Xander of Space

Author's Note: I recently talked about Masters of Space by E. E. Smith with a friend and thought of adding it to this series.
Disclaimer: I do not own either BTVS or Masters of Space.

Chapter One
When he saw the Scoobies enter the library looking upset Giles asked, "What's wrong?"

"Snyder volunteered us for the annual Halloween escort program," Buffy said. "I don't think I'll be able to patrol."

"Well there's some good news there, " Giles said. "The program ends at seven p.m. so there would be plenty of time to patrol if it was needed."

"It's not?" Xander asked. "I thought Halloween would be big for the undead."

Giles shook his head, "No, in this century at least they avoid going out on the holiday if at all possible. It's theorized that they are offended by how commercial it has gotten but I couldn't say if that's correct or not."

"Well that's a silver lining at least," Willow said.

"We do still have to escort sugared up rug-rats," Buffy said. "And costumes are mandatory so it's still not a great night but we'll survive I guess."

Willow said, "Are you coming with us Xan? Or going to make your own?"

"I'll come look at the accessories but I'm mostly making it from scratch," Xander said.

Once at the store Xander changes his mind. He saw a costume and wanted it on sight.

"Well he's got one," Buffy said. "Now we just need ours."

"I'm going to be a ghost," Willow said. "I've been a ghost for ten years and see no reason to stop."

"Marcie Ross," Buffy said. She couldn't go into detail in public but when she saw Willow's eyes widen she knew her point was made.

Willow pouted briefly then nodded, "Darn. Okay, then I need a costume. Any ideas?"

Buffy said, "I'm sure we can find something great. Let's go look." Buffy held up what she considered to be a conservative outfit, "What about this?"

Willow looked, "Red Riding Hood? The skirt is a little short but it's not bad. Do you think it's me?"

Buffy nodded, "Yes, now we just need to get Xander acting like a wolf."

Willow grinned, "I'll take it. What are you getting? Pirate? You could bring a real sword in your scabbard, y'know, just in case?"

"Well it's supposed to be safe so maybe I'll go with something girlier," Buffy said. "Something Angel might like." She pointed at a very fancy dress with a long skirt and petticoats, "Something like that."

"You always tell me boys like to see skin," Willow said. "Does that stop when they get older?"

"Not as far as I can tell," Buffy said.

"Then wouldn't Angel rather see you in something," she paused, "smaller?"

Buffy thought about that for a moment, "Good point Wills. Slutty costumes here I come." After some thought she chose the pirate wench over the naughty nun. The night might not be as quiet as Giles expected and this way she could just hide a stake in the sword belt and keep the costume on while on patrol and talking to Angel.

A little more than an hour later Joyce opened the door to an odd sight, "Who are you supposed to be Xander?"

"Jarvis Hilton, from Masters of Space," Xander said. "It's an old science fiction book by E. E. Smith." He was a skin colored bodysuit with full sleeves and legs, "And yes I'm wearing my normal clothes under it."

Joyce laughed, "Good to know. Come on in. I'm sure the girls will be down soon."

Buffy came down in a pirate wench costume with a plastic sword that she was planning to replace once she got to the school library, "Hi Xan! Going to explain your costume while we wait for Willow?"

Xander grinned, "That looks amazing on you! And sure, I'll explain. It's from an old book by E. E. Smith. They sent out a ship looking for fuel and they found it but they also found an enemy looking to conquer the galaxy and an ally. They joined with the alien ally and got an upgrade to be faster, stronger, and smarter. It was a pretty cool book."

Buffy said, "Thanks. I'll just go check on Willow."

From upstairs both he and Joyce could hear a conversation between Buffy and Willow.

First Willow's voice, "I've changed my mind. I need a longer skirt."

"Willow .." Buffy's voice trailed off.

"I know I can't get one but I can't wear this one!"

"You look good. You should be proud to be seen in that. Besides, if you don't show up you'll get detention."

"He's a poophead but maybe I can get my parents to write me a note," Willow said.

