Rabukome
By Yuki Takano
flame me at: tanukigirl@edsamail.com.ph

quick note:

hiya minna! i'm back again! first let me give a background on this fic. for starters, this is just a teaser. sort of an experimental fic. if no one liked this fic, for reasons for which i would truly understand. i'd remove it as fast as i can to save valuable space at fanfiction.net for better fanfics, ne? so you really have to tell me what you feel about this fic. ok? but i feel good aboutthis fic...so i just dared to post i anyway...

RABUKOME is a japanese word which means romantic comedy.

I know it sounds kinda lame, but this fic is an adaptation of a greek comedy play "Lysistrata" and the main character is Lysistrata. so that's how they got the title. but since i've adapted this to rk...i can't possibly title the fic "Kaoru" or any other name of the female characters for that matter...so um, to be fair. i chose this title. and i have retained a couple (couple! yeah right! i practically stole the whole thing anyway! i DID stole it!) of lines from the original story and added/changed a few to suit meiji era japan.

standard discalaimers apply for rk. as for lysistratra...i dunno what to say or write. but it belongs to aristophanes. but please don't sue. i'm just a bored teenager who sees rk in every story that i read. i never even make a cent out of this. not a single dime! i'm not worth suing.

well yeah, whatever. i just hope you enjoy this fic as much as you did with "A Date With A Senpai" (which I still have to finish...but i promise i would eventually finish) I just had to do something different to get my mind to start working again. Thanks for reading and reviews please! i really appreciate them! thanks again. now on to the fic



Rabukome



It was in the early morning of this particualr date and time that we find Kaoru pacing back and forth at one of the main streets of Tokyo, hands folded across her chest and looking startlingly serious. Her frown deepening as she raised her head meeting the glare of the bright sun. With furious impatiance, she took her shinai and started swinging in perferct arches, punctuating every word with each nasty swing.

KAORU: Announce a sale on imported satin kimonos or perhaps a tea party in honor of the gods of fertility and every woman of Japan would come hurrying here in no time. But today, not even one! Not a shadow of Tokyo's finest women! (She looked straight ahead, her blue eyes glittering as she dropped the arm holding her shinai) Well, here's one. (plastering an accomodating smile) Why hello Tae-san!

TAE: And hello to you too Kaoru-chan. I came here as soon as I heard.

KAORU: Good that means you've already told everyone at the Akabeko about our meeting.

TAE: Meeting? You mean, there's no sale for hair ornaments here? Not even for fresh fish or vegetables?

KAORU: Tae-san! I can't believe you're more interested in trivial things like that! There's a war going on and we shouldn't be concerened about market sales!

TAE: Oh, but I do care about the war! See, I have sent my loving husband good food to share with his friends. Anyway, what is this meeting for?

KAORU: It's really an imporatnt one Tae-san. The hope and salvation of Japan lies with the women!

TAE: Lies with the women? Tell me all about it! (getting excited)

KAORU: We have to wait for the rest of the girls to come. (looking around, sighing dejectedly to find small clusters of women around her)

TAE:(noticing the dismay in Kaoru's face) Oh, they'll be here. I passed by at Megumi's and she was already finising with Sano's hand bandage.

KAORU: (looking concerened) Was Sano seriously hurt in the brawl last night?

TAE: Umm, well... no. But he is now...(smiles mischievously) Here comes Megumi!

MEGUMI: (Grumbling to herself) Stupid Chicken Head punk! (she looks up at Kaoru) Well, what is this all about Tanuki? Spit it out! And this better be good or else...

KAORU: (Sticks out her toungue at Megumi) You're starting to sound like Sano more and more. I just can't decide wheter that's a good thing or not.

MEGUMI: (Rolls her eye) I can't believe after all these years, you're still an immature impatient brat. But where is everybody? I thought there will be a congreation of women here.

TAE: They'll be here. (assuring Kaoru with a supportive smile) You've told Misao-chan about this one right?

KAORU: I did. I was hoping that they'd come here on time. That's all.

MEGUMI: Well, can't you at least give me an idea why you called up for this meeting? And you better make this real good.

KAORU: I have decided that it's time the women take charge and do something about this stupid war.

MEGUMI: Aren't you over re-acting? I mean, I know you missed Kenshin and all, but we just have to trust them to solve the problems of the state.

KAORU: Well, it's not my fault that Sano has to stay here with the rest of Saitou's imbecile rookie cops to guard Tokyo and if I may add, not to start any street fights. How is he anyway?

MEGUMI: Oh, he'll be recovering soon. Not soon enough to start another brawl at the gambling house though. Sometimes I can't believe I ever married that good for nothing drunk... but still (sighs deeply) he has a lot of good traits you know! I just wished he has enough sense not to head off to the direction of trouble.

KAORU: We'll Sano's a good man. I'm just happy he's not smooching off the food at the dojo anymore (she said mumbling, looking past Megumi's shoulder)

MEGUMI: (Following her gaze) Oh look! Here comes the weasel with her entourage of ninjas! (snicker to herself) Really, when will the Oniwabanshuu, ever thinhk of setting their style straight...And some of the girls form the nearby town are also here!

TAE: Well, this is quite a large number of turn out. Hey, even Sae is here! (Sae approaches Tae and gives her a nice warm welcome hug!) Wouldn't you say so Kaoru? (disentangling herself from Sae's hold)

KAORU: (smiling widely) I guess so Tae-san.

MISAO: (running towards Kaoru with Okon and Omasu not far behind her) Kaoru-san! So nice to see you! (notices Kaoru's evil eye) What's the matter? Are we late? (Kaoru sighs but doesn't say anything) Well, speak up!

