Disclaimer: Unchanged! JK Rowling made this amazing characters, she owns it all! :)
The day after Poppy's review they left for McGonagall Manor after breakfast, Minerva had quickly caught up with Albus to give him the marking she had done and to discuss a few things with him before they left.
She watched Hermione pack a few last things from their bedroom door with a smile. Despite everything she was going through she was still trying to be positive and instead of curling up in the bed and not coming out, she was doing the exact opposite.
"Ready love?" She muttered seeing Hermione getting a little tired, the younger woman turned around and smiled slightly sitting on the edge of their bed.
"Yeah, I'm just tired, I didn't expect packing to exhaust me so much," she admitted tiredly rubbing her face.
Minerva came to sit by her fiancée and wrapped her arms around her tightly kissing her temple, "do you want a nap before we go?"
She shook her head, "no, I'd rather have a nap there on the sofa infront of that lovely open fire"
Laughter filled the room as Minerva recalled many times they did just that, "I happen to enjoy doing that too. Come on then, let's go now before the snow gets any worse"
Together they ventured down to Minerva's office, "you go first love, I'll take the bags okay?"
Hermione nodded with a soft smile and a placed a loving kiss on her lips, "thank you"
"Whatever for?" Minerva asked her as she got the fire ready.
"Just loving me, being so supportive and attentive, helping me .. just everything," Hermione admitted quietly as she watched her lover who stood back up a few seconds later, the fire ready for them to use.
Minerva wrapped her arms around Hermione's waist and pulled her closer kissing her lips, "always love, always .. I love you, I'll do anything I can for you, now and always"
It was a few minutes later when they separated and Minerva offered Hermione the pot of floo powder. She took a handful with a smile before throwing into into the flames. She stood in the fire and muttered, "McGonagall Manor," it was seconds later that she disappeared as Minerva grabbed their belongings preparing to do the same.
She arrived in the living room of McGonagall Manor to see Hermione sitting on the sofa already, a happy smile on her face as she stared at the roaring open fire.
"You okay love?" She asked dumping the bags on the floor and immediately moving to her partners side. She knew she was exhausted and her biggest worry was exhausting her too far.
Hermione nodded, "I'm fine please stop worrying Min, I'm just glad we get to spend some time together at home to heal from this"
"Me too," Minerva agreed holding her love tightly rocking her slightly.
McGonagall Manor was an old looking period 18th century farmhouse set out in the depths of the Scottish countryside with over 6 acres of land surrounding it. The home had 6 bedrooms with 4 bathrooms and one en-suite in the master bedroom spread out over 3 floors. The home had been in Minerva's family for generations and each person had customised it to their own individual tastes.
Since her time as Mistress of the Manor, Minerva had modernised it, more so in the last 3 years with Hermione's help to make it the forever home that they both wanted.
The living room was decorated in white, the old original black beams still decorated the ceiling. The huge open fire across one wall, a mantlepiece on top decorated with candles and small pictures. A huge brown leather sofa sat opposite the fire with 2 deep chairs made of the same on either side facing in, Above the mantlepiece rested a huge frame featuring a woman who looked remarkably like Minerva, "Hello Mathair"
"Hello my darling," the portrait smiled back at her daughter, "not that it isn't lovely to have you home, but how come your back so early?"
Minerva looked down silently at Hermione who nodded, "she should know, Min, let her support us as well, okay?"
"Okay," Minerva nodded kissing Hermione softly, "but nap time after I explain it okay? You need your rest, you're exhausted I can see it in your face, your pasty again"
"I promise and yes I'm tired, I hate how much this surgery has tired me," she admitted a little frustrated.
The portrait of Isobel McGonagall gasped, "surgery? What on earth had happened?"
Isobel McGonagall had fallen head over heals in love with her daughter-in-law-to-be when they had been introduced. Despite the age gap Isobel knew it was the real thing and she couldn't wait to watch her daughter blossom with such an amazing woman at her side. She had been alone and sad for too long and she knew with Hermione, that would change.
