history of the DiNozzo men was kind of a bad omen for it. Not only were they not exactly saints, but, though he loved his father, he was terrified of following in Senior's footsteps.
And, so far, Tony was walking in them, grieving alone and meant to raise his kid by himself.
And kids… Kids! Tony's personal track record with kids was awful. Whether it came to ex-girlfriends (or ex-fiancées, in Wendy's case) or even while working an investigation, Tony had zero social skills for the tiny people. The rest of the team made it look so easy. Gibbs was a natural, having been a father himself. McGee was part kid himself, with his love of videogames and tech. And even Ziva…kids they encountered during cases often found the Mossad ninja cool, but, then again, who didn't?
At the thought of his late love, Tony pushed off the doorjamb and joined Tali on the floor, not disturbing her but wanting to be close anyway.
…he wondered if maybe there were some parental instinct, deep down, he could rely on in lieu of skill or experience. Always, he'd been convinced that if Anthony DiNozzo, Jr., were a family man, then that family would be two people and no more than that. But it struck him now, being present with Tali as she triumphantly located a small photo album he'd mistaken earlier for one of her picture books, that maybe he wasn't completely off the mark.
Of course a family could be two people…because Ziva was gone, and this little girl, Ziva's little girl, his—their—little girl needed a family.
Tali whipped her head around and up, not surprised at all to find her father sitting beside her. She beamed at him and held the book up. "Abba! Imah, here!"
Tony blinked back the fresh dampness in his eyes and offered Tali a smile. He took the book and cracked it open, stunned by the array of pictures Ziva had selected, since he was familiar with so many of them. "Yeah…yeah, Tali, Imah here."
"Imah tofo!"
That one made him smile genuinely for the first time since he'd heard about the farmhouse. If that little syllable reversal was any sort of hint of her future struggle with English words and idioms, then Tony knew he at least had plenty of experience to exercise in one area. "Imah's photo, Tali," he corrected. He tousled her hair and propped the photo album open on one knee.
And Tali, sweet and shy thing, curled around his other, snuggling against him as if it were story time.
Despite the constant reminders of Ziva and of his heartbreak, Tony decided in that moment that it didn't matter, his awful track record with kids. Tony was going to put in the effort for this family—his family.
For Ziva as well as for Tali.
- ^-^3
Done for the If You Dare Challenge (for prompt #727: instincts) in the HPFC forum on FFN. SO. 8'D Anyone else's heart breaking, despite the good things we know about later seasons? I wanted a snapshot of a bunch of things here: Tony's grief from then, his struggles with fatherhood being dropped on him, his concerns about being good enough for Tali. Originally my notes had this set after the team settled the score with Kort (which, don't get me started on that, bc I never liked the thread of turning Kort into a bad guy), but I changed it to during the investigation, bc I like the idea of Tony trying to bond with Tali early on. He needed this moment with her. :') Funnily enough, the inspo for this came not from s13 itself but from an earlier season (idr which ep), during one of numerous eps showing Tony's terrible social skills with kids. It's canon, and I do like how he tried to work on it in the series, but the poor guy! X'D I like to think he's doing a fine job raising Tali, tho. ;) …esp if she inherited her mother's speech patterns.
Thanks for reading, and please review! Check out my other NCIS fics if you liked this. And, as with my other NCIS fics, show your support via tumblr with a reblog~
-mew-tsubaki :D
