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" " : Indicates spoken words.
italics : Indicate thoughts.
] [ : Indicates radio transmissions.
Aberrant Impact
Chapter 5
Tokyo 3, 2015; 8:33 A.M. NERV Central Hospital Intensive Care Ward, East Wing, Section Four, Nursing Station Four.
Kieko watched him until he turned down the hall towards the First Cranial Nerve Department before returning to her work, her smile soft and happy. Why were you so nervous, silly? she asked herself as she turned back to her work. He's the younger one, he should have been nervous, not the both of us! Why was I so damn nervous? At least after he calmed down, you shouldn't have been. She wasn't sure, but she felt that it was because he seemed so different than her boyfriends had been, especially on the first meeting. She felt something different with this young man. Something she had only truly felt once. She shuddered, as she remembered that time. Then she forced the memory to the back of her mind. The past is the past and can't be changed… she thought, remembering something that her mother had told her when she was young. But the future is ours to explore, with only our will to slow us down. Even if I don't know what he's like, I'd like to get to know him… Kieko smiled as she realized that she wanted to find out what he was like, and that didn't care what anyone thought of her for being interested in a fifteen year old boy. Besides, he is one of the Children, and the pilot of Eva Unit-01, he has to be more mature than most of those other guys I've been with! Her last thought caught her off guard. She looked at her computer screen, lost in thought for a moment. Why so I suddenly feel so strongly about him? We've just met, after all! Why should I even be interested in him, mature or not? She could not understand it. She had not been in a relationship for several months, and even then, it had ended on a very bad note. She had said that she would not have another man in her life for years, if ever. Why had this boy struck such a chord with her?
Does it matter? Mother always said 'When you grow up, and you feel the connection, just go for it! Especially if he's fairly close to your age, and damn what other people think!' right? she asked herself as a small private smile came to her face; and she once again felt giddy inside, very much like when she had gotten out of her car earlier that morning. He's cute, has a good personality, even if he's a little dour and depressed right now... Even if he is a little easily embarrassed, he controls his anger well, and if someone listens, he's willing to talk it out so it doesn't eat him up. Her smile widened, as she thought of why he had come to the hospital. He cares about his friends, no matter what… She almost laughed aloud as she thought that, the giddy feeling even stronger than before. I hope I'm right, because I do feel that way, don't I? A soft, serene, and accepting smile lit her face. She tried to school her face so the smile was as neutral as she could make it. She didn't think that the smile would leave her face all day.
Yes, I think I've already started to fal-… she stopped herself in mid thought, what she was about to say to herself hitting her like a physical blow. She realized that she had thought too soon, about how the day would go. She walked back to her chair, and sat heavily. Her happy face was now blankly shocked, all emotions, even her overwhelming giddiness, drained from her. Looking at her computer terminal, she saw that all her paperwork had left was to fill in a couple of check boxes and to sign her electronic signature to it. She did so, her movements stiff and mechanical. As she saved the document, her mind started to work again, her thoughts confused, and painful. What am I thinking…? I said… I said that I'd… I'd wait, before I felt… Because of him, I… I didn't have a choice… She buried her face in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees, tears starting to stream from her eyes.
Kieko's body shook as she tried to hold grief filled sobs. She did not hear her friend Marisa walk up, face filled with concern for her. Marisa rushed to her friend's side, going to one knee to be fact to face with her friend. "Kieko" she said, softly, as she gently placed a hand on her friends shoulder. Kieko jumped as her friend touched her, barely holding a hand back that would have connected with her friend's face. "Hey" Marisa continued, ignoring the near slap, sliding an arm around Kieko's shoulder "Are you all right? What happened?"
Kieko forced herself to calm down, wiping the tears off of her face and smiling weakly up at her friend. "I'm fine, Mari…" she said, "I just had a lot of things hit me at once. Uhm… I'm caught up with my work, how bout you?"
Marisa looked at her friend dubiously for a moment, but found no reason to disbelieve her. "I was just coming to fill out my morning rounds paperwork, why?" she felt she already knew the reason why, yet felt it best for her friend to tell her.
