Note: Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger. Harley Quinn was created by Paul Dini and Bruce Timm. Ra's al Ghul was created by Julius Schwartz, Dennis O'Neil, and Neal Adams. Lady Shiva was created by Dennis O'Neil and Ric Estrada. This story was inspired by Jeffrey Thomas and Celeste Green's Gotham High.
Professor Hugo Strange founded a college called Arkham Asylum. Arkham Asylum was unlike any other college. It was specifically for eccentric people and society's outcasts. Hugo Strange lived up to his last name, by having a strange fascination with Gotham's most peculiar and unique citizens. He was interested in getting to meet such people and to help them blend into society.
Many of the students had a second name, which was commonly referred to as a secret identity. Most of the teachers were weirded out by that, but Hugo Strange had a fascinating lifestyle. In fact, he specifically wanted more students who had an alternate identity and went out of his way to make his students come up with their new name and uniform.
During Arkham Asylum's first year of school, a few hundred students joined the college. There were some students that were kicked, including Kite-Man, who got kicked out for flying his kite during class and Calendar Man, who endlessly mocked the school for not giving him certain holidays off.
However, there were several students who went to the college, for the school's second year. One of the students was Pamela Isley, better known as Poison Ivy. Ever since she was a little kid, Poison Ivy had been obsessed with protecting wildlife, especially flowers and plants. During her high school years, she went through a goth phase and hated humans, because of how badly they treated plants.
Thankfully, Poison Ivy got out her hatred of humans, thanks to the help of her best friend, Harley Quinn. During Harley's high school years, she was interested in becoming a physiatrist, but she didn't have the maturity for it. Poison Ivy had tried to encourage her friend to not give up on her dreams, but Harley had dealt with some bad influences.
The worst influence of Harley's life was the Joker. The Joker was the high school "bad boy" and after joining Hugo Strange's college, he retained his bad boy image. He had been kicked-out of several schools, for his immature and irrational pranks. There were several adults and millennials who couldn't stand him, but Harley was charmed by his smug confidence of and fun sense of humor.
The Joker's best friend was Oswald Cobblepot, better known as the Penguin. The Penguin was the son of rich, snotty parents, who lived a fancy, but boring lifestyle. He had wanted to escape their shadow and do something more unique with his life. Because of that, he ended up talking to the Joker and the two of them often hanged and pulled pranks on their fellow students.
For a while, the Penguin had a girlfriend had a girlfriend, but that didn't last long. That young lady's name was Talia al Ghul. Talia was the daughter of the highly respected, but intimidating ninja master, Ra's al Ghul. Talia dated the Penguin, because she wanted to be with someone wealthy. However, she wasn't fond of Penguin's goofy personality and friendship with the Joker, so she dumped him.
There were some students who started going to Arkham Asylum, during the middle of the school year. One of those students was Selina Kyle, better known as Catwoman. She got kicked out of a different college. This was because she often skipped class, because she saw stray animals running outside and she wanted to protect them. Although she had good intentions, she often got in trouble with her superiors.
Another student who joined in the middle of the year was Edward Nygma, infamously known as the Riddler. He had been going to a fancy college that was full of the world's smartest students. The Riddler stopped going to that college, because being around such smart students didn't give him a chance to brag about his brilliance. He joined Arkham Asylum, so he could be a boastful and charismatic show-off. He got the best grades, but he was considered to be the most annoying classmate.
A special addition to Arkham Asylum's second year was Bruce Wayne. Unlike the other students, Bruce never went by his real name. Even Hugo Strange and the teachers didn't know who he was. He called himself Batman. His fellow classmates often wore elaborate, eccentric costumes. However, they often wore regular clothes, during the warmer and colder days. However, Batman was intending on always wearing his costume. His main one was gray and blue, but he often wore a black one. Since there were several days in a year of school, he got bat-suits of all the colors of the rainbow.
Several of Hugo Strange's employees were opposed to the idea of a student, whose legal name was a mystery, joining the school. However, Hugo Strange was fascinated with Batman's secrecy, so he welcomed him into the school.
Batman felt feelings of nervousness about his first day of school. He had been home-schooled by Alfred Pennyworth, during his previous years of school. However, Batman was planning on becoming a detective, so he thought that going to Arkham Asylum would help him with his future career. He walked into the school. Instead of carrying his belongings in a backpack, he kept them in a utility belt.
Hugo Strange walked up to Batman. He tried to look friendly, because he was often considered to be freaky. He said, "Greetings, Mr. Batman. It's an honor to have you at Arkham Asylum." He shook hands with Batman and said, "I'm Hugo Strange, a professor and this school's leader."
