a/n: Welcome to the absolute dumbest idea I've ever had.
Chapter One
A Prossipition
Silence descended over the Akatsuki hideout. Shadows rippled off the puddles on the ground, while the faintest of torchlight illuminated the Gedo Statue along the back wall.
At its base, Orochimaru stood in shock at the scene before him: the black half of Zetsu standing over the white half, dead on the ground.
"Do you believe me now?" asks the black half, now nothing more than a mass of chakra in humanoid form, its yellow eyes drilling into the snake sannin.
Orochimaru smirked to hide his unease. "What…what is this…?"
"I told you," said Zetsu, voice low and crooked. "I am the will of the Kaguya Otsutsuki."
The story was a far-fetched one. That there once existed a rabbit goddess who was also the progenitor of chakra was hard to believe, even for someone as well-versed in the secret arts as Orochimaru. But the thing before him now was certainly making him think twice…
"So you are," said the sannin. "But even so…why tell me?"
Zetsu turned to its white half below. "Because I hear you have a jutsu that can revive the dead."
"You have heard correctly—but it is impossible to revive this…Kaguya."
The lifeless yellow eyes snapped back to the old snake. "Why…?"
Orochimaru laughed at the creature's innocence. It looked menacing, but it still had much to learn. "The person's DNA is necessary to bring them back to life, and since her body is not here, we have no way of getting it."
"Ah," said Zetsu, "but you're wrong—her body is here."
Walking slowly to the Gedo Statue, Zetsu lifts its arm high and turns his hand into a sharp blade, bringing it down on the wooden leg and slicing a small piece of it clean off. It picks the shard up from the ground and brings it to Orochimaru, dropping it at the sannin's feet.
"She is sealed inside the statue. Her DNA is surely a part of it."
Orochimaru's snake eyes went from Zetsu to the statue and back again, all the while wide in shock. That a woman could even be sealed inside a statue was strange enough, but that a manifestation of her will was now asking him to bring her back to life?
The likelihood that this would even work was slim, but still…
It was all so exciting.
A wicked laugh escaped Orochimaru. "Fine, Zetsu. I will help you." He raised his arm, and a snake came slithering out from under his sleeve. Its winding body wrapped around the sannin's hand before its jaw opened wide and dropped a scroll into his palm.
Zetsu returned to the side of the white corpse on the ground. "Soon, Mother…soon we will be together again…"
The scroll drops to the ground and unrolls, revealing the seal for the Edo Tensei. Orochimaru takes the shard of the statue and drops it in the centre of the parchment, and raises his hands over it. Gathering his chakra forth, the scroll begins to glow with a faint blue light.
Suddenly, there was a pulse of energy; then a wide array of black markings shot out from the seal and encircled Zetsu—the black half.
"What…?" The dark mass of chakra turns to Orochimaru. "What is this…?"
"My apologies," the sannin says, voice slithering through the shadows, "but the jutsu does require a…living sacrifice."
For the first time, Zetsu's yellow eyes sprang to life, coloured with the shock of betrayal. "Orochimaru! You tricked me!"
The old snake grins wickedly. "Yes. I did."
Out of the darkness, dust and ash gathered around black Zetsu, molding into a thin gray layer that covered the creature's body. Its anguished and agonizing screams filled the hideout for a moment before they faded away into nothingness, the black mass of chakra now nothing but a memory.
In its place, Orochimaru laid his eyes on the most striking woman he had ever seen. Though her skin appeared fraught with signs of decay, it appeared white as the pale moon. She wore a long and loose white robe, that of a princess with six tomoe running vertically down its centre. Her hair, snow-coloured but tinged with gray, flowed down the ground and formed a trail behind her feet, while two brown horns sprouted from just above her temples, giving her the impression of a true rabbit goddess.
Her Byakugan eyes focused on Orochimaru now, and a third, vertical eye, reminiscent of a Sharingan but with 9 tomoe spread over three different rings, shone red like a blood moon and the colour of her lipstick.
"Well, now," Orochimaru began. "This is fascinating. You are the one known as Kaguya, yes?"
Kaguya turned away from him without so much as a word, and her gaze fell instead on the white half of Zetsu. Kneeling down, she raised a hand to the head of the corpse, pronged her fingers around its half-face.
An immense pressure filled the hideout as white Zetsu was absorbed by Kaguya. The blemishes on the woman's skin vanished and life returned to her completely.
