[COMMERCIAL BUMPER: Blue tinted slow motion replay of JANE pulling TRENT out of her closet]
[START ACT 1: SCENE 3]
[SCENE: Trent's room. Cloths lie strewned across the floor. TRENT has a blue and green guitar
and is about to swing it against the floor again - several strings have already come out though
that seems to be the only damage. DARIA has just opened the door]
Daria: [alarmed] *Trent*! What are you doing?
Trent [looking up and staring at DARIA in surprise]: Oh. Hey Daria.
Daria: [V/O: "How can he say that as if everything is normal. He's breaking his *guitar*!"]
Don't do it.
Trent: Do what?
Daria: Break your guitar.
[TRENT looks at the guitar as if he's just realised what he's doing and puts it down shakily onto
the bed]
Trent: Might as well. Not going to use it anyway. [He sat down onto the bed, the guitar bounces
slightly, letting out a pained 'schtz' before several more strings break. DARIA winces] Damn.
[he falls back, narrowly missing the guitar] I'm drunk.
Daria [deadpan]: You don't say.
Trent [coughs/laughs bitterly]: Good one. [beat. Depressed and meloncholy] What am I going to
do Daria?
Daria [sighs]: [sits down on the bed beside TRENT, looking forward, a light flush on her face]
What do you want me to say Trent? [beat] I've known you for two years now - and every now and
then, we have these conversations. And I say the same thing and you agree - and several months
later we have the same conversation again. I don't think it's helping.
Trent: [not really listening] You seem to see so clearly. I - [shrugs] can't really see at the
moment.
Daria: That's because you're drunk.
Trent: Yeah. [beat] What do I do with my life? I'm twenty two years old, living in my parent's
house. I don't have a job. God - I bet the only one I could get with my luck is on the highway
at a tollbooth or something. [beat. Shudders] Nightmare lane.
[DARIA nearly smiles before she realises that TRENT wasn't joking. TRENT isn't really listening
to her]
Trent (continued): And the band's broken up because of me. [beat] I can't stay in this room all
my life - I've got to do *something* - other than sleep and eat I mean.
Daria: Are you sure the band broke up because of you - or because of the usual anger and
frustration loop?
Trent: It was because of me. Or maybe everything. I've got to face it - I mean. . . [pause]
Mystic Spiral isn't going anywhere - we play at low-end dives, we get penny-ant for cash. Half
of our practise sessions are no-shows - and I don't really care. [he closed his eyes as DARIA
turned to look at him worriedly] I use to but - [shrugs] I don't anymore. I just - don't care
any more.
Daria: About the band?
Trent [edge of desperation in voice]: About - anything. Music, the band. Playing. I just -
can't even be bothered waking up half the time. It's like being dead. And then all I want to do
is sleep. [beat] That might make some good lyrics actually.
Daria: [V/O: "No it wouldn't."] Um - maybe.
Trent: You're lying. [beat] God. I'm going to end up some dead-beat toll-collector on the high
way.
Daria: Y -
Trent [continuing, not hearing DARIA, talking in an undertone with a slur in his voice. He's
obviously drunk]: They were right - worthless. . . No way I can make it - at anything. . .
[trails off into silence]
Daria: [V/O: "What can I say? I don't know anything about musicians and how they gain their
inspiration. And I don't know why Trent isn't feeling emotional over his music. Do musicians
need to feel inspired to play? Do they need motivation and love to succeed at what they do best?
Maybe it's because he's sick of music - maybe because. . . I don't know anything about this."]
Trent - [pause, looks up and realises that TRENT has sat up while she was thinking]
[TRENT is staring at her, he's close since DARIA had been sitting next to his legs when he had
fallen on the bed. His nose is almost touching hers]
Daria: Trent?
Trent: [sophoric grin] Hey Daria. You're really pretty you know. [reaches up and takes off her
glasses] And your eyes are really - [pause] pretty.
Daria: [V/O: "Guess who's getting a thesaurus for his next birth - what the hell am I thinking?
Did he just - he did! Say something! Anything!"] Ah. . .
Trent: Too bad you're only like sixteen. . . [trails off, still staring at her]
Daria: I'm eighteen this year. [V/O: "What do you think you're doing Daria Morgendoffer?"]
Trent [grin widens]: Well then that's all right. [kisses her]
Daria: [V/O: "Oh. That's all right then."]
[The door to TRENT's room is open and JANE is standing there, mouth open. After several seconds,
she closes the door - TRENT and DARIA don't notice - and walks away]
[SCENE SWITCH: The hallway. JANE is leaning against the wall]
Jane: [V/O: "Oooookay."] Well, at least he's got something to keep him occupied. [beat] What the
hell am I saying? Damn! That's Daria in there! [V/O: "I'm almost sure she's had a crush-obsession
on him for the last two years. . . Or at least she's never really tried to kill me for pulling
the yenta act on her and Trent. And this is the last year of high school - every girl deserves
to have something unusual and strange happen to her. Dating Trent counts on BOTH sides for
that." [beat] "If he hurts her - if she hurts him. . ."] Damn. This is going to be *strange*.