Batman replied, "It's nice to meet you."
Hugo Strange started taking Batman on a tour of the school. Hugo said, "So, do you have an alternate name?"
Batman sternly replied, "My other name remains a secret."
Hugo put his hand on his chin and responded, "Fascinating. Do you have a specific reason for that?"
Batman responded, "I don't want people to know who I really am."
Hugo said, "Whoever you are, you must be doing finically well. Your costume is well-made, and that belt must have cost a few thousand. I've never seen a fancier and more detailed design. Not to mention, you were dropped off in a limo. I noticed you had the limo's license plate covered up with a sticker. That keeps the identity of the vehicle's owner a mystery."
Batman had the sticker put over the limo, so nobody would figure out Alfred had given him a lift there. He was surprised that anybody would pay that much attention to it. He said, "You seem rather observant, Principal Strange."
Hugo replied, "Indeed I am. The whole point of having Arkham Asylum is to analyze and decrypt the secrets of Gotham's most fascinating and mysterious students."
Batman responded, "Well, I'm not here to have any secrets revealed. I'm just here to learn knowledge, that'll be used for my future career."
Hugo replied, "You'll learn far more than that, Mr. Batman. I personally guarantee you'll learn more."
Hugo showed Batman the hallways, lockers, and classrooms. After a long tour, Hugo looked at Batman and asked, "What do you think of my school?"
Batman answered, "It's very unique, Professor Strange. I'm excited to start going here."
Hugo looked at his watch and replied, "The tour went on longer than it was supposed to. I'm infamous for rambling on, but don't worry. You just missed a mediocre assembly. Your homeroom teacher is in room 8. Best of luck, Mr. Batman."
Batman responded, "Thank you."
Batman's homeroom teacher was Jonathan Crane. Professor Crane was a smart, but scary professor. He often had his students do dangerous science experiments. He seemed to have a fascination in seeing people be frightened. Because of that, he was called "the Scarecrow."
Batman entered Professor Crane's classroom. It was his first time meeting Arkham Asylum's students. There were several eccentric-looking students and Batman stood out, thanks to his bizarre choice of wardrobe. Batman looked at Professor Crane and said, "I'm sorry for being late. Principal Strange's tour was rather long."
Professor Crane replied, "No problem. You're the new student, aren't you? Go ahead and greet your new classmates."
Batman faced his classmates and responded, "Hi, everybody. I'm Batman. It's nice to meet all of you." He looked back at Professor Crane and asked, "Where do you want me to sit?"
Professor Crane pointed to a desk in the middle-row and said, "Over there."
Batman was about to sit down, but a strange-looking bat creature flew by him. Batman had a nervous look on his face, while asking, "What is it?"
The creature flew to Professor Crane. Crane put the creature in a cage and said, "That's the class pet. He may be a bat, but he has several human instincts and behaviors. Because of that, I've named him Man-Bat."
Batman tried to not look freaked-out, while saying, "Wow, that name is incredibly similar to my own."
Professor Crane did a sneaky sounding laugh and replied, "You could say that. In fact, the reason I specifically had you be a member of the class is because of the similarity. It's a scary coincidence, but if I may speak so bold, fear is the best emotion."
Batman was scared by Professor Crane, but he tried to forget about him and enjoy his first day of college. Professor Crane was working on a new kind of toxin, so he let the students talk to each other.
Batman looked at Poison Ivy, who had a plant on her desk. Batman tried to be polite, by saying, "That's a nice-looking plant."
Poison Ivy wasn't very trusting, so she replied, "Oh, really? If you know what nice plants truly look like, tell me this plant's name."
Batman replied, "I'm afraid I don't know that."
Poison Ivy responded, "I predicated that answer. It seems like I'm the only one around here, who truly knows and cares for the darling plants."
Batman whispered, "Darling plants? Sounds corny, but okay."
Poison Ivy angrily nudged Batman and sternly replied, "Watch what you say, Batman."
Harley Quinn patted Ivy on the shoulder and responded, "Give the new guy a chance. You never give anybody a fair shot. You even thought I was annoying, when we first met."
Poison Ivy replied, "No offense, but you were pretty annoying in high school."
Harley angrily responded, "Hey."
Poison Ivy knew that Harley was right about her being cold and not giving others a fair chance. She wanted to stop acting like that, so she shook Batman's hand and said, "Sorry if I got a little upset. I'm Pamela Isley, but call me Poison Ivy."
Batman replied, "It's nice to meet you."
