"Is this a raccoon?"

"What? No," the princess laughed nervously and stepped in front of the man that could decide Corona's fate with a simple stroke of his feather. "No, of course not." Her ridiculous huge ball gown did a splendid job blocking his view.

"Hahaha. Raccoon's in the castle. Good one." Rapunzel linked her arm in his and pulled him in the opposite direction from where Ruddiger was clearly sitting and munching on a bright red apple.

So far the night was a solid 2 out of 10 on the doom scale. Admittedly there had been a tiny kitchen debacle, which was very unfortunate. And Shorty being Shorty was absolutely not helpful yet expected. However, with Varian entering the picture things could go south in mere seconds. He was an explosion waiting to happen.

Unnoticed by the aristocrat she motioned at Eugene, who reacted immediately.

"I could have sworn…" The man turned around to find nothing but a proper decorated table with a giant fruit basked in its center and the fiance of the princess innocently waving at him. He smiled so big the Minister thought he had to be careful not to strain a muscle.

"Where were we? Right the political situation of…"

Eugene wasn't listening any longer. The rambunctious critter started to wiggled behind his back and he had to let go. Not that this was a problem. Eugene knew what the mischievous fella was after. There was only one thing Ruddiger liked better than an apple. Two apples!

With forced composure, Rapunzel came over to them. She had managed to pass the Ambassador on to Nigel. Those two geezers were made for each other, with the only exception that Nigel was a party animal compared to the other guy. How could a person be so utterly dull? Eugene wanted to smack his own head against the wall the minute the man opened his mouth. He was so freaking boring. So when his lovely soon-to-be-wife begged him with a terrified expression for help who was he to deny?

"He is out! Please Eugene, you have to do something. I just, I can't - "

"You're sure?"

"Please. He is an explosion waiting to happen."

"Fair enough. Don't worry darling," he reassured and gently nudged her towards their waiting visitor. "I got it."

"Thanks."

Thanks indeed. Honestly, Eugene was three steps away from staging a security breach himself to get away. The alchemist was the perfect excuse to escape this snoozefest. Still, Blondie was exaggerating. What's the worst that could happen? A little mishap here and there, but nothing groundbreaking. The earth started to shake and Eugene cursed. Of course. Appalled chandeliers rattled and the rest of the furniture was trembling as well.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," Nigel's voice was calm with a hint of annoyance.

The detonation was one of the bigger ones the castle had seen recently and Eugene's stomach dropped. Too fresh was his experience from earlier to brush it simply off. Images of a destroyed laboratory and a limb body covered in red flooded his mind. Without wasting another moment he hurried down the hall and instantly crashed into -

"Varian!"

He was fine. Totally fine. Not a single hair harmed or burned or otherwise.

"That's a lot of hugging for one day," Varian muffled when Eugene pressed him against the ugliest doublets he had ever seen.

"Shut up, don't ruin this."

"I should probably check the lab. There was -"

"Oh no, you don't! Vacation. Now!"

"Huh?"

The way Eugene told him to take a relaxing break sounded suspiciously like being grounded.

"But I didn't do -"

Eugene was having none of it.

"Let's go, young man! You are gonna have a great and very save time playing in the fields and rediscover the wonders of mother nature."

"Urgh, let me at least -"

"I'll take care of it."

Varian rolled his eyes. Seriously, just a 10-minute kitchen raid and a tiny unsupervised explosion, and everyone treats you like you were 5-year-old again.

Eugene guided him out of the castle towards a waiting carriage. "To old Corona," he told Stan and Pete, who stood guard.

"But -" Pete tried to intervene.

"No butts. Captain's order." Why was everyone talking back to him today?

"Eugene wait this isn't - "

Too late. Ruddiger jumped into Varian's arms while the former thief gave the horse's backside a small but highly encouraging smack and into the night they went.

"Love you. By. Have fun."