Chapter 3.
"Sam, I swear to God, if you keep bouncing that leg you are going to lose shotgun privileges!", Dean snapped while Sam was fidgeting in the passenger's seat.
"I didn't want shotgun! You forced me here! I much preferred to be in the back with Jess, to check that she is all right, especially after what happened"
"For the billionth time, Sam, I am fine"
"See, she's fine!" Dean said, pointing at the back seat. "Plus, who leaves a driver alone during a 1.5 thousand mile road trip? I need a co-pilot, a DJ and a snack manager."
"You never let me touch the radio, we are not allowed to eat in the car and you don't need directions!", Sam replied, frustrated.
"Yeah but your incessant nagging keeps me awake", Dean laughed. Jess laughed in the backseat too. She couldn't say she was enjoying this, but it could have been worse. Dean was a bit rough around the edges, but she could tell that he had a good heart. He also brought out the best and the worst in Sam, at the same time. And every now and then, for a few seconds, she would manage to forget about yellow-eyes and the horrors she'd been through and feel normal again. Although Jess was beginning to wonder if she'd ever feel normal. There were parts of this that she had not considered in the heat of the moment, when she jumped almost blindly into the back seat of the Impala, like what would she tell her parents, her brother? Would she ever feel safe enough to be around them again? Surely, she could not tell them the truth and put their lives in great peril. Even if there was no imminent danger, this was not a burden she'd want to lay on them. She understood now why Sam had no real friends or family outside of Stanford, and it all became a bit too real to her. She could feel tears forming in the corner of her eyes. She wiped them quickly; she knew if Sam would see her that he would worry and maybe even try to back out. And although Jess knew very little of this monster hunter lifestyle, she was certain running away from threats was not the right approach.
"So, what's our game plan?", she asked more to force herself to snap out of her train of thought.
"We find dad", Dean replied. "Then, we compare notes and make a game plan. Try again, Sam"
Dean's plan seemed to be sound proof, minus one issue – their dad was not picking up. They had tried three or four different numbers, with no success. The only lead they had was that their father was in Lost Creek, Colorado hunting something called a Wendigo. Jess had of course heard stories about wendigos, but she always thought those were excuses the family members would tell themselves to explain why one of their loved ones would go crazy and start eating people back in the day.
"Still nothing", Sam finally concluded after letting the phone ring for what seemed like 20 rings more than phones should ring. "One number is disconnected, two are turned off and the other one is just ringing, no voice messaging service available, neither."
"So we keep on towards Colorado then"
"Dean, I really don't think that's the best idea. Dad could be long gone, who knows where."
"We could at least check out any leads. Maybe he's still there, or maybe he told someone where he was headed"
"Shyeah, 'cause dad was always a friendly one, loved to share. Come on, Dean, be realistic"
"What's your plan then? What do you want to do? We have no idea where he is, he's not picking up, we can't stay here, else risk your fiancé become human bbq. I vote we go to his last known location and take it from there. Jess?"
Jess was surprised Dean would look at her for an opinion, let alone that he would give her a vote. She also did not like to be pinned against Sam, but she had to say she agreed. She couldn't see a better solution, at least not with the information she was presented. She chose her next words carefully.
"Sam, I understand you want to have some results, and I agree that our current action plan is less of a plan and more of a.."
Dean tried to say something, but Jess touched his shoulder gently. He was taken aback by the physical contact, and that was enough to stop him from interjecting.
"..of a long shot. HOWEVER, we have to start somewhere, and I think it's better to do something, than nothing at all. I vote with Dean for now." Jess continued.
She hated to see Dean's smug I'm right, you're wrong, even Jess thinks so face in the rearview mirror and felt relieved when Sam didn't seem to notice. Or maybe he pretended he hadn't. Jess was starting to find Dean to be a bit of a childish bully and was grateful to see her future husband would take the high horse more often than not.
They arrived in Blackwater Ridge shortly after midnight and pulled into the sleaziest motel they could find. Or so it seemed. It might have just been the first motel they saw, but Jess couldn't tell as she'd doze off a couple of times, a little bit here and a little bit there. If she were honest, a lot and everywhere.
It now dawned on Jess that the monster hunter lifestyle was not the cushiest, most glamorous one. In fact, she wondered how, if at all, have they been able to afford any sort of motels. She had some money set aside for rainy days, but she wasn't ready to commit it all just yet. Instead, she decided she was going to follow their lead. They had been doing this their entire life, after all.
"All right, we're going to need an ID first thing tomorrow", Dean said coming out of the reception area.
"I have one right here", she replied, rummaging through her purse for it.
"Oh nono, sweetheart, that's not how we operate."
Jess scrunched up her nose at the mocking nicety Dean threw at her, but ultimately chose to ignore it. She decided she'd rather learn more about what her life will look like in the near future, than argue.
"You mean a fake ID, then?"