"I was wondering if you could watch the station for a few?" she hoped that Marisa understood that she needed some time alone. "I, um, I need a couple of minutes…" She felt the emotions welling up inside of her again, and she looked at Marisa, her eyes pleading.
"No problem, Kieko…" Marisa soothed, "I can handle it, OK? You just go and take your couple minutes…"
Kieko gave her friend a thankful expression, and gave her a quick, fierce hug, and left the nurses station. "Thanks, Mari… I'll be in the restroom if you need me, OK?" she said simply, walking towards the restroom.
"OK, Kieko…" She looked at her friend a moment, torn over what to do, then added, "Hey, if you need someone to talk to about whatever it is…" Kieko looked back again, and smiled weakly, nodding, then turned back, and continued down the hall.
When she got to the bathroom, she checked to see if she was alone, and, finding she was, sat down in a stall. "What am I going to do? If I tell him, he may…" She once again brought her hands to her face. She managed to stifle her tears for a moment. Why do I feel like this for you? I just met you! I shouldn't feel this way, should I? I know I said I wouldn't feel like this again, not so soon, but… She looked up from her palms, and thought about what her mother had said, about following your feelings when you felt a connection with someone, and a sob escaped her, almost causing her to break down. I, I can't feel this way, though! Because of him, I… I didn't have a choice… He made me, but still, I… She remembered Shinji's smile, and another sob escaped from her, and tears started to well up behind her tightly closed eyes. Oh, Shinji, you can't be like him; you're better than that... I just know it, I feel that you are. You're willing to give so much! She thought about that, for a moment, and an almost overwhelming fact struck her, causing her to sit up, and take her hands away from her face slightly. And you trusted me! She mulled that for a moment. You trusted me with your feelings about piloting… You barely know me, and you told me something I could use against you, just to explain why you were angry… she thought wonderingly, I have to do the same for him. I have to tell him, or I might as well not even think about trying to date him, or calling him my boyfriend… Her face hardened for a moment, in determination, her hands falling towards her lap.
"I'll tell him, I'll let him know…" she said, barely above a whisper, but full of surety and will. Then, unexpectedly, that will faltered, grief washing over her features. Yes, I'll let him know… That I'm weak, that I can't protect my own family… Not without… She felt the sobs return with a vengeance, and tears streamed from her eyes. Instead of trying to stop the sobs, she buried her face in her hands again, and let them flow out of her. Her body shook violently with each sob, and the restroom was filled with the sounds of her sobs; the sobs lasted for only a few minutes before she clamped her iron control back down on her emotions, to compose herself enough to leave the stall. No, I can't do this here, not at work… I'll wait until later, after I tell him. I… A few last tears flowed down her cheeks, then nothing. She walked over to the sinks and looked into the mirror. She was happy that she wore basically no makeup, as it would have run all over her face. She ran the cold water, and took a paper towel from the dispenser, padding the tears from her face. Then she wet the paper towel with cold water, wrung it slightly, and held it against her eyes, so the swelling went down, so she didn't look like she was crying. I can't have him think I'm a crybaby when we have lunch now, can I? She smiled a very small smile to her reflection, satisfied that she looked presentable, and started for the door. I hope that he understands, and doesn't run from me when I tell him… I don't think I could take that, if he did… And I really didn't have a choice, did? I'm sure Shinji will understand.
As she reached for the door to the bathroom, her last thought brought her to a pause. He… He will! I didn't have a choice, I had to! she protested to herself, trying to convince herself of the truth of the thought. Then she spoke the one thought that had been nagging her, that had been at the edge of her thoughts since waking from her nightmare. Her voice was almost inaudible, even to her, "I… I still killed him…" She opened the door, and returned to work, as if nothing had happened.
