Heart to Heart
A/N: As an avid Pride and Prejudice (and Jane Austen) fan, I particularly adore the relationship between Elizabeth and Mr Bennet. He might not have been the best husband – or even the best father to all his daughters – but he and Lizzie clearly share a wonderfully close and loving bond. I know that both their views are quite modern for the time period, but on the other hand, I think we do see vague hints of Mr Bennet (and by extension, Lizzie) being far more progressive than typical upper and middle-class English society of the era. This missing scene could fit into both the book and the movie (2005).
I sincerely hope you like it. Enjoy :) :)
Uneasiness coiled like a serpent in Elizabeth's heart, contrasting with the golden sunshine bathing the young day; and a most unwelcome feeling of self-doubt and diffidence simmered in her breast, as her mind mulled over the turbulent occurrences of that eventful morning.
She had turned down Mr Collins' proposal of marriage, with every ounce of vehement passion she had the capacity to muster – and yet he had repeatedly refused, in a most impertinent and vexatious manner, to consider the validity of her refusal.
Mr Collins, that odious cousin, of whom she had had quite a low opinion almost from the beginning of their acquaintance … He was self-important, self-congratulatory, pompous, and dull-witted – his long, pretentious, sermon-like speeches grated on her nerves with undeniable irritation. He was spiritless, with neither intellect nor wit to recommend him, possessing nothing of the passion that she did. Her mind perpetually likened him to a spineless worm. His character was shallow, and vain, and gaudy; in short, Mr William Collins did not possess a single one of the attributes which she so coveted in another; the characteristics of spirit mirroring hers that might equal her own. Every instinct, every sentiment rebelled against the idea of accepting him. And yet …
Mama had insisted upon her marrying Mr Collins. The estate of Longbourn was pledged to Papa's heir by the entail; and she, Elizabeth, was bound by duty to accept with the fullest gratitude his proffered hand. A little of the financial burdens upon her family would be alleviated. It was plain for all to see that Jane and Mr Bingley were quite enamoured with each other – the whole family expected an engagement in the forthcoming weeks, if not days. Yes, her sister was happily in love, it was true – and should she and Jane make respectable marriages, their place in society would be greatly uplifted, acquiring a strong foothold among the peerage. Her younger sisters – Mary, and Kitty, and Lydia – empty-headed and invariably silly though they were, would receive advantageous offers likewise. There was no visible way in which she – or anyone – would not benefit from an alliance with Mr Collins.
But the fact remained, stubborn and solid, that she was not in love with him. She never would be – that fact was beyond dispute. The prospect of marriage to such a man filled her with dread; a life completely devoid of humour, of wit, of sparkling laughter, of the intensity of the deepest love and mutual admiration she coveted, in body and soul! Did her own happiness count for nothing? And still that insidious pang of guilt stirred, reminding her of what she was depriving her family of by her refusal.
Mr Collins' words resounded within the confines of her mind. It is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made to you. She could not deny it; it was true. Much as his patronising words had ignited her heart with indignation at the time they had been uttered, she could not deny the legitimacy in them. Her dear Papa – God bless him – would not, after all, live forever. And when he did, Mr Collins would have the undisputed right to throw her mother, herself, and every one of her unmarried or unattached sisters into the unforgiving chokeholds of poverty. When that time came, would she reminisce about this present moment, wondering if the suffering that wrecked them might have been averted, if she had not been so stubborn? If she had had the wisdom to foresee the foolishness of her rejection, wondering if she made the right choice? She was fond of her mother and sisters, yes, much as they frequently exasperated her; she would not be able to bear the guilt of responsibility of their misery. Was the price of her equal companion to be the ruin of her family?
Conviction was fast deserting her, dissipating like sand in an hourglass. Her mind told her one thing; her heart quite another.
Her brow cleared presently; and her footsteps led her to a well-familiar location in the house. Her Papa's library. On many occasions during girlhood her childish feet had pattered into its vast recesses; to find her father engaged in some volume or other by a comforting fire. Elizabeth had never ceased to revel in the quiet peace that particular room afforded; a sense of calm, of sense and rationality, prevailed there; a respite from the relentless tumult and humdrum disorderliness that governed the rest of their unruly household. Long evenings spent at her father's feet, in unbroken, cherished silence. As time passed, deeper had grown her faith in him – her confidant, besides darling Jane – the one person in the family she could trust to provide her with the wisest (if enigmatic) counsel.
