LOVE'S LABORS
PART EIGHT
Eloessa walked about her room, trying to ease her aching back. She felt sore everywhere these days and found it difficult to get comfortable. Calmae would no doubt be willing to provide a comforting massage with ointment made from the yellow elanore flowers. But Eloessa was restless tonight and at long last had begun to tire of Calmae's constant care. She did not want any more of her nurse's hovering this day.
Though she had sought refuge from others in the beginning and agreed with Lady Galadriel's command for secrecy, she had become very lonely in the weeks since her brother left. Calmae was devoted to her but Eloessa was used to being busy and surrounded by others. She missed the warm friendship among the women who gathered in Galadriel's bower and workrooms to spin beautiful cloth, weave wondrous garments and create breathtaking tapestries.
She had many friends and in winter, especially, the women spent the precious daylight at their work singing, laughing and telling stories. They spoke of their hopes and dreams, their men and their families. Especially their men. Galadriel would sometimes put a stop to discussions that became too ribald. But on the days when the Lady was absent, the talk often would turn earthy, indeed. Eloessa thought the strongest warrior would swoon in shock if he knew how his womenfolk talked between themselves. She smiled now at the memory.
Eloessa stopped and ran her fingers over the tapestry that hung on her bedchamber wall. It was skillfully executed but Calmae called it "disturbing." It was a forest scene and depicted a doe being attacked from many directions by great hunting dogs with dripping fangs. They looked suspiciously like Wargs. Eloessa had requested and received from Lady Galadriel her own personal supplies and enough material to start a small new tapestry. Eloessa created it in a flurry of activity over several weeks of her confinement. She liked the savagery of it. It often fit her mood these days.
Lady Galadriel's visit to deliver the supplies had been many weeks ago, however, and Eloessa had seen no one but Calmae since. She was heartily tired of these four rooms. "I feel as if something must happen and soon. I cannot find rest anywhere!" She cried.
She started another circuit of the room, trying to be quiet for her maid usually slept in the adjoining chamber. It was not easy, what with wooden floors and being nearly the size of Vesta, her mare. She trod as lightly as possible and thought of the plan she and Calmae had made. Whatever Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn decided to do, Eloessa was determined to put her plan into action. She would take back control of her fate for the first time since she left Rivendell. But of course, nothing could happen until the child was born.
The child. It was not her child. She had reached an uneasy peace with the stranger that occupied her body and had taken over her entire existence. In her darkest moments early in the pregnancy, she had considered taking her own life to prevent the coming forth of a perilous threat into a troubled world. She now acknowledged that the babe was entitled to a chance at life and to prove it could be different from its sire.
She should say "he", at least, she supposed. She had sensed for several weeks that she would bear a son. Sometimes she wished it could have been a daughter, for then she might have felt some connection, some hope the babe would not harbor the evil inclinations of the father. But when she knew the child would be a boy, a potential bond withered away before it could form. Bearing a son seemed like a victory for the Dunlending. She suspected it would have pleased him in a twisted sort of way.
She still heard him laughing sometimes, in her dreams. His spirit haunted her, his executioner. The spirit was powerless to do anything but torment her if she allowed it. Sometimes she had spoken to it, in her long solitude, swearing the Dunlending would not prevail over her. "You think this son is your final victory, don't you?" She muttered tonight. "You think he will be like you. Well, he won't. No, no, I've made sure of that."
The pain in her back grew worse, cresting like a wave breaking on rocks and then receding slowly into the sea. She clutched the thick bedpost for support; her cheek pressing into the carved leaves that adorned it. When her breath returned, she continued walking slowly, going over her plans in her mind.
She spoke aloud to the dim room. "Calmae and I will take him to Rohan. There I will see him adopted by a family of honorable Rohirrim on the border with Dunland." Her brother Eomeril had spoken of this family kindly in the tales of his travels.
"I will see that they raise him up to be a mighty warrior. This family lost two sons in the border wars and will gladly take another into their household. Your son will bear no love for Dunland. And one day, he will ride tall and free into battle, a Rider of the Mark. He will go to war against your people, Dunlending. May you know it and burn with the knowledge in the Void where you surely dwell!"
