"Walk with me."
That's how Alice had taken him out of the house.
Jasper felt on edge and more at the verge of straight up going into town and killing an entire baseball team if that meant getting rid of the maddening thirst.
Being in the house was torture.
No.
Scratch that. He would rather like to be tortured at this point. Their thirst mixed with his was making him see red at random intervals and sometimes it felt like he couldn't breathe due the heat in his throat. Having to keep The Major from taking over was taking hours off his sleep and that mixed with how little venom he had been getting so as to not put a strain on Alice made things worse.
He was tethering over the edge of control.
And part of him was afraid that that would happen again.
The state of death.
That state that took his rational side and crushed it to ashes. When nothing but instincts controlled his mind and actions.
The same state that had almost led him into killing Peter after killing the newborns.
He was never able to remember what happened afterwards and The Major was as confused as he was.
It was rage. Pure unadulterated rage. Wrath. Red. Berserk .
During his time with Maria it had happened four times.
It hadn't happened since he left her though when he ate that garlic those years ago... something told him he had been close to falling into that state.
The fingers tracing the scars on his cheeks pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked up to find Alice. There was concern in her emotions and face.
-You feel warm.- She said frowning.
-I'm fine.- He assured shifting on her lap in order to face her completely, fingers tracing her jaw, to be honest, right now.
He felt the weakest he had felt in a long time.
But to be fair he had been growing weaker and weaker. His slips busted the life back in him but it never lasted. Like a shot of adrenaline. And while he had done great at hiding it from Alice it had become harder and harder to hide something that was becoming too constant.
Dizziness. Headaches. Stomachache. Nausea. Sensitive to light. Increase need for venom. Blurred vision. Sensory issues. Insomnia. Heavier naps.
And the new recurrent ailment.
Burning bones.
Or at least that's how it felt to him.
He wanted to believe it was the animal blood weakening him. Things would be lost under his rejection of his main food, he knew it, and he was willing to lose them.
Alice for her side didn't feel convinced about his words.
And then he was there.
Odd enough he didn't sit up.
-Can ah go into town? Ah promise ah won' kill anyone nor will ah drink enough ta make our eyes go red.
Even if he said that Alice knew him well enough to notice he wasn't actually asking for permission. He was just doing it because that's what Jasper would have wanted.
And while Alice wanted to tell him no something at the back of her head warned her against it.
And thus she sighed and nodded.
The Major was gone in less than a second.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The Major was an expert at sneaking around and making use of his senses he made sure to avoid the dogs with perfect precision. Kept himself in the right direction and distance so as to not have his scent caught. His sense of smell was twice as sharp as that of a poisonous vampire and thus he could take on a wider range.
He arrived into town in less than three minutes.
He took in a deep breath and felt the venom accumulate in his mouth as the sweet and glorious scent of blood hit him. He walked around for a bit searching for the best person to grab.
And he found it in a blonde woman dressed as a nurse. Her scent was alluring and her blood was loud. He walked behind her keeping his footsteps absent while suffocating her with calmness and drowsiness. He made sure no one was around before grabbing her and shoving her into an alley, his hand never leaving her face so as to prevent her from seeing their face. His other hand against her mouth.
Of course she struggled but that was nothing compared to his strength. He pressed a few points and she dropped unconcious. He knelt at her side and snatched her arm. Slicing her wrist open before lunging down to drink the beautiful and wonderful liquid.
It went down his throat like a river slamming across a wildfire. It made him crush her arm in his grip in an attempt to keep himself from sinking his fangs into her flesh. Having to force himself to pull back when he was still starving was near impossible but he managed.
He did lick her arm. The cut. All until it stopped bleeding altogether. Her heartbeat had grown slower and he knew he had almost messed up.
Still .
He went back for her arm and sucked a considerable amount before pulling back for good. He could feel blood trailing down his chin and he resisted the urge to get rid of it the same as he fought back the maddening urge to swallow the blood. He wasn't a messy eater like Jasper, he had standards, though mostly it was so no one could track him by the scent of blood.
And while it would be problematic if the Cullens were to smell the human blood in them he had something important in mind.
The angel was also starving herself.
And while he knew she wouldn't drink human blood he didn't want her to starve. She couldn't hunt because of the damn dogs. She was weak. In pain. He hated that.
Thus what better way to get some blood in her system than to carry it himself? She was starving. Hence, she wouldn't be able to hold back from taking it if he brought it to her.
Yeah. Getting her to take it would mean breaking past his comfort zone but she was more important.
And Jasper was sleeping.
It wasn't as if he would find out. That as long as the angel didn't tell.
He didn't decide on how or when to give it to her so as to avoid her from seeing it.
But he did run back taking the same precautions he did when he left the forest.
