Darrin was so angry, he could hardly think straight. He glanced at the report he'd been working on and pushed himself out of his chair in one fluid motion, pressing his hands firmly against his desk.
"Langone's Lotions, my foot!"
A bold laugh floated into the office and Darrin didn't even have to look up to know that the laugh belonged to Larry Tate.
"Langone's Lotions, my foot! That's brilliant, Darrin, old boy! Just brilliant! Ms. Langone is going to flip over that slogan! We'll have that account in the bag!"
"Um, no we won't, Larry."
Larry's eyebrows rose. "Come again?"
"I said no, we don't!" Darrin snapped. "Larry, I don't care how much this campaign is worth! I don't want anything more to do with that… that…"
"Woman?"
"In a manner of speaking. Larry, she came onto me! And not only that, she's a…"
"Beautiful woman?"
"That's not what I was going to say."
"Well, it doesn't matter what you say, Darrin. We need this account and we're going to get it!"
"And I say we're not! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to leave."
Larry looked at his watch. "What, now? It's not even noon!"
"I'm taking the rest of the day off! I don't feel well."
"You look fine."
"I don't feel fine and Larry, do you realize how many sick days I have coming to me? A lot! So I deserve to take the afternoon off!"
"Fine! But don't expect a raise come review time!"
Darrin gathered his briefcase and his portfolio and moved past his boss. "I never do, Larry."
"Darrin, if you walk out that door, I'll…"
"You'll what, Larry? Fire me? Again? Because if you do that, you'll never get any accounts! You know you can't succeed without me! I'll see you in the morning!"
"Darrin! Darrin!"
But Darrin made a beeline for the elevator, determined to get home as quickly as possible.
The car came to a screeching halt in the driveway and when he glanced across the street he saw Gladys Kravitz peering out of the window. There was no telling what she told Abner, but at the moment Darrin didn't really care. He slammed the door and then walked up the driveway, fumbling to get his keys out of his pocket.
"Sam! SAM! Samantha!" he yelled into the house. When he slammed the front door, the walls rattled. Seconds later, Samantha appeared in the living room, wearing a look of surprise.
"Oh, hi, sweetheart!" Even when she kissed him, his anger didn't dissipate. "You're home awfully early."
"You're darn right I am!" He snapped.
"Oh, well, I never complain about that. We don't get to see enough of each other as it is. What's the occasion?"
"Don't ask!" He yelled, making her flinch.
"That bad, huh? Uh oh…"
"What uh oh…"
"Don't tell me Larry fired you!"
"I wish! No, he didn't have the guts to do that, even though he did threaten if I left early. There was no telling what I would have done if I had stayed."
She took his hand and led him to the sofa. "Come sit down. I'll fix you a drink!"
"I don't want a drink!"
His outburst made her recoil and the smile left her face. "Oh… Well, all right. You can make your own drink. I was just tidying up the kitchen. I see that you're upset so why don't you relax for a while?"
"I don't want to relax!"
"Suit yourself. But I wish I knew what's gotten into you!"
"Sandra Langone!"
"Who?"
Sandra Langone! Better known as your sister!"
"My sister's name is-."
"Serena, I know! Where is she? I'm going to kill her!"
"Darrin, that's a horrible thing to say!"
"She has messed with me for the last time, do you hear me? The last time!"
"What'd she do?"
"Oh wouldn't you like to know?"
"Well, that's why I asked."
"All right, fine. I'll tell you. She came to my office today… well, Sandra Langone did."
"I'm afraid I'm not following."
"Your sister is a lying, despicable…. SERENA! SERENA! Come here right now!"
"Darrin, that won't do any good. She's in Salem right now and that's a sacred place for witches. She's going to be… indisposed for quite some time."
"Forever, I hope!"
"What is this all about?"
He forced himself to calm down, but it wasn't easy. "All right. I had a two o'clock appointment with a Sandra Langone of Langone's Lotions. I was hoping this would be a great opportunity for a new account. She came in and sat down and…."
"And?"
"I… I'm so steamed I can't even say the words!"
"Try."
"She took off her shoes."
"That's it?"
"Is that it? She started putting that lotion all over her feet!"
"Isn't that what it's for?"
"That's not funny, Sam!"
"It wasn't supposed to be. This… Sandra Langone. Was she attractive?"
Darrin hated when Sam asked questions like that. He really hated it. There was nothing to do but tell her the truth. "Well, yes, but that's not the point."
"What is the point?"
"She came onto me, Sam! The way she was… walking around my office barefoot, pouring glasses of scotch, trying to seduce me…"
Samantha swallowed hard and turned around. "I-I see…"
"And when I told her that I was a happily married man and where she could take her foot lotion, Ms. Langone turned into… Serena!"
Sam whirled around. "What? Oh Darrin, Serena wouldn't do something like that!"
"Wouldn't she? It wasn't the first time, Sam! You of all people should know that!"
"You're right. But she sounds like she sure fooled you."
"Not for a minute, Sam. And even if it hadn't been Serena there is no way that she or anyone could ever tempt me into anything. Because I love you and no one else."
Samantha threw her arms around him and kissed him. "Darrin…"
"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Sam. I was just… so steamed."
"And I'm sorry about Serena. As soon as she gets back from Salem, I'm going to have a lot of stern words for her!"
"Well, I've calmed down some. Perhaps I'd better get back to the office. Larry was livid when I left. I'll be back later."
But Samantha grabbed his sleeve, keeping him from leaving. "Oh no you don't!"
"I beg your pardon?"
"You're mine for the rest of the day and night, no matter what! I'm not letting you out of my sight! If Larry doesn't like it, I'll… well, I don't know what I'll do, but…"
"I'd love to stay here with you and Tabitha. Where is she?"
"She's taking her nap, but she should be up in a little while."
"A nap sounds good, actually."
"All right, just lie down on the couch and I'll get you a blanket and a pillow."
"Thanks, Sam. Oh, before I forget, I was supposed to give you something."
Samantha grinned. "Another kiss?"
"Well, there will be lots of those later, but Sandra… I mean Serena told me to give this to you."
"What is it?"
He opened his briefcase and removed the bottle of lotion. "She said it wasn't magical."
Samantha took the bottle and examined it. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."
"We can get rid of it if you want. I don't trust Serena at all."
"Neither do I, actually." Samantha unscrewed the cap and smelled it. "Oh, Darrin, it's lovely. Lavender!"
"It does smell pretty good, doesn't it?"
"My favorite scent."
"Sam, you don't have to keep it. You know how your sister is. That stuff is liable to-."
"Don't worry about a thing. I'll take care of Serena. If anything happens, she'll have Mother and Daddy to answer to."
Darrin rolled his eyes. "Great."
Samantha poured some lotion onto her hands and spread it over her fingers and onto her bare arms. "This is lovely. Doesn't it smell nice?"
Darrin sniffed the air. "It does smell rather nice."
"I feel beautiful already."
"But you don't need that stuff, Sam."
"I don't? But I thought you said-."
"Well, I want you to have it ,but you don't need it."
"Why not?"
"Because you've always been beautiful."
"I'll take those kisses now."
Darrin smiled and took her into his arms. "With pleasure."
Fin