She stopped by the window, threw open the shutters and looked west at the stars shining above the trees of Lorien. She breathed deeply of the cold, clear air of the wood. Her momentary surge of rage had left her terribly tired. "When I know the child is safely with the family in Rohan, I will go to the Grey Havens," she vowed silently.
"Calmae thinks we can come back here to Lorien, like nothing has changed. Even if Lady Galadriel forgives me for going against whatever she has planned, I cannot come back. I have changed. Middle Earth grows dark to me. Perhaps, I will find peace in the Undying Lands of the West." But even as she had the thought she knew her heart would dwell ever in Rivendell, in the keeping of Elrohir.
Eloessa stood for a long while at the window, silent with an intense inward concentration on the tumultuous activities of her body. Suddenly, Calmae rushed into the room. "My lady, guards are coming to take you away!" she gasped, grabbing Eloessa's hands.
She noticed the stunned look on Eloessa's face and stuttered an explanation. "I delivered my weekly report earlier this evening. I told her you were nearing your time. When I was done, I was not allowed to return to you. I was told to wait for further instructions from the Lady. But none came and the hour grew late. I knew you would wonder where I was, for you were asleep when I left."
Calmae dropped Eloessa's hands and wrapped her arms about herself, shivering in the cool air. "I finally left the room where I had been told to wait. I came to the hall and heard the captain of the guard giving orders. He said Lady Galadriel had commanded that you and all your belongings be brought to her house this very night that nothing was to be left behind. I slipped out as soon as I could and came straight here."
Calmae sank into a chair near the bed. "My lady, I fear something has happened to make the Lady act sooner than we anticipated. You will perhaps be made prisoner and I will not be permitted to attend or help you!"
Eloessa, her mind racing to puzzle out what all this might mean, knew that Calmae's greatest fear was to be separated from her. So Calmae had grown increasingly suspicious of the motives of Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. Given this latest news, Eloessa wondered if her nurse's anxieties were coming true.
Eloessa put her arm around the shoulders of the older woman, for her nurse was visibly shaken and apparently had run all the way from Lady Galadriel's house. "Did the guards say anything else?" Eloessa asked.
Calmae nodded distractedly. "Yes, the captain mentioned that Lord Elrond's son Elrohir had arrived unexpectedly last night and today had been closeted long with his grandparents. The captain saw that Elrohir appeared very shaken after the interview, as if he had heard distressing news."
Calmae did not attach any importance to the appearance of Elrohir for Eloessa had never mentioned her feelings for him. In Eloessa's mind the attack and the pregnancy had doomed that love absolutely.
"My lady, we must make ready now for you to leave! The guards will be here very soon." Calmae jumped up from the chair and pulled out a set of travel bags from a chest. They had long been packed against such a day. She did not notice her mistress sink to the bed as if all the strength had fled from her limbs.
The mention of Elrohir, here in the Golden Wood, swamped Eloessa with a blind panic. She had accepted long ago she was no longer a fit bride for him. But for him to see her in this condition, swollen with the child of a rutting mortal soldier, would be more than she could bear. He must not see her, must never know the truth, no matter what happened! Calmae was right, though perhaps for the wrong reason. She had to leave now, this minute.
With a desperate energy, Eloessa helped Calmae make preparations for their departure. Their travel packs were light for they had known they might need to leave secretly and quickly when the time came. They just hadn't planned on it being before the baby was born. Eloessa shoved aside the monumental difficulties of trying to travel in her condition. Calmae, in her agitation, also seemed to disregard her mistress' advanced pregnancy.
Eloessa pulled out the elven rope ladder she had woven of hithlain weeks before. She had made such items in the past for Galadriel's favored guests. The ladder was soft as silk but was not slippery, providing a good grip for the climber. It was strong enough to hold the weight of several men at once. Yet it folded up smaller than seemed possible, making it valuable for long journeys. Eloessa secured the rope ladder to pegs she had previously affixed to the window that faced away from the more populated area of the city. The ladder slithered silently to the ground, shimmering slightly in the starlight. Moonrise would shortly be upon them.
