RABUKOME
Chapter 5
short note: minna! I hope you're all doing great. I'm hurrying up the chapters here and I want to thank everyone who had been so kind and have given me their reviews. thank you and I hope that you have fun with this chapter. I know that some characters here are 'out of character' and well, I guess my only explanation is these men are on a lot of stress from war, they are tired and well....whatever. but maybe we can all redeem them later on as the story progresses. As you can all see, this is more like 'THE GIRLS' kind of story, so they have to be stronger and wittier. anyway reviews and flames (anything you want to tell me) will be gladly accepted. and can anyone help me with the title for this chapter?
Rabukome
Chapter 5
The men are where we left them, some are now already settled inside the station while others have decided to camp out. Saitou is trying to straighten his office and filing the important confidential papers, which thankfully none of the women have touched. He is thinking that Kaoru and the rest of the girls, including his wife are some piece of work. He had never been so humiliated in his life, but still it hadn't top Hiko's earlier blunder and he was glad about it.
Meanwhile Kenshin and the rest of the guys are having a conversation outside, licking their wounds. Saitou was glad to rub in a few salts as he was quite confident that no one would dare challenge him or had enough brains to give him a come back which he will not be able to defend. And even if all of them try to deny it, they are having a great time, since they are all assured that whatever their wives have planned or had vowed not to do, they could easily break it.
HIKO: Wake up you men! Preserve our freedom! The time is now.
CHOU: (to Yahiko) Well, that's fast. I thought that he won't be able to get over the 'drenching' thing.
YAHIKO: Hiko? Ha...he's probably in the state of denial right now. But I'm not going to be the one to remind him of today's fiasco.
HIKO: Strip for action men! Let's cope with the current mess.
SAITOU: The trouble may be terminal, it has a loaded odor, an ominous aroma of constitutional rot. They're feverish to freeze my be-all, my end-all....
CHOU: MY PAYROLL!!!
OKINA: I never thought that this day would come, when we are all deprived of one of the greatest pleasures....
AOSHI: Okina, you've been deprived ages ago.
HIKO: (striking an epic pose) I will not allow such thing!
KENSHIN: Oro! It thought you'd been celibate for the last couple of years?
HIKO: Shut up Baka deshi. With the full approval of the immortal gods....I plan to break that damn vow they're are so proud of.
CHOU: Yeah? I bet you couldn't even get close to them.
HIKO: Do I know you? Am I talking to you?
CHOU: (opens his mouth to answer) I...
HIKO: Then SHUT UP!
SANO: (looking a bit haggard with bandages on his arms and hands) Oi! Everyone is here! Good. Has any of you seen Megumi?
SAITOU: Ahou! You imbecile. Where were you? Why did you let the women take over the station?
SANO: Me? I was at the clinic! I had injuries.
SAITOU: From your wife?
SANO: Che, Saitou...don't get me started. What's going on here anyway? Where are the women? I thought they'd be hanging with you by now. Or at least at home?
YAHIKO: You mean you don't know?
SANO: Know what? Geesh, cut the crap and just tell me what the fuck is going on here?
KENSHIN: The women are staying at Dr. Genzai's. They decided to stay there for the rest of the night and for the nights to come unless with sign a peace treaty with the rebels.
SANO: Girl's night out, eh? Well, nothing harmless about that. Ne Kenshin?
YAHIKO: Certainly, but not when they all took a vow agreeing on not having....uh...not having...um...you know Sano...the uh...uh....(makes rude hand gestures. Sano is totally clueless) C'mmon Sano, work with me here.
SANO: What? I can't understand the hands thing! Spit it out will ya!
SAITOU: Sex. The females led by Himura Tanuki had decided to abstain from sex until we secure the peace treaty.
SANO: What? (pause and lets it sinks in) NANIIIII? (turns to Kenshin) How could Jou-chan do this to us? How could Megumi?
OKINA: My point exactly.
SANO: So what are you doing here? Where are the women? Why are you all just sitting around there? Che, I'll get my wife. (starts to go)
KENSHIN: Wait Sano! Where are you going?
SANO: I'm going to find them....(disappears through the night, the word aku catching lights from open stores)
YAHIKO: (shouting) Yeah! Good luck! See ya next year! (muttering) That is if you get lucky....
OKINA: (suddenly standing up, to the shock of everyone) I agree with Hiko-san
HIKO: Hiko-sama
OKINA: (rolling his eyes) Hiko-SAMA, the native respect for our manhood is small...
YAHIKO: Maybe for yours, you old man...
