Invading the Fellowship
Part Twenty-Seven
"So what did you want to show me?" Sami asked.
"It's in here, love." Orli scanned the card key and opened the door.
"It's dark in here." Sami stepped inside. "…And where is everybody?"
"You'll see them soon, love." Orli flipped up the light switch.
"SURPRISE!!" Everyone jumped up, except Legolas.
"Hey…where's Legolas?" Ewan looked around.
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Sami! Happy birthday to youuuuuuu!" Legolas popped up out of the cake.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Oliver and Ewan were on the floor, rolling with laughter.
"That's gotta be embarrassing…" Joey grinned.
"Er…XD…thanks, Legolas…" Sami sweatdropleted. "…I think…"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Renee, Merry, and Pippin surrounded her and smothered her in hugs.
"^^ I feel so loved!" Sami grinned. "Thanks you guys!!"
"You're welcome!" everyone chorused.
"I feel pretty, I feel pretty…" Legolas burst out while climbing out of the cake.
"X.X Legolas, GO PUT CLOTHES ON!" Link yelled.
Legolas pouted. "But I'm so pretty!" he protested, standing up.
"AHHHHH!" everyone screamed.
Dew attacked the cake.
"DEW!" Ivan yelled.
"Do you know what was in there?!" Renee shrieked. "EW!"
Dew looked up at Renee, then at the cake. She looked back up at Renee, then the cake.
"I'm gonna be SICK!" the little blue Djinni exclaimed. "Gimme some bacon!"
"Um…'kay!" Katie rummaged around in Megan's plothole before pulling out a package of bacon. "Here."
"…It's cold! I'm gonna die in a minute!" Dew spat.
"/ Ungrateful water djinni," Katie grumbled. "Hey Link!"
"What?" Link looked up at her from lying on the couch. Immediately, the bacon somehow fried itself. "¬.¬ Oh, for the love of Naryu…"
"XD Thanks!" Katie chucked the bacon at Dew. "Where's Ivan?"
"He said he was going to church. Something about yelling at people." Jew threw a bedsheet on Legolas. Everyone quit fleeing in terror and came back in.
"¯o¯ Oh. 'Kay then." Katie kicked the cake out in the hall.
"T.T Why did Legolas have to ruin the cake?" Merry and Pippin cried into Renee's shoulders.
"^^; Don't worry, we'll get a new cake later."
"oOo! Presents!" Sami squealed, hopping around the overly stacked pile. "Can I open them, Aragorn? PLEASE?"
"Oh, all right." Aragorn handed her the first present. "This one's from Gandalf."
"oOo!" Sami ripped it open eagerly. "Wha?!?" She held up the Honeybee Inn outfit.
"XD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ewan and Oliver laughed for about the bazillionth time in this story.
"x.x Um…"
"I thought it'd look cute on you," Gandalf wheezed.
"o Pervert!" Sami kicked him across the room.
"Yay!" Random people cheered.
"Here, Legolas." Sami handed the Elf the outfit. "You'd probably get more use out of this."
"This is from the hobbits." Aragorn shoved a big box over to Sami.
"Yay!" Sami tore the paper to shreds. "Er…what is it?" She blinked.
"Who knows? We bought it off Ebay from some Harry Potter guy."
"XD Must be good for something…" Sami went through the rest of her gifts. She received a Gimli-Bat from Katie (They're a bit heavier than Sam-Bats. They also have spikes.), a spell book from Megan, some CDs from Renee, something pointless from Dew, nail polish from Legolas, tickets to see Episode II and Chamber of Secrets from Ewan and Oliver, a raincheck from Link (who apparently missed the memo), and plenty of other useless junk. "Thanks you guys! This really means a lot to me!"
"One more gift, love." Orli smiled and handed her an envelope. Sami looked confused for a bit, but started screaming when she peered into the envelope.
"What's with her?" Joey looked at Peter.
Peter shrugged. "I guess it was actually something useful."
"KEYS TO A VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE!" Sami tackled Orli and covered him with kisses. "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!"
"Lucky! I wanna car too!" Renee pouted.
"I'll buy you one when we get back to the Shire." Pippin shrugged.
"You gotta be 15 to get your license in Middle-Earth."
"Damn!" Renee kicked Sam. He ran off crying down the hall with the ruined cake.
"I want a car!" Megan looked at Frodo. "An expensive one from Italy-Town, too."
"Okay, babe." Frodo winked.
"T.T I feel poor!" Link sobbed.
"Aww, it's okay! ^○^ You don't have to buy me a car!" Katie hugged him.
"Really?"
"/ You never let me drive in the first place."
"Oh."
"I think it's about time we split up again." Ivan walked back into the room.
"You're staying with me this time!" Katie picked him up and headed downstairs.
"So…uh…now what?" Peter asked.