Poison Ivy pointed to Harley and said, "This is Harley Quinn. She's pretty nutty, but she's actually really sweet and fun. In fact, she's my bestie."
Batman put his hand on his chin and asked, "A plant-girl and a clown? Interesting combination."
Harley smirked and replied, "Bats and men are a weirder combination."
Batman had a hard time arguing with that, so he said, "Fair enough."
Harley replied, "I hang around a fellow clown. He's not in this class, but you'll see him later. I think you'll love him."
Poison Ivy said, "So, who's the man behind the mask?"
Batman replied, "I'm sorry, but that's a secret of mine."
Poison Ivy asked, "So, you're a man of mystery?"
Batman answered, "Indeed I am."
Batman looked around the classroom and saw Catwoman, who was feeding a cat that was previously outside. Batman asked, "Who's that lady?"
Harley answered, "That's Catwoman, but she's not worth paying attention to. She only like animals, not humans. Plus, she scratched up my lunchbox. Talk about rude."
Talia looked at Batman and was intrigued by him. Because of his fancy costume and belt, Talia assumed he was rich, and she was interested in becoming wealthier. She was a few rows away from Batman, but she hoped he would notice her.
While taking a look around the classroom, Batman noticed Talia. Talia had a friendly-looking smile on her face. Batman smiled back and said, "She seems like a charming person."
Poison Ivy asked, "Charming? Spoiled is a more honest description. She's the daughter of some rich guy, who gives people ninja lessons. She's big around here. She's always the Queen of Prom and the fan-favorite cheerleader. Personally, I think she's worth ignoring."
Talia walked up to Batman's desk and introduce herself. She stuck her hand out and said, "Greetings, Mr. Batman. I'm Talia al Ghul. It's a pleasure to meet you. Your appearance instantly stood out to me."
Batman asked, "In a good way?"
Talia nodded and said, "I've seen several animal-themed students, but none as intriguing as yourself. I'll see you around." She had a flirtatious smile on her face, while walking away.
Batman looked back at Ivy and Harley and said, "Talia actually seems pretty nice. Is she seeing anybody?" Ivy and Harley raised an eyebrow. Batman nervously blushed and said, "I'm just asking that kind of stuff, so I can get to know my fellow students better."
Poison Ivy replied, "Talia used to be dating a jock, named Bane. However, Bane got expelled, because he broke a teacher's back."
Batman responded, "Wowsers, I'm glad Talia's not with him."
Harley nudged Batman and said, "You're interested in her, aren't you?"
Batman replied, "Um, I'm not sure."
Harley responded, "Wow, it didn't take long for you to get smitten with her."
Batman said, "I wouldn't say I'm smitten with her."
Harley replied, "Then I wouldn't say you were honest."
The Riddler used his cane to tap Batman on the head. Batman looked behind him and saw Riddler. Riddler used to sit at the front of the class, because it made it easier for him to show-off and get his classmates' attention. However, Professor Crane had gotten tired of his puzzles and riddles, so he made him sit in the back.
Batman looked at him and said, "Hi, I'm Batman."
Riddler replied, "Riddle me this: What do you call a cat in a tuxedo?" Batman shrugged his shoulders. Riddler answered, "Purrfectly dressed." Catwoman angrily groaned. She had heard that joke dozens of times and was sick of it.
Batman said, "It's nice to meet you, Edward."
Riddler had a smug smile on his face, while replying, "Call me the Riddler. After all, I'm the Prince of Puzzlers."
Catwoman responded, "You're the King of Bragging, so shut up."
Riddler replied, "I'll consider it, if you shut-up about animal rights."
Catwoma angrily responded, "I'll scratch your stupid riddle-books, if you insult the rights of animals."
Riddler whispered, "Whatever." Catwoman angrily stared at him.
Batman looked at Ivy and Harley and said, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but is Professor Crane ever going to start teaching the class?"
Poison Ivy replied, "Probably not today. He thinks that the first day of school is a waste of time, because it's just a bunch of introductory stuff. Instead of telling us rules we already know, he works on his experiments."
Batman asked, "What does he work on?"
Poison Ivy answered, "He claims to work on science experiments, but I think he just wants to make stuff that'll scare us."
Harley replied, "He's almost as creepy as Principal Strange."
Batman responded, "I'm having second thoughts about this college."
Poison Ivy patted Batman's shoulder and said, "Don't worry, you'll love it. School's never a magical experience, but this one is a lot more unique."
Batman replied, "It might be a nice experience."
