Rabukome

quick note:

ok, here's part two. i hope you enjoy this part. tell me what you all think ok? reviews are most welcome! and please keep them coming so i know what to do with this fic! and many thanks to anna-chan for telling me to get on with this fic and for being such a big help and supporting me with this.

Also to Abby-san for informing me of the right spelling for OKON and OMASU!

this fic is for my classmate sil, who played Lysistrata on our play! you go girl!

now on with the fic...

Rabukome
Part II



KAORU: (taking a deep breath) Here's the plan: Total Abstinence from SEX!

(the cluster of women around her dissolves, shaking their heads, whispehring to each other, feeling sorry for the young kendo instructor who had apparently lost her mind...)

KAORU: Wait! Where are you going! Why are you turning away! Why are you so sticken and so gloomy? What's the problem? What is this?! WAIT!!!

(the crowd of women, led by Megumi and Misao, stopped dead in their tracks and turned towards her)

TAE: Afraid I can't make it. (answers dejectedly) Sorry. (face the women) On with the WAR!

(a loud cheer interrupted. Kaoru was aghast)

SAE: Me neither! Sorry. On with the WAR!

(the women shouts widly. Kaoru raise her hands to quiet down the crowd)

MEGUMI: Ok, you're coming with me. (grabbing Kaoru's arm and leading her away) I may not be a pychiatrist, but I know I can pound some sense on your dulling brain! I'm really concerned about you, you know. God forbid Kenshin hears about this! (Kaoru stares at Megumi with steel blue eyes. Megumi was not going to backdown)

MISAO: (getting in between Kaoru and Megumi) Oh, Kaoru-chan.... I said that I will try to do anything to get peace back and Aoshi too, but this...this is RI-DI-CU-LOUS! (screeching wildly)

KAORU: (hands on her hips, glaring at Misao) This? From my little mackarel? Who was ready to spilt herself right down the middle? (she asked in an accusing tone)

MISAO: Try something else! Try anything! If you say so...I'd be willing to walk through fire barefoot! But not to give up sex! There's nothing like it Kaoru!

KAORU: (shakes her head and turns toward Okon and ) And the two of you?

OKON: Me too! I'll walk through fire!

OMASU: Me, too! Absolutely!

KAORU: Utter sluts! The entire sex! I can't believe that you do not have any ounce of will-power in your body! The most famous Oni, can't live for a few days without....

VOICE FROM THE CROWD: I am with Himura-san!

(the crowds part and everyone turns their head to the woman who spoke ....which turns out to be non other than Saitou Tokio!)

KAORU: T-tokio-san?

MEGUMI: Tokio? You mean Saitou's wife? (remembers Sano's reaction upong hearing that Saitou has a wife and grins wickeldy) Sano ought to see this.

MISAO: She looks...well, I never thought Saitou could snag someone as gorgeous as her with his attitude problem and all...

(a shy older looking Tsubame comes out from behind Tokio, followed by older version of Ayame)

TSUBAME: I asked her to come here with me Kaoru-chan and Ayame too.

TAE: But girls, you are too young to join in this...um...er scandalous meeting! (Sae elbows her sharply, but Tae ignores it)

SAE: Too young my dears. But Tokio-san, I never knew you were here in Tokyo.

TOKIO: Well, (she said rather coldly) I am here. And I'am willing to listen to Kaoru-chan. I have had enough of this silly war. And Saitou won't just give fighting up, even if he's back is killing him. And as for Tsubame and Ayame, they should speak for themselves.

(Kaoru has suddendly developed a headache, but not as worse as Megumi's)

TSUBAME: Yahiko and I are already old enough. He is old enough to join the war, is he not?

TAE: I believe, he is in his 18th summer. And we all know that the two of you are already engaged...but...(she puts a hand in her mouth) you and young Yahiko...have you?

SAE: Did you....

TSUBAME: ...(nods slowly, her face bright red)

(realization hits Tae and she began to pale and was about to faint when Sae caught her)

TSUBAME: (blushing wildly) But... Tae-san... you told me you did it to when you were young and even before you were engaged...and so did Kaoru-chan with Ken-san and Megumi-sensei with Sano-kun and even Misao and Aoshi!

(the four women blushes, chokes, sputters and coughs respectively, then they all turned towards Ayame, who was having a long distance relationship with Yutaro)

AYAME: Oh, no! (blushes) Not yet. Yutaro and I have been very good.

(a collective sighs of relief was heard)

TOKIO: Well, now. Since all of this have been cleared up. I'd like to hear what Himura-san has to say.

(silence as all turned towards Kaoru. Kaoru clears her throat uncertainly and looks at Tokio who nods at her silently asking her to continue on)

KAORU: (takes a deep breath) As I was saying, we can froce the men into signing a peace treaty with the rebels in the highland by refusing to go to bed with them, and agreeing only so when they have the copy of the peace treaty in their hands and show it to all of us.

MEGUMI: Fine! Suppose that we did, as much as possible abstain from...from what you said -- not that we would -- could something as silly as that bring peace any sooner?

KAORU: Certainly! Here's what we do. We wear our most seductive perfumes, paint and powder ourselves, wear our skimpiest kimono's, stay inside and then show them what we got.

MISAO: Seduce them? I'm great with that! In fact there was this one time when Aoshi was....

MEGUMI: (turning towards her) Will you please shut up!! We're trying to listen here!

MISAO: hmph! (pouting and crossing her arms agains her chest)

KAORU: (sighs deeply, this was not what she was planning) They'll snap to attention. And go absolutely mad to love us -- but we won't let them. We will Abstain. I imagine that they will conclude a treaty rather quickly.

MEGUMI: And what if the men just leave us flat?