Orochimaru could only watch as the rabbit goddess fought off his greatest jutsu. A nervous excitement gripped him tightly.
"You're quite something, aren't you? I will certainly enjoy taking your power for—"
The next thing he knew, he was shot across the hideout and sent crashing into the rocks near the entrance. As he fell to his knees, the snake sannin was grabbed by the throat. Kaguya, floating, raised him up to her eye level.
"Speak, human." Her voice was powerful, yet elegant and refined, and she spoke with an ancient wisdom. "Were you the one who returned me to the mortal world?"
"Y-yes…" The words just barely manage to slip out as his throat begins to collapse.
Kaguya studied him for a moment, her pale eyes shining like the moon. "Then you have my gratitude—and to show you my thanks, I will honour you by reclaiming your chakra first."
"Re…claim…?"
The sannin didn't have to wonder long about what the words meant as the woman's hand soon pierced him through the chest. Suddenly, the heat of the sun filled his body as his chakra was ripped away from him.
The wicked screams only lasted for a moment before Kaguya let him fall to the ground. "What a pity," she said. "Such insignificant chakra…" Her feet do not touch the ground as she leaves the hideout behind, the light of day hitting her pale skin for the first time in a millennium.
As Orochimaru watched her float off, the darkness came for him. He died with a smile, unable to help from laughing at his final thought.
"What have I done…?"
- I -
It was easy to move through the forest when you could fly, but Kaguya was still having a bad time. There were so many chakra signatures calling out to her—a terrible sign. Her traitor of a son must have dispersed his poor excuse for teachings across the land. She is glad he isn't around this time, but promised herself to kill him if she ever sees him again.
The truly depressing part, though, was that everyone she sensed had such tiny amounts of chakra, they weren't even worth seeking out. To think that all of her power be had by such…weaklings! Horrifying!
And so, with a furrowed brow and a hunger for power, Kaguya set off in the direction of the largest clump of energy she could feel. She could have transported herself directly there, but how trite? The world would be hers soon enough; the people could have an extra hour.
Through the forest she flew at mach speed, stopping only as she reached the edge of a small town. The clump of chakra was a ways beyond this place, but the feeling of something curious nearby piqued her interest. Whatever it was, it felt as though it was hers…
Finally letting her feet touch the ground, Kaguya moved through the town. There were, she noticed, a surprising number of children about, some of them playing and some eating, but few of them bothered by her appearance; the adults on the other hand, all turned and stared. It wasn't every day a goddess walked through a decrepit town like this. Kaguya knew as much, her own beauty nothing more than a trivial fact of life, like the blue sky or the air she breathed.
Despite this, though, there was one man whose eyes were not drawn to her. He wore a green vest, a combat jacket of some kind, over a navy blue tracksuit. His brown hair was done up in a high ponytail, and a scar ran across the bridge of his nose, wrinkled up as he appeared to be thinking about something important.
He seemed average enough, but the fact that he could ignore her presence was something a rarity. Intriguing, to say the least.
Soon, the man was approached by a young girl, who had come running. The child whispered something in his ear, and he erupted. "What!? Naruto's gone!?"
Without so much as a glance in her direction, the man stormed off. "I knew this trip was a bad idea!"
Kaguya could only watch, annoyed. This age clearly has no respect, she determined—but still, she was gone from the town shortly, with no one there even worth the effort to kill.
As she went back into the forest, she continued to walk, curious about the strange feeling of the dirt on her feet, distracted by a large, somewhat familiar chakra signature she was approaching…
Finally, when she felt as though she had found the source of the energy, she reached a clearing—and in the middle of the forest ground, a blonde boy with whisker marks on his cheeks was whipping kunai against the bark of a tree and yelling his lungs out.
"Hiyah! Yah!"
Kaguya was still for a moment as she watched, feeling his chakra. There was no doubt about it—she had once carried that very chakra within herself. Once, it belonged to the God Tree; but no longer.
What was hers, was hers.
"Boy."
The child stopped upon hearing the voice, panting as he turned around to see her. There was a confused look in his eye as he studied her up and down. "What do you want, lady?"
Lady…? The nerve of this brat was thick, she would give him that much.
Kaguya walked over to him, heavy pressure exuded by her eyes. "Be silent, boy, as I take back what is rightfully mine."
Still, though, the boy did not flinch. "Huh? What the hell are you talking about, lady? I didn't take anything from you!"
"It is not something you took, boy, but something you were given. Now," she said, extending her white hand out, "it will be with me once again."