Tokyo 3, 2015; 8:36 A.M. NERV Central Hospital, First Cranial Nerve Department, Room 303
In room 303 of the First Cranial Nerve Department, the object of Shinji Ikari's visit is sleeping the sleep of the dying. She lay on her side, curled into an almost fetal position, as if all things were right with the world. In truth, though, she was suffering a horrid nightmare. A dark, vicious dream of her past, and the guilt she felt over the events of her past. The fact that she had moved from her position on her back that the nurses had left her in, even though in her fairly deep comatose state, gave proof to that. To anyone not knowing that, they would see that she is an attractive young woman, with long auburn hair, and a fit, athletic body, her apparent physical maturity belying her tender age of fourteen. Her title also bellied her age. She is Asuka Langley Sohryu, Second Child, and Designated Pilot of Evangelion Unit-02. She has been trained for most of her young life to pilot the huge machine called Evangelion Unit-02; to pilot one of the only machines mankind has been able to devise to defeat an angel. She has been like this since she was recovered from an abandoned house by Section Two. She had been contemplating suicide, as well as being on the verge of death. All because she felt that she was beyond her usefulness. After suffering from failing Eva synchronization scores, and losing two battles in a row to the angels, her scores had fallen quite low. The fifteenth angel had been what finally felled this once proud girl. The angel Arael had raped her mind, almost to the point of killing her. When she was recovered, she had been put in this ward for medical as well as security observation. Now she was in a coma, slowly descending into the depths of her own mind, slowly falling into the realm of death. Although she was alone in her soul's descent, she was not alone physically.
If she knew she was being watched over by another person, a young boy named Shinji Ikari, she might have been moderately embarrassed, maybe even irked. He didn't seem to care however, as he looked upon the side of the young woman's face, his young, handsome face lost in thought. He had been sitting there for almost forty-five minutes, thinking, looking back through his memories of the last several months. He had come to the city of Tokyo-3 at his father's behest, to pilot Eva Unit-01. He had almost refused, until his father had ordered Rei Ayanami, First Child, and Designated Pilot of Evangelion Unit-00, to pilot Unit-01. An energy blast from the third angel, Sachiel, had caused part of the Eva hanger to collapse, raining girders and lighting fixtures down upon him. Unit-01 had protected him by ripping its arm out of its restraints, and covering the cowering boy under its right arm. He had immediately gone to help the young woman, and upon realizing the extent of her injuries, had agreed to pilot Unit-01. He had been in Tokyo-3 ever since.
Over the next several weeks, he had gotten to know Ayanami somewhat. In fact, he had grown to know her to the point of being able to talk to her more than most other members of the opposite sex, and even to consider her a friend of sorts. At first, though, she had seemed to be cold, distant, especially in school. She lacked friends, and that bothered him. He had tried to get to know her a couple of times, but he usually ended up turning into a stammering mess of apology, to which she had just stared at him, seemingly uncomprehending his distress. That slowly changed, however. Especially after the day he had taken her new NERV identification badge to her. He remembered, blushing, how he had embarrassed himself at her apartment, so badly that she had left him standing in place, apologizing to the air. He had followed her then, all the way to NERV headquarters, where he had slid her new card through the magnetic reader at the gate, when her old card had not worked. She had shown emotion then, annoyance when he held her new card out to her after her several failed attempts to enter with her old card.
He also remembered how she had slapped him when he had told her that he didn't trust his father. That had shocked him so much that he had no response to her action. Soon after, the Fifth angel had attacked, and she had told him she would protect him. She had, and almost died in the process. When the battle was over, he had immediately gone over to her severely damaged Eva Unit-00, and opened it to see if she was all right, burning his hands in the process. She had been all right, but had not understood his tears at seeing her alive. He had expressed to her why he cried, and when she had told him that she didn't know what to do, he had suggested that maybe she could try smiling. She had, and he had realized just how beautiful she was. He had been so happy to see her smile for him; to be one of the very few people to have ever seen her smile like she had, to have that smile shared with them.
