I've kinda reworked it cos it was bad and i didn't like it much either!!!

Disclaimer: Guess what, I ain't making any money, and they ain't mine. Sorted!
Pairing - C/A

Summary: What would have happened when Cordelia came home and found Angel in the shadows. (Conners still around!)
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Like An Egg In Bubble Wrap

Part 1 - Expectations


The front of the hotel was a welcome site. She had only been away for two weeks but to her it had seemed like a decade. She didn't care what they would think of her for not bringing Groo home with her, not that they would think badly of her, what mattered to her was that her family were behind the heavy Oak door. It shifted easily under her touch. She took in a deep breath expecting to smell freshly made coffee from Fred and The titter of Wesley and Gunn arguing over axe sizes.

"Hey guys I'm home and I bring presents." She expected Gunn to run up to her and scoop in his arms calling her 'Barbie' and Wesley to snap shut a tome he was reading to walk slowly to towards her smiling warmly, Fred would hang cautiously in the background but smiling still. Angel would still be in bed. "Gunn? Fred? Wesley? Angel?!" Cordelia shouted again, more fear in her voice.

She looked around her and sniffed the air for coffee. Instead there was a smell of musk. Dust lay on the reception desk, books coated in dust as if left in a hurry. Her delicate frame turned rapidly as she heard something move in the shadows. She could also hear the constant wail of Conner in the room above the staircase.

"Angel?" The shadow shifted more. She felt her heart quicken. "Angel!" She shouted louder. She knew it was him, she could sense him. Conner let out a louder wail and the shadow shifted its back to the stairs. "Angel your son is crying for you!" She shouted, suddenly angry at him. "For God sake Angel, can't you hear him? He's enough to wake the living dead, which includes you! Where is Gunn, Fred, and Wesley?"

Angel tossed papers in his hands and shook his head. "Cordelia? Gone, their all gone now. I told Fred and Gunn to go. Their all gone." Angel babbled incoherently.

Cordelia stared in confusion at the Vampire emerged in the shadows for a few seconds to another loud cry from Conner distracted her attention. She spun on her black heeled boots and stormed off to the stairs, climbing them two at a time.

Angel stayed statue still in the darkness as the cries hushed and Cordelia appeared back at the top of the stairs again with a blanket wrapped bundle in her arms. She moved gracefully down the stairs and stood in front of the still Angel that sat on a wooden chair.

Cordelia gasped it his appearance, deheavaled and his stature defeated and crumpled. Her concerned was quickly replaced by anger again she looked down at Conner's face. She peeled back the blanket to full exposed Conner's face. It was red, his eyes swollen and still full of tears. She noticed that his baby grow was grubby, hands white where they gripped the blanket for dear life, scared someone would take away his warm cocoon.

"He must have been crying for hours. Angel would you look at your son?" She pushed Conner closer to Angel, hoping he would take the babe in his arms. Instead Angel shied further away. Cordelia let out a huff in frustration and to fill the silent void between them. "Angel what is wrong with you? What happened with Gunn and Fred? And *where* is Wes?" Cordelia shouted in a firm voice but still trying to calm Conner.

"Wesley," He spat. "Betrayed us. Justine tried to kill him. *Wes* is in the country general hospital, hopefully dying slowly and painfully. He was going to give Conner to Holtz. Holtz tried to take away my son because I had killed his family when I was Angelus. People are still at risk from my past. Conner nearly died because of Angelus, because of me."

"*You* *are* *not* *Angelus*. You are Angel. I don't understand. Wesley was our family, Conner's uncle. He would never betray us." Cordelia sank into a nearby couch. She noticed for the fist time that Wesley's office had been torched from the inside. The blackened desk barely stood while the chair was now ash. The only thing recognisable was the filing cabinet in the corner but even that was blacked. "Where is Gunn and Fred then. They didn't take Wesleys side did they?" Cordelia asked fearful that even more family members had betrayed her.

"We were rescuing Conner. Holtz wanted to take Conner through some Hell portal but we got him back. His minions and Gunns gang tried to fight back. I was trying to get Conner to safety, I couldn't stop them, I promise I tried." Angel turned around and Cordelia realised why he has hid in the shadows. His face was as red as Conner's was, only his tears were blood red and dried into his face, only to be replaced by fresh ones now. "Fred had been training with Gunn just before you left, she thought she could take on more than she could and... there was nothing they could do...I tried to stop her..." Angel looked up at Cordelia with pleading eyes. "She died, right there in Gunns arms. I tried to save her but the blood was everywhere."

Cordelia used her spare hand to cover her mouth as her won tears began to fall over her cheeks. She cried to the girl that had become her friend, her best female companion and a part of their growing family. It wasn't right. She didn't want to ask but she had to know. "Where is Gunn?"