"I don't know." Oliver shoved a pretzel up Ewan's nose.
"Ow!" Ewan fell over.
"Here, you can be Keeper of the Book." Sami handed the large complete volume of LotR. "Read that and keep track of what's going on. Take this too." She shoved one of the spare plotholes at him. "For contact. I'm number one on the speed-dial. Renee's is number two, and Megan's is number 3. Though you'll be with her, so that shouldn't matter."
"Thanks." Peter pocketed his new items and followed Megan, Frodo, Sam, and Gollum back out to Frodo's van.
"'Kay…um…" Renee scratched her head. "So where do we go again?"
"Merry goes with the Riders of Pokémon, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli find the dead dudes, and Gandalf and Pippin…do something?" Sami guessed.
"I don't know. Just chuck everybody someplace and go with it." Legolas pouted.
"Well, I don't like dead stuff, so I'll go with this Merry guy." Joey shoved Dew in a flowerpot and handed it to Sami. "But you guys are keeping that." Merry and Joey walked over to the corner to discuss something stupid.
Sami took the flowerpot and tossed it to Katie. "You pulled her out of the plothole."
Katie gave the flowerpot to Ivan, whom she had chained to her arm. "Here, look after her," she told him.
"You!" Ivan gave the flowerpot to Pippin. "You can have her."
Pippin gave Dew to Renee, who gave it to Orli, who passed it to Ewan, who dropped it on Oliver.
"Flowerpot, flowerpot!" Renee and Sami began to chant together. "Who's got the flowerpot? Whoever's got the flowerpot is O-U-T—"
Oliver sat up quickly and chucked Dew at Legolas. By reflex, Legolas caught it before it hit the ground.
"OUT!" Sami and Renee finished singing.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Oliver and Ewan laughed for the bazillion and first time.
"Let's have a party!" Oliver suggested.
Link blinked. "But we just had a party," he pointed out.
"But we didn't have cake!" Pippin protested, pouting.
"True…" Link said.
Oliver and Ewan grabbed Sami's plothole and pulled out a huge cake, some cupcakes, vanilla and chocolate ice cream, and some absinthe.
"This is a party menu!" Ewan said happily. Oliver agreed.
"I call the first piece of cake!" Pippin announced.
Dew burst out of the flowerpot. "Cake, here I come!"
[x.x]
Sam waited carefully until he thought no one was looking. He shot his hand out to grab the Starburst that was on the floor of the van, but—
"Noses!" Gollum yelled, seizing Sam's arms. "Mineses." He snatched up the cherry Starburst, unwrapped it, and popped it into his mouth.
Riiiiiing… Something…well, rang.
"Hey, Peter, I think that's your plothole," Megan said.
"Oh." He opened it up. "Hello?" he asked hesitantly.
"…I loff youuuuuu!" a voice came from the other end of the plothole.
"What?"
[x.x]
"I…I loff you!" Sami was laughing so hard she fell over. Or maybe she fell over because…
"Ewan, just how much of that absinthe did you let her have?" Katie shrieked.
"Just…*hic*…a couple a sips…a glass or two…maybe a bottle or so…"
"I loff you, Spidey-Man!" Sami exclaimed before passing out.
"x.x Eh…" Ewan sweatdropped. "Well, it is her birthday…"
"Yeah, her birthday six years underage," Renee told him.
"Well…"
[x.x]
"Hello? Hello?" Peter looked at the plothole oddly.
"Who was it?" Megan asked.
Peter shrugged. "I dunno. Must have been a prank call."
***
"Anyway, we need to get sorted out here," Renee told everyone. "Gandalf—"
"I'm going to Minas Tirith," he told her.
"Uh, yeah. I'm gonna go with you, and—"
"If you're going, then I'm going!" Pippin interrupted.
"Well, duh. Anyway, everyone else, head toward us or something. Bye!" Renee pulled a Pepsi can out of her pocket and held it out for Pippin and Gandalf.
"Wassat?" Pippin looked at the soda can.
"A Portkey…duh…" Oliver said.
"Oh…"
Renee looked at her watch. "Bye everyone!" she exclaimed. In a flash, they were gone.
"I'm going with the Riders of Pokémon now," Merry spoke up.
"Who?" Legolas asked. Just then, Ash, Tracey, and someone else rode up.
"Them." Merry jerked his head toward them.
"I'm gonna go wit' ya, kid," Joey said.
"Okay," Merry agreed. One more horse arrived. Joey mounted it and Merry climbed on behind him.
"Bye, you guys!" They waved and rode off.
"What now?" Oliver glanced around.
"We shall take the Paths of the Dead," Aragorn proclaimed. "This way," he said, leading them.
"Okay…" Orli picked up Sami, and the remaining Fellowship followed Aragorn toward the Paths of the Dead.