He had honestly liked her. No, he thought tiredly, No I didn't just like you… I think that I loved you, at that point in time… He sighed, rubbing his sleep deprived eyes with the palms of his hands. He still smiled though, remembering how he had watched her when he could; in school, especially during gym class when the girls were swimming; during synch tests, when she was wearing her skintight plug suit; whenever he didn't think someone was looking. He remembered how he would admire her petite body, with its supple, lithe musculature, and how her smallish breasts perfectly accented her gymnast's body. He had longed to touch and run his fingers through her sky blue hair, to stare into her disconcerting, mysterious, but still beautiful eyes. He was still intrigued by her eyes, even after all that had happened. Eyes that were a red almost as pure as blood. To his way of thinking, even though she was only fourteen, she could easily be considered by someone to much older. Especially when she spoke; her voice tended, at least to his ears, to have a rather husky, mature texture to it, not the young, sometimes overly girlish voice of most of the girls from his class. Ad to this her almost feline grace, and economy of movement, and she just seemed to be so much older to him. His smile saddened as he looked down at the girl in front of him. Yes, I did love you Ayanami… But that changed, in time… Unbeknownst to the young man, his right hand clenched and unclenched convulsively.
His thoughts darkened then, his face changing to match his mood, his smile changed, turning angry as well as saddened, as he thought back to the battle with the sixteenth angel. She had died, destroying herself and the sixteenth angel in the conflagration that had been the collapse of her Eva's core. At least he believed she had died. He had seen her several hours after the explosion that had decimated Tokyo-3. When he had seen her, she had changed. So much so that she seemed to be another person all together. Even she had seemed to believe she was someone else, as she had called herself the "Third". Then, days later, Dr. Akagi had shown to his guardian and commanding officer, Misato Katsuragi, and himself something horrifying. She had shown them the some of the secrets in Terminal Dogma. She had shown them the Eva "burial ground", where all of the failed Evas had been left. Then she had shown them Rei's re-birthing chamber… The chamber that held all of Rei Ayanami's hundreds of clones, clones that contained the DNA of his mother, and other DNA. Thus, he had been given the proof that the Rei Ayanami that he had seen at the hospital had not been the Rei Ayanami he had known.
He hadn't asked what other DNA she had in her. He had already had enough to deal with. Such as the rapidly decaying psyche of Asuka. He had met the now sleeping young woman in front of him a few months earlier on the U.N. Pacific Carrier Task Group Carrier USS Over the Rainbow. He had immediately found a strong attraction for her outgoing, exuberant outlook on life. Even after he had gotten to know her and her seeming dislike for almost anyone her own age, he found the attraction there. Even though she seemed to hate him, constantly belittled and berated him, and consider him her enemy at worst, and her direct competitor at best.
He couldn't help it, especially now. Now that she was so vulnerable… So alone... So much… So much like me… he thought, shocked at the revelation he had just come to. He hated to see her this way. He didn't know how to help her, though. So he did the only thing he thought he could do. He spoke to her, even though she probably could not hear him... Even though she would probably hate him for it… He had to try, though. He had heard that sometimes, the person in coma could hear the outside world, even if they couldn't respond; and how sometimes, it brought them out of their coma. He didn't know what to say to her, so he decided to just talk about the most recent things, as they came into his head.
"I..." he started, swallowing lightly, "I'm scared of both Misato and Ayanami..." He paused then, thinking. He had to come up with another train of thought then to remind her of the two women, and that she thought of him as a coward. He couldn't think of anything. He felt his desperation rising, feeling that he had let everyone that he cared for down. Because of this, he did the only thing that he could think of. "I, um, I met a girl today…" he said, not knowing why he was telling her. "She's… She's really nice. She's pretty, too. As pretty as you are... I don't know why I'm saying this, but I think I like her already, I mean... I think I like her a lot…" He looked at her, seeing no response. He thought about just stopping and staying with her for a while, but the gates to his heart had been opened, and he poured out what they had held back, hoping to see something from her.
