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italics : Indicate thoughts.

] [ : Indicates radio transmissions.

Aberrant Impact

Chapter 7

Tokyo 3, 2015; 10:42 A.M. NERV Central Hospital Intensive Care Ward, East Wing, Section Four.

Rei Ayanami walked along a corridor that was very familiar to her. She had traveled this corridor many times, usually because she had been wounded, though not always. A few times, it had been to visit Shinji when he had been wounded. The first time she had come here to see Shinji was to give him orders. The other times had been of her own accord, to check on his healing process. While Rei thought of Shinji, she smiled a small version of the private smile she had shared with very few people. I didn't know why I visited you then, Shinji, at least not completely. I knew that I went to check on the progress of your recovery, yet there was more to it than that simple logic. I wanted to see you, to make sure with my own eyes that you were healing. That frightened me a great deal at the time, though I was always comforted when you recovered. I have a better understanding of why now, I know that I was... Worried about you, and wished to be near you...

Rei was dressed in a new school uniform, and one that did not look rumpled as the one she had slept in had. She fidgeted at her uniform slightly, as if not comfortable wearing it outside of school. Rei had let her short, sky blue hair hang straight after combing it out, causing her hair clump into narrow locks. The way her hair naturally fell was quite attractive, and drew one's attention to her mysterious crimson eyes and the beautiful, finely chiseled features of her face.

Her destination was Room 303 of the First Cranial Nerve Department. However, she planned to stop at the nursing station she was approaching to ask what room Asuka was in. That is not to say that Rei was ignorant of the way to Asuka's room. Asuka's room was one room down from where Rei had been monitored for a time after her rebirth into this body. Normally, she would have merely ascended in one of the elevators she had already passed, and gone to Asuka's room directly. Today, however, she felt a nearly overwhelming, and quite irrational need to break away from old habits such as that. It seemed more appropriate, on an instinctual level, for her to ask where Asuka's room was, especially since before that morning she had no knowledge of what room the comatose young woman was in. Rei looked at a clock as she passed it by, noticing that she had taken a little bit longer than she had thought she would to make it to NERV Central Hospital.

This did not bother the normally punctual girl as much as it would have in the past. The main reason she had taken the extra time in her journey was her contemplations of her memories and the feelings from her past, and on what she would do now. My emotions are now connected to memories, Rei thought, And though my will over them is as stronger than it ever was, I have more desire to release the emotions... I do not understand this... Rei's eyes narrowed slightly as she contemplated this, her smile disappearing. She thought of the first night after her rebirth. She had gone home after speaking with Shinji, and had seen Gendou Ikari's glasses. Inexplicably she had started to cry uncontrollably. Now she knew the reason behind the tears, and the emotions were even stronger for her than they had been when she had first arrived at her home. Not just those emotions were amplified, however. All of her emotions had been amplified so. Even so, she was filled with a strange thoroughness to her understanding for her emotions, one that she had not possessed before. Nor could she explain how she had such a thoroughness of understanding of her emotions.

Is this another of your gifts, Evanna? Rei asked, concentrating slightly so that her last few thoughts went out to the mysterious woman. Why do you want me so free about my emotions? Is it necessary for my role in the coming events, to have more understanding than that of my second self? Or do you merely wish me to know myself as someone with a more "normal" upbringing would?

Rei felt a feeling of reassurance come over the connection with Evanna. You will understand soon after joining Shinji, Asuka and myself in Asuka's room, my child.

Rei accepted this answer, deciding that she could wait, as the time was not far from now. She sent a sense of apology over her connection to Evanna, her thought voice slightly chagrined. I apologize at taking longer than I had predicted she would. I was looking at the sight of my... The place I died to save Shinji...

Rei was answered by an amused and understanding sensation from Evanna. It is actually fortuitous that you were delayed slightly, my child. It has given Shinji a chance to find Asuka, and speak to her. Rei smiled slightly, sending a feeling of thanks to Evanna before drawing back from the connection. Then her smile faded as she thought back to what had caused the delay in her arrival at the hospital. As she thought back to the reason for her delay, she felt tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Why is it that tears haunt me today? While she had walked towards the hospital, Rei had stopped and looked out over the lake caused by the detonation of her Unit-00's core, shedding tears in a strange mixture of joyful release and saddened contemplation, yet not the cleansing that she had hoped for. Rei had been happy that she had saved Shinji with her selfless act, and that no one else except for her had died in the conflagration. However, she had also felt saddened, almost grief stricken, because she knew what that had led to.