"Hermione and I .. well," Minerva stalled not realising how difficult this was going to be to tell her mother, Hermione squeezed her hand tightly reminding her it was okay, "3 weeks ago we found out that Hermione was pregnant, 8 weeks to be exact. But a a few days ago Hermione started cramping and bleeding. We lost our baby"
"Oh my dears," Isobel choked on her own emotion, her hands settling infront of her mouth in pure devastation for both her daughter's loss, "oh I'm so sorry"
"Thank you," Minerva whispered woefully wiping away her own tears as Hermione rested her head against her lovers shoulder, "there were some .. complications and in the end Hermione needed surgery to stop her bleeding and remove the baby"
"I'm so sorry," Isobel said again wishing she could be with the ladies infront of her instead of stuck in a portrait, "I remember when I lost the baby I was carrying before I had Minerva, the pain .. it will get easier .. I know it doesn't feel it right now but it will"
Minerva looked up at her mother in surprise, "I didn't know you'd lost a baby, Mathair"
"It was 3 months before I fell pregnant with you," Isobel admitted quietly looking at her daughter with a sad smile, "I .. we'd been trying for a baby for 6 months and I fell, I didn't have any symptoms, no bleeding or cramping .. no nothing. It was only at a routine 12 week check up they found there was no heartbeat. It was a struggle for abit, your father and I were understandably devastated. A month after I told him I wanted to try again, so we did .. and then I fell with you"
Her daughter nodded sadly, "I'm sorry Mathair, how did you get through it?"
Isobel sighed, "we talked about it, we cried .. a lot, we supported one another from beginning to end, every year we lit candles, we had a memorial in your fathers church a month after we lost her. I had jewellery made .. it's probably still upstairs in the box .. it has the name and date of passing on it. I wore it all the time. Without that physical memory and reminder .. it had felt like your sister never existed to me. It really helped me"
With so many truths and new bits of information coming to light Minerva didn't know what to do as she cried, Hermione held her with tears in her own eyes, "we were having a boy," Hermione admitted quietly, "Poppy suggested cremating him, burying his ashes in 2 boxes .. one here and one at Hogwarts and planting a tree over both"
"I really like that idea," Isobel admitted with a smile as she thought back to her own loss, "I wish I'd done something like that. You could go and sit under the tree and talk to him. I .. that sounds amazing honestly"
Hermione nodded, "I think so too"
"Did you give him a name?" Isobel asked focusing more on Hermione now as Minerva continued to cry quietly. Her heart broke for her daughter who was clearly heartbroken at losing her only child.
Both women nodded as Minerva pulled herself together and sat up again, "Matthew Asher," she announced with a soft smile despite the tears and devastation she felt.
"That's a beautiful name," she smiled staring primarily at Minerva, "I know this hurts baby girl, I'm so sorry"
"I never realised how much I wanted a baby .. until Hermione fell pregnant. We weren't trying or anything but .. ugh, god, I feel like my heart has been ripped out, chopped up and thrown back in haphazardly," Minerva admitted miserably.
"I know, I know," she soothed the best she could through a portrait, "you can get through this, together ok? And I'll be here too, if you either of you want to talk about it .. or both of you even. I wish I could be there with you both"
"I wish you could too," Minerva confessed feeling completely wrung out already, "did you name her?"
Isobel nodded, "Ailie was her name, I'm sorry your finding out this way, it was never anyones intention to withhold the information from you, I guess I was so busy trying to keep magic a secret and control your brothers magic .. it just never came up"
Surprisingly Minerva could understand that, with such powerful children it was difficult to keep up with everything else, "it's ok Mathair, I understand"
"Hermione? Are you okay?" Isobel asked anxiously seeing the young woman sway a little, her eyes unfocused as Minerva turned to her partner, her eyes wide with worry.
"Love?" Minerva cupped her partners cool face realising how pale she looked, "you need to rest, talk to me 'Mione"
"Just abit dizzy, bit queasy," she admitted almost silently as she slumped against Minerva's side.
Minerva sighed, "I'm sorry love, let's get you into bed okay?"
"No," Hermione shook her head a few times but quickly stopped when it made her dizziness worse, "I want to stay down here with you and lay on the sofa"
Her fiancée chuckled knowing exactly what she wanted, "ok, stay there whilst I get comfy ok?" Minerva quickly moved the pillows to the end of the sofa before getting onto the sofa and resting against them comfortably, helping Hermione to settle against her body between her legs, "close your eyes love ok? Sleep"
Hermione nodded tiredly, "I'm cold"
"Carmen," Minerva called as a house elf arrived out of nowhere. The small creature looked surprised to see her mistress infront of her.