"I read your note, the one to Misato, and I cleaned up your room. I hope you don't mind, but I know why you got so angry with me now. I'm sorry that I looked through your room. I… I know that you hate it when I apologize, but I don't know what else to do. I know you meant that note for Misato, but…" he closed his eyes for a moment, and sighed, opening them again to look at her. "Why couldn't you have said anything, about how you felt? Why did you think you had to die? You didn't do anything wrong, Asuka… This is so hard to say…" he felt tears forming, but blinked them back. "I mean, I know you said that you like me, and I… I like you, I've always wondered, since we met, what it would be like, to be with you, I mean… As girlfriend and boyfriend... But now…"
Shinji paused, and looked around, at the clean, sterile environment Asuka was sleeping in, as if searching for an answer to some unvoiced question. After a moment of looking at the monitoring equipment, wondering if he could continue, he decided that he should, to let his feelings out, if nothing else. Besides, it looks like the security cameras and such are off, so I don't have to worry about anyone but Asuka hearing what I'm saying to her... He sighed, and went on, an apologetic tone in his voice. "I, um… I really hope that you will forgive me, but this girl I met, she's so…" he brought his hands up, not knowing how to describe his feelings. "I don't know… She's intoxicating… I've only just met her, and I want to be near her again, to look at her and into her eyes. She makes me feel... Whole, I guess... When I'm near her, I... I can't make myself feel like I'm a scum, or a coward, or anything like that… She makes me feel…" He thought over what he'd just said to Asuka, and felt shock at his own feelings. "I don't know what this means. Does this mean I feel love for someone I've just met? I don't know, I've never felt that kind of love, not really… Not even with you... I wanted to, but you never opened up to me..." He thought for a moment about what he had stated and smiled slightly, a small, nearly defeated smile. "And I never really asked you to, either. Never gave you reason to open up. I'm sorry for that Asuka, I truly am. Am I already in love with her? God, that sounds so… I don't know, pitiful, I guess." He laughed lightly as a thought crossed his mind about how he felt Asuka would react. "A girl shows that she likes me, and I fall in love with her, I bet you'd call me stupid for that, wouldn't you?" Yet still she did not respond to him. He felt lost, not knowing what do to. He looked at her, laying with her back to him, and a wave of uncertainty washed over him, bringing a crushing fear with it.
"Please, Asuka... Help me..." he pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes; he did not blink them away, yet the tears did not seem able to fall. "Help me, Asuka, I don't know what to do!" The tone in his voice was lonely, so very lonely, the sound wrenching enough that if one were to listen, it would break that person's heart.
He reached out hesitantly, tentatively grasping her by the shoulder, and shaking her lightly, "Hey..." he said a little sharply, shaking her a little bit harder, "Wake up! Come on... Wake up!" As his speech sharpened, it got a little bit louder, and a little bit more desperate, "Come on... Hey... Asuka... Asuka... ASUKA!" the last echoed in the small room, but could barely be heard out in the hall, thanks to the sound proofed door of the room. "Help me. Help me. Help me..." a single tear rolled down his cheek, as the girl lay there limply, his shaking seeming to have no effect. "Help me... HELP ME!" his voice became more desperate, rising as he continued to shake her, lifting her from the bed now, trying to get some kind, any kind, of response. "Call me an idiot like you usually do! Hit me! ANYTHING!" he finally screamed, pulling her up and turning her face to his, looking for any kind of response. "HEY! ASUKA, WAKE UP!" he shrieked, not caring who heard outside of the room.
Seeing no response coming, he shoved her back onto the bed, his force almost brutal. As she fell to her bed, some of the the electrocardiograph wires attached to her chest were yanked free. The ones that remained attached pulled the unbuttoned hospital gown she wore open, revealing that she wore only panties underneath it. As he looked on in shock, and growing arousal, a small part of Shinji's mind observed her mode of dress with almost clinical amusement. Misato must have ordered that she was to at least have her lower half covered… No reason to let some intern get off looking at all of her now, is there? he thought, trying to suppress his growing arousal. I don't see doctors considering her being clothed in more than the gown being that important. She has no need for them now, after all! A brief, ugly smile came to his face, as his thoughts wandered slightly. I wonder if Kieko looks that good in just her panties? Although he knew the thoughts about Asuka and Keiko were his, he had a hard time believing that they came from him. That sounds like something my father would say... This thought almost brought him to a halt, to hate himself for his current feelings.