Batman had Professor Crane as his teacher, for the first few classes of the day. After that class was over, Batman walked into the hallway. Hugo Strange walked up to him. Batman said, "Hi."
Hugo Strange asked, "Was your first class a captivating experience?"
Batman answered, "I suppose so. It was nice meeting my classmates, but Professor Crane creeps me out."
Hugo replied, "Good, fear is one of the most compelling emotions. So many things can be learned through one's deepest fears, wouldn't you agree?"
Batman responded, "I guess so."
Hugo replied, "If you want to succeed at this school, you'll have to do more than guess. You need to find your place in the world. Everybody is unique and you seem to be extra-special. I see potential in you. Don't let me down." Hugo took a long look at Batman, before walking away. Batman thought about his future, while heading to his next class.
Batman was thirsty, so he decided to get a drink before his next class. He looked around and saw a deliveryman named Victor Frieze. Victor had just finished putting fresh sodas into the drink machine. Batman walked closer to the machine and asked, "Would it be cool if I bought a soda?"
Victor answered, "No problem. I just put the sodas in, but they were nice and cold, while they were in my delivery truck."
Batman replied, "That's cool." He bought a soda and said, "Hi, I'm Batman."
Victor shook his hand and replied, "I'm Victor Frieze."
Batman had a surprised look on his face, while asking, "Your last name is Freeze?"
Victor sighed and said, "My last name is spelled differently than you'd think. Despite that, I have to deal with lots of cheap jokes."
Batman couldn't resist saying, "That's a chilling thought." Victor angrily sighed. Batman felt guilty about making Victor mad, so he said, "I'm sorry."
Victor calmed down and replied, "It's okay. A few ice puns aren't too bad, but there's some punks who never stop making fun of me."
The Joker walked by Victor. No student bothered Victor more often, so he wasn't thrilled to see him. The Joker put his hand on Victor's shoulder and asked, "Were you trying to ignore me, Victor? Talk about giving someone the cold shoulder. Your attitude is cold, and I want to defrost the tension. Chill out and enjoy the cool feeling of my cup of ice." He did a crazy-sounding laugh.
Victor sighed and said, "I better get going." He looked back at Batman and said, "It was nice meeting you." He started walking out of the school and heading to his next job.
The Joker put his hand on Batman's shoulder and said, "That guy needs to cool down. If he doesn't, he's going to melt. Talk about irony." He kept giggling.
Batman wasn't getting good vibes from the Joker, but he tried to be nice. He said, "Hi Joker. I'm Batman. It's nice to meet you."
The Joker took a closer look at Batman and replied, "You have a unique look."
Batman responded, "So do you."
The Joker had a sneaky grin on his face, while saying, "I'm getting intriguing vibes about you. You seem like the moody, mopey type, yet you also look stylish and different. What's your secret? What's your real name?"
Batman sternly replied, "None of your business." He heard the bell ring and said, "Oh crap."
The Joker looked amused, while saying, "You seem angry about something. What angers the Batman?"
Batman said, "I'm late for class. This isn't going to be one of my better first impressions."
The Joker replied, "Considering whose class you're late for, you're toast. I'll see you around, Batsy." He did an evil laugh, while jumping away.
Batman walked into his next classroom. His next teacher was known by his nickname, rather than his real name. He was called "the Clock King." Batman had a mildly nervous look on his face and was hoping that the teacher wouldn't be too bothered by his lateness. He said, "I'm sorry about being late."
The Clock King looked at his self-made watch and replied, "You're two minutes and twenty-five seconds late."
Batman scratched his cowl, while saying, "I apologize for that. I was distracted. After all, this is my first day."
The Clock King replied, "You're going to get into a countless amount of trouble, unless you start showing up to class on-time."
Batman nervously responded, "Okay then. Where do you want me to sit?"
The Clock King tried to calm down, while saying, "Sit in any desk. Just don't take too much time."
Batman saw that Poison Ivy was in the class too. Since she had introduced him to a lot of students, he sat by her. He said, "Hi."
Poison Ivy replied, "Hi Batman. You already ticked-off the Clock King."
Batman responded, "Yeah, that guy seems to have anger issues. He's like the opposite of a classmate I met earlier, named the Joker. Joker always seems happy."
Poison Ivy nodded and replied, "Joker's always happy, as long as he gets what he wants. When the teachers catch him doing a prank and give him a strict punishment, his true anger comes out. I'd suggest staying on his good side, but I'm not sure if he has one."
Batman sarcastically responded, "Sounds like a charming guy."
The Penguin pointed his umbrella at Batman and replied, "Don't bad-mouth the Joker. He's Arkham Asylum's most charismatic and entertaining."