(everyone starts laughing)
OKINA: But probably not as tiny as yours, you little punk! (everyone laughs at Yahiko who is being restrained by Kenshin and Aoshi) As I was saying...their respect is small and is getting smaller. Let's show them who is the real boss. The man who can't battle has no balls at all!
CHOU: I agree too. We shouldn't let them push as around! The next thing we'll know they'll want to build ships and we'll be fending off female pirates!
AOSHI: (thoughtfully) A woman is an easy rider with a natural seat. (everyone starts laughing again and playfully punching Aoshi's arms)
KENSHIN: Oro! A-aoshi? This, from you?
CHOU: Where'd you learn that Zen-master?
AOSHI: (ignoring them and the blush rising in his face) Anyway, the solution is obvious. Put every woman in her place -- I don't want Misao participating in any war.
OKINA: Or my Oni girls!
YAHIKO: And Tsubame too.
KENSHIN: So what are you suggesting?
SAITOU: (taking a long hard drag of his cigar) To do this, first snare your woman around the neck! (everyone cheers and shouts in agreement)
KENSHIN: Oro! But Saitou....
HIKO: Baka deshi, do you have balls or not?
KENSHIN: (looking upset) Shishou!
HIKO: I asked you, do you have...
KENSHIN: Hai! Hai!
HIKO: Then let's do this!
(the men gather in circle and listens to Hiko's plan)
The women are huddled together in one room. Kaoru is pacing back and forth. For the last couple of hours, she had been vigilantly guarding the women. Most have tried to escaped with their husbands. It was not that she didn't understand their feelings. But it would be unfair for the rest of the girls holding on to their vows.
KAORU: I understand you ladies...in briefest compass, (dropping her voice) we all want to get laid. (cheers and loud hooting from everyone, especially from Misao). Well, that's the way things are. I've lost my grip on the girls -- they're mad for men!
MEGUMI: But sly. They slip out in droves. A minute ago I found someone trying to squeeze in into a hole, I hauled her back by the hair.
MISAO: You go girl!
KAORU: Here comes another one. Watch this. (to the first woman) You, there! What's your hurry?
1st WOMAN: Oh, Kaoru-chan, I have a lovely Milesian wool all the way from Greece in the house and the moths will simply batter it to bits.
KAORU: I'll bet. Get back inside.
1st WOMAN: I swear I'll hurry right back! Just enough time to spread it on the floor.
TOKIO: Your wool will stay unspread. And you'll stay here.
1st WOMAN: Do I have to let it rot?
MEGUMI: Possibly.
(The first woman heaves a dejected sigh and returns with the other girls .A second woman runs on)
2nd WOMAN: Oh dear, oh goodness what shall I do -- the clothes are still hung in the yard. I left them. I'll just go and take them inside.
MISAO: Another one. Stay here. No one will steal your clothes.
2nd WOMAN: I'll be right back. I just have to get them.
OMASU: No. No. You start it and everyone else will want to go and get their clothes too.
(The second woman gives up. A third woman, swelling conspicuously, hurries on praying loudly)
3rd WOMAN: O Goodness! Childbirth! Grant that I not deliver until I get out of here.
KAORU: What sort of nonsense it this?
3rd WOMAN: I'm due -- any second!
MEGUMI: You weren't pregnant yesterday!
3rd WOMAN: Today I am -- a miracle! Let me go home... I may not make it.
MEGUMI: Perfect then. I'm a doctor.
3rd WOMAN: Uh...well...I have my own midwife! I promised that she'll help me with this little one!
TAE: You can do better than that! (tapping the woman's stomach and receiving a metallic clang)
SAE: (tapping again) What's this? It's hard.
3rd WOMAN: I'm having a boy.
KAORU: Not unless his made of bronze. Let's see. (she throws open the woman clothes, exposing a pot)
TOKIO: Of all the brazen...Pregnant indeed!
3rd WOMAN: I am SO pregnant!
OKON: Then why the pot?
3rd WOMAN: I thought I'd be ready to cook and feed the baby.
KAORU: Nothing but excuses! (Taking the pot and giving it to the woman) This is your baby. I'm afraid you'll have to stay until we give it a name.
3rd WOMAN: But I can't sleep here!
MISAO: Well, yeah me too. Those goddamned holy owls! All night long, (imitating the sound) Tu-wit, Tu-wu -- they're hooting me into my gave!
KAORU: Alright, lets call a halt to this hocus-pocus. You miss your men -- now isn't that the trouble? (everyone nods) Don't you think they miss you just as much? I can assure you, their nights are every bit as hard as yours.