You began to reject my presence. I believe it was because I had lost my memories of you, and the emotions connected to the memories. Was it also because I called myself the third, implying to you that the Rei you knew had died? Soon after my awakening, Dr. Akagi took you and Major Katsuragi to the lower areas of the Command Center, into Terminal Dogma. She revealed the failed Evas, to you, and told you what I am. She sighed almost imperceptibly, her expression revealing a small fraction of the emotional pain she was feeling. That much the Commander told me... Since then, however, I have lost the feeling of my other selves at the edge of my consciousness. I wonder, did Dr. Akagi destroy them? Is that why the Commander imprisoned her? No... That sort of action would most likely have resulted in her death as punishment. Selee is not known for being very forgiving... You were there, Shinji... I will have to ask you, if you are able to speak of it.

Rei slowed her pace slightly so she could clear her thoughts a bit more before reaching the nursing station. After what she showed you, you have avoided me. That had hurt, because even directly after my rebirth, I still had emotions for you, Shinji. Most especially when I was near you, though I didn't understand them. I cared for you a great deal, Shinji... Rei had as yet failed to notice that she had stopped using the honorific she normally addressed Shinji with, even when thought of him. Rei stopped walking, forcing the tears back, and turn to look out of the window, not a meter from where Shinji had stared out into the Geofront earlier that morning. She gazed out at the busy workers rebuilding the Geofront. I... I think I loved you, Shinji... No, now that I do understand the emotions, I know that I did. I believe that I still do, yet... I don't know what to do, Shinji. Rei closed her eyes on the scene outside for a moment, and whispered, "I... I don't know what to do... Will you help me...? Will you help me in understanding what to do?"

A moment later, she opened her eyes, and as she looked out, she raised a hand, placing it against the window at shoulder level. Her gaze trained to where she had tried to use a N2 mine to stop Zeurel, and failed. She had almost died then, as he had sent one of his monomolecular arms through the head of Unit-00, narrowly missing where she had sat in her entry plug. Both Asuka and herself had failed to stop the angel, and had forced Shinji to come back to fight in Unit-01. Rei felt that she had once again failed to protect him. Sadness surged within her at this, threatening to cause her to break down.

Reluctantly, Rei clamped her will over her emotions. As much as she wanted to release her emotions, she knew that this was not the time. I will have time later. When I-... "When I'm alone..." she whispered, a single tear sliding down her face. She quickly wiped it away, mild annoyance on her face. Once again, Rei thought back to the battle with the sixteenth angel, her facial expression unreadable, tears welling up in her eyes in spite of her will, though they did not fall. You lived, and no one died with me. I should be happy about that. When Armisael was trying to take you, I was forced by him to look at myself, and how I felt being alone. He offered me a chance to be one with him, to never have to be alone again.

Rei leaned her head against the window lightly, sighing as she remembered the angel's offer. I was tempted, yet I realized that the angel was not who I wished to be with. When I finally realized the person that I wished to become one with was you, Shinji, I... When I realized that, the decision to sacrifice myself to save you was easy. If it meant defying Commander Ikari, and even my own mission, the mission which I was created for, so long as you lived... The tears that had welled up a moment earlier started to fall. Rei leaned back from the window, and reached up with both hands, wiping them away, angry at both the tears and the totality of her sadness at that moment. Now I... I wish I had let you know... How I felt about you. How I still feel about you...

Rei brought her hands down from her face, forcing calm into her being, though the sadness within her still fought to be released. I said I would have no regrets. She focused her attention from the Geofront to her own reflection. The past is unalterable. I do not know how, but I know that I cannot have you Shinji. And yet, it hurts, almost physically, to know that I can never become one with you. Rei closed her eyes and drew in a breath, then released is softly, her sadness leaving grudgingly as she did so. But perhaps, with my new understanding of my emotions, I can be a friend to you... She smiled softly at her reflection, pleased at the path her feelings for Shinji were now following. Rei still felt a pang of regret, yet it was not as intense as it had been. "I do have regrets..." she admitted, her voice slightly above a whisper, "But so long as you are happy, Shinji, I can let the regrets fade away, and try to find that happiness for myself. To be your friend, and to find happiness for myself. This would be... Agreeable..."

