[ACT 1: SCENE 3]
[START SCENE 3]
[SCENE: Music Room. The end of the day. Several students
are packing up the guitars and amps, others are setting up more mikes and
moving the tables from the horse shoe circle around the centre of the room and
stacking them up against the walls.]
[DARIA (TRENT in DARIA's body) is picking up her bag slowly. She is slouched in
a Trent-esque pose, her movements are slow, almost languid. In TRENT it seemed
half asleep. In DARIA it gives her motions a gracefulness reminiscent of a
ballet dancer. Behind her CHARLES RUTHEMEIR (known as UPCHUCK) slowly slots the
feed for the mike into a nearby amp and straightens, a strange expression in
his eyes. He suddenly walks over to DARIA. A girl carrying a clipboard and
wearing wireless headphones is behind UPCHUCK. She is slowly making her way
around the room, testing the sound readings for each of the microphones set
up.]
Upchuck: [pitching his voice low] Rrrr. I love a woman who can sing.
[DARIA jumps slightly and turns, straightening, one hand on her bag]
Daria: [one eyebrow lifted] Uh - huh. [beat] That's your - um. Prerogative man.
[turns to go]
Upchuck [looking surprised]: Um. [obviously at a loss for what to say] We sang
really well together. [beat] I mean - [voice lowers again] Want to go back to
my pad? [growls] I'll show you my [suggestive lift in voice] lyrics.
Daria: [both eyebrows up] That's pathetic man. [beat] I mean - nobody uses
those lines any more. Where do you get them from? Watching movies from the
eighties or something?
Upchuck [surprised] Wh-what? [A flush creeps up his face - this clashes
something dreadful with his hair colour]
Daria: [laughs] I mean - the last time I saw somebody use that line must have
been back when I was in - [pauses, eyes widens slightly. It's obvious that
TRENT has realised whose body he's in. DARIA coughs] You don't really think
you're going to score with lines like that are you?
Upchuck [face red]: . . . [swallows] I've scored plenty of times before! [voice
squeaks on last word]
Daria [lifting one eyebrow]: [dry] Whatever. [turns to leave]
[UPCHUCK looks relieved - obvious that he's never had such a long conversation
with a woman he's trying to pick up]
[CAMERA PANS TO: Girl performing sound checks. She flips the switch of the
microphone UPCHUCK was plugging in and winces. The feedback squeal is audible
through the headphones]
Girl: [angrily as she rips off headphones] CHARLES!
Upchuck: Eeep! [turns hastily]
[DARIA watches this and smiles briefly before hoisting her bag over one
shoulder and turning to leave.]
[CAMERA PANS TO: MR. JACOB (Music Teacher) and JODIE talking. MR. JACOB nods
briefly and walks off screen]
[CAMERA PANS TO: DARIA looking up to find MR. JACOB standing in front of her]
Daria: Mr. Jacob?
Jacob: Daria - have you ever considered joining band?
Daria [wincing]: I don't play band instruments. Don't ask me why - I just
don't. [grimaces]
Jacob [looks briefly surprised before continuing]: No. I mean performing band.
Lawndale High is working with the Lawndale Drama Troup during Easter Break. The
performing band will be providing the music as well as some of the singing.
[winces] They haven't found a lead female singer as yet. [CAMERA PANS TO:
UPCHUCK and the girl with the headphones - UPCHUCK is cringing as the girl hits
him with her clipboard, shouting at him] We do have a backup but I'd rather not
- use that alternative.
Daria [Mona Lisa smile, eyebrow half raised]: Wanna-be boy's voice hasn't
broken yet?
Jacob: [laughs in surprise before straightening his face] You have the right
range. And you obviously can sing. [beat; thoughtful tone] We'd have to work a
bit with the expression coming through in your singing but - other than that I
think you'd be perfect. [beat] Are you interested?
Daria: [mild interest] Su - [pause; obvious TRENT has realised once more that
he's in DARIA's body. In a more guarded tone] Can I think about it?
Jacob [looking disappointed]: Sure. Why don't you tell me tomorrow during our
next class?
Daria: Yeah. [walks out]
[JACOB turns back to JODIE]
Jacob: She's thinking about it. [sighs] We might have to use Charles. God help
us. [in background, sounds of UPCHUCK being told off by girl]
Jodie [looking surprised]: Daria actually said she'd THINK about it? [shocked]
I don't think [beat] She's been acting strange all day. . . [beat] Huh. Think
about it. . . [wanders off]
Jacob: [V/O: "I think I understand why O'Neil has to take so many
personal-health holidays. .
."]
[SCENE SWITCH TO: Outside
Lawndale High]
[SCENE: Students slowly leaving, this is the last of the last group to leave the school. DARIA is just leaving, bag over shoulder. Behind her, JODIE is standing on the steps of the school, watching her, frowning. JANE enters stage right, obviously having run all the way.]
Jane: Tre - [cut off] Daria!
[DARIA continues walking.]
[CAMERA SWITCH: DARIA walking, JANE appearing, falling into step]
Jane: [hushed voice] Trent.
[DARIA jerks - blinks, looks sleepy as she stares at JANE]
Jane: We've got a problem. [beat] A Spiral problem. [off DARIA's blank look] Nic's called a rehearsal. [DARIA still looks uncharacteristically blank] Trent will have to sing.
Daria: Cool. [beat] Don't worry Janey - rehearsals don't go for more than a couple of hours. The noise won't be that bad - you can hang at Daria's house till it's - [beat] over. [pause] [eyes widen]
[CAMERA ZOOM IN TO: DARIA's eyes widening]
Jane: Uh huh. You're sleeping over tonight, *Daria*. We have to teach *Trent* how to sing Spiral lyrics - or you two are going to be on Sick Sad World by tomorrow night.
[COMMERCIAL BUMPER: TRENT's face; JANE running; DARIA's blank look]
[END ACT 1: SCENE 3]
[END ACT 1]
