XVII - KEEPING SECRETS

The first thing Warrick noticed when he walked into the lounge at 1:15 was that Nick was there before him. That in itself was unusual - Nick was normally the last guy to arrive. The second thing he noticed was that Nick's eyes were closed, a big smile was on his face, and he was singing to himself. Singing! ~The best of times.are when I'm alone with you.~

Warrick grinned, snuck up to his friend, and joined in the singing, a patently false falsetto filling the room, "When I'm alone with you, you brighten up the night."

Nick nearly jumped out of his skin. "Jesus, Warrick! Don't sneak up on me like that!" He was blushing furiously, and Warrick started laughing.

"Blushing, Nick? This is gonna be so good. So, mind telling me why you were singing? And why are you sitting there looking like Howdy-Doody on a sugar high?"

Nick shrugged, his skin turning an even deeper red than Warrick would have believed possible. "No reason."

"Really? Why don't I believe you?"

Sara sauntered into the room, and immediately walked over to the coffee machine, looking at the liquid contents dubiously. "Hey Warrick!" She said in greeting. "Anyone know if this is fresh?"

Warrick looked at Sara. Warrick looked at Nick. Warrick looked at Nick looking at Sara. Sara was wearing a red men's knit golf shirt tucked into her jeans. The shirt had a small Texas flag embroidered on the cuff of the left sleeve, and was obviously several sizes too large for her. *No WAY!*

"Sara?" Warrick asked, the innocent tone in his voice belied by the teasing glint in his eyes. "Do you have any idea why Nick was singing 'The Best of Times' when I walked into the lounge?"

Sara didn't look at him as she poured her coffee and stirred some cream. "Nope. Why would I?"

Warrick laughed. God, Sara was a cool customer. "No reason." He sauntered over to her, teasing gently, "Nick's shirt looks mighty nice on you, though."

Sara looked at him coolly, before giving in and flashing him a grin. "Jeez, Warrick. We're trying to be discreet here."

Warrick glanced at Nick, pointedly. "Well, if you don't want anyone else to know about it." he began.

"Know about what?" Catherine breezed into the room, smiling. "You guys keeping secrets, again?" She looked at Nick, who was studiously looking at his hands, before allowing her gaze to travel to Sara and Warrick. "Hey, wait a minute! Sara, is that Nick's shirt?"

Sara didn't respond, but she didn't need too, she just looked at Catherine and gave her a shy tiny smile. Catherine smiled back, even as her stomach sank. She recognized that first-flush-of-romance smile, and knew immediately that Grissom - who was nothing if not observant - would pick it up right away as well.

Sighing, she thought to herself, 'Well, it can't be helped.' Grissom was a grown man, and Catherine had been telling him for years that he needed to open up more; not be so tentative in the relationships he formed with others. Maybe this would be just the kick in the ass he needed. Maybe losing Sara before he had ever told her how he felt would be the best thing that ever happened to him. And maybe pigs would fly. She shook her head - No. Who was she trying to kid? Grissom, although he would try to hide it, would be devastated. It would probably send him even further into his thick Grissom-shell. Catherine felt like crying. All these thoughts flashed through her head as she poured herself a cup of coffee, carefully composing her face, before turning and settling at the table.

* * * * *

"Okay, this is what we got," said Brass, as he sauntered into the break room. He had a stack of fax papers in his hand, neatly separated into two files. "Grissom wants you guys to get started on this - see if you can find anything. He'll be down in a little while - he's talking to the coroner who signed the death certificate on Nancy's mother."

"And what is that?" Warrick nodded at the papers Brass held.

"The top stack are medical files. Took a lot of doing, but we finally got access to Emily Elizabeth Watson's medical records - physical, psychiatric - you name it. The sheriff down there pulled a lot of strings for us. He's also got someone going through back-files, to see if Earl's been in any kind of trouble in the past. He's given us full authority to lay charges here against Earl, and he says he'll enforce them when Earl is returned to Michigan - two of his men are arriving tomorrow to escort him back when we're finished with him. This bastard's gonna finally get his.