Rei turned back to the hallway, and continued on her way towards the nursing station. As she did so, a startling realization came to the surface of her mind. I'm already changing... I knew with the return of my memories and emotions I would change, yet to do so in such a quick manner... Rei contemplated for a moment, trying to decide how she felt about the suddenness of the change. I don't think I mind it, really.

As Rei approached the nursing station, she schooled her face towards a neutral expression, though it was not her former emotionless mask. Rei thought back to earlier that morning, after she had finished her shower. She had wiped off the mirror, and gasped in shock at how dead she had looked. Was I always like that, when controlling my emotions? She remembered how she used to feel about interpersonal contact, and her cool aloofness towards other people, and shook her head lightly in self-directed exasperation. I was, and that is why so few people ever tried to approach me, let alone befriend me... That must have also been a large part of why Pilo-... Why Sohryu called me a doll. I will have to attempt to close the rift I unintentionally created with her.

Rei stepped up to the nursing station, and the blonde haired nurse behind the counter turned towards her, a pleasant smile on her face. The nurse recognized Rei immediately, and she did not seem distressed by Rei's appearance. "How can I help you, Pilot Ayanami?"

Rei smiled slightly, her smile pleasant, but her overall expression was a little crestfallen from her most recent thoughts. She felt herself tense slightly as she prepared to speak, as she was worried about how people would react to the change in demeanor that she had noticed earlier. "I would like to visit Pilot Sohryu. However, I don't know what room she is in."

"That would make it two visitors for her this morning." the nurse said, looking at a hardcopy list on a clipboard. "According to the guest list, Pilot Ikari came in to visit her earlier today, and is still here. Asuka is in room 303 of the Cranial Nerve Department..." There was a tone in her voice that Rei couldn't exactly place, other than the fact that it contained mild curiosity. The nurse looked back to Rei, her expression unreadable. "It's good to see you in better condition than the last time you were here, Pilot Ayanami. After your Evangelion exploded, some of us were worried that we had lost one of our protectors... And when you came back to consciousness..." She let the thought trail off, and Rei knew that she did not need to illuminate further. She had changed noticeably after her sacrifice, so much so that even people such as the nurse, who rarely saw her, were able to notice the change.

Rei's smile widened slightly as she understood that the nurse was curious about her sudden change of demeanor. "Yes... Actually, I believe that I am better than I have ever been. After the explosion, I was..." Rei paused as she sought a way to explain things without revealing too much. "I was thrust into a dilemma about my own mortality, you might say..."

"Well, I can understand that, considering how close you pilots have came to death so many times..." The nurse nodded in understanding, smiling at Rei's statement, a light undertone of ironic humor in her voice as she continued. "Though I doubt I could in the same manner as you... After all, you're fighting directly with those monsters and I'm stuck cowering in a shelter!" The nurse laughed lightly at this statement, drawing a very small chuckle from Rei.

Rei relaxed as the nurse spoke, happy at the ease with which she was speaking with the nearly complete stranger. She had seen the nurse before, of course, but had never interacted directly with her. "Yes, that would change one's perspective... In a way, though, you are braver than we are, those of you that are not pilots..." At the nurse's quizzical expression, Rei continued, "You stay here, providing support, and in your case, healing, with the shelters as your protection.."

"Well," the nurse said, her smile turning embarrassed, "We all do our part..."

"Indeed." Rei said simply, as she allowed a small look of curiosity to cross her face, and spoke to the nurse again. "You mentioned that Pilot Ikari was visiting her as well... How long has Shinji been here?"

Unknown to either of the two at the nursing station, another person was standing just out of sight around the side of the nursing station, opposite of Rei. Kieko Yamada had been about to emerge from the hallway, but stopped as she heard Rei's soft voice mentioning Shinji. Against her better judgment, she decided to wait and listen to the conversation, to find out why that beautiful young woman was curious about Shinji. What are you doing, Kieko? she asked herself condescendingly. Don't think for a moment that you have something to be jealous about from her...