MEGUMI: Are you late? Not really. I suppose I should consider giving you a gold medal for tardiness. But late? I think not.

MISAO: Am I talking to you?

MEGUMI: Weasel girl! Is that you're way of greeting me a nice hello?

MISAO: Fox! And *is* that you're way of telling me that you've missed me?

SAE: Oh my! (looking from Misao to Megumi) Is this how they normally act when they are together?

KAORU: Quit it you guys! It doesn't matter if you're late...

MISAO: But I couldn't find my under kimono...and I spent an hour trying to find it when i remembered Aoshi tore it last night...

TAE: He did? Oh my! (blushes furiously) I've never imagined...

MEGUMI: Sano does it all the time. I practically have to but a new under kimono everyday! It's not something to be surprised about Tae!

SAE: (looking at Kaoru with great interest) Does Himura-san also...

KAORU: (covering her ears) I will not even listen to that one! But please girls, now that everyone is here we should just start the meeting. All those in favor please raise their hands. (A sea of hands waves infront of her face and Kaoru takes both of her hands off her ears) SInce everyone is ready. I'll make the announcement.

(everyone is silent, waiting for her to continue)

MEGUMI: (impatiently) Well? We don't have all day Kaoru.

KAORU: We have to reach an agreement with every girl here in Tokyo and Kyoto and other places to force the men to sign a peace treaty with the rebels in the highlands.

MISAO: Us?

KAORU: Yes us.

MEGUMI: Our husbands barely listens to us. How do you expect the whole Japanese Emperial Army to listen to you?

KAORU: Not just to me. But to all of us. I'm sure they'll consider what he have to tell them. Beside if they don't listen, we'll just let them suffer.

TAE: Suffer how? There's nothing that we can do to let them see our point. This is for a good cause, but there is nothing cosmic about cosmetic and GLAMOUR is our only talent. (cowers at the glares received from the ninja's and from Kaoru as well) Well, not all of us anyway. But there is little that we could do to change the ongoing war. What do ordinary housewives have do force the men in signing a peace treaty. Silk kimonos? Those expensive western shoes that *I* have recently bought?

SAE: Rings? Perfumes? (added, siding with her sister)

KAORU: Exactly!

MEGUMI: Ok, that's it. She has lost it. Can't we just write a petition to let Kenshin go home with you?

KAORU: That wouldn't be fair. I get to have my husband back, but what about the other women? Even the wives of the rebels?

MISAO: That's right. A few of them are here with us. They told me they are willing to try anything just to get this war over and done with!

KAORU: Ok, here's what we'll do. But first I want to ask you. Answer yes or no.

MEGUMI: Well, ask it! (getting slightly annoyed)

KAORU: It's about our husbands, the father of your children who had been posted somewhere in Japan. Wouldn't you like to have them home?

MISAO: Aoshi has been stationed at Okinawa for three whole months already. It was only nast night that he got home and later this afternoon he'll be returning there! It's horrible!

TAE: My husband is with Himura-san at Kyoto. Oh, I'd love it if he'll be home soon!

SAE: Yes! I would want that very much! I terribly miss my dear husband too!

OKON: And Hiko was forced to give up his immense talents in pottery making and instead show his magnificent sword fighting skill to help in the war against the rebels!

OMITSU: Oh, Hiko is such a hero!

OKON: (looking starry eyed) Most definitely!

OKON&OMITSU: We never even got the chance to say goodbye to him! (sighs deeply)

MEGUMI: Min'e staying here...unfortunately, causing troubles and adding to the whitening of my dark beautiful midnight blue hair! And I wish he'd be sooner rotated out of the line and plunged into Kyoto or Yokohama. Just not anywhere near me...we'll on a second thought...

KAORU: (sighing and giving Megumi a jaded look) Well, i have devised a scheme to end the war! Do I have your support?

TAE: Kaoru-chan, you know you can always count on me!

MISAO: Me too! I'm ready to spilt up myself right in the middle like a mackarel and give you my half!

OKON: For Hiko...anything!

OMITSU: For Hiko!!!

SAE: Whatever you say Kaoru-chan

(other girls approve and show their support)

MEGUMI: Well, it seems to me that I'm the only one here with enough sense not to readily agree with you. Will you tell us about it now so I can decide!?

KAORU: Ok, here's the plan. We can force our husbands to negotiate peace, Ladies, by exercising steadfast Self-Control. By Total Abstinence....

MEGUMI: From what?

MISAO: Yes what?

KAORU: We'll you do it?

MEGUMI: (held together by Okon and Omitsu as she tried to strangel Kaoru) GRRRR...JUST-SPIT-IT-OUT!!!!

KAORU: (taking a deep breath) Here's the plan: Total Abstinence from SEX!

(the cluster of women around her dissolves, shaking their heads, whispehring to each other, feeling sorry for the young kendo instructor who had apparently lost her mind...)


should i continue to part 2?



END NOTE:

ok, that was Part I. So do you hate it? Should I just scratch the whole idea? Throw it in the recycling bin? I know, i'm starting to come off as a weird 'hentai' freak here. but what the hell. just be kind enough to review this. if you somehow feel that this is beyond sane, could you tell it in a nicer 'i'm-sorry-but-what-the-f*ck-were-you-thinking?' kind of way? I'd really appreciate it if you do! C&C's are most welcome!

oh and yeah, who is tae's partner in the rk series? even in the manga?

btw, is OKON and OMITSU the name of the Misao's friends at Kyoto (form the Oni) coz, I'm not sure if i used the correct names and spelling. I'd appreciate it so much if you could answer me!

thanks again!