ENDINGS

PART ELEVEN

Eloessa ran blindly from Elrohir for several minutes. She expected him to catch up to her at any moment because she was absurdly easy to track, blundering through the forest like a panicked boar. But she did not hear any sounds of pursuit. She did not know whether to be grateful or not. She finally stopped to catch her breath. Thoughts immediately clamored for attention in her mind.

That kiss! It had been shocking.and wonderful. She had never felt that way before. Elrohir had seemed as passionate in his response as she. But he didn't love her, did he? Or had she actually heard him say that he loved her as she ran away? But his reaction had been everything she feared; he had been horrified and revolted at the sight of her. Her thoughts whirled in exhausted confusion.

In the end, it didn't really matter if he loved her or not. This child she carried guaranteed there was no future for them. Once Elrohir found out the details of her shame and how she had conceived in spite of being violently attacked, he would never have her as his wife. She would never let him be that noble, anyway.

She began to run again, only to be brought up short by a sharp pain in her back, like the one in her bedroom earlier. She dropped to her knees in the soft earth, unable to breathe as wave after wave of pain washed over her. She struggled to gain control over the pain and get to her feet, but to no avail.

Then she remembered Calmae's voice from their endless conversations in the winter evenings. "Don't try to be master of this process. I know you, my lady. That will be your first instinct and you will lose." Calmae's eyes twinkled but she had continued seriously. "Your body has a task to complete, will you, nil you. You cannot control this. And there will be pain. You must breathe through the pain and try to ride along on the crest of it. That way you will move with it yet not be overwhelmed by it."

Eloessa tried to calm down and follow that advice now. She let the sound of the wind through the leaves and all the quiet night sounds of the forest fill her up like an empty vessel. She drew strength from the soft soil of Lorien beneath her fingers. She breathed in and out evenly and she could feel her heartbeat in the silence. Gradually the vice of pain that twisted her lower back into a rock-hard knot released her. She was able to stand at last.

She knew now she would not be able to make it all the way to the docks on the Anduin on foot. She needed another way. She turned away from the river and started a slow but steady walk toward the stables. She would have to ride.

What should have taken only thirty minutes took her over an hour, because she had to stop again as another surge of pain took her, this time in the belly. She sank into the bushes to ride it out. By some unknown instinct, this time her breathing was quick and short, like a small hunted animal. The duration was shorter than last time, but more intense. She did not know it, but while she lay hidden, caught by her inner tumult, Lady Galadriel's guards passed by, having found nothing in the stables when they searched it. They now fanned out in ever increasing circles, looking for Eloessa.

Finally she made it to the stable. She could see a guard posted at the entrance. She recognized him as Orophin, Captain Haldir's lieutenant. He was alert and would not be easy to get around. She was frustrated, in pain and determined to get out of Lorien, away from Elrohir.

Vesta, her mare, was in the stable. Eloessa wished now she had asked that Vesta be put in the paddocks behind the stables for exercise. The paddocks were easily approached out of sight of the guard. But there were other horses in the paddocks tonight. She could see at least four of them faintly in the moonlight. She looked back at the guard. Yes, it might work.

She slowly circled around through the trees to the first paddock gate. She unlatched it, slipped through and picked up a saddle blanket draped over the fence. She suddenly started waving it at the horses peacefully standing in the pen. They shied away, whinnying loudly, and headed for the open gate. She ran after them a short distance, making sure they ran away from the stable. She peeked around the corner and saw Orophin look up, startled. "Oi! What is that? Come back!" He took off running after the horses.

Eloessa wasted no time. She slipped in the back entrance of the stable that faced the paddocks. She did not bother with saddle and bridle for the short journey to the docks. Vesta knew her ways and responded to hand and voice signals. She did have to stop at a mounting block, using time she couldn't afford to heave herself up on Vesta's back. Then she kicked her heels into Vesta's sides. "Run, love, run!" Her hands fisted in Vesta's mane, Eloessa flew out the open front stable doors and down the path to the River.

It was ten miles from the stable to the River docks on the main path. She decided to circle north on a little used trail to escape any attention. But it would take longer and dawn would soon be upon them. Eloessa hoped Calmae was there already. She wondered for a brief moment what it would be like to give birth in a boat, as another pain swelled within her. Vesta ran on through the dark.

Finally, Eloessa looked up and saw the great silver band of the River in the distance. She was almost there. There were lanterns lit on the docks. Calmae must be there, then. Though she took a great risk in having so many lights. She would attract attention they did not want or need. Suddenly Eloessa saw figures moving about the dock. None of them looked like Calmae. One of the figures gave a shout. Eloessa had been spotted!

Eloessa shifted her weight and shouted encouragement to Vesta. The horse changed direction to run parallel with the bank. Guards began to run toward her, taking up the cry. "There she is! Stop her!" Eloessa wondered wildly when she had become so very dangerous.