He continued to look at her, though, scanning what the open gown showed of her, from her upper legs to her beautiful face. This brought the ugly thoughts back to him, and he thought of the two pilots, the two young women that he knew he cared greatly for; and of the young nurse he had just met, whom he already felt a connection with that he could not explain. His thoughts, though, centered on the beautiful, almost nude young woman in front of him, and he felt himself becoming even more aroused at the sight of her, so open and vulnerable, in front of him. Even as part of his mind screamed at him to stop, he found that he could not stop himself from thinking of her that way.
Although Asuka was only fourteen, she had grown almost entirely to her maturity. Her body was attractive, with little extraneous fat; she was very athletic, with a taut, smooth musculature. If you had asked someone that didn't know her, they would have thought her to be much older. In his mental state, his mind considered all of these facts, and he soon realized that he was walking towards the door to her room. It wasn't as if the thoughts crossing his mind were alien to him, it was just the situation. The section of his mind that drove him towards her door considered many of the fantasies that he had had of Asuka. They paled in comparison to what he saw now. She was magnificent. He locked the door, his arousal making him harden. He turned, reaching down, even as his self-disgust at doing what he was contemplating made the gorge rise in his throat.
Don't do this! he screamed to himself, don't soil her image like this! What would the Kieko, or even Rei, think of me being like this? This isn't me, oh God, this isn't me, oh please don't let me do this! He shuddered as he looked back upon her. I don't want to do this, she's not even awake! Don't do this, now while she's like this, please let me stop! It just as well be rape, like the angel did to her… His inner voice was getting weaker and weaker as he continued to look at her body. He actually did want to stop; but he found that his arousal could not be denied. As he drank in the way her hip curved smoothly into her belly, then to her full, round breasts, his hands went to his zipper, preparing to undo his pants. I'm scum… I'm no better than my father! he cursed himself in disgust. Then he felt something. He felt a cold, chilling presence pass through him. He felt as if the cold had struck all the way to his soul, but somehow, the cold was comforting.
As he looked around the room, his arousal was quickly forgotten. A memory occurred to him then, of something Asuka had said on the anniversary of his mother's death. She had dared him to kiss her, then, when he hesitated, she had said, "What's the matter? Afraid to kiss a girl on the day of your mommy's death? Are you afraid that she's looking down on you from heaven?" As he looked around the room, he could not help but feel like he was being watched. This feeling was nothing like his mother, however. He did remember vaguely what she had been like. Her touch had been warm and loving, the comforting, soothing touch of a mother. This feeling was… Cold… So cold; and so very distant… In a strange way, though, it was far more soothing than even the memories of his mother's touch, and this frightened him.
His gaze finally settled back on Asuka. For a moment he didn't notice anything different. As he looked up to her face, however, he saw something. Standing about two meters from the head of Asuka's bed was a cloaked figure, vaguely female in shape, and not too much taller than Asuka would be were she standing in the same place. The cowled head seemed to be looking at Asuka's face, the person standing in a relaxed, almost serene manner. His first instinct was to run. He did not want to, however. He did not want to leave the girl on the bed alone at that point, not with this stranger that had somehow entered a locked room. He had failed to protect her when she needed it against the fourteenth angel, he would die before failing to do so again. And what if the creature went after Keiko? The thought of loosing the woman before he had even had a chance to get to know her hurt far too much to not at least try to protect her from possible harm.
Shinji stood in place, a part of him still ready to run, as the cloaked figure moved its cowl to face him. The cowl was too dark to see any real detail within, even in the well lit room. When the face was fully towards him, he saw a brief flash, and then two blue points of light appeared, expanding and taking on a shape similar to a person's eyes, which seemed to stare at him. The light from the eyes was dim, yet he could see that the face was covered by some kind of cloth, a strange cross between a mask and a veil. The person spoke, vocally confirming that it was a woman, a young sounding woman at that. The voice was soft, somewhat distant, and soothing, holding within it a tone of humor. The voice sounded somehow very familiar to him, but he could not place it in his adrenaline charged state. "Good morning, Shinji-kun." As she spoke, she took a few short steps closer to the bed, positioning herself across from Shinji. When she moved, the cloak to billowed out, revealing a suit made of similar material to the veil also covering the body, the curves of her body reminding Shinji briefly of someone. The cloak settled back around her before he could place the familiarity, however. The woman's eyes considered him, and he felt almost as if she were looking at his very soul. The feeling was very unnerving, and Shinji felt panic trying to rise within. Shinji looked down, and closed his eyes for a moment, to calm himself.
