Remember Me

"Let's break up." Mikami said in a detached voice.

Kyoko, whose eyes were full of shock, could not believe what he said right away. She opened her mouth, meaning to ask him not to go...but she could make no sound.

Mikami arose from the bed and put his blazer back on. He walked towards the front door, put his shoes back on, with no signs of hesitation, and as he reached for the handle, Kyoko finally found her voice. She managed to say, "Wait..."

Mikami stopped only for a brief moment, still not looking at her, keeping his voice devoid of emotion, he says, "Goodbye Kyoko."

And disappeared into the night.

Kyoko wanted to chase him, she almost wished she could beg him not to leave her, but she knew well enough that would be futile. All she could do was stare at her front door.


About two months later, Mikami had dinner with Kiyomi Takada at the Royal Ranch restaurant, he found that Kiyomi was intelligent, able to understand justice and Kira's will. But he had a hard time to imagine being with her in his home, calling her his sweetheart or wife.

He missed the way Kyoko would smile and blush at him, how she would cook his favorite foods, and how she made him feel loved in her presence...Kiyomi's cheeks did not light up like hers and her smile did not radiate the same kind of warmth. He found it ironic of all things, that Kiyomi would make him take her to expensive restaurants and expected him to treat her like a princess, while Kyoko who was a princess, never did.

When they left the restaurant, he paid the bill like always, and he began to realize spending time with Kiyomi always made his wallet lighter.

Sometimes, he found himself thinking about Kyoko in the most random times. Back then, when he had a bad day and he was able to come home to her, she would say the things he needed to hear. Those words would still echo in his mind from time to time. When he walks into a crowd, he would look for her face, despite he was sure he would never randomly encounter her again, like he did on that day at the Kira convention...

At times it would be the flow of a woman's long black hair, or the way someone would stare at the floor...And there she would be. It was bizarre to him now to think one of his primary reasons for approaching Kyoko and having a relationship with her was because of her elite status. Yet, after he realized she had a body that could not bear children, he left her. Nowadays, he didn't really care so much if his soulmate had power or money. Sometimes, if he was not aware, he slipped into imagining what she did the rest of the night after he left her...and then forth.

Did she sleep? When she went back to the military, did she immerse herself into her job to forget about their relationship? Does she...ever think of him sometimes? Mikami remembers Kyoko once told him she felt safe when he embraced her. He could still vividly recall how she felt in his arms, her soft skin and small body. He had promised her he would always protect her. He was a liar. On occasion he felt as if Kyoko had been a hallucination all along. Maybe it was because even now he would wake up from dreams where they are still together. He had used, left, and betrayed this woman who was so much like his mother, another woman he had loved and lost.


Kyoko had not slept well since the night Mikami had left her. She had tried to call him twice, but he wouldn't answer his phone. She was in disbelief at how he ended their relationship so abruptly.

When the day to return to the military base came, she welcomed it more willingly than ever before. She was desperate to put her mind to something else, anything else. However, no matter how much she tried to avoid thinking about her former lover and the relationship she had just lost, she felt her feelings of longing and heartbreak following her like a shadow.

And then one morning at the base, a physical and fatal reminder of her heartbreak appeared...It started a few days before, with a pain on her arm that wouldn't go away even with painkillers. She woke up to roses that had blossomed on her right arm, with blood leaking out of her skin and on her sheets.

Her roommates were startled by the sight of her, but did not ask any questions. Instead, one of them, Umika Ipponmatsu, wrapped Kyoko's arm with a hand towel and took her to the nurse.

Nurse Mego Kisaragi was in surprise as she unraveled and examined the roses on Kyoko's arm. She took some x-rays of Kyoko's arm. The nurse proceeded to ask Kyoko questions about her health condition for the past week and took notes. When the results of the x-rays came out, Kisaragi became quiet for a minute or two and went to her shelf to take a book and flipped through pages.

She came back to Kyoko and said,

"I'm going to have to ask you a personal question. And you're going to have to answer honestly, if you want to a proper diagnosis."

"Yes?" Kyoko asked, mystified.

"Did you have your heart broken recently?"

Kyoko's eyes widened and began to tear up, she could not form words from her mouth. She bit her lip, closed her eyes, and nodded.

"You have the Hananoshi."

Kyoko was more confused than clarified.

"Hananoshi? How could this be...? There is such a thing?"

"Yes. It's extremely rare, but it's real. It's that condition where flowers burst out of a person's arm, it is believed to be caused from heartbreak. I don't want to be the one to tell you this, dear Kyoko. But somebody has to. You should start writing your will and making preparations, physical, mental, and psychological."

"There is...no cure?" Kyoko said, stunned.

"I'm sorry," the nurse said sadly, "I'll try my best to see if there are any, but up to date, there has been no cures found, not even medicine to minimize the pain. You will have to wait for the flowers to wilt and fall off on their own. However, there is one thing to give you hope...There is no guarantee it's going to kill you, it's a 50-50 chance, there are people who have survived..."

Kyoko was speechless as she stared at the nurse's face, but then her eyes and head shifted down to the floor in defeat.