TOKIO: So be good girls. Endure! Persist a few more days and victory is ours.
MEGUMI: It's fated anyway. Can you ever think that those bumbling fools can win over us? The men will go down to defeat before us, provided that we maintain a united front. We will be successful in making the lower the upper!
MISAO: Then we'll be lying on top?
(everyone groans out loud)
The men are walking towards the women's hiding place. Okina finds an old woman, who is still very much pretty with rosy cheeks and bright brown eyes.
OKINA: Let me kiss that wizened cheek...
OLD WOMAN: (threatening with a fist) A wish too rash for that withered flesh!
OKINA: (gets mad) ....and lay you low with a flying kick. (he tries but misses)
OLD WOMAN: (haughtily) Exposing an over grown underbush? (laughs then moves away)
YAHIKO: (laughing, clutching at his stomach) Smooth. Real smooth.
OKINA: Ah, she wasn't even worth my time. She should be thankful really. C'mmon, men lets go and hurry up to our wives!
AOSHI: You don't have a wife Okina.
OKINA: Ah, but why must you say it out loud? I'm jolted already. Thank you.
Kaoru scan the horizon. When her gaze reaches the left, she stops suddenly.
KAORU: Ladies, attention! Battle stations please! And quickly! ( a general rush of women take their pitchers and their combs in hands)
MISAO: What is it?
MEGUMI: What's all the shouting for?
KAORU: A MAN! Yes, it's a man. And he's coming this way! Hmmm. Seems to have suffered a seizure. Broken out with a nasty attack of love.
MISAO: I don't care who he is -- where is he?
KAORU: There, flanking between the trees.
MISAO: My. Definitely a man. (to Kaoru) Do you think its Aoshi?
MEGUMI: I wonder who it can be?
KAORU: See for yourselves. Can anyone identify him?
MEGUMI: Oh great! I can. That's Sano!
MISAO: (shouting) Ey Sano! What's up?
KAORU: (to Megumi) Your duty is clear. Seduce him all you want, sear him with kisses, coyness, caresses, everything -- but stop where out oath begins.
MEGUMI: Relax, I can take care of this....
author's note: ok. it ends there. i hope that you liked that one. reviews please! thanks again. to the next cahpter, anyone?
Chapter 5
short note: minna! I hope you're all doing great. I'm hurrying up the chapters here and I want to thank everyone who had been so kind and have given me their reviews. thank you and I hope that you have fun with this chapter. I know that some characters here are 'out of character' and well, I guess my only explanation is these men are on a lot of stress from war, they are tired and well....whatever. but maybe we can all redeem them later on as the story progresses. As you can all see, this is more like 'THE GIRLS' kind of story, so they have to be stronger and wittier. anyway reviews and flames (anything you want to tell me) will be gladly accepted. and can anyone help me with the title for this chapter?
Rabukome
Chapter 5
The men are where we left them, some are now already settled inside the station while others have decided to camp out. Saitou is trying to straighten his office and filing the important confidential papers, which thankfully none of the women have touched. He is thinking that Kaoru and the rest of the girls, including his wife are some piece of work. He had never been so humiliated in his life, but still it hadn't top Hiko's earlier blunder and he was glad about it.
Meanwhile Kenshin and the rest of the guys are having a conversation outside, licking their wounds. Saitou was glad to rub in a few salts as he was quite confident that no one would dare challenge him or had enough brains to give him a come back which he will not be able to defend. And even if all of them try to deny it, they are having a great time, since they are all assured that whatever their wives have planned or had vowed not to do, they could easily break it.
HIKO: Wake up you men! Preserve our freedom! The time is now.
CHOU: (to Yahiko) Well, that's fast. I thought that he won't be able to get over the 'drenching' thing.
YAHIKO: Hiko? Ha...he's probably in the state of denial right now. But I'm not going to be the one to remind him of today's fiasco.
HIKO: Strip for action men! Let's cope with the current mess.
SAITOU: The trouble may be terminal, it has a loaded odor, an ominous aroma of constitutional rot. They're feverish to freeze my be-all, my end-all....
CHOU: MY PAYROLL!!!
OKINA: I never thought that this day would come, when we are all deprived of one of the greatest pleasures....
AOSHI: Okina, you've been deprived ages ago.
HIKO: (striking an epic pose) I will not allow such thing!
KENSHIN: Oro! It thought you'd been celibate for the last couple of years?
HIKO: Shut up Baka deshi. With the full approval of the immortal gods....I plan to break that damn vow they're are so proud of.
