[ACT 1: SCENE 3]

[START SCENE 3]

[SCENE: Music Room. The end of the day. Several students are packing up the guitars and amps, others are setting up more mikes and moving the tables from the horse shoe circle around the centre of the room and stacking them up against the walls.]

[DARIA (TRENT in DARIA's body) is picking up her bag slowly. She is slouched in a Trent-esque pose, her movements are slow, almost languid. In TRENT it seemed half asleep. In DARIA it gives her motions a gracefulness reminiscent of a ballet dancer. Behind her CHARLES RUTHEMEIR (known as UPCHUCK) slowly slots the feed for the mike into a nearby amp and straightens, a strange expression in his eyes. He suddenly walks over to DARIA. A girl carrying a clipboard and wearing wireless headphones is behind UPCHUCK. She is slowly making her way around the room, testing the sound readings for each of the microphones set up.]

Upchuck: [pitching his voice low] Rrrr. I love a woman who can sing.

[DARIA jumps slightly and turns, straightening, one hand on her bag]

Daria: [one eyebrow lifted] Uh - huh. [beat] That's your - um. Prerogative man. [turns to go]

Upchuck [looking surprised]: Um. [obviously at a loss for what to say] We sang really well together. [beat] I mean - [voice lowers again] Want to go back to my pad? [growls] I'll show you my [suggestive lift in voice] lyrics.


Daria: [both eyebrows up] That's pathetic man. [beat] I mean - nobody uses those lines any more. Where do you get them from? Watching movies from the eighties or something?


Upchuck [surprised] Wh-what? [A flush creeps up his face - this clashes something dreadful with his hair colour]

Daria: [laughs] I mean - the last time I saw somebody use that line must have been back when I was in - [pauses, eyes widens slightly. It's obvious that TRENT has realised whose body he's in. DARIA coughs] You don't really think you're going to score with lines like that are you?

Upchuck [face red]: . . . [swallows] I've scored plenty of times before! [voice squeaks on last word]

Daria [lifting one eyebrow]: [dry] Whatever. [turns to leave]

[UPCHUCK looks relieved - obvious that he's never had such a long conversation with a woman he's trying to pick up]

[CAMERA PANS TO: Girl performing sound checks. She flips the switch of the microphone UPCHUCK was plugging in and winces. The feedback squeal is audible through the headphones]

Girl: [angrily as she rips off headphones] CHARLES!

Upchuck: Eeep! [turns hastily]

[DARIA watches this and smiles briefly before hoisting her bag over one shoulder and turning to leave.]

[CAMERA PANS TO: MR. JACOB (Music Teacher) and JODIE talking. MR. JACOB nods briefly and walks off screen]

[CAMERA PANS TO: DARIA looking up to find MR. JACOB standing in front of her]

Daria: Mr. Jacob?

Jacob: Daria - have you ever considered joining band?

Daria [wincing]: I don't play band instruments. Don't ask me why - I just don't. [grimaces]

Jacob [looks briefly surprised before continuing]: No. I mean performing band. Lawndale High is working with the Lawndale Drama Troup during Easter Break. The performing band will be providing the music as well as some of the singing. [winces] They haven't found a lead female singer as yet. [CAMERA PANS TO: UPCHUCK and the girl with the headphones - UPCHUCK is cringing as the girl hits him with her clipboard, shouting at him] We do have a backup but I'd rather not - use that alternative.

Daria [Mona Lisa smile, eyebrow half raised]: Wanna-be boy's voice hasn't broken yet?

Jacob: [laughs in surprise before straightening his face] You have the right range. And you obviously can sing. [beat; thoughtful tone] We'd have to work a bit with the expression coming through in your singing but - other than that I think you'd be perfect. [beat] Are you interested?

Daria: [mild interest] Su - [pause; obvious TRENT has realised once more that he's in DARIA's body. In a more guarded tone] Can I think about it?

Jacob [looking disappointed]: Sure. Why don't you tell me tomorrow during our next class?

Daria: Yeah. [walks out]

[JACOB turns back to JODIE]

Jacob: She's thinking about it. [sighs] We might have to use Charles. God help us. [in background, sounds of UPCHUCK being told off by girl]

Jodie [looking surprised]: Daria actually said she'd THINK about it? [shocked] I don't think [beat] She's been acting strange all day. . . [beat] Huh. Think about it. . . [wanders off]

Jacob: [V/O: "I think I understand why O'Neil has to take so many personal-health holidays. .
."]

[SCENE SWITCH TO: Outside Lawndale High]

[SCENE: Students slowly leaving, this is the last of the last group to leave the school.  DARIA is just leaving, bag over shoulder.  Behind her, JODIE is standing on the steps of the school, watching her, frowning.  JANE enters stage right, obviously having run all the way.]

Jane:  Tre - [cut off] Daria!

[DARIA continues walking.]

[CAMERA SWITCH: DARIA walking, JANE appearing, falling into step]

Jane: [hushed voice] Trent.

[DARIA jerks - blinks, looks sleepy as she stares at JANE]

Jane: We've got a problem.  [beat] A Spiral problem.  [off DARIA's blank look] Nic's called a rehearsal.  [DARIA still looks uncharacteristically blank] Trent will have to sing. 

Daria: Cool.  [beat] Don't worry Janey - rehearsals don't go for more than a couple of hours.  The noise won't be that bad - you can hang at Daria's house till it's - [beat] over.  [pause]  [eyes widen]

[CAMERA ZOOM IN TO: DARIA's eyes widening]

Jane: Uh huh.  You're sleeping over tonight, *Daria*.  We have to teach *Trent* how to sing Spiral lyrics - or you two are going to be on Sick Sad World by tomorrow night.

[COMMERCIAL BUMPER: TRENT's face; JANE running; DARIA's blank look]

[END ACT 1: SCENE 3]

[END ACT 1]