"Let me check..." the nurse looked at the clock, then consulted the guest list, the barest hint of irony in her smile as she caught the use of Shinji's first name by Rei. "He has been here since a little bit before eight thirty this morning." The nurse smiled an apologetically to Rei, and added, "The two of you will have to leave for a little bit around eleven thirty, though. Asuka is scheduled for an exam at that time."

"That is alright," Rei said, her voice calm, but somewhat embarrassed, a slight blush forming on her cheeks. "I have something rather important to discuss with Shinji."

"Indeed?" The nurse asked simply, her smile widening a little, here eyes showing with an almost lewd gleam as she noticed Rei's blush. Rei's blush deepened a little at the implication in the smile, and covered more of her face.

Rei responded, her voice still calm, though holding a more noticeable amount of embarrassment. "Yes. We will probably be gone before the examination, so that is not a problem."

"Really. I'm sure the nurses over there will appreciate it, considering that they have to be out of work early." The nurse Rei was speaking to leaned forward slightly, her voice dropping, her tone becoming quiet, as if asking for about a secret. "Can I ask you something?" Rei noticed that the gleam in her eyes was still there, but it was subdued slightly by honest curiosity. She nodded after a moment of thought, deeming that if the question was too personal, or too classified, she could decline to answer. "I know that this isn't a completely proper question, but, well, even though he's young, Pilot Ikari is quite handsome, and I have always wondered if any of you pilots have dated?"

Marisa, I'm going to strangle you! Was the first thought that crossed Kieko's mind. In fact, she barely stopped herself from walking around the corner and doing just that. Calm down, Kieko, it's not like she knows... But, oh, if you don't stop soon, Marisa... Kieko leaned against the wall for a moment, trying to calm herself, then brought her attention back to listening as she heard Ayanami's voice again

Rei blushed furiously at the sudden, blunt innocence of the question, the blush going below the line of her uniform collar, and moving above the line of her scalp. Before, even with her second existence, she would have been confused by the question at best, completely ignorant of the reasons for the question at worst. Not now however. Had she been expecting the question, or perhaps if she had not recently been mulling over her feelings for Shinji, perhaps she would not have been caught so off guard. When Rei answered, her voice was full of embarrassed consternation, but also humor at both her reaction and the situation in general.

"No, ahm..." She took a deep breath, regaining her composure, the blush receding slowly. "Neither Asuka or myself have dated Shinji. Not that it hasn't been a possibility..." What am I saying? Rei thought, her last statement shocking her quite profoundly. Was it ever a possibility? I am not sure... Rei felt her embarrassment rising again, and barely forced her emotions down before another blush started. She decided to continue by changing subjects slightly, "In fact, neither of us have been on a date with either of the male pilots... Though Suzuhara-san and one of our classmates became very close after..." Rei's voice trailed off, and the nurse nodded in understanding, as she remembered the girl who had come to visit the Fourth Child nearly every day after the tragic events surrounding the thirteenth angel.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, Pilot Ayanami. And I believe you're right, about Pilot Suzuhara and Hikari. I spoke to her on a several occasions when she was down about what happened to Suzuhara, before they moved him and most of the civilians to Tokyo-2. They seemed quite close...." Her tone was sincere, and a little bit somber mentioning Toji and Hikari.

Marisa, shut the hell up and let her go to Sohryu's room, dammit! Kieko shouted mentally. She drew a quiet, calming breath, and walked around the corner, into the nursing station, acting as if nothing were amiss. "I'm starting my second rounds, Marisa, and Hikaru should be down for her paperwork any minute." she glanced towards Rei, nodding towards the girl. "Good morning, Pilot Ayanami."