CHOU: Yeah? I bet you couldn't even get close to them.
HIKO: Do I know you? Am I talking to you?
CHOU: (opens his mouth to answer) I...
HIKO: Then SHUT UP!
SANO: (looking a bit haggard with bandages on his arms and hands) Oi! Everyone is here! Good. Has any of you seen Megumi?
SAITOU: Ahou! You imbecile. Where were you? Why did you let the women take over the station?
SANO: Me? I was at the clinic! I had injuries.
SAITOU: From your wife?
SANO: Che, Saitou...don't get me started. What's going on here anyway? Where are the women? I thought they'd be hanging with you by now. Or at least at home?
YAHIKO: You mean you don't know?
SANO: Know what? Geesh, cut the crap and just tell me what the fuck is going on here?
KENSHIN: The women are staying at Dr. Genzai's. They decided to stay there for the rest of the night and for the nights to come unless with sign a peace treaty with the rebels.
SANO: Girl's night out, eh? Well, nothing harmless about that. Ne Kenshin?
YAHIKO: Certainly, but not when they all took a vow agreeing on not having....uh...not having...um...you know Sano...the uh...uh....(makes rude hand gestures. Sano is totally clueless) C'mmon Sano, work with me here.
SANO: What? I can't understand the hands thing! Spit it out will ya!
SAITOU: Sex. The females led by Himura Tanuki had decided to abstain from sex until we secure the peace treaty.
SANO: What? (pause and lets it sinks in) NANIIIII? (turns to Kenshin) How could Jou-chan do this to us? How could Megumi?
OKINA: My point exactly.
SANO: So what are you doing here? Where are the women? Why are you all just sitting around there? Che, I'll get my wife. (starts to go)
KENSHIN: Wait Sano! Where are you going?
SANO: I'm going to find them....(disappears through the night, the word aku catching lights from open stores)
YAHIKO: (shouting) Yeah! Good luck! See ya next year! (muttering) That is if you get lucky....
OKINA: (suddenly standing up, to the shock of everyone) I agree with Hiko-san
HIKO: Hiko-sama
OKINA: (rolling his eyes) Hiko-SAMA, the native respect for our manhood is small...
YAHIKO: Maybe for yours, you old man...
(everyone starts laughing)
OKINA: But probably not as tiny as yours, you little punk! (everyone laughs at Yahiko who is being restrained by Kenshin and Aoshi) As I was saying...their respect is small and is getting smaller. Let's show them who is the real boss. The man who can't battle has no balls at all!
CHOU: I agree too. We shouldn't let them push as around! The next thing we'll know they'll want to build ships and we'll be fending off female pirates!
AOSHI: (thoughtfully) A woman is an easy rider with a natural seat. (everyone starts laughing again and playfully punching Aoshi's arms)
KENSHIN: Oro! A-aoshi? This, from you?
CHOU: Where'd you learn that Zen-master?
AOSHI: (ignoring them and the blush rising in his face) Anyway, the solution is obvious. Put every woman in her place -- I don't want Misao participating in any war.
OKINA: Or my Oni girls!
YAHIKO: And Tsubame too.
KENSHIN: So what are you suggesting?
SAITOU: (taking a long hard drag of his cigar) To do this, first snare your woman around the neck! (everyone cheers and shouts in agreement)
KENSHIN: Oro! But Saitou....
HIKO: Baka deshi, do you have balls or not?
KENSHIN: (looking upset) Shishou!
HIKO: I asked you, do you have...
KENSHIN: Hai! Hai!
HIKO: Then let's do this!
(the men gather in circle and listens to Hiko's plan)
The women are huddled together in one room. Kaoru is pacing back and forth. For the last couple of hours, she had been vigilantly guarding the women. Most have tried to escaped with their husbands. It was not that she didn't understand their feelings. But it would be unfair for the rest of the girls holding on to their vows.
KAORU: I understand you ladies...in briefest compass, (dropping her voice) we all want to get laid. (cheers and loud hooting from everyone, especially from Misao). Well, that's the way things are. I've lost my grip on the girls -- they're mad for men!
MEGUMI: But sly. They slip out in droves. A minute ago I found someone trying to squeeze in into a hole, I hauled her back by the hair.
MISAO: You go girl!
KAORU: Here comes another one. Watch this. (to the first woman) You, there! What's your hurry?
1st WOMAN: Oh, Kaoru-chan, I have a lovely Milesian wool all the way from Greece in the house and the moths will simply batter it to bits.
KAORU: I'll bet. Get back inside.