"Hmm…" The boy couldn't help from frowning, oblivious to the pressure Kaguya was exuding. "I don't really get it…" He turned his curious blue eyes to her dress and her flowing hair. "But hey, you look kinda funny. Where are you from?"
Kaguya was frozen in shock. "Funny…?" No one had ever spoken to her like that before.
"Well, sure," he continued. "I mean, isn't your hair a little long? You probably trip on it all the time! And that eye in the middle of your forehead—what kinda person has three—?"
"Enough."
The immense power in her voice was enough to make the boy's knees buckle, and he fell onto his butt, his eyes wide as he stared up at her. Kaguya lifted a hand, flickers of lightning forming around her fingers, and all three of her eyes glared at him, ready to kill.
She realized then that there was something besides the chakra that was familiar about this boy.
"You remind me of my son."
"R-really?" the boy stammered, panicked. "H-he must be super cool, then!"
"No," said Kaguya. "I hate my son."
"O-oh…"
He swallowed hard, the fear taking him over—but soon, his eyes fell from fright into sadness, and he turned somber as he turned away from the rabbit goddess, hugging his knees.
"I thought moms were supposed to be nice…"
Suddenly, Kaguya stopped. The weight of her chakra fell away, and her hand fell to her side. It was true: something about this boy reminded her of her own son—but of her son at an earlier time, before their falling out; before they turned into mortal enemies.
Nevertheless, she had to steel herself: she would not come undone by the sad face of a child.
"Do not question me, boy. My son was a fool who understood nothing. For years I trained him, molded him into a fine warrior—and in the end, he betrayed me."
"But that's not what a mom is supposed to be like!" said Naruto. "They're supposed to love you and make you wear a scarf in the winter and feed you all sorts of delicious food!"
Kaguya Otsutsuki, the Rabbit Goddess, soon began to question herself—was the boy right? Had she really been so misguided? It was true that she didn't know much about the ways of these lowly humans…
"What is your name, boy?"
He looked up to her, confused. "My name's Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki!"
"Naruto," Kaguya repeated. "Let me ask you something: does your mother do these things for you? Does she love you, and…make you wear a scarf?"
Naruto frowned, his face dropping into his knees. "T-that's just what I learned from the other kids…I don't have a mom…"
All of a sudden, the strangest feeling came over Kaguya as she saw the pain in Naruto's face: sadness. She was sad for the boy; of that there was no doubt.
She thought back to her own children, Hagoromo and Hamura, and how the three of them were at one time so inseparable it was a wonder how they ever fell apart; and then, the next memory came to her, one of Hagoromo's glaring eyes as he sealed her away for a millennium; and Kaguya could not help from wondering where it all went wrong.
Time, she realized, had softened her. The very idea of killing this boy, of doing him any harm at all, was unbelievable; in fact, it was the opposite! As she looked into his big blue eyes now, she knew that she only wanted one thing: to protect the boy…
"Alright, boy," Kaguya began, "I—"
"My name's not 'boy!' It's Naruto!"
Could a goddess be embarrassed? If so, Kaguya certainly was at the moment. "Y-yes…Naruto. I have a proposition for you."
Naruto suddenly looked at her as if she had five heads. "A prossipition? What is that?"
"A proposition," Kaguya corrected. "A deal. I will not kill you today—instead, I will stay by your side and watch over the part of my power that is inside of you. And in exchange, you will teach me what it means to be a mother."
Naruto was silent for a moment, only staring at the woman before him with big blue eyes. "Wait," he finally said, "you mean…you want to be my mom?"
Could goddesses be embarrassed? If so, then Kaguya certainly was now. But it was the smart thing to do, she told herself. If she wasn't going to take her chakra back from the boy, then she should at least be around to protect it, shouldn't she?
"That's right," she said to Naruto. "Is that a problem?"
Yes, thought Kaguya, a purely logical decision.
"Hmm…" Naruto pondered for a moment before coming to a firm decision. "Nope, I guess not!"
Finally, he got up to his feet and walked up to Kaguya. Sticking his hand out, he smiled brightly, the sunlight of the forest landing on his adorable face.
"It's a deal!"
Kaguya tried her best to ignore the warmth in her heart as she stuck out her hand. It was such a strange feeling, after all—one she hadn't had since her own children were Naruto's age and gave her that same, lovely smile.
What was it called, again…? Ah, yes…
Happiness.
