Cliff Notes

Cliff Notes

I am not responsible for my digimon's actions. I swear.

Matt's back at the company pool, chilling on an inflatable chaise lounge with an iced coffee. Playboy bunnies in string bikinis are playing Marco Polo in the background, cooing and giggling over the bishounen.

Whoa! Hold it! Just because you host the show doesn't mean you write the fic!

Lia and I are not going to sit here and take this!

"Wait…when did Sora get Omnipotent Author Boldface?"

Right now. Make the bunnies disappear or Lia and I saw you in half!

Matt grumbles something under his breath and the Playmates vanish.

"I'm Matt, and you're here with another dose of Cliff Notes. Now hopefully Gabumon won't try anything ice cream related to…oh crap."

The lizard-dog thingy comes waddling past the pool with a boxload of explosive devices and a gun holster strapped to his waist. Of course, instead of guns, Gabumon's packing ice cream scoops.

"Gabumon, what are you doing?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all! I certainly wasn't planning on raiding the Dairy Queen down the street!"

Matt sighs and tips his blue-tinted sunglasses back. "Well, let's light this candle."

"You want a firecracker? I can blow the windshield off the nearest ice cream truck and get one for you while the driver's disoriented!"

*sigh* "Okay, so in the latest books of the Digital Keepers saga, the gang is marching through the snow. It would've been walking, but Mimi had to complain. And they were singing while they were marching. Well, they (or we) split up…typical Digidestined style. One group heads off towards the ocean to find Oceanamon, the other to the mountains to seek out Polarimon. Of course, the Sin Digimon are watching. My alternate universe self happens to think Keeper #1, Gaiamon, is one bishoujo of a tree, and it confuses Gabumon because he thinks I still like Sora…our relationship is on the rocks in this fic. Well, Davis starts acting like a dolt and ends up getting us attacked by the Shadow…oh no, I'm not even finishing that word. I know perfectly well what happens every time I say that."

"Say what, Matt?" Gabumon asks.

"Shadowmon…NO!"

The cat pops up. "Somebody ring for me?"

"Hi Shad! You wanna help me break into the Dairy Queen? We can sit under the soft serve machines and turn them on so the ice cream drips right into our mouths!"

Matt blinks. "That's disgusting."

"I wanna help I wanna help I wanna help I wanna help I wanna…I have a vet's appointment today," the digital kitten whined.

"Darn. I'll save ya something good."

"Okie-dokie!"

"Where was I? Oh, right, the attack. One of the Shadowmon…not you, cat…grabs Davis and takes off with him, much to Chibimon's chagrin. Meanwhile, a digimon called Penguinmon is searching for his Digidestined partner, the Child of Humility. Back with Davis, the Shadowmon tell him that they plan to capture Oceanamon…right before they attempt feeding Dai to a Devidramon. Our goggled goofball escapes using some pretty smooth moves on his part, and arrives back with our group just in time to help us fight the Shadowmon. And in the other team, Tai was acting just as goofy as Davis had been. Then the Seven Sins decided that if they use the Shadowmon to blot out the sky, we couldn't contact Polarimon. So the Shadowmon formed a thick blanket, and even the combined attacks of several champions and two ultimate digimon couldn't stop them. Back in my group, we ended up in Digitamamon's diner. Joe and I had conniption fits about it. Greedmon, Pridemon, and Lustmon showed up and apparently they know something about Wormmon that we don't. Gomamon digivolved into Ikkakumon, and got whapped so badly, he vanished. As in they smacked him, he went flying, we can't find him. What a day!"

Gabumon starts running down the road towards the DQ, laughing maniacally.

"Um, I've gotta run. For Cliff Notes, I'm Matt Ishida. Catch ya later! GABUMON, GET BACK HERE! YOU ARE NOT BLOWING THAT ICE CREAM STORE UP! GABUMON!!!"

~*~

Don't give Matt any reviews, he's mean.

Yeah!

Girls. Sheesh.