Through the open window, both women heard the sound of men talking at the foot of the spiral stair that led to the talan. The guards had arrived! Eloessa told Calmae, "Go to the top of the stair. Say I am asleep or not feeling well. Tell them I am giving birth, anything, just delay them for as long as possible!"
Eloessa hurriedly put on her cloak and moved toward the window as she spoke. She slung her pack around her shoulders. "When you are able, meet me at the dock on the Anduin. I think they will expect us to leave on horseback to the south. But we will take a small boat as far as possible down the River and then shelter in one of the settlements of Men on the shore, when the baby comes. Then we can make our way to Rohan."
But Calmae did not move. Eloessa's ungainly shape getting ready to climb out a window and down a rope ladder thirty feet in the dark seemed to suddenly give the woman second thoughts. "My lady, perhaps we should not leave yet. I can sense now you are very close to your time. Surely it would be safer to stay and try to leave after the baby is born, like we planned." Calmae pleaded.
Eloessa paused, sitting on the windowsill, then said in a voice she had never used to Calmae. "Do as I say, woman! I will not stay here!"
Eloessa looked wildly at her servant. "Don't you understand? Elrohir has come. I love him as I have never loved another. If he sees me and knows the truth of my shame, it will be the death of me. I can feel it in my soul, Calmae." Eloessa spoke the last words with the absolute certainty of one pronouncing a doom. She swung both legs out the window.
"I dreamed of giving him a child before the attack. This child should have been his." Eloessa said softly and then disappeared with heart-stopping rapidity below the edge of the window.
Calmae ran over to see Eloessa move awkwardly but quickly down the rope ladder and land softly on the ground. Eloessa's words seemed to ring with a terrible significance in Calmae's mind, but events were rushing ahead so quickly, she could not make sense of it yet.
Male voices could be heard from the spiral stair. One cried out, "Mistress, come out. Lady Galadriel has sent an escort for Lady Eloessa. Come out at once!" Calmae turned and hurried to the entrance to the talan, vowing to give her beloved charge the time she needed to leave Lothlorien.
Eloessa walked about her room, trying to ease her aching back. She felt sore everywhere these days and found it difficult to get comfortable. Calmae would no doubt be willing to provide a comforting massage with ointment made from the yellow elanore flowers. But Eloessa was restless tonight and at long last had begun to tire of Calmae's constant care. She did not want any more of her nurse's hovering this day.
Though she had sought refuge from others in the beginning and agreed with Lady Galadriel's command for secrecy, she had become very lonely in the weeks since her brother left. Calmae was devoted to her but Eloessa was used to being busy and surrounded by others. She missed the warm friendship among the women who gathered in Galadriel's bower and workrooms to spin beautiful cloth, weave wondrous garments and create breathtaking tapestries.
She had many friends and in winter, especially, the women spent the precious daylight at their work singing, laughing and telling stories. They spoke of their hopes and dreams, their men and their families. Especially their men. Galadriel would sometimes put a stop to discussions that became too ribald. But on the days when the Lady was absent, the talk often would turn earthy, indeed. Eloessa thought the strongest warrior would swoon in shock if he knew how his womenfolk talked between themselves. She smiled now at the memory.
Eloessa stopped and ran her fingers over the tapestry that hung on her bedchamber wall. It was skillfully executed but Calmae called it "disturbing." It was a forest scene and depicted a doe being attacked from many directions by great hunting dogs with dripping fangs. They looked suspiciously like Wargs. Eloessa had requested and received from Lady Galadriel her own personal supplies and enough material to start a small new tapestry. Eloessa created it in a flurry of activity over several weeks of her confinement. She liked the savagery of it. It often fit her mood these days.
Lady Galadriel's visit to deliver the supplies had been many weeks ago, however, and Eloessa had seen no one but Calmae since. She was heartily tired of these four rooms. "I feel as if something must happen and soon. I cannot find rest anywhere!" She cried.