Eloessa took her horse into the forest, away from the path and along the bank of the river. The ground was full of bushes and fallen limbs. Eloessa saw ahead a downed tree that lay in their way. She made a decision and set Vesta at the barrier. The mare gathered her muscles to jump. Suddenly a soldier burst out of the undergrowth right in front of the horse as she left the ground. Vesta, well trained, struggled valiantly to miss the man. She twisted in mid-air. Eloessa, her center of gravity completely different than the last time she had tried a jump, slipped sideways off the mare's back. Vesta tried now to compensate and keep her rider on.

But Vesta landed wrong and fell, rolling over on her side, trapping her beloved mistress underneath. Oblivion rushed up to meet Eloessa and she embraced it gladly.

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Elrohir had searched the forest all the way to the docks. Glorfindel, Erestor and Onoril had fanned out and methodically searched beside him, so that they would not miss where Eloessa had gone.

Elrohir's mind whirled with unanswered and unanswerable questions. Eloessa was pregnant, that was clear enough. But how, or rather, why? And, most importantly, who was the man Eloessa had conceived a child with? Did she love him?

He struggled with the larger issues provoked by the mystery surrounding what happened in the mountains. Why the terrible conspiracy of silence? How did this all relate to the threat Lord Elrond had sensed?

He reached the dock first and scouted the area thoroughly. She was not here. What had Lady Galadriel meant when she said the dock was "where they were to meet"? Who was Eloessa supposed to meet?

He thought back to the kiss they had shared. She seemed to enjoy it. He had thought she was showing her love but how was he to know? Perhaps she was always that passionate when she kissed a man.

But then he shook his head as he paced along the dark waters of the Anduin. The woman who had confessed her love in the face of his rejection had truly loved him. He touched her token next to his heart. And he had thrown it away. Perhaps he had no right to complain that she sought solace elsewhere.

She must have started another relationship very quickly, he thought, thinking of Eloessa's round shape. He did not know a great deal about pregnancy but her size seemed to indicate the event was imminent. She should not be alone in the woods in her condition. Even in Lorien, she could get in trouble and be far from help.

Elrohir called to Glorfindel to bring the men and join him. "Wait here on the dock and watch for Lady Eloessa. Erestor and Onoril will search north along the bank. I will go south." He turned back to his father's friend. "She is precious to me. Call out if you see her but do not frighten or touch her."

Elrohir realized as he said it that she was precious to him. He still loved her. He did not know what choices she had made or what she was running from. But if she would still have him, he would honor and love her through all the ages of Middle Earth. If she truly loved another, and Elrohir was sure she was safe, he would respect whatever decision she made.

He walked along the bank but saw no sign of Eloessa or anyone else. He had gone some distance when he heard distant sounds in the direction of the docks. He headed back at a trot. As he approached, he saw the Lorien guards had arrived, some on horseback. Among them were the guards of Haldir's unit. He recognized Haldir's second in command. Orophin, he thought the name was. He was talking heatedly to Glorfindel. The soldier's words carried over the water while Elrohir was still some distance away, faint but discernible.

"She started a diversion by setting some of the horses loose. I chased them at first, but then I saw her riding in this direction. I caught a mount and came straight here. I did not meet her on the road so she must have circled to the north to avoid pursuit. If she was coming to the dock she should be here any time." Orophin reported, peering into the darkness.

He gestured to one of his guards. "Rendil, take some men and spread out both ways along the banks. Be ready for her when she comes. She'll be mounted. Try to cut her off and drive her back this way." The men set out immediately to follow the lieutenant's orders before Elrohir could get close enough to stop them.

At last, Elrohir ran up, lunged at Orophin and grabbed him by the throat. "She is a pregnant woman in trouble, you fool! Not a criminal to be tracked and captured. Try to cut her off while she is mounted and she may fall and injure herself! How will you explain that to Lady Galadriel?" Elrohir threw the soldier to the ground. His eyes were wide with astonishment.

"Get out there and call off your men to the north. She'll see them from miles away with all these lanterns and never come near the place." Elrohir turned to Glorfindel. "Take Erestor and Onoril. Round up those guards to the south and get them out of sight and away from Eloessa."

Glorfindel and Orophin hurried off to carry out their instructions. Once they left, the night grew quiet. Only the constant muted roar of the Anduin broke the silence. Elrohir tensely waited. Suddenly a cry went up from one of the men to the north. Eloessa was coming!

But Orophin either had not gotten the new order to his men, or they hadn't understood it. Several men set off in pursuit of the figure on the grey horse Elrohir recognized as Eloessa. Elrohir started to run, too. He saw Eloessa skillfully change direction to ride parallel to the bank and elude the chase. He admired her horsemanship but knew this would take her over rough ground. He ran faster.

Elrohir was shouting at the men and Eloessa both to stop. He could hear Orophin ordering his men to stop now, too. But the soldiers were like dogs on the scent and in their shouts of encouragement to each other, they did not hear the order to halt.