She was still sitting where he left her. She was anxious and the thirst in her made a sound stick at the back of his throat. This was the mind reader's fault. He was the one who was making this coven suffer right now.
And that damn dog.
He said so, but Jasper had refused to listen. The dogs would betray them.
And look how things had turned out.
The angel's head snapped to attention and he knew she had smelt the blood in him. The thirst in her intensified and her fingers curled into fists.
-What are you doing?- Her words were strained and she refused to look at him when he knelt before her, he grabbed her jaw and forced her to look at him.
And before she could stop him or him lose his commitment he leaned forward and clashed their mouths into a kiss.
The second her lips touched the blood the second her emotions were seized under nothing but bloodlust and her hands flew up. Fingers digging into his shoulders as she yanked him closer, biting his bottom lip and forcing him to open his mouth. Blood dripped on the ground and between them as a growl left her throat.
He tensed as he felt her tongue invade his mouth and her teeth clash against his. The violent kiss. Her arms and legs around him in a crushing hold to keep him from escaping. It made alarm flare in him along with the overwhelming urge to attack.
But he didn't.
He took it with the same strength he had taken worst things from Miss.
At least he knew this one wouldn't go far. It took a while before she came out of her frenzied state and he felt her muscles relax.
For a moment there was calm.
And then a surge of guilt and shame as she pulled back. But he didn't let her go far for he kept his arms locked around her waist. Her eyes while still black if looked from up close could be seem sporting a red stain to it.
He was so used to the gold that it never crossed his mind how would she look with red eyes.
Had his heart been alive it would have stopped right then right there.
And this time there wasn't an important reason for him to lean forward and brush their lips together. He did it and he didn't care. Something about her scent merged with human blood made him feel exhilarated.
He felt her surprise but she didn't move. Letting him go as far as he wished.
But he didn't end up kissing her. Instead. He licked some of the blood from the corner of her mouth before pulling back.
-You didn't kill anyone, did you?- Alice managed to ask after a moment of getting her bearings back together. She wasn't even sure how to react to what had happened in the past minutes. Of all things she could have ever expected from him having him bringing her human blood in such manner wasn't it.
He had known perfectly well what he was doing, in fact, she wouldn't be surprised if he had planned it.
And the kiss.
Licking her.
He had never broken the barrier like that. He didn't do kisses aside from the occasional kiss on her forehead or hands.
-She's alive. - He told bringing his hand up to touch her cheek. Thumb wiping off the blood from her chin.- Ah know ya dun't lac feedin' off humans but ah refuse ta be the only one gettin' some sort of relief. Ya dun't deserve ta be in pain. Ah won' tolerate it an' much less allow it.
Alice couldn't help but smile at that.
-Ah should kill that damn mind reader, he does nothin' but cause trouble.
Alice grabbed his wrist at those words and gave him a warning look.
The Major scowled.
-But ah won'. Seriously, why'd'ya even lac him? He's a selfish problematic idiot.
-He's our brother.
-Ya mean yours an' J.J's. I've no brothers an' even if ah did ah would certainly not want that mind reader ta be it. Ah would rather choose Peter, he at least wouldn't be at risk of givin' us his back.
-What about Emmett? I thought you liked him.
-He seems lac a good friend. But ah wouldn't go as far as callin' him a brother.- The Major told as a statement of fact. He liked Emmett and he had an amazing potential to become quite the lethal fighter if Jasper and him were to train him.
But they weren't particularly close. They wrestled a lot, yes, but that was it.
That was it.
Even while aware of him none of them aside from the females seemed eager to get to speak to him without wariness in their emotions. And maybe Emmett.
He kinda hated it.
~~~~~~~~~
The Major managed to come past Rosalie and close to Bella.
Rosalie could wield a lot of wariness when he was around but it had never been at him but at the atmosphere that surrounded him. He also knew that part of her trusted him a bit more than she trusted Jasper when it came to control.
Bella had fell asleep on the couch. Her hands around her stomach and discomfort written both in her face and emotions. He came to sit on the armrest and led his hand towards her stomach. The coven leader has never lifted the order of not using their gift on others but it wouldn't be the first time either of them had broke that rule.
And so far the coven leader has never punished them for it.
Plus. It was for the greater good.
He ignored Rosalie's warning growl from behind and rested his hand on the bulging stomach. He took a deep breath as a wave of pain hit him at the same time Bella shifted and grimaced in her sleep.
He focused on his gift and sent calm towards her. He wasn't as good with that emotion since that wasn't something he felt much but he tried to focus on that time the angel first hugged him on that field of blue roses beneath the moonlight. He remembers the starred skies and how bright the moonlight had been. The breeze. The blue petals flowing in the wind. The relaxing scent. Her peace. Understanding. Calm. Forgiveness. Affection. Gratefulness.
That was the moment she also became his hope.