1st WOMAN: I swear I'll hurry right back! Just enough time to spread it on the floor.
TOKIO: Your wool will stay unspread. And you'll stay here.
1st WOMAN: Do I have to let it rot?
MEGUMI: Possibly.
(The first woman heaves a dejected sigh and returns with the other girls .A second woman runs on)
2nd WOMAN: Oh dear, oh goodness what shall I do -- the clothes are still hung in the yard. I left them. I'll just go and take them inside.
MISAO: Another one. Stay here. No one will steal your clothes.
2nd WOMAN: I'll be right back. I just have to get them.
OMASU: No. No. You start it and everyone else will want to go and get their clothes too.
(The second woman gives up. A third woman, swelling conspicuously, hurries on praying loudly)
3rd WOMAN: O Goodness! Childbirth! Grant that I not deliver until I get out of here.
KAORU: What sort of nonsense it this?
3rd WOMAN: I'm due -- any second!
MEGUMI: You weren't pregnant yesterday!
3rd WOMAN: Today I am -- a miracle! Let me go home... I may not make it.
MEGUMI: Perfect then. I'm a doctor.
3rd WOMAN: Uh...well...I have my own midwife! I promised that she'll help me with this little one!
TAE: You can do better than that! (tapping the woman's stomach and receiving a metallic clang)
SAE: (tapping again) What's this? It's hard.
3rd WOMAN: I'm having a boy.
KAORU: Not unless his made of bronze. Let's see. (she throws open the woman clothes, exposing a pot)
TOKIO: Of all the brazen...Pregnant indeed!
3rd WOMAN: I am SO pregnant!
OKON: Then why the pot?
3rd WOMAN: I thought I'd be ready to cook and feed the baby.
KAORU: Nothing but excuses! (Taking the pot and giving it to the woman) This is your baby. I'm afraid you'll have to stay until we give it a name.
3rd WOMAN: But I can't sleep here!
MISAO: Well, yeah me too. Those goddamned holy owls! All night long, (imitating the sound) Tu-wit, Tu-wu -- they're hooting me into my gave!
KAORU: Alright, lets call a halt to this hocus-pocus. You miss your men -- now isn't that the trouble? (everyone nods) Don't you think they miss you just as much? I can assure you, their nights are every bit as hard as yours.
TOKIO: So be good girls. Endure! Persist a few more days and victory is ours.
MEGUMI: It's fated anyway. Can you ever think that those bumbling fools can win over us? The men will go down to defeat before us, provided that we maintain a united front. We will be successful in making the lower the upper!
MISAO: Then we'll be lying on top?
(everyone groans out loud)
The men are walking towards the women's hiding place. Okina finds an old woman, who is still very much pretty with rosy cheeks and bright brown eyes.
OKINA: Let me kiss that wizened cheek...
OLD WOMAN: (threatening with a fist) A wish too rash for that withered flesh!
OKINA: (gets mad) ....and lay you low with a flying kick. (he tries but misses)
OLD WOMAN: (haughtily) Exposing an over grown underbush? (laughs then moves away)
YAHIKO: (laughing, clutching at his stomach) Smooth. Real smooth.
OKINA: Ah, she wasn't even worth my time. She should be thankful really. C'mmon, men lets go and hurry up to our wives!
AOSHI: You don't have a wife Okina.
OKINA: Ah, but why must you say it out loud? I'm jolted already. Thank you.
Kaoru scan the horizon. When her gaze reaches the left, she stops suddenly.
KAORU: Ladies, attention! Battle stations please! And quickly! ( a general rush of women take their pitchers and their combs in hands)
MISAO: What is it?
MEGUMI: What's all the shouting for?
KAORU: A MAN! Yes, it's a man. And he's coming this way! Hmmm. Seems to have suffered a seizure. Broken out with a nasty attack of love.
MISAO: I don't care who he is -- where is he?
KAORU: There, flanking between the trees.
MISAO: My. Definitely a man. (to Kaoru) Do you think its Aoshi?
MEGUMI: I wonder who it can be?
KAORU: See for yourselves. Can anyone identify him?
MEGUMI: Oh great! I can. That's Sano!
MISAO: (shouting) Ey Sano! What's up?
KAORU: (to Megumi) Your duty is clear. Seduce him all you want, sear him with kisses, coyness, caresses, everything -- but stop where out oath begins.
MEGUMI: Relax, I can take care of this....
author's note: ok. it ends there. i hope that you liked that one. reviews please! thanks again. to the next cahpter, anyone?
