CHAPTER SEVEN: AWWW, LOOK AT THE CUTE LITTLE KIWWY...

Dante and Eden were laughing hard. This has got to be the best moment they ever did!

"I..can't...believe..they..fell..for..that.." Eden choked, still rolling in the floor. Dante nodded, still standing, but in need of air.

"Man, I can't wait to see the looks on their faces!" he cracked up, and they laughed somemore. Why, you ask? Well, it's pretty obvious, but for now, Kaz and Seph shall search the city!

"Man.." Kaz groaned, gulping down his Vanilla Coke, "I cannot think of a shittier day!"

"What about the time everyone thought you were a Zealian because Seymour's hair dye was 'accidently' mixed into yer regular hair dye." Seph suggested. Kaz depised that moment not because everyone thought he was some mage from 12,000 B.C, but because they shortly found out he naturally was a red head.

"Oh, and I wonder how it 'accidently' got in there.." Kaz mused, now resisting the urge to dismember Seph and have some kid eat his brain. Mwahahahahahaaa, oh how Kaz loved those evil thoughts..

Seph moved a little farther away. "It wasn't me!" He protested, even though it was.

Just then, a cute little kitten crossed their path. It was a beigish-white (really creative, huh?) tabby, and it mewed and laid down on it's belly. Kaz thought it was cute and attempted to pet it, however, Seph let out a low hiss and jumped on Kaz's back.

"SAVE ME, KAZ!!" he screamed, trying to find refuge on Kaz's head. Unable to carry the extra weight, Kaz fell over, and Seph tumbled onto the sidewalk. As Kaz struggled to get up, Seph repeated the process, destroying the 0.2% of sanity that Kaz still retained.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Kaz ripped Seph off his head and threw him down on the sidewalk with so much force that Seph popped out on the other side of Earth.

While watching this humorous scene, the kitten reamined unflinching, just staring at the EXTREMELY ANGRY mage and the EXTREMELY TRAUMATIZED general. Finally, Kaz got up and huggled the kitten. Kaz had a certian love for cats.

"Are you a stray? Hm?" Kaz cooed to the cat, who was trying to play with Kaz's Dragoon Spirit. When Kaz tried to show Seph the kitten, the latter backed away in fear.

"Seph, you coward, it's a little tabby kitten!" Kaz gently scolded, then cuddled the cat somemore, stroking it's head. The cat purred with the force of a tank and Seph was all the more scared.

"Kaz.. I didn't really..have the best..experience with cats.." Seph stammered, while Kaz was slowly advancing, a smirk on his face while the kitten was purring. Hey, if I can't kill him painfully, I can at least torture him. It's more fun this way!

Seph's horrible memory begins when he was 7. His mother, JENOVA, had a big party for him. One of the gifts he recieved was a stray someone picked up off the street.

"KITTY!" Seph squealed, huggling it. That is..before..

MEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWRRRRRRRR!!!!

The kitten hissed and scratched and but Seph's hands. While Seph cried in pain, the kitten started assaulting his head. Of course, being stupid, everyone thought that the kitten was just bonding with Seph, until they saw that the kitten's mouth was foaming.

Needless to say, the cat was killed after being tested positive for rabies and Seph recieved many painful shots, From that day on, he cursed cats and hated them with a passion.

"Well, I wonder who would be mean enough to do that?" Kaz wondered in mock pity.

"You, remember?"

"... Oh yeah! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Kaz cackled, and went back to petting the kitty, who was purring contently in his arms.

Just then, a beam shot down from the clouds, and there stood, in front of Kaz:

ME, THE MYSTICAL AUTHOR OF ALL THINGS SHORT AND CRAPPY!

OK, this fanfic ain't short, but it's crappy. Huzz-zah!

"YOU!" I boomed, pointing me GREATER STAFF OF PANCAKES at Kaz. "Thank you for finding me kitty!" I chirped.

Quickly I scooped the kitten in my arms and petted it. "I missed you, Auron, where have you been?" I cooed.

"Auron..?" Kaz responded, confused. "The cat's name is Auron?"

"YES! NAMED AFTER THE LEGENDARY GUARDIAN! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" And with that, I disappeared. Oh, if you want to know, I DO have a cat named Auron and he ish sleeping on the chair next to me as I type this. He ish soooo cute! ^_^

OK.... anyway...

Seph got up, and after making sure the cat was gone, whimpered and set back on the streets. Kaz was still laughing about his 'present' to Seph those many years ago.

"You are a Zealian, aren't you?" Seph codly asked him. Kaz was a bit surprised.

"My hair isn't blue, is it?" he replied.

"But you can use magic.. and I KNOW you don't have a GF.. or materia.."

"Lulu and Vivi can use magic and they don't need GFs or Materia! Can't you just accept I'm a Black Mage!" Kaz snapped, wanting to end the conversation.

Seph stopped in front of Kaz, his eyes narrowed.

"And you like cats. Prince Janus of Zeal liked cats too.."

"Oh, so what are you implying, I'm Janus? And for the record, his name is Magus!"

"You must be the incarnation of Janus! I'm sure of it.. what was the first name that ran through your mind when you picked up the cat??"

Kaz thought a bit. "Well, the kitten looked like a girl, so I thought Schala would be.."

"SEE???" Seph shrieked. "SCHALA!! JANUS'S SISTER! YOU ARE THE REINCARNATION OF JANUS!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Seph laughed in triumph. Kaz grabbed him and finished his sentence.

"... happy that I gave her a new kitten, dumbass.." he growled. "And the first name that ran through my mind was Jun, OK??"

Seph blinked. He slowly realized that Kaz was right, and backed away slowly once Kaz released his grip. Suddenly, a pair of hands shot up and covered Seph's eyes. Same for Kaz.

"Guess whooo?" two voices sang at once.

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OOOOOHH!! SUSPENSE!! CLIFF HANGER!! OTHER CRAP LIKE THAT!!

Kaz: Aw, shut up and tell us who they are already!

Schala: Naw, that would get rid of the suspense, Janus!

Ja-..er, Kaz: I AM NOT JANUS! OR MAGUS!

Magus: Schala, you idiot, I'm here!

Schala: AHHHHHHH!! INTRUDER! *runs away*

Kaz: *death glares the author* I will have your head for this..