KAORU: Sano? Leave you? C'mmon Megumi, you're much smarter than that! And we can always take things into our own hands if they EVER try to leave us. (she announces with a dabgerous glint in her eyes)

MISAO: Well, suppose they take us by force and drag us off into the bedroom against our wills?

KAORU: (opens her mouth, about to answer when Misao interrupts her)

MISAO: Wait...on a second thought. I KNOW i can handle that and still have fun at it. Next question please!

KAORU: For the benefit of others Misao, I should answer that qustion...well, we could hang on unto the door!

TAE: Suppose they beat us?

KAORU: Tae-san, I really think your sweet husband is not capable of doing that. But we can always give in if that is the case. But be nasty about it. Be bad sports -- men don't enjoy this forced affairs. So make them suffer. Don't worry, they'll stop soon enough.

TOKIO: She's right, a married man wants harmony -- cooperation, not rape.

MISAO: (wisphering to Megumi) You think she's talking through experience?

MEGUMI: Misao...(she said in a warning voice, she clears her throat) Well, I suppose so....(taking a deep breath) If both of you (looking from Tokio to Kaoru) approve of this...then so do we!

TAE: We do?

MISAO: Ofcourse we do. Think about the ways we could make our men squirm for a change...then in no time peace will be back and so would our normal lives.

(a cheer from the women errupts. Kaoru beams)

KAORU: Thank you so much Tokio-san, if it weren't for you...

TOKIO: Oh, don't mind it. They are our concern. Even if they are too thick-headed to see that. But we'll bring them around. This is just as good as timing as it is. I heard from Saitou that the men in the battle station are given a week of to return to their homes and then they'll be reposted to another place.

KAORU: Well, then it's settled. We'll be giving the men the time of their lives. One in which they will never forget and make them remember not to take another sword against themselves.

MISAO: Wait, don't we get to swear an oath?

MEGUMI: An oath? This isn't some secret ninja society. What do we need an oath for? I say it's a waste of time.

MISAO: But the oath is important, without it we will easily succumb to the temptation to go against what we have agreed upon. The oath strengthens our resolves. It will serve as a bind for all of us.

TAE: I agree we should take an oath.

MEGUMI: Fine! Bur what kind of an oath are we supposed to swear then?

KAORU: Well, I heard that in some foreign country soldiers slaughter a sheep and put the blood on the shield and swore by it...

MEGUMI: (giving Kaoru a superior 'you're-just-a-kid-look') Kaoru, you do not swear an oath for peace on a shield and killing a sheep! (shrudders at the thought)

KAORU: Then what do you suggest we do?

MEGUMI: Oh, I can tell you. First we should have a big jar here in the middle. Then we slaughter a jug of the finest sake and swear a mighty oath by it.

MISAO: Sano's influence I bet.

OKON: Oh, it's perfect! We just have the thing for that! (produces a jar of sake) This, form Hiko-sama!

OMASU: (produces a enormous jug) And from the hands of the master himself!

KAORU: Great! We start the oath taking immediately!

OKON: (fingering the jug Okon had put on the ground) Oh! What a tremendous display of pottery!

OMASU: A girl could get a glow just holding a jug like this! (sighs)

MEGUMI: (rolls her eyes) This is turning out like a Hiko exhibit of pottery!

MISAO: Please! Don't remind me! We have hosted several of that affair, from the bright idea of this two girls and now, Hiko wants it to be an annual event in Kyoto!

KAORU: Can we just start this? (holds the sake with Megumi and pour it in the jug)

MEGUMI: I hope Sano hasn't heard about this. This jug of sake is now official in danger of being chugged down in five seconds flat.

OKON: But, do remember Megumi dear, that Hiko still holds the record of a two seconds flat.

MEGUMI: How can I forget? The lousy day that they competed in drinking session. It almost caused my marriage!

MISAO: Cut it out you two. Now, what do we do next?

KAORU: (holds a cup and takes pours sake from the jug) Alright ladies, repeat after me!

(the women clears their throat and readied themselves to take the oath)

KAORU: I WILL WITHHOLD ALL RIGHTS OF ACCESS OR ENTRANCE
FROM EVERY HUSBAND, LOVER OR CASUAL ACQUAINTANCE
WHO MOVES IN MY DIRECTION WITH AN ERECTION

MISAO: who m-moves in my dirction in erection -- oh, Kaoru...where do you get such ideas! Maybe we'd better...

KAORU: I WILL CREATE, IMPERFORATE IN CLOISTERED CHASTITY
A NEWER, MORE GLAMOROUS, SUPREMELY SEDUCTIVE ME
AND FIR MY HUSBAND'S DESIRE WITH MOLTEN ALLURE
BUT REMAIN TO HIS ADVANCES ICILY PURE
IF HE SHOULD FORCE ME TO SHARE THE CONNUBIAL COUCH
I REFUSE TO RETURN HIS STROKE WITH THE TEENIEST TWITCH.
I WILL NOT LIFT MY SLIPPERS TO TOUCH THE TATCH
OR SUBMIT SLOPING PRONE IN A HANG DOG CROUCH
IF I THIS OATH MAINTAIN
MAY I DRING THIS GLORIOUS SAKE
BUT IF I SLIP OR FALTER
LET ME DRINK WATER!

(After having finished their oath, the women take turns in drinking form the cup)

MEGUMI: (to KAORU as she drank form the cup) Not too much Kaoru-san, remember the time you drank too much?

MISAO: Annd you know how anxious we are to become allies and friends. Not to mention staying friends.



end part 2. part 3 anybody?

Author's notes:

Ok, i've messed up aristophanes work. I didn't re-write the oath, because i cannot top that, nor can i change it and still have the same meaning afterwards. so to be safe, i borrowed it.

c&c's will be very much appreciated!

thanks again!