"Of course. We don't usually give out our names, for a few reasons. First, what we do is not entirely believable, so we always need to find ways to get answers without sharing any information. Easiest way to do it is if we are some sort of authority figure, CDC, FBI, state police, that sort of thing. Secondly, most of what we do is not entirely legal. It is a miracle we've kept the Winchester name clean and off the records in most states. And thirdly, what we do is not free. We live cheap, eat at diners, sleep at motels, just need the bare minimum – gas, food, prepaid credit on our phones, whatever. A fake ID gives us a way into free credit cards, a grand here and there. It's nothing extravagant", he said turning towards the sleazy motel, "but it's home! I hope you have a strong stomach."
"I'll be fine", Jess said promptly.
"Good! So tomorrow after we get your fake ID, you will do a few runs at the bank to get some credit cards in that name. In the meantime, Sam and I will go check out the locals. For now, I'd like to park my butt in a horizontal position if you two don't mind. I've splurged on TWO separate rooms, so that you two can have some privacy", Dean finished with a very obvious you-know-where-I'm-going-with-this type of wink.
"Don't be crass, Dean", Sam said, but he was already up the stairs and didn't reply.
"We're in room 12, right there", Sam pointed towards the same stairs Dean had just taken. The motel looked exactly like any motel Jess had seen in horrors and thrillers, ever. It was a two-floor apartment building, white, sporting a NO Vacancy sign right outside. The NO was not lit, indicating that the motel still had some rooms.
Jess went to the trunk to grab her duffle bag. They left in a hurry, wanting to avoid the return of yellow-eyes, so Jess did not manage to pack much more than the bare necessities. A tooth brush, a handful of clean underwear, some clean t-shirts from the drying rack and a spare pair of jeans. Sam seemed to be carrying even less in his backpack. He gestured at her to go ahead and climb the stairs, with him right behind her. As soon as they reached the top floor, he caught up and put an arm around her shoulders. In turn, she put hers around his waist and squeezed at his side a little. She'd forgotten in the last day how grateful she was that he was still with her, that she was still alive, that they did not need to separate. He responded to the squeeze by pulling her closer and kissing the top of her head.
When they arrived in the room, Jess was pleasantly impressed. It wasn't much, but it was clean. There was a bed, a TV and some nightstands arranged in the center of the room, and a little table and two chairs by the window. There was also an en-suite bathroom, that Jess excused herself to use. Sam nodded as he shut the blinds.
It felt great to be in a steady, clean place after 20-something hours of road-tripping. Dean had insisted, and rightfully so, to do the whole trip in one stretch. The sooner they got here, the better their chances were of still finding at least traces of Winchester senior. Sam's dad, Jess thought. What a way to meet her fiancé's parent.
She ran the tap and splashed her face with a little lukewarm water, which had a more powerful impact than Jess had anticipated. All the bottled down feelings seemed to be rushing back as droplets of water were running down her face. Soon enough it was impossible to tell which were mere drops of water and which were her own tears that she simply could not hold back any longer. She could see yellow-eyes lifting her up toward the ceiling, she could almost smell her own burning skin as she was set ablaze, she could see her family being worried and crying over at her funeral, Sam dying to avenge her. This was a possibility still, the man who put her in this position, the man who could end hers or Sam's life with a snap of his fingers was still out there, probably looking for them. And just like that, life as she knew it, was over. They were in the middle of nowhere, doing God knows what and for how long. She just wanted to reach out to her family, see them, just for a minute, go play with Francis, the family dog. Things she now realized she may never do again. She felt like she was being suffocated by the weight of all the thoughts flooding her mind, she needed to sit down.
"Honestly, Jess, this isn't even half bad." Sam begun, as she opened the bathroom door. "Look here, we even have.. Jess? Oh Jess.." he lamented as he saw the state of her. He rushed to the bathroom door and put his arms around her. She had no strength left in her so she just gave in. He led her to the bed and let her collapse into his arms as they both sat down.
"I'm.. so.. sorry.. ugly.. crying" she managed to say between sobs. Sam couldn't help but let out a small laughter, to which Jess replied in kind, only for a brief second.
"Don't worry baby, ugly cry as much as you need", he reassured her and pulled her even tighter to his chest.
And she did, Jess cried herself to sleep in Sam's arms.
She woke up under the blanket, with her shoes and socks off, Sam must have done that. He wasn't in bed next to her though, but she could smell his sweet perfume on the pillow, so he must have slept there. She looked at her watch, which indicated 4:45 and then looked outside, or rather at the shut off blinds, which seemed to show a bit of light underneath. She must have slept around 5 hours or so. Even so, she felt rested, probably the dozing off in the car and the good cry she had helped a fair bit as well. She was worried Sam might have sensed she is too weak to continue, and vowed to assure him that last night meant nothing more than just getting on with the program. Grieving and accepting, that's all. But Sam wasn't there. She felt like she was going to fall apart again, but that would defeat the purpose. She had to stay strong, she could and she would.