The moment she went from the little menace who should have her neck removed to the angel he would follow for the rest of his life. The angel who raised him from perdition.
He remembers her bright golden gaze. Her smile. Such beautiful face.
He wanted Bella to feel the hope he had felt in that moment. Wanted her to know that she wasn't alone even if the same bastard who was meant to be her mate was giving her his back. She wasn't alone. She was strong and she had all the right to stand up for herself. Nothing that made her happy was a mistake. This was her choice and no one had the right to take that from her. He knew the angel was against it too and so were most of the Cullens.
But he didn't care.
It would break his angel to lose her sister. He knew it. But she had to understand that this wasn't her choice. Not the mind reader's. Not the dog's. But Bella's. She wanted to keep the brat then so be it.
This was something she wanted. Then he would let it happen. The least he could do was appease her pain even if just for a while. He watched as her features relaxed and heard the soft sigh of relief leave past her lips.
He stared at her stomach for a while. Wondering what kind of creature was growing inside. Human mother. Father vampire. A halfbreed? Something told him that that little thing whatever came out as would be either the weakest thing to ever walk the Earth or the strongest.
Of course no stronger than him since nothing was stronger than a black blood but still...
He wondered... if Bella couldn't be turned and died... Would the Cullens reject the brat? He knew Rosalie wouldn't. In fact. He knew that a dark part in her was excited to hopefully finally get the baby she so much desired, regardless of the method.
He wasn't one to judge. Worse things he had done than crave to keep someone's else's unborn child.
Still. Focus .
He thought about the field of blue roses. About that time he was forced to lay down on the grass and watch the stars for hours, the angel's head resting on his chest. He remembers the rustling leaves as the wind made the branches dance. He remembers the intense scent of lavender. The colorful flowers. He thought about the little things where he had felt such immense peace despite their simplicity.
The brownies with caramel from Esme. The starred nights. The silence. The weight of the angel on his back. The purr from a kitten. Singing birds. Crickets. Leaves rustling. Maria's death. The sound of rain landing on the leaves. The flapping wings of a butterfly. The buzzing of bees. The sound of waves hitting ashore. The angel's singing voice. The feeling of sand between his toes.
It filled his chest with such a sense of absolute peace. It brought him good memories that he held onto like a lifeline. Beautiful. Golden.
He would have never expected to love something as worthless as candies. Chocolate for the most part. He loved the taste and how good it made him feel on the inside.
Or something as simple as a walk on the beach while barefoot. To hear the seagulls and smell the salt in the air. The waves. See turtles' eggs hatching and getting to watch them go into the ocean. Sometimes picking them up with a foreign care he never saw himself wielding. Picking up seashells and getting to hear the angel's laughter.
Or to pick up an abandoned kitten from the streets and getting to nurse it back to life. Happiness. Such a soft and small thing that he could crush between his hands. It had trusted him with its life and it had made him feel odd when he had to let it go. Upset .
This life where he could be free to do whatever he pleased whenever he pleased. He loved fighting for it made him feel safer. If people feared him no one would dare to attack them.
But the kind of peace he felt whenever he laid on the grass and closed his eyes. When all he could hear were butterflies and bees. A river running. Birds singing. It filled him with such a warmness and sense of freedom it sometimes felt too overwhelming to handle.
Happiness. Peace. Hope.
That's what he felt in this place despite all.
And Bella had taught him that maybe, just maybe, humans weren't just food. They could be something as amazing and golden natured as her.
Thus he wanted her to feel like he felt. He wanted her to feel the overwhelming peace of a walk on the beach with no worries to be attacked. He wanted her to feel safe. Protected. Hopeful. All those emotions that were so new to him but oh so wonderful. He wanted her to feel them all now that she most needed positive emotions.
He wanted her to not feel pain even if just for a while.
~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes forgetting the extent of Jasper's gift was easier than it should.
And then he went and obliterated the entire house in a sea of nothing but such crushing calm it tethered over the edge of drowsiness. Such peace. Comfort. Happiness. Warmness... It felt like nothing could ever go wrong.
He had been so withdrawn lately that this sudden change was almost off-putting.
Turns out it wasn't Jasper the one broadcasting these emotions but his alter if his relaxed posture was something to go for. He was touching Bella's stomach and he looked more relaxed than anyone had ever seen him.
In fact.
So relaxed Edward was able to catch his thoughts for a fleeting moment. Something about a beach and a smiling Alice holding a screaming seagull between her hands.
It was such a strange thing and he was unable to see more.
Still.
Bella looked like she was at peace with the world itself in her sleep. More peaceful than she had looked in a while.
And part of him burnt with it.
Because the most problematic and violent member of the family was bringing her such peace and he, her husband, was doing nothing but bringing her more distress.
How was that right?
If he could treat her with such care Edward refused to be the one to treat her bad.