Batman raised an eyebrow and asked, "Charismatic and entertaining?"
The Penguin straightened his monocle, while saying, "You may think that Joker is a simplistic wise-guy, but he has more depth and complexity than you can ever imagine. You're too much of a generic, gutless, boy-scout, to understand such peculiar, but outstanding citizens."
Batman looked really confused, while saying, "No offense, but I barely understood that."
Poison Ivy replied, "Ignore Penguin. He uses fancy words, so he'll seem more eloquent than he actually is."
The Penguin angrily shook his fist in the air. He looked back at Batman and said, "If you want to have some class and dignity, I'd suggest staying away from her. She wastes her time with such drab things, like plants and flowers."
Poison Ivy replied, "Flowers and plants blossom with more purpose than you ever could."
The Penguin angrily responded, "How dare you insult my brilliance."
The Clock King overheard them and replied, "You've wasted enough time. All the minutes, that you spend on arguing about petty nonsense, could actually be used for something useful." He walked up to Batman and said, "I suggest not wasting your potential. You have room for self-improvement, which is more than I can say for the plant and the bird."
Poison Ivy angrily responded, "Hey, you can't insult your own students."
The Clock King said, "You can complain to Principal Strange about it, but that would be a waste of time."
After the Clock King returned to his desk, Batman looked back at Poison Ivy and said, "Sheesh, my first two teachers aren't very friendly."
Poison Ivy replied, "Arkham Asylum's not known for having friendly, normal people." She looked at his desk and saw that he a book about plants. She lightly smiled and asked, "Do you share my interests?"
Batman answered, "You could say that. Since I didn't know the name of the plant you had earlier, I figured I should work on my knowledge of plants."
Poison Ivy replied, "Most people don't have the patience or time for that."
Batman responded, "I like doing research. After all, I want to become a detective."
Poison Ivy asked, "Really?"
Batman nodded and said, "I sure do. Since becoming a detective isn't a very regular job, I figured I should go to an abnormal college."
Poison Ivy replied, "A desire to be a detective is normal, compared to what the rest of us are like. You don't fit in."
Batman sighed and responded, "I was afraid of that."
Poison Ivy lifted Batman's chin up and said, "I didn't mean that as an insult. You don't fit in, because you're a lot more normal and nicer than your fellow classmates."
Batman was surprised, but glad to hear that. He said, "I'm not used to being called the normal one."
Poison Ivy replied, "Compared to me and everybody else, you're nothing special." She immediately regretted saying that, so she said, "That was so dumb to say. I meant that you're not freaky or anything like that. Professor Strange is right about everybody being special."
Batman replied, "Yeah."
Poison Ivy felt mad at herself, while saying, "I hope you can excuse my terrible way of wording myself. I won't say the wrong and because of that, Harley's the only one who hangs around me."
Batman tried to make her feel better, by saying, "More people should hang around you. You seem cool."
Poison Ivy smiled and replied, "Thank you. A lot of people will want to hang around you."
The Clock King looked at his students and said, "That's enough chatter. You're going to get your first math assignment."
Poison Ivy replied, "Come on, it's the first day of the year. This day is supposed to be about introductions and explaining the rules."
The Clock King sternly said, "I don't have time for that. A lot of days have been wasted on telling students things they already know. I'm never one to waste time, so I won't bother with such things." He handed the students a worksheet. He heard the complaints of several students, so he said, "This is nothing to get worked-up about. Since it's your first assignment, it's easy and won't take a lot of time. Speaking of time, start using it well and get to work."
Several minutes later, the students finished their assignment. The Clock King didn't take much time, when it came to grading the assignments. He quickly looked them over and graded them. A small smile came upon his face, while saying, "One student got a hundred percent."
The Penguin was a very smart person, so he was hoping that he had the best grade. He boastfully said, "A true gentleman, such as myself, focuses on being as intelligent as humanly possible."
Poison Ivy replied, "If you were trying to be as smart as a human, you wouldn't name yourself after a bird."
The Penguin ignored her and said, "Anyways, I know I did an excellent. However, am I the one who got the highest grade?"
The Clock King answered, "I'm afraid not."
The Penguin nervously chuckled and replied, "I look pretty dumb right now, don't I?"
Poison Ivy responded, "Sounds about right."
The Clock King said, "Batman got the highest grade. He didn't get any of the problems wrong. Batman, come here." Batman walked up to the Clock King. Clock King shook his hand and said, "You made a great first-impression. Keep living up to your potential."
Batman replied, "I'll try."
