Screamie: Thank you to all who reviewed! I wantcha ta know, I am posting a new story today
that is pure humor, and has Mamo-barf being totally humiliated!

Celes: In other words, it's a good fic, that speaks facts.

Screamie: Anyhoo, the reviewers said it was hard to read and go down to the translations, so
starting now, I am putting the words in parenthesis right next to them. Oh! By the way!
~piscesangel~! Ni is a word in Chinese that has multiple meanings! Like Chang, in Chinese
it is a family name, a draconic name, multiple pieces of jewelry, etc. There is even a city
named Wuchang! Which I someday want to go there.....(Maybe it's Wu-wu's hometown!) Anyways,
Here's chapter two, Duo won't die but he will be.....scared shitless. And I have one vote
for Hiiro/Hotaru.....should I go with that?

If you don't like something in the story, let me know if it is CONSTRUCTIVE! If it is
'Usagi and Mamoru belong together and destiny blah blah blah'...........BITE ME!

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Usagi was fast asleep in the early morning, in her pajamas that were pretty much
transparent red with red lacy roses all over the shorts that were very short, and the shirt
cut off a few inches shorter than necessary, it showed her belly button.
(Think Victoria's Secret.)

Wufei had given them to her for her 16th birthday. He denied all sexual ineundoes, but
insisted she wear them THAT night. She had, but wore a robe over it in embarassment.
She remembered looking out at the lawn in her home in Guangzhou (Thought about doing the
Wuchang thing, but it might be a little redundant) when she felt his arms around her.
"You don't like my present?" "I...I never said.....said I...I..I d-d-didn't." "Then why
aren't you wearing it?" "I-i-i...I am." "You're covering it." "I...I.." She reverted to
the language she had learned from Shelley, the girl from Ukraine. Or was it Russia?
"Neta cold." "It is not. It is a warm night." "Is not warm. Is very cold." She felt his
hand around her waist, from behind, slipping forward and undoing the tie to her robe.
"It won't be soon," he whispered in her ear.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Usagi jolted awake, gasping for breath. "Ano....ano..." She remembered what she had
dreamed about, (She had gotten farther than I put, WAY FARTHER, demo, I don't want to have
to rate this higher than it is....ya know?) "Ohhhhhh......." She smiled to herself, remembering
that night TOO clearly. |Man, and Wufei said he was a BIG BAD man. How was it that after that,
I had him oh so totally wrapped around my finger he couldn't tell the light shining in through
the window was sunlight or moonlight if someone hit him in the back of the head with a reality
check| (Okay, was that any good? I suck at making up sayings)

She ran to the bathroom and looked around for her clothes. She didn't find them.
"KUSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

~Where the guys and Hotaru are~

"KUSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Was heard. Quatre, Trowa, and Duo were shocked.
Hiiro looked up. He didn't care, but was interested. They all looked at Wufei, for a reaction.
He was still eating as if nothing was out of the norm. So was Hotaru. "Umm...HELLO?!?! She
JUST CURSED!" "Stupid Waigoren. He hulihudu. (Confused) His brain filled with heimongmong!
(A dark fog)" Wufei spit out his milk as he was sniggering. "Of course he is," Wufei sneered.
"He is a braided baka waigoren." "Chr fan, Waigoren!" (Eat, American) Wufei smirked. Duo
scowled. He was gonna get Wufei back for this.

Usagi ran down the hallway, straight to the guys, in her outfit Wufei gave her 2 years
ago. "WHOA! HEY THERE CHINESE/JAPANESE BABE!" She stood there, nonchalauntly, looking sooooo...
'SEXY' Wufei's mind supplied. 'Mmmm. I could walk up to her right now and - WHAT THE HELL
AM I THINKING?!?!?! SHE ISN'T MY ONNA ANYMORE! But I wish she was....then I could be her
Hwai Dungsyi again and she could be my Syi Wang Mu....and she could be the Mother of my...
no our children.....GODAMMIT WUFEI GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS!'

"Where," Usagi's cold, angry voice sliced through the thickness in the air. "Are MY
clothes?!?!?!?! I had 20 dresses, and 10 pants, and 14 pairs of shoes. WHERE ARE THEY?!?!"
"Th-th-th-th-the s-s-s-s-s-s-servants a-a-are w-w-washing th-them." "And it only took you
fifteen tries to say the whole sentence, Winner." Usagi said. "MAN! You sound just like
WU-MAN!" "Ma-" Before Wufei could finish his sentence, Usagi had removed her nun-chucks and
hit Duo over the head hard. "OWWWWWW!" She grabbed his braid and yanked so hard she ripped out
a handful of hair. (Sorry Duo fans, but I'm one....it HAD to be done!) Then, she shoved his
braid in his mouth and said "SHUT UP BAKA WAIGOREN!" Duo felt his hair and screamed when he
felt a big BIG bald spot. "WAH MY HAIR!!!! WU-MAN YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS EVIL!!!!! I WILL GET
REVENGE!!!!"

~Later on~

"HEY WU-MAN! I HAVE YOUR FAVORITE KATANA! OOPS! I BROKE IT IN HALF! YOU SCREAM LIKE
A WOMAN! YOU LOOK LIKE A WOMAN!" "MAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLL!!!!"
Wufei shouted as he ran from the shower in his rage, in only a towel. He was seeing red.
(Red Bull gives you wings....) He ran outside and saw Duo grinning. Duo grabbed the really
long stick he had and picked off Wufei's towel, so he wasn't wearing ANYTHING. (*Covers mouth
so she doesn't drool on her keyboard* COME ON! ADMIT IT! YOU WOULD TOO!!!!!) Then, he brought
out his weapon.