[JANE walks slowly back to her room and closes the door]
[END ACT 1: SCENE 2]
[START ACT 1: SCENE 3]
[SCENE: Trent's room. Cloths lie strewned across the floor. TRENT has a blue and green guitar
and is about to swing it against the floor again - several strings have already come out though
that seems to be the only damage. DARIA has just opened the door]
Daria: [alarmed] *Trent*! What are you doing?
Trent [looking up and staring at DARIA in surprise]: Oh. Hey Daria.
Daria: [V/O: "How can he say that as if everything is normal. He's breaking his *guitar*!"]
Don't do it.
Trent: Do what?
Daria: Break your guitar.
[TRENT looks at the guitar as if he's just realised what he's doing and puts it down shakily onto
the bed]
Trent: Might as well. Not going to use it anyway. [He sat down onto the bed, the guitar bounces
slightly, letting out a pained 'schtz' before several more strings break. DARIA winces] Damn.
[he falls back, narrowly missing the guitar] I'm drunk.
Daria [deadpan]: You don't say.
Trent [coughs/laughs bitterly]: Good one. [beat. Depressed and meloncholy] What am I going to
do Daria?
Daria [sighs]: [sits down on the bed beside TRENT, looking forward, a light flush on her face]
What do you want me to say Trent? [beat] I've known you for two years now - and every now and
then, we have these conversations. And I say the same thing and you agree - and several months
later we have the same conversation again. I don't think it's helping.
Trent: [not really listening] You seem to see so clearly. I - [shrugs] can't really see at the
moment.
Daria: That's because you're drunk.
Trent: Yeah. [beat] What do I do with my life? I'm twenty two years old, living in my parent's
house. I don't have a job. God - I bet the only one I could get with my luck is on the highway
at a tollbooth or something. [beat. Shudders] Nightmare lane.
[DARIA nearly smiles before she realises that TRENT wasn't joking. TRENT isn't really listening
to her]
Trent (continued): And the band's broken up because of me. [beat] I can't stay in this room all
my life - I've got to do *something* - other than sleep and eat I mean.
Daria: Are you sure the band broke up because of you - or because of the usual anger and
frustration loop?
Trent: It was because of me. Or maybe everything. I've got to face it - I mean. . . [pause]
Mystic Spiral isn't going anywhere - we play at low-end dives, we get penny-ant for cash. Half
of our practise sessions are no-shows - and I don't really care. [he closed his eyes as DARIA
turned to look at him worriedly] I use to but - [shrugs] I don't anymore. I just - don't care
any more.
Daria: About the band?
Trent [edge of desperation in voice]: About - anything. Music, the band. Playing. I just -
can't even be bothered waking up half the time. It's like being dead. And then all I want to do
is sleep. [beat] That might make some good lyrics actually.
Daria: [V/O: "No it wouldn't."] Um - maybe.
Trent: You're lying. [beat] God. I'm going to end up some dead-beat toll-collector on the high
way.
Daria: Y -
Trent [continuing, not hearing DARIA, talking in an undertone with a slur in his voice. He's
obviously drunk]: They were right - worthless. . . No way I can make it - at anything. . .
[trails off into silence]
Daria: [V/O: "What can I say? I don't know anything about musicians and how they gain their
inspiration. And I don't know why Trent isn't feeling emotional over his music. Do musicians
need to feel inspired to play? Do they need motivation and love to succeed at what they do best?
Maybe it's because he's sick of music - maybe because. . . I don't know anything about this."]
Trent - [pause, looks up and realises that TRENT has sat up while she was thinking]
[TRENT is staring at her, he's close since DARIA had been sitting next to his legs when he had
fallen on the bed. His nose is almost touching hers]
Daria: Trent?
Trent: [sophoric grin] Hey Daria. You're really pretty you know. [reaches up and takes off her
glasses] And your eyes are really - [pause] pretty.
Daria: [V/O: "Guess who's getting a thesaurus for his next birth - what the hell am I thinking?
Did he just - he did! Say something! Anything!"] Ah. . .
Trent: Too bad you're only like sixteen. . . [trails off, still staring at her]
Daria: I'm eighteen this year. [V/O: "What do you think you're doing Daria Morgendoffer?"]
Trent [grin widens]: Well then that's all right. [kisses her]
Daria: [V/O: "Oh. That's all right then."]
[The door to TRENT's room is open and JANE is standing there, mouth open. After several seconds,
she closes the door - TRENT and DARIA don't notice - and walks away]
[SCENE SWITCH: The hallway. JANE is leaning against the wall]
Jane: [V/O: "Oooookay."] Well, at least he's got something to keep him occupied. [beat] What the
hell am I saying? Damn! That's Daria in there! [V/O: "I'm almost sure she's had a crush-obsession
on him for the last two years. . . Or at least she's never really tried to kill me for pulling
the yenta act on her and Trent. And this is the last year of high school - every girl deserves
to have something unusual and strange happen to her. Dating Trent counts on BOTH sides for
that." [beat] "If he hurts her - if she hurts him. . ."] Damn. This is going to be *strange*.
[JANE walks slowly back to her room and closes the door]
[END ACT 1: SCENE 2]