"I think you should take time off from this base again. I will keep you updated about what I find in regards to the Hananoshi. Come see me whenever you need something. You should go home, spend some time with your family, speak to a therapist about your feelings and condition. Nobody will blame you."

Kyoko looked back to Nurse Kisaragi's face.

"Okay...thank you."


Just as Nurse Kisaragi advised, Kyoko took time off from the military, and instead of going back to her own apartment, she went to her parents' home. Her brother Haruki joined in as well. The Yamazaki family were deeply troubled by Kyoko's lethal condition and did the best they could to find anything that could be a potential cure to Hananoshi.

Even with her family's background of achievements in medical science it was not easy. But instead of giving up and losing hope her family kept researching, and spent quality time with Kyoko. Kyoko, accepting that her end could be near, decided to treasure each moment with her parents, her brother Haruki, her sister-in-law Sasha, and her niece Kikyo.

When Kyoko felt she had made her final preparations, in spite of the roses on her arm seeming to grow bigger overtime, she went back to the military. She decided that if in fact she was going to die soon, she did not want to spend her last days dreading her potential death, but instead, doing what she needed to do until the last moment. She wanted to live her life in a way that she believed would honor Kira.

Umika, and Kyoko's other fellow roommates were especially kind to her, because they too did not want her to die in sadness. One morning, to the surprise of Kyoko herself and everyone around her, the roses from her arm wilted and fell off.

Kyoko had to take time off the military again to get the surgery to remove the roots from her arm. Haruki, being a surgeon was the one to do the operation.

While Kyoko was happy that this meant she was going to live, she had a concern that would not go away no matter how much she tried to push it to the back of her mind. Finally, the day after her surgery, when she was alone with her brother on a balcony in their parents' home, Kyoko opened up about this concern to him.

"Haruki...thank you again for all your help."

"Of course."

"I really am happy I am not going to die, but there's something that's been causing me concern."

Haruki was taken aback as he couldn't imagine what could be worrying his little sister after learning she was not going to die, and had a successful operation.

"What's wrong?" He asked and unable to hide the confusion in his voice.

"Well...I couldn't help but think about some of those myths I heard about in the past. Myths about the Hananoshi before I knew it was a real condition. One of them includes a belief that those who have been cured of it, did not really love the person they were heartbroken over, or they may have lost their ability to ever love another person in that way ever again." Kyoko said with her voice somber.

"Those are just theories, as nobody really knows how a person gets Hananoshi, how they live or die from it. It's just that because in every recorded case there was of a person getting Hananoshi, it happened after the patient had a heartbreak, doctors came to believe the disease comes from that or at least some kind of severe emotional distress..."

Haruki became quiet for a moment, but continued, "And whether you loved him or not, the only person who knows that for sure is you."

Kyoko looked Haruki in the eyes, and nodded.


A year had passed since that day, it was now December 1st, Meisho Year 29

Kyoko was keeping a close eye on Sakura TV because it was the station where Kira had appointed his first spokesperson, Hitoshi Demegawa. However, Demegawa's actions made Kyoko wonder if he was a fraud after all. And perhaps her line of thinking had not been incorrect, as Demegawa himself and his close executives were murdered on live tv, the month prior, on the 27th.

Kyoko was disturbed but understood Demegawa caused a lot of violence on the streets of New York, she was sure this would be considered a transgression against Kira and is not something that would be easily forgiven.

Another matter that made watching Sakura TV uncomfortable for Kyoko was how her former lover would often appear and speak. But she knew she could not lose the opportunity to hear her god's voice over the pain of seeing her ex-boyfriend. Today, he had appealed to Kira for guidance.

"Number 19, Mr. Mikami. Do you have anything to say?"

"Yes," Mikami had said and he continued, "We would very much like to hear Kira's voice again. We intend to follow your ideals and goals. I believe that following your orders and teachings is the quickest way to achieve world peace. Kira, please let us hear your voice. If there are no orders or words from Kira... I believe that it's important to judge for ourselves what Kira's thoughts may be, and put them into action."

Kyoko looked away from the screen as soon as Mikami went back into the crowd, thinking, He never changes.

Four days later, something unexpected has happened. Her friend from college years, who was now an NHN news anchor, Kiyomi Takada was chosen as Kira's spokesperson. Kyoko thought Kira had made a good choice, through the friendship Kiyomi and she had back then, there were times they talked about Kira and how the world was changing. While they did not always see each other eye to eye, she knew Kiyomi was someone who sympathized with Kira. Kyoko had called Kiyomi by phone to congratulate her.

But soon after Kira started speaking through Kiyomi, Kyoko found Kira's voice to be eerily familiar.

"Good evening, this is News 6 and I'm Kiyomi Takada. All the messages from Kira I have conveyed to you in the past as well as everything I will tell you in the future will become the law of this world. Apart from those whose existence itself is considered evil...People with an ability who do not use that ability for the good of society will also not be tolerated."

And the next day Kiyomi had said,

"Depending on what their sin was, Kira will not tolerate people with a criminal record."