She started another circuit of the room, trying to be quiet for her maid usually slept in the adjoining chamber. It was not easy, what with wooden floors and being nearly the size of Vesta, her mare. She trod as lightly as possible and thought of the plan she and Calmae had made. Whatever Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn decided to do, Eloessa was determined to put her plan into action. She would take back control of her fate for the first time since she left Rivendell. But of course, nothing could happen until the child was born.
The child. It was not her child. She had reached an uneasy peace with the stranger that occupied her body and had taken over her entire existence. In her darkest moments early in the pregnancy, she had considered taking her own life to prevent the coming forth of a perilous threat into a troubled world. She now acknowledged that the babe was entitled to a chance at life and to prove it could be different from its sire.
She should say "he", at least, she supposed. She had sensed for several weeks that she would bear a son. Sometimes she wished it could have been a daughter, for then she might have felt some connection, some hope the babe would not harbor the evil inclinations of the father. But when she knew the child would be a boy, a potential bond withered away before it could form. Bearing a son seemed like a victory for the Dunlending. She suspected it would have pleased him in a twisted sort of way.
She still heard him laughing sometimes, in her dreams. His spirit haunted her, his executioner. The spirit was powerless to do anything but torment her if she allowed it. Sometimes she had spoken to it, in her long solitude, swearing the Dunlending would not prevail over her. "You think this son is your final victory, don't you?" She muttered tonight. "You think he will be like you. Well, he won't. No, no, I've made sure of that."
The pain in her back grew worse, cresting like a wave breaking on rocks and then receding slowly into the sea. She clutched the thick bedpost for support; her cheek pressing into the carved leaves that adorned it. When her breath returned, she continued walking slowly, going over her plans in her mind.
She spoke aloud to the dim room. "Calmae and I will take him to Rohan. There I will see him adopted by a family of honorable Rohirrim on the border with Dunland." Her brother Eomeril had spoken of this family kindly in the tales of his travels.
"I will see that they raise him up to be a mighty warrior. This family lost two sons in the border wars and will gladly take another into their household. Your son will bear no love for Dunland. And one day, he will ride tall and free into battle, a Rider of the Mark. He will go to war against your people, Dunlending. May you know it and burn with the knowledge in the Void where you surely dwell!"
She stopped by the window, threw open the shutters and looked west at the stars shining above the trees of Lorien. She breathed deeply of the cold, clear air of the wood. Her momentary surge of rage had left her terribly tired. "When I know the child is safely with the family in Rohan, I will go to the Grey Havens," she vowed silently.
"Calmae thinks we can come back here to Lorien, like nothing has changed. Even if Lady Galadriel forgives me for going against whatever she has planned, I cannot come back. I have changed. Middle Earth grows dark to me. Perhaps, I will find peace in the Undying Lands of the West." But even as she had the thought she knew her heart would dwell ever in Rivendell, in the keeping of Elrohir.
Eloessa stood for a long while at the window, silent with an intense inward concentration on the tumultuous activities of her body. Suddenly, Calmae rushed into the room. "My lady, guards are coming to take you away!" she gasped, grabbing Eloessa's hands.
She noticed the stunned look on Eloessa's face and stuttered an explanation. "I delivered my weekly report earlier this evening. I told her you were nearing your time. When I was done, I was not allowed to return to you. I was told to wait for further instructions from the Lady. But none came and the hour grew late. I knew you would wonder where I was, for you were asleep when I left."
Calmae dropped Eloessa's hands and wrapped her arms about herself, shivering in the cool air. "I finally left the room where I had been told to wait. I came to the hall and heard the captain of the guard giving orders. He said Lady Galadriel had commanded that you and all your belongings be brought to her house this very night that nothing was to be left behind. I slipped out as soon as I could and came straight here."
Calmae sank into a chair near the bed. "My lady, I fear something has happened to make the Lady act sooner than we anticipated. You will perhaps be made prisoner and I will not be permitted to attend or help you!"
Eloessa, her mind racing to puzzle out what all this might mean, knew that Calmae's greatest fear was to be separated from her. So Calmae had grown increasingly suspicious of the motives of Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. Given this latest news, Eloessa wondered if her nurse's anxieties were coming true.
