"So, who's going first?" Tolkien asked. Clyde, Tolkien, and Tweek had decided to spend the day at the newly opened South Park Junkyard. Or more accurately, Tolkien and Clyde had decided, and Tweek had been dragged along anxiously rambling about used needles, rusty metal, and all sorts of other death inducing trash. He'd almost had an aneurysm when Clyde had suggested building a bike ramp using the hill of trash and a large piece of sheet metal he found, but building it had actually been kind of fun. Having something to do usually calmed Tweek down, and by the time they had finished, he was smiling and joking with his friends. That is, until tolkien asked that fateful question.
"ONETWOTHREE NOT IT!" Yelled Clyde, touching his nose.
"Not It!" Followed Tolkien, leaving Tweek the last one without a hand on his face.
"W-wait, What?!" Tweek exclaimed.
"Come on Tweek, It'll be fun!" Clyde said. Tolkien noticed the way Tweek tugged harshly on his collar, one of his many nervous ticks. a
"Don't worry dude, you'll be fine."
It was easier said than done. Tweek thought. All he did was worry.
Tweek dragged his bike to the top of the pile and lined it up. His head jerked involuntarily to the side, and he wished he had brought some coffee with him.
"Ready Tweek?" Clyde called as Tweek got on his bike.
"Yeah, maybe? Ngh! I-I think so!" Tweek tried his best to take deep breaths and ignore how shaky his hands were as he placed them on the handle bars.
"Okay then, ready, Go!" Tweek pushed off and sped down the hill. He was going really fast. Too fast. What if he broke through the ramp!? Or what if he shot off it so fast he flew into space and suffocated!?
"Gah!" Tweek cried as he yanked his handlebars to the side, missing the ramp. He managed to throw himself off the bike just before it crashed into another trash heap.
"Tweek! Are you okay?!" Tolkien asked as he and Clyde ran after him.
"Y-Yeah I'm fine. Sorry I didn't use the ramp." Tolkien helped Tweek up and he brushed the dirt off his pants.
"It's totally fine. We shouldn't have made you do that anyway." Clyde said as he tugged Tweek's bike out of the wreckage. There was something stuck in the spokes of one of the wheels. A very old looking oil lamp.
"Hey guys, look!" Clyde pulled the lamp out and showed it off to the other two. "It's like the lamp from Aladdin!" He began to rub the lamp as he announced in an over the top voice, "Oh genie of the lamp I summon you!"
"What do you want?" The unfamiliar voice came from Clyde's left. All three boys looked over to see a boy about their age, dressed in loose fitting clothes with a chullo covering his messy black hair. He also appeared to be floating in the air. Tolkien, Tweek, and Clyde all screamed in terror.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!" Tolkien screamed.
"My name's Craig, I'm a genie, and since you found my lamp you get one wish each. So hurry it up." The genie spoke in a monotone voice, and his body language and expression made it clear he didn't want to be there. Tolkien and Clyde hadn't seemed to notice though, wrapped up in the excitement of it all.
"Now, we should probably think about this-" Tolkien started only to be interrupted by Clyde.
"I wish chicks were all over me!" Clyde exclaimed. Craig smirked mischievously.
"As you wish." He snapped his fingers and suddenly Clyde was covered in tiny yellow birds. The chicks peeped excitedly, Pecking and Clyde curiously.
"Ah! What the hell man!" Clyde whined, frantically trying to get the little creatures off of him without hurting them."This isn't what I wished for!"
"Yes it is. You asked for chicks, I gave you chicks." Craig replied, still smiling.
"Damn it Clyde! I told you to think your wish through!" Tolkien said as he scooped a baby bird off of Clyde's head. "I wish you would listen to me for five fucking seconds!" As soon as the words left his mouth, Tolkien clapped both hands over it, but it was too late.
"As you wish." Craig said, snapping his fingers. Clyde stopped squirming from all the chicks and stared at Tolkien, listening intently.
"Well, might as well not waste this chance. First off, you look before you leap. One of these days-"
"OH GOD TOLKIEN I THINK ONE OF THEM'S POOPING!" Clyde cried as he resumed his weird little dance. The five seconds had, evidently, passed.
"Guess it's your turn, make it quick, I've got another thousand years of solitude to get to." Craig said, turning his attention to Tweek.
"I-I…" Tweek stammered, thousand ideas flooding into his head already. How was he supposed to know the right choice? there were just way too many.
"Tweek, just take some time and think about it ok?" Tolkien tried to reassure, but Craig was looking at him with a bored expression that would evolve into irritation if he didn't pick soon. Tolkien and Clyde hadn't gotten what they wanted so he had to word it carefully. What if he wished for a thousand bucks and they all got crushed under a stampede of deer? Or if he wished to be famous and was put on the F.B.I. Most wanted list. There were just too many ways it could all go wrong.
"I-I can't! It's too much pressure man! AH! Way too much pressure!" Tweek screamed, grabbing his hair and pulling at it. Tolkien and Clyde just stared at him, they wanted to help their friend but they never knew what to do when he got like this. Tweek tugged at his hair even harder, scrunching his eyes shut. His breath was too fast and everyone was staring at him and he couldn't think! "GAH! I WISH I COULD JUST CALM DOWN!"
Suddenly, soft hands were gently holding his wrists and a calm, clear voice rang in his ears.
"Hey, look at me." Tweek opened his eyes to see Craigs face. His expression was no longer the apathetic look it had been before, but was instead soft and focused on him. Normally people looking at him only made Tweek panic more, but Looking into Craig's eyes seemed to ground him somewhat. The genie slowly pulled the blonde's hands out of his hair as he continued. "Breathe in for four seconds." Tweek obeyed counting to four in his head as he sucked in a breath. "Good. Hold for seven seconds." Seven seconds of staring at Craig's ocean blue eyes. They were absolutely stunning. And Tweek decided he wouldn't mind staring into those eyes forever. "Now out for eight seconds." They repeated the process a couple of times, until Tweeks breathin no longer hitched and his heart no longer beat out of his chest.
"Th-Thanks." He said. "I guess that was my wish then… I really blew it."
"That wish was an accident, I think you get a do over." Craig said.
"Hey, What about my wish, why did that one count?!" Tokien said, earning a middle finger from Craig as his only reply. Tweek looked around, thinking. Craig had helped him out, maybe he should wish for something for him, as a thank you. But what would I genie want? His eyes landed on the lamp, and he had an idea.
"Craig, do you like being a genie?" He asked timidly.
"Are you kidding?" Craig laughed, before his face hardened. "Of course I don't. It sucks. I'm trapped in that stupid lamp most of the time. And even when I am let out, it's just to fullfill peoples stupid wishes. I once had a guy argue with me for three hours straight on why I should give him infinite wishes. I'd give anything to just be a normal kid."
"Well then," Tweek started softly, his voice became stronger as he said the next words though, "I wish you were a normal kid." Craig looked surprised for a moment, then smiled,
"As you wish." With a snap, Craig was standing with both feet on the ground. His genie outfit was replaced with a blue coat and jeans. He kept the hat however. "Thanks… I uh, never got your name."
"It's Tweek. Nice to meet you." Tweek stuck out his hand and Craig took it, the handshake lasting a bit longer than necessary.
"This is real sweet you guys now can you please help me with these birds!?"