"The second stack is - uh - files from children's services. Seems that Earl and Becky have been active foster parents over the years. Grissom wants you-" and here he looked at Nick, "-to see if you can track down any of these kids. From what we can tell, it appears they just fell off the face of the earth."

"How many?" Nick's voice was tight, as he reached out for the neatly stapled file.

Brass' expression was grim. "Thirteen."

* * * * *

Catherine knocked on the door to Grissom's office, and smiled when Grissom nodded to the empty seat in front of his desk. Sitting down, she placed the extra cup of coffee she had brought for him to the side of his desk blotter. Grissom was still on the phone.

"You're saying she shot herself in the head? Didn't you think that was rather odd?" Grissom's voice was expressionless, but Catherine could tell by the way he drummed his fingers on his desk top that he was frustrated.

"Uh - huh. But, considering that only a very small percentage of female suicides kill themselves through violent means.." Grissom rolled his eyes at Catherine. "Yes, I understand that, but pills are much more common. Any prints other than hers on the gun?"

Catherine grabbed a pen, and wrote a note to Grissom, who nodded as he read it. "Okay, I see. Did the police ever look at this as a suspicious death? Okay, yes, yes. I know - 30 years as the chief coroner---not expected to remember every body you examine--" Grissom sighed. "No, I'm not humoring you. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was." Catherine smiled at that, and mouthed at Grissom, 'Yes you were.'

Grissom grimaced back. "Listen, you said you could send me the autopsy photos? And the full report, right - we've only got the death certificate here and the front page of the report. Today, right? Okay. Good - here's my email address."

Catherine laughed at Grissom as he hung up the phone and frowned at it. "Would you believe that Earl's prints were on the gun as well, but the police never even questioned that Emily had killed herself?" He sighed, "At least, he can get the autopsy photos and full coroners report to me - he has them scanned into his computer." At Catherine's questioning look, Grissom shrugged. "Seems he does guest lectures at the university every once in a while, and he uses that case as a prime example of self- mutilation."

Sipping his coffee, Grissom leaned back in his chair. "Why aren't you going through the medical records with Sara and Warrick?"

"Thought you'd like a coffee. And, I thought I would warn you ahead of time, Sara is wearing Nick's shirt." Catherine glanced at Grissom surreptitiously, trying to gauge his reaction to this news. Grissom looked at her, annoyed.

"Thanks for sharing. Now, if you don't mind."

"Grissom. Don't do that to me, don't try to pretend that it doesn't bother you."

"What do you want me to do, Catherine? Break down in tears? Beat my chest and lament? I expected this, and I accept it. She's young; he's young."

"If you start talking about pheromones, I'm going to be really pissed off." Catherine interrupted, her voice angry. "I understand that you aren't a 'people person'. I accept that you prefer bugs to people; that you are emotionally withdrawn; that it's hard for you - for whatever reason - to allow yourself to form connections with people that care for you! But this? Why do you refuse-" Catherine sighed loudly, her tirade stopping as quickly as it began. Her voice gentled.

"Grissom, I care about you. I don't know why, but I do. And I can't understand why you won't allow yourself to be happy. Do you know your whole demeanor changes when you're with her? You smile more. You seem more relaxed. You joke. What's so wrong, than, with taking it to the next level. I know you've admitted to yourself that you're in love with her - why can't you admit it to Sara?"

Grissom was looking at his hands. He could handle Catherine's anger, but this gentleness was undoing him. He almost didn't recognize his own voice as he replied, "What if she doesn't love me back?"

"What if she does?" Catherine had walked around to the side of his desk, and squatted down in front of him, her hands reaching out and squeezing his. "You have to judge for yourself, Grissom. What risks are you willing to take? Loving someone is the biggest risk in the world, because they might not love you back. But what if they do? Isn't the potential for pain far outweighed by the potential for happiness? We only have a finite time to enjoy ourselves here on this earth, Grissom. Don't you think it's time you stopped hiding, and started really living?" Standing up, she leaned forward and kissed Grissom softly on the cheek. "If you want to talk, I'll be in the break room reading medical records. With Sara."

_________

Authors note: Thanks for all the reviews - I appreciate them, and they spur me on to write more. I'm playing with a couple of different scenarios in my head right now, so even I don't know what's going to happen!