Eloessa put her arm around the shoulders of the older woman, for her nurse was visibly shaken and apparently had run all the way from Lady Galadriel's house. "Did the guards say anything else?" Eloessa asked.
Calmae nodded distractedly. "Yes, the captain mentioned that Lord Elrond's son Elrohir had arrived unexpectedly last night and today had been closeted long with his grandparents. The captain saw that Elrohir appeared very shaken after the interview, as if he had heard distressing news."
Calmae did not attach any importance to the appearance of Elrohir for Eloessa had never mentioned her feelings for him. In Eloessa's mind the attack and the pregnancy had doomed that love absolutely.
"My lady, we must make ready now for you to leave! The guards will be here very soon." Calmae jumped up from the chair and pulled out a set of travel bags from a chest. They had long been packed against such a day. She did not notice her mistress sink to the bed as if all the strength had fled from her limbs.
The mention of Elrohir, here in the Golden Wood, swamped Eloessa with a blind panic. She had accepted long ago she was no longer a fit bride for him. But for him to see her in this condition, swollen with the child of a rutting mortal soldier, would be more than she could bear. He must not see her, must never know the truth, no matter what happened! Calmae was right, though perhaps for the wrong reason. She had to leave now, this minute.
With a desperate energy, Eloessa helped Calmae make preparations for their departure. Their travel packs were light for they had known they might need to leave secretly and quickly when the time came. They just hadn't planned on it being before the baby was born. Eloessa shoved aside the monumental difficulties of trying to travel in her condition. Calmae, in her agitation, also seemed to disregard her mistress' advanced pregnancy.
Eloessa pulled out the elven rope ladder she had woven of hithlain weeks before. She had made such items in the past for Galadriel's favored guests. The ladder was soft as silk but was not slippery, providing a good grip for the climber. It was strong enough to hold the weight of several men at once. Yet it folded up smaller than seemed possible, making it valuable for long journeys. Eloessa secured the rope ladder to pegs she had previously affixed to the window that faced away from the more populated area of the city. The ladder slithered silently to the ground, shimmering slightly in the starlight. Moonrise would shortly be upon them.
Through the open window, both women heard the sound of men talking at the foot of the spiral stair that led to the talan. The guards had arrived! Eloessa told Calmae, "Go to the top of the stair. Say I am asleep or not feeling well. Tell them I am giving birth, anything, just delay them for as long as possible!"
Eloessa hurriedly put on her cloak and moved toward the window as she spoke. She slung her pack around her shoulders. "When you are able, meet me at the dock on the Anduin. I think they will expect us to leave on horseback to the south. But we will take a small boat as far as possible down the River and then shelter in one of the settlements of Men on the shore, when the baby comes. Then we can make our way to Rohan."
But Calmae did not move. Eloessa's ungainly shape getting ready to climb out a window and down a rope ladder thirty feet in the dark seemed to suddenly give the woman second thoughts. "My lady, perhaps we should not leave yet. I can sense now you are very close to your time. Surely it would be safer to stay and try to leave after the baby is born, like we planned." Calmae pleaded.
Eloessa paused, sitting on the windowsill, then said in a voice she had never used to Calmae. "Do as I say, woman! I will not stay here!"
Eloessa looked wildly at her servant. "Don't you understand? Elrohir has come. I love him as I have never loved another. If he sees me and knows the truth of my shame, it will be the death of me. I can feel it in my soul, Calmae." Eloessa spoke the last words with the absolute certainty of one pronouncing a doom. She swung both legs out the window.
"I dreamed of giving him a child before the attack. This child should have been his." Eloessa said softly and then disappeared with heart-stopping rapidity below the edge of the window.
Calmae ran over to see Eloessa move awkwardly but quickly down the rope ladder and land softly on the ground. Eloessa's words seemed to ring with a terrible significance in Calmae's mind, but events were rushing ahead so quickly, she could not make sense of it yet.
Male voices could be heard from the spiral stair. One cried out, "Mistress, come out. Lady Galadriel has sent an escort for Lady Eloessa. Come out at once!" Calmae turned and hurried to the entrance to the talan, vowing to give her beloved charge the time she needed to leave Lothlorien.