"Mistress Minerva!" she squealed, "Miss Hermione!"
"Can you please get a blanket for Hermione? She's cold," she asked nicely as the house elf nodded before disappearing and re-appearing a few seconds later with a deep red blanket that they all knew Hermione loved.
Minerva took the blanket from her and quickly wrapped her partner up in it, "thank you," Hermione mumbled tiredly unable to keep her eyes open, a small smile on her face.
"Sleep love," Minerva reiterated rubbing her lovers arms gently before kissing her head. She held her tightly wanting her to feel loved and protected.
It didn't take long for Minerva to feel Hermione grow heavy against her chest as she fell asleep, she didn't let her go as she held her just as tightly thankful to have her in her arms, "why don't you try and sleep too, Minerva? You look tired too my darling"
She peeked up at her mother with a sad smile, "I am tired, it's been a really rough 4 days, though it feels longer than that right now. At one point I was so scared I was going to lose her too. It's made me realise how much I love her, how important she is to me"
Isobel nodded, "you are .. so well matched my darling, I am so glad you found one another and took the courage to try"
"Me too, she's given me life," Minerva admitted lovingly as she stroked her fiancées head, "I can't wait to marry her"
Her mother smiled softly as she watched Minerva close her eyes with a happy smile on her exhausted face. A few minutes later and Isobel saw the telltale signs of her daughter having fallen asleep, she always slept with her eyes slightly open.
~X~
Late afternoon arrived with the setting of the sun as Minerva and Hermione sat outside together infront of the fire pit, under thick warmed blankets so they didn't get cold, each held a mug of hot chocolate in their hands to keep warm.
"It's so beautiful even in the middle of winter," Hermione sighed happily as she looked out at the usually green countryside which currently was covered in thick white sparkling snow.
"It definitely is," Minerva agreed wrapping an arm around Hermione's back resting her hand against her hip as she kissed her partners warm lips, "how are you doing love?"
Hermione nodded, "I'm okay," she smiled softly, "sad don't get me wrong, it hurts and I just don't know what to do with myself .. but I'm okay. How about you? How are you doing?"
"About the same," she admitted taking a sip of her hot drink allowing the heat to light its way down her body, "I've been thinking about what Poppy suggested"
"Me too," Hermione smiled at the warm feeling the idea left her with, "what do you think?"
Minerva looked into the fire unseeingly, "I think I like the idea very much, my Mother's comment that we can sit at the bottom of the tree and talk to him too just .. makes me feel like we're able to include him more in our lives which is what I want. I don't ever want to forget our child, Hermione, not ever"
Small warm hands found longer thin ones as Hermione squeezed it gently worming her fingers through to hold her partners hand tightly, "I don't either and honestly I don't think we will"
"Would you want a tree that retains its leaves during winter of shed's them?" Minerva posed the question quietly, her heart ached that they needed to do this but she was glad they had been given this option.
"I don't really mind," Hermione admitted honestly resting her head against Minerva's shoulder, "I wondered whether we could do the burial on Valentine's Day though. I don't like Valentine's day as you know, I like to celebrate our love everyday not just one day a year. But in the same token, it feels fitting for us snd him to share that day with our son"
The older woman chuckled, "I get what you mean and yes .. I'm happy with that. Day of love and remembrance .. I like that! Do you mind if I suggest a tree?"
Hermione shook her head as she tilted it to look up at her lover, "maybe at home a Yew Tree .. we can decorate it for a Christmas with lights. Maybe at Hogwarts a Corsican Pine, it only grows to 27 meters so it'll be shorter then the ones in the grounds now. We can get a 4ft tree to plant when he bury his ashes"
She nodded but said nothing else as her mind wondered to her little baby, the idea of burying him caused her nothing but pain, frustration and anger. Why him? Why them? She wanted to be able to hold him in her arms not sit at the base of a tree knowing he won't answer her back.