"Nurse Yamada." Rei answered simply, her voice pleasant, and returned Kieko's nod with a nod that was more of a bow with just her head. It was a ritual that the two had shared since about a week after Rei's first synchronization test had hospitalized her. Rei thought about that for a moment, remembering her reaction of confusion and, strangely, gratitude. It was strange to her now, as she thought back, that she had felt gratitude, when she took into account how she had felt about her own life at the time. Rei had been sleeping, and had just come out of her coma. She had suffered one of her rare nightmares a terrible one that had caused her to rip the bandages along her back loose. Since the bandages had been soaked in dried blood, the stitches underneath had been essentially glued to the bandages, and had also come loose. The way she had been covered to keep warm, however, had hidden the blood loss. She would have died had Kieko not been in the room checking on her status, and decided to check on her EKG connections. When she had removed the blankets covering Rei, she had noticed the large quantity of blood soaking the sheets directly around the young woman. It was only through Kieko's quick actions in calling the doctor on duty so he could repair her stitches, and administering blood that had allowed Rei to live.

Rei was about to depart when she noticed something just visible above the neckline of Marisa's uniform. She felt an almost uncontrollable urge to comment on it as she realized that the mark was a hickey. Why do I feel such a strong need to comment on that? Is it not a good thing that she had found someone to be that comfortable with? Her own question was answered by the memory of the nurse's question about Shinji, and it was settled within her about what she would do.

Not that she wanted to torment the young woman about the mark, but the urge was on the verge of being uncontrollable. She was actually concerned about how she knew what the mark was. Not to mention the fact that she had never had much interest in that side of male-female interactions. At least, not before Evanna returned my memories. Why, and how, do I know these things? And why am I feeling so free with her emotions? Her thoughts were almost angry, as she asked the questions that Evanna said would be answered soon.

She cast the thoughts aside as a small, mischievous smile threatened to beam through her facial control, though it did show in her eyes. As she looked a little closer, she noticed that there was another mark, just a little bit down and in towards Marisa's breasts. Rei quickly glanced at the badge on the nurse's left breast, getting her last name. Rei spoke softly, just loud enough for the three at the nursing station to hear.

"Ah, Nurse McMillan?" as Marissa glanced over from Kieko, Rei brought her left hand up, indicating where the mark was on the woman's neck, and pointing along the direction of the hickeys. "I believe marks like that should be kept a little more discreet..." Rei held her voice deadpan. She was rewarded with two reactions. First, both nurses at the nursing station dropped their mouths open in mild shock that she had made the joke. Then Kieko put a hand to her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. A blush at least as deep as Rei's earlier blush had been spread over Marisa's face and neck. When Rei smiled a small, humor filled smile, and laughed very softly, Marisa started to stammer an attempt to minimize the effect Rei's simple statement had on her. Soon enough, she began to laugh a bit self-consciously, making sure her collar was in place to hide the marks her boyfriend had made earlier that morning.

"Well, uhm... What can I say? My fiancé was happy when I said yes..." She blushed a little bit deeper, her left thumb fondling the ring on her ring finger. "In fact, I'm about as happy as Hikari seemed to be with Suzuhara... I wish everyone could feel that way..."

"Congratulations on your engagement." Rei's smile widened, and her eyes softened into a look of profound happiness. "I wish you the best of luck with him. I only hope that I can find that kind of happiness with someone, in time..." Rei's let her smile fade slightly, a generally content look taking to her face. "I really shouldn't take anymore of your time, though. Have a pleasant morning, Nurse McMillan," she turned her head and nodded to Kieko, "Nurse Yamada." With that, she left, heading towards Asuka's room a slight spring in her step.

"Oh, my god, I didn't expect anything like that from her!" Marisa exclaimed after Rei was safely out of earshot, her tone approving and disgruntled about what had happened. There was still a slight blush to her face, but it was fading at a steady pace. "I guess everyone's starting to come out of their shell since everything has calmed down." When no response came from Kieko, she looked over, seeing that Kieko had stopped laughing, and was in fact looking quite vacant, as she stared off into space at the spot Rei had occupied just a moment before. "Um, Kieko? Kieko!" She waved her hand in front of Kieko's face for a moment before getting a response. It was the last response she had been expecting. Kieko's eyes glazed over with the first hint of tears, and she flinched as if slapped. "Hey! Are you alright?" Marisa asked sharply.

"I, I'm fine, Marisa..." Kieko protested weakly, her protest sounding hollow even to her own ears.

"Bullshit! I know that there's something bugging the hell out of you, Kieko! I'm your friend, and I know you well enough to tell that!" Marisa's voice was almost cold, and came across much sharper than she had intended, but it did hold compassion for her friend. She hoped that it would be enough to help her friend open up and talk about it.