"You're parents won't be back for two weeks and I don't think that will work anyway."

"Okay, then I just need a sheet and some scissors," Willow said.

"I'm not letting you cut up mom's sheets Willow. You need to get over this shyness," Buffy said. "Either you go downstairs on your own or I'll carry you down over my shoulder and proclaim you're my pirate wench."

"Uhhh," Willow said.

Buffy laughed, "Something you want to tell me? You looked pretty happy at that idea."

"Eep! I'm going, I'm going."

Soon they both appeared on the stairs. Willow leading and blushing furiously. Buffy followed behind her smirking.

Xander said, "You look great Willow! Are you ladies ready to go?"

Buffy said, "Yes, we should get going before we're late." Then in a supposedly piratical accent, "Avast ye scurvy dogs! Let us away to visit that landlubber Snyder."

"I can't believe he paired me with you," Cordelia said.

"Me neither," Xander said.

"Oh! As if I'm not far out of your league!" she said hotly.

"Oh, you are," Xander said. "That's why I'm surprised."

She glared at him a minute then decided he was sincerely agreeing, "Well try not to be too weird, you might frighten the kids."

He smiled and winked at the kids from behind her back, "Yes, Cordelia."

"Oh, let's just get this done," she said.

They were on their way back with the kids when the pulse of magic caught them.

Cordelia was unchanged but saw Xander suddenly stumble and then the body stocking he was wearing disappeared, "Good thing you were wearing clothes under that thing. What's going on?"

Jarvis Hilton stood and surveyed the area around him. He saw a human teen and several human children but also several things that shouldn't exist and what looked like some young aliens mixed in.

"Well?" Cordelia asked, "Are you going to answer me?"

"I do not know what is going on but I will find out," he said. "I suggest you take these children somewhere safe."

She was about to tell him off for thinking of leaving her with the kids but he ran off too fast. In fact he was moving far too fast to be normal. "Huh," she said. Then "Alright you rug-rats! Stay close and I'll get you back to school safely. Don't touch anything and don't talk on the way. We don't want anything's attention."

Elsewhere a pirate lass and Red Riding Hood were also wondering what was going on. Red pulled an ax from her basket of goodies as the evening seemed a dangerous one and the pirate pulled a cutlass.

A lot of people were inconvenienced and confused but it did not last long enough to cause too much damage. The being who thought himself Jarvis Hilton used his other senses to find the source of the strangeness, broke into the shop, and confronted Ethan Rayne.

"Are you aware that what you are doing is putting children in danger?" Hilton asked.

"Just a spot of chaotic fun to please my patron god and hopefully draw out an old friend who has become far too respectable," Ethan said.

Hilton strode past him and smashed the statue then staggered as he became Xander once more.

The next day was Saturday and the three of them met Giles at the library.

"I now know a lot more about sailing and I think I'm better than I used to be with sword and dagger together," Buffy said.

"I now have knowledge of how to survive in the woods," Willow said. Her family lived in deep woods and she would gather fruit and berries every day. I also learned a few pie recipes."

"I became a different subspecies of human last night and I'm stuck," Xander said. "It has the benefits of being damn hard to kill and an average lifespan of about five thousand years. Also comes with higher calorie requirements and the need to absorb lots of energy directly through the skin." He held up a long steel nail then easily coiled it into a spiral, "I'm stronger as well."

"I'm sorry it affected you so strongly," Giles said. "Might I ask what energy you need to absorb?"

"Solar is the only one that's widely available," Xander said. "In the book they used nuclear radiation too but that wouldn't be safe. Then again they didn't have magic. I think I'm absorbing some of that as well."

"Want to arm wrestle?" Buffy said. "Just so I know what to expect on patrol."

"Sure," he agreed and they discovered he was not quite as strong as her but had a lot more stamina. She was breathing hard by the end but he felt no strain.

"Can I get in on this?" came a voice from the doorway.

"Cordelia?" Xander asked.

