Knives stared at the woman across the table, who was currently applying herself to her breakfast with a gusto that would do his brother proud. The food rapidly disappeared from her plate, yet she showed no trace of growing full. There was something about her that was different this morning, something in her face…
She was entirely relaxed, he was surprised to note. That wariness that was always lurking at the depths of her eyes had disappeared. Instead of viewing the world around her with her customary suspicion, she ignored it. She seemed truly lost in thought for the first time since he met her. Her trust in him and in the situation touched him.
Fool woman, he thought. Just because we had sex, it doesn't change things.
Much, he amended with a metal sigh.
He eyed her as he sipped at his coffee, wondering again just how he ended up here. Not that he particularly minded his current location… but him? Millions Knives, cause of the Great Fall, killer of untold millions of human vermin, sleeping and mobile, death walking through years without end… making breakfast for one of those selfsame vermin? Had anyone told him a few months ago that this day would come, he would have laughed. After killing them for the temerity of the suggestion, of course. And for having the gall to enter his sanctum. But after that minor task was completed, how he would have chuckled over the notion.
And here he was. He took another absent bite of his waffle. Eating breakfast, and contemplating doing things with the whipped cream that he never would have envisioned a year ago.
Kiley finished off what was on her plate and went back to fill it again. He watched her, distracted from his thoughts by the movement of her behind as she walked. It was… intriguing.
She smiled at him as she set her plate down, and he found himself smiling back, a natural action that only seemed unnatural when he thought about what he was doing.
"What are you thinking?" she asked.
"I was just wondering how we ended up like this."
"Amazing, isn't it? I thought we'd have killed each other before now."
"We've come close."
"True enough," she said, spearing a blueberry and popping it in her mouth.
"I never thought that a day like this would come," he mused.
"What, where you calmly eat breakfast with a vermin, or that you screw one?"
He blinked at her vulgar summation. "Both, but mostly the second one. You… I don't understand. When I'm around you, I do things that seem so right, but when I think about them, they are just so wrong."
"So don't think, then. Minds are tricky things. Emotions are much easier to comprehend."
"But illogical. There is no reason for me to want to have anything to do with you, save to make you teach me your little tricks, yet… here we are."
"Here we are indeed," she said wryly, setting her fork down. "Want to talk about it?"
"No. Not really."
She picked up her fork again. "Just like a guy," she muttered to herself.
"I am a guy. How else would you expect me to be?"
She grinned at him. "I know you're a guy. I know that very well."
He blushed. "Do you have to do that?"
"What? Make you blush?" she guessed. He nodded. "Yes. You're fiendishly cute when you blush."
"It's obnoxious."
"But you're just so cute. It's impossible to resist."
"Try."
"I do. You see how far it gets me?"
"Try harder."
"Or what? You'll lock me in the ship? My room? A closet?"
He scowled. "I might."
"I quiver in fear."
"Fear?"
"Or maybe something else."
He grinned.
"Let me finish eating first, randy one," she said with a laugh.
His grin widened, then he let it fade as he sipped at his coffee again, shaking his head slightly as he put the mug down. She had done it again. Every time he tried to remember that she wasn't worth his time, she made him laugh with one of her little comments, or distracted him from his main argument by sidetracking and then frustrating him.
She must practice.
He put another bite of waffle in his mouth and thought while he chewed. To have had sex with a vermin… his mind shied from the thought while his body ached to do it again. Really, now was not the time to be worrying over whether or not he should have; the deed was done. He had sullied himself, and found the pleasure worthy of the dirt. Yes, he had been angry, yes, he had wanted her, did want her, but he could have stopped himself. Should have? He didn't know; maybe. But he hadn't, and now he needed to incorporate that fact into his mental view of himself. Exterminator of vermin. Lover of vermin. Killer. Lover. They just didn't go together.
He resisted the urge to bury his head in his arms as he wrestled with the two opposing notions. Life had been so much easier without her. He contemplated kicking her out of the ship and going on without her, but something inside him quailed at the notion. He hadn't thought so at the time, but to live without her around, his life would be empty. He wouldn't be lonely; Ace would be out of the bulb in a week or two, but there would be a huge Kiley shaped hole in his life, a hole who's existence he hadn't even known of for the majority of his life, but having had it pointed out to him, he could not go back to the way things were.
Was this love?
He hoped not. Things were difficult enough with it just being sex.
Idly he wondered how many words Vash would use to not say "I told you so" the next time he saw him. Knowing his brother… it would be quite a few.