Elrohir now reached the underbrush into which the chase had led. He plunged into it and ran as fast as he could, leaping fallen branches, ducking thorny vines. The foliage was thick and for a moment he lost sight of Eloessa and the men. He heard a soldier cry out "Stop!" and then a woman's scream.

Elrohir's heart thudded once, twice, heavily in his chest and he stopped running, without meaning to, as if by doing so he could prevent whatever had just happened from becoming real. Then, moving again, he entered a clearing to see Vesta struggle to her feet, riderless. On the ground, lay Eloessa, unmoving.

Elrohir did not remember getting from where he was standing over to Eloessa's side, but suddenly he was looking down at her too-pale face. He listened for several terrifying seconds before he heard her breathing. He had to slow his own racing heart to hear it.

When he did, he was dismayed. For it was moist, uneven breathing. After a lifetime spent in battle, he knew this likely meant she was bleeding inside, perhaps into her lungs. He wiped a little blood from her mouth and knew she needed help immediately. "Eloessa, my love. Hold on. The Lady will heal you. Just stay with me." He pleaded.

He looked up to see Glorfindel had arrived, holding the reins of a mount, as if his companion had known he was needed. "Ride to Lady Galadriel like you have never ridden before, my friend. Bring her back, and a litter to bear Eloessa to a place of healing. She is too hurt to be moved otherwise."

Glorfindel noted the extreme pallor and shallow breathing of the beautiful woman in his friend's arms, but said only, "I will bring her straight away. Do not give up hope. Lady Eloessa is strong and valiant in spirit." With that he sprang to his mount and galloped out of the clearing. A gray morning fog drifted across the River Anduin and settled over the forest, cloaking the rider from view.

Elrohir turned back to Eloessa and tried to make her a little more comfortable by straightening her twisted limbs. As he did so, he noticed deep ripples of movement across her swollen belly. The baby! He had forgotten about it for a moment. The fall had probably brought on her birthing pains. Glorfindel's errand was doubly urgent, then.

Onoril approached bearing thick dry blankets for Eloessa. "Here, my lord. The dawn is chilly and the lady needs to be warm until help arrives." He offered the coverings as some apology for his hasty arrow earlier in the evening.

Elrohir acknowledged the contribution and the apology with a nod. "Thank you Onoril. Would you make a fire now? I don't want to move Lady Eloessa any more than I have to." Onoril nodded and quickly made up the fire, seeming relieved at being able to do something useful.

Erestor came and made a soft pallet of the blankets for Eloessa by the fire. He then helped Elrohir carefully move her to it. Eloessa moaned but did not regain consciousness. Elrohir froze in anguish over her pain. "I would do anything to take this hurt upon myself, anything." Elrohir touched his lips to the soft golden hair, and lovingly smoothed the tangled strands away from her face.

Onoril went to stand with the other soldiers near the path to peer anxiously into the mist for the return of Glorfindel and Lady Galadriel. No one spoke. All the ordinary early morning sounds seemed suffocated in the fog as they waited.

Elrohir felt as though he was in a nightmare from which he could not wake. Eloessa's breathing became fainter. He wished he had his father's gift of healing. He cursed the fate that forced him to do nothing but wait endlessly for help that seemed to never come. He heard a sound and looked up eagerly, but it was only Erestor. He had something in his hands.

"I know that your father uses this often in his medicines," the stern- visaged Elf said. "I am no herb master, but I think this is athelas. Do you recognize it?" He held out a few stems and green leaves.

Elrohir smiled and said gratefully, "Yes, it is athelas. I do not know how to apply it in the way that will be most useful to Eloessa, for her injuries are internal. But get a pot from one of the soldier's packs and boil water to put the plants in. That may help a little."

Elrohir put his hand on the arm of the older Elf. "Thank you, my dear friend." He said. "My father is fortunate to have you as a counselor."

Erestor prepared the athelas as instructed. The clean, crisp scent of the mixture drifted across the clearing, acting as a balm to the souls of all those gathered to watch over Lady Eloessa. Eloessa also seemed to rest a little easier. But she continued to whimper and moan every few minutes, without ever waking.

"The child is coming," Elrohir said to the other Elf. "But she has other injuries, besides. Will she be strong enough to deliver the babe?"

Erestor shook his head and gripped Elrohir's shoulder to lend some comfort. "I do not know. Talk to her and reassure her. Surely your love will give her strength."

There was no sound in the clearing except the soft loving murmurs of Elrohir to the woman in his arms. The morning sun rose higher, chasing away the dawn's misty grayness. The air warmed and the sky was a pale winter blue, clear and cloudless. Winter birds sang in the branches of the trees, foretelling the return of their summer brothers and the coming of spring.

"Listen, love." Elrohir whispered. "Hear the birds? Soon it will be spring in Lothlorien. We will sit in the woods and watch the world recreate itself around us. You will hold the baby and I will hold you. Nothing will harm either of you while you are in my arms, sweeting, I promise. I promise." Elrohir laid his lips gently on Eloessa's forehead and wept.