"Sam?", she called toward the bathroom door. Nobody replied. She got out of bed, and walked over. She knocked once, for good measure, but when nobody reacted to that either, she opened the door. There was indeed nobody inside. She had another look at the room and saw some papers on the table in the room: an ID with her picture, Joan Jett from Tennessee. Jess laughed. This must have been Dean's idea. A credit card under the name of Jethro Tull. A prank on Sam, also by Dean, if she were to guess. On the table there was also a little note and a phone. The note read Running some errands. Be back as fast as I can. Call me if there is anything, my number is in the phone, use this one only. Forever more, Sam.
Forever more.. That was their signature since that one movie they saw together and liked, where the main character splits itself in two to never be lonely again. He dies, of course, but the now two souls live on, forever more. That movie, and those calm days seem like a lifetime ago now, and Jess feels like she is trapped between this new reality and reminders of her old one, pieces of happiness scattered all around her. She reminds herself once again to stay strong and is grateful to have this time alone, without Sam, to recompose, for both their sakes. She heads to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
"OH!", she exclaimed as she set her eyes on the toilet seat. There was a clean towel and one of those detangling brushes for curly hair, that she absolutely did not think to pack. Aw Sam, she thought to herself. But when did he have time to do all this? And then it hit her, she ran to the window and pulled the blinds all the way up. It was very clear now, it was indeed 4:45 in the AFTERNOON. She had slept through a good part of the day, nearly 15 hours! Good God! She rushed to take a shower and get ready for the whatever was left of the day. By the time she was out, Sam was waiting for her in the room.
"Morning sunshine!", he said laughing.
"Morning?! It's almost evening", she sulked. "Where have you been? Why didn't you wake me?"
"I've been checking in on you regularly, but you were sound asleep each time. I wanted you to rest after last night.. Are you OK? Do you want to go back to Stanford?"
"I'm fine, Sam." She replied, walking towards him and taking his hands into hers. "I needed last night, and I won't pretend this is, or has been easy. But I promise you, you don't need to worry. I'm exactly where I want to be, I swear."
He nodded, and Jess drew herself closer to him and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. He put his arms around her and pulled her into a warm embrace, returning the kiss. It was almost as if he'd been waiting for her to give him a signal that it's OK to even touch her.
"Sam", she laughed gently. "I'm not going to break, YOU can't break me."
"I know, I just.. You've been through so much"
"As have you! For much longer than me, and here you are. Now tell me, what have you been up to today?"
"We went to see the family of the missing guy. Turns out my dad never made it here at all."
"Wait, are you serious? Why did you even think he was here?"
"He called Dean two days ago, told him he was headed this way. I guess he never made it. The camp guy is still missing, and now there seems to be another camper gone."
"So what then? We just move on? Look for your dad elsewhere?", Jess asked irritated.
"No, we stay. We work the case."
Jess sighed in relief. She understood the urgency of finding Sam's father, but would not be able to live with herself if they could save people, and willingly chose not to.
"So", Sam reiterated, "what we know so far is that we have two campers missing, their family is distraught but has no idea what happened. The second guy, he went looking for his brother, who went missing first. Before he left, the second guy that is", Sam clarified, "he told the others that he'd seen a tall, skinny man drag his brother from the tent. I suppose this is why dad indicated Wendigo in his phone call."
A knock at the door interrupted Sam's story.
"Housekeeping", Dean screeched in his best feminine voice.
Sam opened the door and invited Dean to have a seat.
"I was just getting Jess up to speed with our findings."
"Yes, two campers missing, one was an eye witness, saw what looked like a Wendigo", Jess nodded as she repeated all the known information.
"Yeah, that's pretty much it", Sam confirmed.
"Only it isn't!", Dean said smugly. "Get this, while I was out trying to see if the sister knew anything on the down low.."
"That's Dean code for while I was trying to score with the sister", Sam interjected.
"Yeah, whatever", Dean said, but smiled a big guilty smile, "point is, she knows the exact location of their disappearance. She was with both of them!"
"Why didn't she tell us all this earlier, when we questioned her?", Sam was slightly irritated.
"That's the catch, she thinks she knows. She might have been slightly out of it when it happened. You know, a little 'shroomed?"
"Of course she was", Dean commented, now visibly frustrated.
"So, let's go get her to lead us there", Jess offered.
"That's why I'm here. She's out in the car. Sam and I are going to escort her to the location, you go to the bank and have these IDs turn into money"
"OH HELL NO!" Jess snapped. "I am ABSOLUTELY not your errand girl or your PA. And before you even THINK to utter the words safety and/or leverage, let me remind you that I am walking around in places with MONSTERS that want to EAT me and I have no idea how to defend myself. I will shadow you and learn", Jess argued passionately. Dean seemed convinced and Sam gave her an impressed that's my girl look. It did however dawn on Jess that she may not be so ballsy at the scene, and she did not want to step on anyone's toes unnecessarily so she added a "I'll stay out of the way and be extra careful", in a small voice, for good measure.
