Chapter Thirteen: She Deserves the World
Harry entered the room and saw Jasna staring at her tray of food. When she heard the door close, she looked up and saw him.
"Jasna, you have to eat, you're killing yourself." She didn't reply. Dumbledore said she hadn't said a word since Harry spoke with her the day before. She just stared at him, blankly. Harry sat down in the chair next to her.
"OK, maybe you don't care if you're killing yourself. But Jasna, you're killing me!" though her expression didn't show it, Harry felt he'd caught her interest. But she still didn't reply. "I don't know what you're doing here, Jasna, but you're killing me. It just kills me to see you like this; sad, scared, angry… broken… It's just not you. You're isolating yourself from everyone who wants to help you, from everyone who loves you. I just want to know why! Why, Jasna?" Jasna was as silent as a wilted rose. Harry looked at his feet and blinked away the tears. Jasna seemed to have lost interest him and turned away to look straight ahead of her out the window.
"I thought you were strong, Jasna," he whispered, eyes on the floor. His girlfriend didn't move. "You were the strongest person I knew. You put up with the prejudice against you and your mother. You faced the fact about who your father was and you never allowed him to wield any power over you whatsoever. You always looked him in the eye and went through the pain he put you through with a brave face. You looked your monsters in the eye, Jasna. You were brave, braver than I ever could be. I know I'd crumble before him if I was in your shoes, I wouldn't be able to take it. And you get no credit for your bravery. You deserve it much more than I do. And I swear, if I could give it to you, I would! Honestly, I would, if I knew it would make you happy and if it could make you yourself again.
"You deserve everything you want, Jasna, you deserve the world. You deserve happiness. But you don't deserve this. You don't deserve this torment you're struggling against. You don't deserve to suffer the pain of losing your mother, you don't deserve to go through the agony he puts you through every day of your life. Though you may not believe it, I understand now, Jasna. I understand what you go through, what he puts you through. I understand you better than you understand yourself, remember?"
Jasna was staring straight ahead with eyes as blank and cold as a frozen evergreen forest. Harry sighed, looked down, and then looked back up at the one person he had ever truly loved. He took her hand tenderly in his. She didn't seem to notice.
"You're a beautiful person, Jasna. You have a great personality, you're fun to laugh with and you're even fun to argue with. You have the prettiest face I've ever seen and you have the biggest heart that I've ever known. You're absolutely perfect to me, despite what anyone else says. I don't care if you never talk again; I don't care if you just stay in some sort of expressionless state like this; I don't care if you hate me. You're still the most beautiful, most graceful creature that ever walked the face of this earth. You're perfect. And I love you. I loved you when you were screaming at me. I loved you when you kissed me; I loved you when you danced with me. I loved you when he took you away; I loved you when I found you bruised and beaten; I loved you when you asked me if it was true; and I love you now. I love you now, even as you sit in that bed staring at the window. And I'll always love you, Jasna, always."
Harry waited a moment, staring at Jasna expectantly. Soon, he saw her frown and look down at his hand, holding hers, as if just realizing he'd done it. Then, she looked up at him, still frowning as if confused. Then, she smiled. Harry smiled too. He took this as his cue and leaned in to hug her. She didn't pull away this time. This time, she leaned her head on his shoulder, a tear in her eyes, and hugged him back.
Over the next few days, Jasna was unresponsive to everyone. The only person she seemed to acknowledge was alive was Harry Potter. Harry was the only one that she would show any signs of life to. She'd lean her head on his shoulder every now and then while he put his arm around her, soothing her, trying to convince her to come back to reality. She'd smile at him occasionally, and while they were supposed to be becoming more frequent, it was the opposite. She smiled less and less as the days past.
"Come on, Jasna," Harry whispered kindly in her ear one
day. "You have to come back sometime.
They miss you here. Ron and
Hermione miss you loads. You don't want
to let them down, do you?" She didn't answer.
She would usually respond in some way to Harry's questions, but she
wasn't speaking anymore. She just
shifted a bit, trying to get closer to Harry who gave her a small squeeze
around the shoulders. She let out a
small sob.
"Sh, sh, relax, I'm here. I'll always
be here. I love you, Jasna Marie
Larden. I always will."
It was weeks after Jasna had been found and the rumors had been spread when Dumbledore knew something had to be done. Something had to be done to help Jasna and it couldn't be done here. Though people she loved and a familiar place surrounded her, it seemed as though Hogwarts was doing more harm to her than good. Dumbledore knew all too well that it would be hell when Harry found out. The poor boy. He walked over to his table.
"Harry?" he said. Harry looked up at him. Dumbledore noticed that Ron and Hermione were watching him as well. He let out a sad sigh.