"I'm here love, I'm here," Minerva reminded her gently as she held her, she knew Hermione was getting upset and she didn't blame her. She couldn't describe the pain she was feeling and she wasn't the one who carried him.
"I'm so angry, Min," she whimpered looking out into the dark night, "I know he's our baby, but he was growing in my body and somehow I failed him .. I couldn't protect him! I shouldn't be talking about .. burying him under a tree .. I should be talking about building a nursery, getting fat, feeling him kick and the excitement and getting to hold him in my arms and I can't do any of that and it's so unfair"
Minerva's heart twisted in her chest as she turned and took a now sobbing Hermione in her arms, there were no words she could say to make this better, there was no magic cure to take their pain away. All they could do is walk through it together and hold one another tightly when it becomes too much, "I know, it's cruel and unfair .. but you didn't fail him, Hermione, not one little bit. Protected inside you .. he knew nothing but your love and your pure heart. There was no darkness for him with you .. only light and love"
The heartbroken young woman nodded as she sniffled, "god this is so frustrating!"
"Yes it is," Minerva agreed wholeheartedly, her arms wrapped tightly around Hermione's chest.
"We don't even have our normal method of dealing with this .. pain and stress either," Hermione huffed and puffed as Minerva smiled but said nothing knowing Hermione would continue when she felt able to, "all I want to do is take you upstairs and make love with you and forget all of this, to have that closeness we both need! I know it's not just me who needs sex when we're stressed and upset"
Minerva chortled, "no, it's not .. if anything I'm worse than you are in that department! Making love with you is .. my favourite thing in the world. Poppy said 5 days .. once those 5 days are over, provided you feel well enough we can stay in bed all day long if you want to"
"When is D day?" Hermione asked seriously as Minerva laughed.
"Christmas Eve," she grinned as Hermione giggled, "oh how I love that sound"
"Christmas Eve it is," Hermione rested her body back against Minerva's chest, "least we don't have to worry about Christmas pyjamas then"
She rolled her eyes in amusement, "no, we sure don't," Minerva concurred with a smile on her tired face, "I love you, you know that right?"
"I know, I love you too," Hermione beamed, one thing she had never expected in her life was falling in love with Minerva McGonagall. Whilst she had a special place in her heart for the woman whilst she was in school, she was blown over by the feelings that erupted from her like a volcano a year after the battle had been won.
They had both attended a very boring party that had been brought together by the Ministry to celebrate the lives of those lost the year before. Over the course of the evening, Hermione had moved round the room saying hello to everyone she knew.
By the time she happened upon the table where all the professors had been sat, Minerva was sat by herself watching Albus and Pomona dance, whilst Filius had a heated debate with Horace at the bar. Hermione had sat down next to her favourite professor and they had talked for what felt like hours.
In the end Hermione had sighed saying she needed some air. Minerva, who had been desperate to get out of the room, offered to accompany her. The party had been held at a club with vast acreage and they had taken a long walk before stopping by a willow tree, stepping inside the wall of foliage to avoid any other guests.
Within minutes they had turned to one another, eyes met in unspoken words as warm wet lips joined for a ridiculously passionate kiss. Their relationship had taken off quickly from there, they had met by chance in a coffee shop a week later when Minerva accompanied Hermione home 6 hours later and they fell into bed with one another.
Minerva had been unable to explain her love for Hermione to anyone, words just weren't enough. Even now she struggled to express her love because everything she could say felt inadequate.
"I mean it," Minerva said again, "there are no words for how much I love you, Hermione. You complete me in a way I can't explain, you fill me with more happiness than I ever thought possible. That night of the party all those years ago .. up until then I just existed, I didn't feel, I wasn't .. whole. You did that. You gave me life, love and .. everything I could ever want. Without you my world is empty and numb. I love you .. beyond anything I can explain"
Hermione's eyes filled with tears at Minerva's declaration, "Merlin Min .. I love you so much, my life is so much better with you in it too, I couldn't image ever being happier than I am with you"
Lips met under the moonlight above as Minerva held her fiancées jaw in both her cool hands, "forever, that's what we have .. forever. I can't wait to marry you"
"Me too, to become Mrs Hermione McGonagall," they both smiled as lips met again, their love in that moment, focused solely on the two of them.