Kira wants to kill people for being lazy...and criminals who already spent their time in jail and have reformed, plus people who committed crimes without evil intent? Doesn't Kira exist to prevent future crime? Punishing crimes that are already said and done will only bring fear to the people. Based on how Kira has brought justice so far…it seems that the main objective is to stop the cycle of evil. Because evil brings about other evil. The evil actions done to one person can in turn, make the victim become another perpetrator. Crimes should never go unpunished. But punishing evil alone may not always guarantee the welfare of the victim.

And certainly, giving the death penalty to anyone who is lazy and someone has already paid for their sins will not achieve world peace. If people are discouraged from committing crimes, rather than terrorized into a certain lifestyle, the world will naturally become a better place...At least...that's what I thought Kira's beliefs were... Kyoko thought to herself, confused by what she heard...

Furthermore... she didn't want to bring herself to think about it, but she could not stop herself, Kira's voice right now sounded exactly like Teru's. And I have no doubt about it, because we had disagreements about these exact same topics when we were together...Does this mean he had been right about Kira's true ideals? Or is this... not the first Kira, but another new Kira who happens to agree with Teru's beliefs?

Kyoko looked back to the screen, remembering she wanted to watch the continuation of Kiyomi's message from Kira today, she pressed on the next online video. Kiyomi then continued,

"...I will be introducing you to messages and requests from viewers, as well as expressing my own opinion on some matters. This is so that by exchanging ideas between Kira and myself, we will be able to make an even more detailed report...Many of the countries and companies claim to support Kira now...But that is a mere empty promise, and we do not know how they are supporting Kira, or should be supporting Kira. I feel that in order to create a peaceful world as fast as we can, Kira should give orders to the army and police of each country on how they should act. I would like Kira to give a reply to this and..."

If Kira would indeed do this, I will be receiving direct orders from him...Well...I did always wish to follow Kira's agenda because I am alive thanks to him...if, this is in fact the real Kira and not another fake. Kyoko thought as the video ended...


It was now the month of January, Meisho Year 30th

Towards the end of January and the beginning of February, Kyoko went from questioning if this new Kira was the same as the first to being absolutely sure that he wasn't.

To her deep sadness, her college friend Kiyomi was kidnapped by anti-Kira terrorists. At first Kyoko believed that Kira would be able to rescue his loyal spokesperson, as he had rescued her when she thought all hope was lost. But the anti-Kira terrorist had set himself and Kiyomi on fire before Kira could do so. But this alone was not what made Kyoko doubt if the current Kira was real or a fake.

Kyoko attended Kiyomi's funeral, thinking about the memories they shared back in their school days and asking herself repeatedly why Kira was not able to save her. And she felt nothing but disgust when other tv stations had come forward claiming Kiyomi had been too careless and to make them his new spokesperson.

Along with Kiyomi's death another thing Kyoko would not have predicted in a million light years was when her former lover, Teru Mikami, had been arrested on January 28th, at the Yellowbox Warehouse. He was charged for killing Kiyomi Takada and being Kira himself. When Kyoko first heard the news, she could not even process the shock.

On that night, and for countless nights to come, she was anxious with too many unanswered questions. She wondered if Teru had been framed, and if he hadn't been, if this insane story was true, how did he attain the power of Kira? Because, she just knew Teru is not the Kira who saved her life. How did he become a Kira at all? It is common knowledge now there were at least 2 Kiras in the past, though Kyoko had suspected it was more like 4. Because she knew for a fact Kyosuke Higuchi was the Third and had high suspicions Misa Amane was the Second. Why did he kill Kiyomi? And... what happened to the first Kira? Was he gone forever?

Teru Mikami died in jail ten days after the warehouse incident. Kyoko inevitably hears of it, and thinks about how she still remembered all the things he said, while she touches the scars on her arm where the flowers grew.


Author's Note: A Death Note fanfiction, Teru Mikami x Kyoko (L's in-universe fangirl from To-Oh), I warn there is no happy ending to this story, so please read with caution. I borrowed the concept of "Hanahaki," but changed it to "Hananoshi," and make the flowers grow out of the victim's arm instead of lungs. Also, this story contains many personal head canons involving L's fangirl from To-Oh University Kyoko, and that I invented an ambiguous time period for the story because I know Death Note took place in the 2000s. However, I prefer ambiguous time periods for stories I read/write because I like to think of it as something happening in the present. So, I will be referring to the set of years in this story as the "Meisho" Era, a fictional emperor era I made up for the Japanese calendar. For this story, I am following manga canon instead of anime. I should also make it clear that future Mikami x Kyoko fanfictions will not be as sad as this one and takes place in a different universe. In the writing, characters' thoughts are in italics. Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of its characters, all rights go to Tsugumi Ohba, Takeshi Obata, and other respective owners. If you enjoyed this story, please leave a like or comment. ^^ Also, I would be happy to talk, please add me on tumblr, sakuranomai and/or twitter, sakuramaitweets. I have other links you can find on my profile.