"Harry, there's nothing we can do for Jasna here. It seems that Hogwarts isn't helping her at
all. Though it is a friendly environment,
she doesn't seem to be doing any better.
There is a ward in St. Mungo's, a mental health ward that we'll have to
send her to…"
"No!" Harry cried, standing up.
"Harry, sit down…" Ron whispered. Hermione had her hands to her mouth.
"She'll do better, I know she will! You can't move her, you can't! She needs me, she needs me to take care of her! I can't take care of her if she's not here! Please, Professor! She won't do any better at St. Mungo's than she will here! This is the best place for her, can't you see that? Professor, please, you can't!" Harry was practically begging Dumbledore not to do this, but Dumbledore knew it had to be done, for Jasna's own good. He just shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Harry. It will be better for her there. The doctors think she'll do much better there, Madam Pomfrey believes she'll do much better there. You can see her any time you want, Harry." Harry sighed and fell back into his seat, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.
"I…"
"It's OK, Harry…" Ron patted him comfortingly on the back.
"She'll be fine, Harry, this'll help her." Hermione did her best to cheer him up too.
"It's just that… I… I feel so…"
"So what, Harry?" Ron asked.
"Helpless."
"You have to get better, Jasna," Harry whispered into her hair as he held her close. "You have to, OK? If you don't they'll take you away. They'll take you away from here to some mental health ward at St. Mungo's…" Jasna emitted a small sob. "I know, I know, I feel the same way. But that's why you have to get better. You have to speak again. You have to eat more, Jasna. Starving yourself doesn't help anything. This is destroying us, Jasna. It's destroying you and it's destroying me. Please, Jasna, you have to do something."
"I… I don't want to go, Harry…" Harry pulled away slightly to look at her. There were tears in her eyes.
"Did you just…"
"I don't want to go.
I don't want to leave you." Harry embraced her again as she cried on his
shoulder.
"I know, I know. I don't want you to go
either. But you're speaking again,
that's a good sign, they might-"
"You don't get it…" Jasna whispered. "I don't want to go."
"I know. I get it,
Jasna."
"No you don't." She slowly shook her head.
Harry sighed. He decided that
agreeing with her might be the best way.
"OK, I don't get it then."
"I don't want to go. I don't want to go." She sobbed. He kissed her forehead softly.
"Sh, Jasna, it'll be OK. Everything will be OK."
"Everything will be OK," Jasna repeated in a whisper.
It happened in the middle of the night. Harry had awoken from a startling nightmare. He could still hear Jasna's piercing screams ringing in his ears. Something was wrong. He sat up in his bed and a grim sense swept over him. Something was definitely wrong.
Jumping out of bed, he grabbed a robe and ran into the common room where he saw Professor McGonagall climbing in through the portrait hole. She was slightly surprised to see Harry there.
"What's wrong, Professor?"
"Where's Mr. Weasley and Miss. Granger?" she replied.
"Still asleep, I'd expect. What's wrong?"
"We must awaken them. I'll get Granger, you get Weasley."
"Tell me what's wrong!" Harry demanded.
"Once your friends are together, I'll take you to it, OK?" McGonagall was very insistent. Yet, so was Harry.
"If it has anything to do with Jasna-"
"Get Ron, Harry!" McGonagall cried.
Harry nodded and ran back up to his dormitory.
"Ron!" he said quietly and hastily. "Ron!" He shook his best friend by the shoulders.
"Wha… Harry?" Ron said groggily and opened his eyes.
"Yes. Come on, Ron, we have to go downstairs, Professor McGonagall needs to talk to us."
"What about?" Ron asked.
"I don't know. She
won't tell me until you and Hermione are there. Ron, I think it's something about Jasna."
"Jasna?" Ron's weariness seemed to disappear instantly as he sat straight up in
bed. Harry nodded. Ron got up and followed Harry
downstairs. McGonagall and Hermione
were already there.
"Gentlemen, Miss Granger, follow me." The students followed McGonagall out of the portrait hole down the hall. Though McGonagall hadn't told them anything, all three knew it was something about Jasna. No one said a word as they walked down the silent corridor.
As they approached the hospital wing, McGonagall began to speak.
"I didn't think it was a good idea to wake you in the middle of the night, but Dumbledore insisted you would have wanted to be alerted right away…" They came to the door. McGonagall turned around and faced the three. "Right. What you are about to learn might be startling and will definitely be devastating. I want you to brace yourselves." Harry, Ron and Hermione nodded. As McGonagall turned and placed her hand on the doorknob, Harry vividly remembered his dream.
"In life and death
In Essence bind
Let those who know
Have piece of mind." Jasna whispered to her wand. It glowed slightly and then fell still. She then turned to her bedside table where a small knife lay.
"I love you, Harry Potter." She sighed and let the words carry out on the cool night air.
And then, he heard the scream.