Kieko looked down to the floor between her feet, and closed her eyes, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath. She was scared, about many things at that moment. Not the least of which was the fact that she had to talk to someone about what was bothering her. She opened her eyes, looking into Marisa's eyes. "I... Um, Marisa, earlier when you said you'd listen if I needed to talk?" at Marissa's nod, she continued, the fear in her eyes and voice rising slightly as she did so. "I... There's something I really need to talk about, and soon. I'd like to talk to you about it, if you'd be willing..."

Marisa smiled despite how heavily the emotions of the moment were weighing against both women. "Of course, I'll listen. When would you like to talk?"

"Before our lunch break... I'll go talk to the head nurse if you'd like me to, but I have to talk about this before then... OK?" Her voice was serious, and almost pleading as she looked at her friend.

Marisa smiled, nodding at the younger woman before commenting herself. "I'll talk to the head nurse, Kieko, I'm almost done with morning rounds anyway. You get to your rounds, OK?"

"OK..." Kieko responded in a small voice. She sighed, raising her voice to be more easily heard by her friend. "Thanks, Marisa. It, ah, it means a lot..."

"Anytime, Kieko..." Marisa watched as her friend looked to the spot that Rei had been standing in, then looked down the hall Rei had gone down. As Kieko walked away, Marisa sighed softly, and hoped her friend would tell her what was bothering her.

Elsewhere, Somewhen. Asuka Langley Sohryu's Mindscape.

Shinji Ikari slowly swam back to the realm of consciousness. He felt as if he had been unconscious for some time, though he doubted that it had been more than a half-hour. He felt around with his hands, since he could not see, even though his eyes were open. He felt a hard, unyielding surface beneath him, and pushed himself into a sitting position. He looked around, the field of blackness around him causing a mixture of fear and anger to well up within him. He was about to call out to Evanna when patterns of light once again erupted around him, reminding him disturbingly of the visual display inside of an Eva as it ran through it's start up cycle.

What is this? he asked, his fear subsiding, but his anger remaining, now enhanced by annoyance due to his lack of knowledge. He was still surrounded by darkness, but now he could see light before him, at perhaps one hundred meters distance. Slowly, he stood, and began walking towards the light. When he was at a distance of about ten meters from the source of light, it resolved itself from formless light into a form with a very distinct shape. He screamed involuntarily, as he was confronted by the life size visage of Unit-02, it's eyes glowing with an unearthly white light. The eyes narrowed as he screamed, in either amusement and annoyance, or possibly both. Either way, Shinji only knew that he was definitely intimidated.

"Who are you? How have you gained access to this place and why have you come here?" a voice intoned, female but demonic at the same time. To his surprise, it was not Asuka's voice. The giant machine bent over him, making its presence even more imposing.

He was about to answer, but was interrupted by the cool and somewhat amused voice of Evanna. "I believe you already know who Shinji is. I am Evanna, and I believe you already know who I am..." Shinji had not the slightest idea why Unit-02's visage was here, yet he was even more dumfounded when Evanna said that Unit-02 knew who she was. He calmed his wondering thoughts as Evanna continued, with only a slight pause for emphasis on her last statement. "We are here to speak with Asuka Langley Sohryu, and hopefully help her from her current state... If we, and the pilot of Unit-00 when she arrives, may have permission to do so." Shinji was shocked to realize that although she had spoken in German, and he had understood what was said. He felt a little nervous as the eyes of Unit-02 narrowed dangerously, and a soft, reverberating growl escaped from the depths of its immense form.

"You, I can trust... I even trust Ayanami enough to let her into this place..." At the pause in Unit-02's speaking, Shinji began to feel nervous. He felt the eyes of Unit-02 boring into him, as if to look into his soul. "Him, I don't know about. I don't believe it would be a very good idea to let him so close to her." The tone in her voice was both matter of fact, as well as holding the note of accusation, as if he had committed a crime of great magnitude against Asuka. "Asuka has extremely mixed feelings about him, and it may do more harm than..."