THE HOSE!

Wufei shouted curses as he was sprayed by the freezing cold hose, stark nakie.
"MAXWELL YOU ARE TOAST!! TOAST!!!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! REVENGE IS SWEET! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA!

"MAXWELL TURN THAT THING OFF! IT'S COLD!"

"THAT'S THE POINT, WU-MAN!" "STOP IT MAXWELL!"

"Okay, Wu-man! Someone is here to save you!" Duo ran off.

Wufei could hear laughter that reminded him of windchimes. Wait. The only onna who laughed
like that was......no.

"Hwai Dungsyi, I honestly remember your.....ahem....being a little....teeheehee! B...b..bigger
than th....th....that."

"Injustice!" Wufei shouted at the fiercely beautiful onna as he covered up his (AHEM) with the
only thing he had.......his two hands.

"This is injustice! MAXWELL!"

"It was bigger, wasn't it? Or does my memory fail me?"

"Injustice! This is shrinkage! The water was too cold!"

She walked over to him in that strut that began the memory she was recalling. She smirked
at him and leaned up to kiss him. He went weak in the knees and bent down to kiss her.
She ducked away and smirked again. 'Oh Gods, she looks good like that....'

"Now I know your weakness....."

He blinked stupidly for a minute, mouth opening and closing dumbly. Then he realized.

"Onna!"

"Don't call me onna, Wu-wu. I'll meet you in the foyer to my bedroom. I'll get you some
dry clothes."

"Whatever onna."

She left. He was standing there, in his birthday suit, thinking one thought....

'Usagi......'


~In the house~

Hotaru sat down in a slight sadness. "I wish jyejye and Wufei would get back together."
"Doushite?" Hotaru whipped around to come face to face with Hiiro Yui. "Ano....they were happy.
He was her Hou Li, so to say. (Master Archer of the Skies.) She was his Tyandi. (Heaven and Earth)
He used to call me Syau Yen....it means Little Wild Goose. He called me that to annoy me. They
were the perfect couple. I miss him alot. He was the older brother I never had. You know?"
"Iie. I never had a family." "Honto ni?" "Hai." "Gomen." "Don't be. I'm not." "I have a feeling
I have gotten more words out of you in a few minutes than they have in a year." "They?"
"The waigoren." He smirked. "Why do you call Maxwell that?" "It means American. He is an American
devil, I am sure of it. A stupid devil, but a devil nonetheless." Hiiro smirked. He liked this
woman already. "So, how old are you?" "19. Naze?" "Just wondering." "Then how about you, Hotaru?"
"17." "Nice." "Nice? Nice how?!?!!?!?!?!!????" "You'll see." He replied with a smirk before he
left. "What is it about him that is soooooo AGITATING?!?!?!?!?!?! MEN!!!!!"


~In the Foyer~

Wufei stood there, bareassed and dripping. (Couldn't resist! Had to use the word!)
"Hey, Hwai Dungsyi." 'Syi Wang Mu.....' His mind tormented. "YOU'RE DRIPPING ON MY FLOOR, WUFEI!"
He tried to stop himself, but his mind was in the time where she had him wrapped around her
finger. His mind was back when he was her willing slave. He didn't know why, but after they
had....... he...he wanted to make her happy. He wanted to do whatever she said. He was, as
his best friend Yao had said, 'WHIPPED'. "Wufei, are you listening to me?" He immediately
looked at her, an unsure look in his eyes. A look she recognized. 'Way back when he was my
extra willing slave....' "WUFEI! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!" (Man...she is turning ChiChi on us)
"H...hai Sy........er.......onna! I AM DOING WHAT I PLEASE!" Usagi grabbed a camera and snapped
a picture. "ONNA WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" "What I please. I wonder how this would look on a
billboard....." "!!!!!!!!!!!!"

~Hotaru and Duo~

Usagi ran down with a grin. Wufei was in regular clothes and looked pissed.
Usagi shouted as she almost ran into Duo. "Hotaru?" "Hai?" "Dangsying tamende shenti!
(Watch out for the bodies!)" "Yiding (I must)?" "HAI!" She looked at Duo. "Waigoren DEVIL!"
"Told ya." Hotaru informed Hiiro, who smirked. Usagi ran over to Duo and grabbed him by the
hair. She began to slam his head on the nearest table. Wufei smirked, looking like an idiot.
"One thing you have to know about Chinese women," Rashid said, which made everyone except Usagi
look at him, she was too busy beating up a Duo who was paying attention. "They FIGHT. Someone
does something, and they are in your face, like 'You wana box, you wana box, I'll take you down
right now punk!' I speak from sad personal experience." Usagi walked away with a smirk. Duo
screamed. "THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT! I AM SORRY! I WILL LISTEN AND OBEY!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!"
He came out with his hair so thick in hair gel it was dripping off, it was sticking up in the
shape of devil's horns. Everyone laughed at his expense. (SORRY DUO FANS, IT'LL GET BETTER! I
PROMISE!)

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ALLRIGHT! Was that long enough?

PS NEXT CHAPTER : Hotaru meets a jealous Relena. Will she beat the hell out of Relena? .....
............................................................................................


.............probably. *nods*

The Screamaa,
Sailor Star Scream