She knocked at the door and tentatively pushed it open.
Mr Bennet was seated, as usual, near the fireplace, spectacles perched upon his crooked nose. White hair flowed about his shoulders, the aged eyes absorbed, as usual, in deciphering the fine print of a leather-bound volume.
"Papa?"
"What is it, Lizzy?"
Temporary reticence bound her tongue. How was she to explain herself – the multitude of contradictory sentiments swelling within her? Duty decreed that she must marry Mr Collins – and yet the idea of acceptance repulsed her. Above all, had she done the right thing?
Soft, grey-blue eyes met her dark ones, waiting.
"I sought your advice, sir."
"I surmised as much, my dear, but I urge you to explain yourself more clearly in order to be well counselled."
"I came to ask whether I acted rightly by refusing Mr Collins' offer." Elizabeth hesitated a little, words seeming to fail her. Mr Bennet waited, surveying her over the joined tips of his fingers.
"Papa, I … sense and propriety – and of course, Mama – decree that the wisest course of action would be to accept him. There can be no disadvantage in the connexion, surely, but for the fact that the very notion of marriage to Mr Collins disgusts me inexpressibly. I feel no fondness for our cousin, Papa, and I never can. And yet, conflict reigns over my heart; for he will at one time have every authority to cast us out of this house, and I cannot bear the shame and remorse of having spurned the opportunity to spare my mother and sisters their poverty and suffering."
Silence prevailed for a few moments. Mr Bennet said calmly, with steady conviction –
"My dearest Lizzy, valid and most commendable though your intentions and concerns may be on behalf of your family – I maintain my stance. You must not marry Mr Collins, though it pains me to countermand your mother's rather forceful declarations."
Elizabeth sank down in an armchair opposite him, her heart borne upon the winds. She had rather thought, when faced with practical aspects of the matter, that her father might reconsider, urging her after all to heartily consent to the marriage. She ought to have known him better. Her unworldly father simply did not face facts, however impassable.
"I am well acquainted, Lizzy, with your character and disposition. The situation and circumstances demand that you immediately accept Mr Collins' proposal of marriage with the utmost alacrity. But I know my daughter better than to imagine she would be at all happy in a marriage where she is neither respected, nor loved, nor valued – and it would pain me immeasurably to witness you being subjected to the very same unhappiness that has plagued your mother and myself for the last three-and-twenty years."
The candour in those words was unmistakable. Elizabeth had long since come to the conclusion that her parents' marriage was one devoid of any real affection; its present facets were dominated by keeping well out of each other's way, raising five daughters, and mere tolerance.
Mr Bennet leaned closer, taking her soft hands in his.
"Besides," he continued, "you – and perhaps Jane – are the only two women in this family with a modicum of sense. My dear Lizzy, if I must part with my two most deserving daughters … let it be to men entirely worthy of them."
Tears glimmered in Elizabeth's eyes.
"Your refusal of Mr Collins today has not blackened my good opinion of your judgement, Lizzy – on the contrary, it has only sealed my belief in your remarkable power of perception, which may do well to aid you, should you ever need it in this wicked world of ours."
"Thank you, Papa," said Elizabeth, in a voice uncharacteristically choked with emotion, tenderly pressing her lips to the wrinkled hand. "Very, very much."
Mr Bennet smiled a smile of satisfaction. Exceeding sentimentality, however, was not something he routinely indulged.
"Right. Be off with you," he said with a dismissive gesture of his hand, taking up the heavy leather volume and replacing the glasses on his nose. "I have quite enough to be getting on with." But the twinkle in his eyes was impossible for him to conceal.
Elizabeth's lips fluttered into a grin, her faith in her passionate rejection restored. Dear Papa, she thought fondly, may God bless and keep you. She cast a glance toward the hunched, white-haired figure in the armchair by the fire, and with a spring in her step exited the library.
A/N: I felt it was important to demonstrate Mr Bennet's implicit faith in his daughter's judgement of people, which may have fed Elizabeth's pride. She believed she had the measure of Mr Darcy in believing he had wronged Wickham, when in fact she terribly misjudged the situation. Her father's praise of her may have contributed to her vanity.
Thanks so much for reading! This is my first Pride and Prejudice fic, so I'm quite apprehensive since I've only written for Downton Abbey so far :) Reviews would be a lovely treat!