"You already know what she's seeing now, and what she has been seeing before, don't you?" Evanna asked, her tone even. At an affirmative, almost angry nod from Unit-02, Evanna continued. "She has been forced off of her prior mental track, as seeing that horrible incident is even more harmful than anything Shinji-kun could do, don't you agree? Besides, seeing her earlier life might-..." Evanna was interrupted as a frustrated, angry growl escaped from Unit-02, and it stood to it's full height, it's eyes now wide with rage.

"You had no right!" the giant intoned, hurting Shinji's ears with its volume, so that he was forced to cover his ears with his hands. Evanna merely stood still, as if the sound was of no consequence.

"She would have continued on like that until death, is that what you wanted?" Evanna asked simply, yet compassionately. With this simple logic presented in such a blunt manner, Unit-02 seemed to crumple into its self, falling apart and disintegrating into dust before their eyes. As Shinji stood transfixed, even horrified, by the sight. Shinji thought for a moment that he could make out a silhouette of a woman before the crumbling form of Unit-02 obscured her from view. "I'm sorry to have said that is such a manner, and for what I've put your..." Evanna paused for a span of heartbeats and glanced to Shinji before continuing. "For what I've put Asuka through, but it had to be done." As she spoke, a breeze blew across the field that they now stood in, stirring up the silt like remains of Unit-02.

Shinji caught the implication that Evanna had meant for him with that glance, that this was the soul trapped inside of Unit-02. From that, he presumed that meant this was, somehow, the soul of Asuka's mother, but he felt the need to know for sure, and spoke his mind before either of the women he was standing with could. "Are you Asuka's mother? Are you inside Unit-02 like my mother is?" His voice was slightly nervous, but even as he asked the question.

"Yes, I am Kyouko Zeppelin Sohryu, Asuka's mother," came the terse reply from within the rapidly dissipating cloud of dust that was once Unit-02's visage. The voice was unfamiliar to Shinji, as was the face of the plugsuited woman as she became visible. Even so, Shinji did notice a strong resemblance between the woman and Asuka, especially the woman's high cheekbones and graceful, almost delicate chin. "And yes, I am within Unit-02's core, though my situation is a bit more complicated than Yui's, Shinji-kun."

Kyouko directed her attention towards Evanna as soon as she'd answered Shinji's questions. As she did so, Shinji saw a familiar fire flare within Kyouko's eyes, one that Asuka had turned towards him on many occasions, causing him to smile internally. Well, now I know what side of the family the fiery part of Asuka's personality came from.

"As for what you did, don't you think I know that it's necessary? Don't you think I've been trying to do the same thing you've done?" Kyouko's voice cracked, her face a mask of anguish at her failure to reach her daughter. "I haven't been able to reach her! Since that damned angel defiled my girl's mind she's done nothing but replay the time when-..." As Kyouko stopped, her head whipped back towards Shinji, her eyes locking onto his so sharply that he flinched involuntarily. "Does he know about that?" she asked, her question being directed to Evanna.

"No, I don't believe Asuka ever told him, so at the most he knows that you are here, and thus, for all intents and purposes, dead." Evanna replied evenly, though some mild annoyance was evident in her tone at the sudden change of subject.

"What are you talking about, when you what?" Shinji asked sharper than intended. He was beginning to feel more than a little annoyed by his lack of knowledge and his being kept in the dark.

"I think it would be best if my daughter explained that." Kyouko said, after taking a breath to calm herself. Her voice became softer, and she looked down, pinching the bridge of her nose as if she had a headache. "That part of her life was the hardest for her to accept, and since she still hasn't, she might not be willing to talk about it, though she may to you, Shinji."

"Do you really think she would tell him that, Kyouko?" Evanna asked, as if such a thing would be nearly impossible. "She wouldn't even open up to you because of the pain it caused her..."

"You know as well as I how she feels about him, Evanna! If he asked Asuka, then yes, I think she would tell him, if for no other reason than because of how she feels for him..." interrupted Kyouko, her face clouded by a chaotic mix of emotions. "I've told you enough times when the three of us spoke." she paused, looking down for a moment, a somewhat guilty cast taking to her features. "At least before Asuka retreated so far within herself... "

"Yes, I understand that... Still, it is hard to believe she would open up like that. Even if she does, we may need your help to bring Asuka out of her coma... But if nothing else, she wouldn't be on the mental path that she was on, if he talks to her..." Evanna's voice was hopeful, yet almost pleading to Shinji's ears, as she spoke to Kyouko.