"He left, went to avenge Fred's death, gone after his Crew. He said something about going east. Might find him in New York one day. I tried to get him to stay but he said that we would be fine. We managed when Doyle died and it was just the two of us then." He rustled the papers in his hands again.

"What is that?" Cordelia asked motioning to the papers and glancing at the now sleeping Conner.

"Adoption papers!" Angel said in a monotone voice.

"*What?!*" Cordelia exclaimed. "You can't give Conner up Angel. He's gonna be your only son. You really think that he would be better off being brought up by strangers than his own father?" Cordelia shouted but then lowered her voice so that she wouldn't wake Conner.

"I don't want Conner to go to strangers I want him to stay with at least one parent." Angel said moving closer to the light but staying away from his love and his child.

"Angel, you are his only other parent. In case you've forgot, Darla is dead and after what happened last time I don't think raising her AGAIN would be a great idea."

"Darla is Conner's mother by blood and blood only. You have been his mother since the day he was born. You cared for him, stayed up with him when he was sick. You know every mole on his body, when and what he likes to eat. You are his mother Cordelia. I am asking you to take Conner, somewhere far away from here. I don't want to know where. If I don't know where he is no one can hurt him. If he stays with me, I will just bring him harm like Holtz or any other demon that's decided to take revenge for the past."

"Angel I..." Cordelia started.

"If he stays with me, he is as good as dead. Maybe you and Groo will make better parents to him."

Cordelia looked down at the bundle in her arms and frowned. "Groo and I spilt. I told him to find a way back to Pylea. I can't look after a baby Angel. I'm too selfish, irresponsible. Why do you think we have plastic flowers in here? I can't even look after real ones. You can't leave me Angel." Cordelia whispered.

"I will never leave you and you'll never leave me but I have go, to protect Conner and to protect you."

*And I thought what I felt was simple,
And I thought that I don't belong,
And now that I am leaving,
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you.
Yeah, I missed you.*


"Angel please don't leave me again. You promised last time would be the last. I need you here. You all I have left." She began to cry even harder. "Please." Cordelia begged.

"You'll have Conner. I know I promised but I can't risk Conner's life. I can't take care of him. Look how you found him. I can't do this anymore." He lay the papers out on one of the books that were on the couch and flicked a pen open. "I was waiting for you to get back. Just sign it Cordy, do it for Conner."

Cordelia lifted her hand from her lap and gingerly picked up the pen. Her brain was screaming *NO!* but her heart told her what was right and for the first time ever, Cordelia followed her heart. She couldn't look at Angel or the contract as she scrawled her name on the paper so instead she looked at Conner and knew in her heart what was right.

Angel rolled up the papers and walked back to the shadows. He pulled out two large hold alls and picked the up with ease. Cordelia stared at him dumb-founded. "You're leaving already. What about this place? What about Conner's stuff. ANGEL you can't just leave now."

"I have to go." Angel placed a light kiss on a forehead. "Conner's trust fund is in the safe and this place is now yours but don't stay here. Sell it, let it out, blow it up for all I care about this Hellhole." He peeled back the covers and stroked his sons' cheek for the last time.

Cordelia looked up to the balcony of the stairs at a rustling. When she turned back around Angel had left and she was all alone with Conner sleeping peacefully in her arms. Unaware of what the future held, unsure of just how to be a mother, Cordelia let the tears fall unchecked from her cheeks and then composed herself and headed up to Conner's nursery to pack some of his thing. As she looked at the bed where Angel slept Cordelia could feel his presence but knew he would never sleep in that bed again. The wardrobe opened and she ran her hand across the silk shirts. She inhaled his scent as it flew from what he had left. Cordelia knew Angel could survive on very little and clothes were the least of his worries. As she glanced at the bottom of the wardrobe Cordelia spotted an ornate wooden box on the shoe sheft. Cordelia had only seen it once before.

It was sitting out on Angels bed when Buffy had died. He was looking at it with a soulful face, holding a piece of paper in his hand and stroking it! Cordelia had guessed it was a picture of Buffy. The box seemed some how sacred and she didn't want to unleash the memories in it, not just yet. Cordelia put the box in the suitcase that was now sitting on Angels bed. Conner was sleeping in his crib, his tears now dry, at least of a while. Her gaze shifted over to Angels bed side cabinet and she instinctivily picked up a picture of her and Angel standing outside in the courtyard, the stars shining down on them, looking perfectly happy. She held the picture close to her as she began to pick up Conner's cuddly toys from the floor and place them in a bag.


*OK, a Four part series (I think) so fill in that little form at the bottom or wait til the end and tell me what you...em…think. Flames keep me warm so I don't mind! Now i bet your wondering what the hell happened to Gunn and Lindsay. And where the hell has Wesley gone? Stayed tuned to find out folks!!!*