"Yes, and I've read Masters of Space," Cordelia replied. "How close to the book are you and can you convert someone?"

"Well in theory," he replied. "I've never actually done it before. Are you sure you want to be the first?"

"Well if you ever answer my first question then I'll know," she replied.

"Well I've only been one since last night. Food gets turned into energy, sunlight gets turned into energy, and magic gets turned into energy," he said.

"Sunlight works?" she interrupted.

He nodded, "Yeah, but you have to be nearly naked to get enough to be useful. Otherwise it's like a trickle charge, adding to the total but not enough by itself. Food isn't enough alone either. Sitting above a hellmouth is plenty but hazardous in other ways as you know."

She snorted, "I think I have a bikini small enough to count and if it doesn't I have a screened in backyard. What else?"

He held up a long nail and poked his palm hard with it, "Much tougher skin but no loss of sensation." He crushed the nail into a ball, "I already mentioned the strength. Don't think my senses are any better. If you read the book then you remember they had to be trained to use that weird sense of perception."

She nodded, "Yeah and we have no Omans here. Which is too bad."

"Might be for the best," he said. "So should I try to get the conversion tech made? I'm going to need funds."

"I don't think even my allowance will cover buying a building," she said. "Even if you will make quite a bit for yourself and any investors if you can patent anything. Maybe Giles has a slush fund to use for this kind of thing or you can get Willow to do some hacking to set it up?"

Willow shrugged, "I could but I would need more incentive than because you want it."

"I'll be the test subject," she replied. "If I go first you can get it done with no worries."

"I'm not sure I want to stop being human," Willow said.

"I could use the help but I don't have any cash to donate," Buffy said.

Giles said, "I don't have money for upgrading people who help the slayer because the council doesn't think anyone should work with a slayer except a field watcher."

"You guys have been running the council for millenia," Cordelia said. "I can't believe you don't have deep pockets."

"They might, but I don't," Giles said. "I have to submit expense reports for whatever I pay for. If I buy a crossbow or a sword that's fine. High tech gear and a place to build things? Not fine at all."

She turned back to Willow and leaned on the table in front of her, "Is there anything I can offer you to get him what he needs?"

Willow blushed, "I can't think of anything. What are you offering?"

Cordelia looked at Willow's eyes then down at her cleavage and back up at Willow who blushed harder. "You sure you don't want to be an Ardan? You'd never sunburn again. We could suntan together by the pool."

"I .. I'll think about it," Willow said.

Cordelia turned to Xander, "If you need a place to sun to keep up your energy you can join me." She grinned, "Or us, if Willow comes along."

"Is that where I can find you when I decide?" Willow asked, still blushing.

"Sure, it's a nice sunny Saturday," Cordelia replied. "And I have a new string bikini to try out." With that she left the library.

After a few nights Buffy decided Xander was an excellent patrol partner. Angel had better senses but Xander didn't have to leave when dawn was near.

Willow got him the title to the old CRD building and an account to stash money taken from vamps and other demons. Xander used his new abilities to fund himself and his attempts to rebuild Ardan technology with loot.

Willow spent an hour every Saturday updating Cordelia on the progress of the funding she was able to scrounge from the internet and how far Xander was getting. If she chose to do it while Cordelia was sunning by the pool, that was just a coincidence, or so she said. After the first time she got Xander to join them in a speedo.

Epilogue
By the time Cordelia's father was caught cheating on his taxes Xander had sold a few patents and bought a house. So he had a spare bedroom to offer her along with his own pool and backyard to sun in. After she moved in, a romance started between them and they stayed together despite Willow flirting with them both.

Xander made a few energy weapons for Buffy and anyone patrolling with her. Later he made bigger ones to take down the mayor at graduation. The summer after he finally finished the tech to convert a person and Cordelia was its first customer as she had said.

Willow never got up the courage to ask for a threesome and eventually she met Tara and stopped wanting anyone else. Xander converted both of them next and Tara survived rather than dying to Warren's bullet.