I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away! he shouted internally, the mantra actually helping him feel motivated to stay this time, not to feel as if he had no choice but to stay, as it had sometimes made him feel in the past. She... She may be harmless, but she might hurt them as well… She may take them away from me! He opened his eyes, facing the floor, his eyes hardening in a resolve he didn't even think possible from himself. "No!" he whispered, as if to himself, his voice surprisingly calm. "No, I'm tired of running…" He slowly lifted his face, raising his eyes to look into the eyes of the figure. "I mustn't... No! I will not run again." He faced what he thought could be his destiny, not knowing what came next, but finally, after so many times making the wrong choice, he felt as if he were making the right decision. As he looked at her, the woman's face bent down to consider Asuka. After a brief moment, the woman standing across the bed from him reached towards Asuka, her hands and arms covered by the same gossamer material as her face had been. "Don't hurt her...!" he said, his voice rising in alarm, and he moved as if to intercept the woman's hands, to protect Asuka.
The woman drew her hands back slightly, and looked upon him, her eyes crinkled as if with a warm smile, and spoke, in a tone that belied the distant tone he had heard in her voice just a moment before. "A very commendable sentiment, Shinji-kun. Neither you, or Asuka, have anything to fear from me...." she assured him. Shinji eyed her warily, watching for any sign of hostility towards Asuka, as her gossamer shrouded hands reached out once again. They reached the open sides of Asuka's hospital gown and drew them back across her body, much to Shinji's embarrassment. He did not look away, however, still watching the woman, but feeling a little more acceptance to her presence. Then the woman drew the sheets of Asuka's bed back over the sleeping girl, tucking them in just under her chin.
"Momma...?" To Shinji's surprise, the single, questioning word came from the comatose form of Asuka. She had spoken as the woman was bringing her hands back from tucking Asuka in. The single word was filled with a desperate, longing grief, the sheer loss in the voice causing Shinji's eyes to well up with tears as it brought back memories, and the knowledge he now had of his mother.
"No, Asuka, I am not your mother, though your mother misses you as much as you do her..." The woman's voice was tender and caring, as if Asuka were indeed her child. The woman slowly bent over Asuka, kissing her lightly on the forehead, through the veil, then looked back up at Shinji, pulling the cowl of her cloak back as she did so. "I would like to speak to both yourself and Asuka, if it wouldn't be too much of an inconvenience..." Not knowing what else to do, Shinji nodded slightly, still suspicious, but willing to listen to what she had to say. He also stared at where the woman's face would be for a moment, trying to see any detail behind the gossamer-like material of the veil. That attempt became a rather moot as the being's eyes narrowed in humor as if to some private joke. "I do believe that you are correct, in your assessment..." she spoke contemplatively, as if she were speaking aloud for Shinji's benefit. "As it is a matter of trust, my child, I will do so..." Shinji looked at her suspiciously once again, about to speak, when the woman started to slide the veil up. As she did so, the light of her eyes faded, until the veil had passed over her forehead, and the eyes no longer glowed. She let the veil hang behind her shoulders with the cowl's hood.
His attention was immediately drawn to her eyes, and Shinji felt his heart sink. He knew those eyes, and the face that the eyes were set in. He screwed his eyes shut, his right hand clenching into a tight fist. He did not want to believe what he saw, hoping vainly that his eyes lied to him. It can't be! he screamed to himself. Now he knew why the voice had sounded so familiar. Shinji wanted to run, to get away from what part of him wanted to believe was a mere hallucination, yet he stood firm, forcing himself to stand in place. He open his eyes convulsively, looking at the woman before him, and a slight chill of fear ran along his spine as his eyes met hers again. I will not run, he said to himself, reinforcing his earlier statements, the conviction he felt surprising him, I will never run again!