"You're sure that his presence will help her?" Kyouko asked, her eyes narrowed slightly with concern.

"I wouldn't hurt Asuka, at least not on purpose!" Shinji said sharply, his annoyance finally breaking, surprising himself with his own vehemence. Then he became slightly melancholy, his "Although, if what she wrote in her note to Misato is true, I may already be too late on that..."

"What do you mean?" Kyouko said sharply. At Shinji's shocked expression, Kyouko looked over to Evanna, her eyes narrowing further, in more of an angry manner. "Show me..." she said to Evanna, taking another deep breath to relax. "Please, show me, from when he first met her..."

Evanna hesitated, looking back and forth between Kyouko and Shinji uncertainly for a moment, before sighing and looking at Shinji apologetically. "Relax for a moment, Shinji-kun..." Shinji was about to protest, but was stalled by the pleading expression on Evanna's face. "Please, Shinji-kun, we will need her help to bring Asuka back..."

Shinji mulled this over for a moment before nodding wordlessly. Evanna came over to him, and placed her hands on both of his temples, causing him to become tense. "Relax, Shinji-kun, please, or it will cause you a great deal of pain." Slowly, he relaxed, and felt as if he were falling into a sleep once again, yet he did not completely loose consciousness. Soon after, he felt the nearby presence of Kyouko, and then felt dizzy as he saw memories of Asuka pass before his eyes. At the same moment, he felt a brief stab of pain, as if a day long headache had been forced onto him in the span of less than a second, then he felt the pain fade, as quickly as it came. He saw all of his memories of Asuka, felt all the emotions connected to the memories, all of his dreams and fantasies of her, up to just before he entered Asuka's hospital room that day. As Evanna stepped away from him, he felt an odd sensation, similar to the times when he had disengaged synchronization with Unit-01.

He fidgeted slightly he noticed that Kyouko was studying him closely. Well, thought Kyouko, analytically, he doesn't seem to want only sex, like most boys his age do... He has a very mature view on what kind of relationship he wants, both emotionally and physically. A bit introverted, but he seems to be overcoming that, so any relationship he is in shouldn't lead to dependency... He's caring, clean, he can even cook. If he wouldn't have met that nurse, I would have loved to have him dating my daughter. She smiled slightly at this thought, remembering her own past tribulations with love, and nodded as she made a decision. Ah well, love is fickle... As she thought this, a look of understanding, and something else, an odd mixture of both disapproval and approval at once, took to her face.

"Shinji, I will ask only one thing of you..." Kyouko whispered, her voice full of contrasting emotions, yet there was a hint of steel as strong as an Eva's armor underneath it. "Do this, and I will help you in any way I can..."

"What do you want me to do?" Shinji asked simply, somewhat nervous at the undercurrent of her voice.

"Be honest with Asuka, please? Tell her how you feel about her, let her know..." her voice faltered slightly, not sure whether to protect her daughter from the pain of what she was about to ask of Shinji, or to protect her from greater pain if she did not ask him. "Tell her about the nurse you met, Kieko, is her name if I-..."

Shinji smiled an open, yet slightly shy smile when he heard what she wanted fro him. He was so relieved that he interrupted her before she could finish her last statement. "I was already planning on telling her about how I feel, Mrs. Sohryu!" His exuberance took on a bit of melancholy as he remembered what Asuka had written in her note to Misato, and his tone was slightly subdued as he spoke. "Though if what she wrote in her letter to Misato was true, then I'll end up hurting her by telling her about Kieko..."

Kyouko smiled softly, heartened by Shinji's concern for her daughter. He cares so much... Why couldn't she see that sooner? she thought, then spoke aloud to him, "If you tell her how you feel, and you're honest with her, I believe she will accept it." Her tone was warm as she spoke of her daughter, drawing a smile from Shinji.

"It's settled then. Shinji, you will have to speak with Asuka alone for a time, I have some things to discuss with Kyouko. As soon as Rei is here, I will join the two of you, and shortly afterwards, as will Rei." Evanna had a slightly tense, but also slightly relieved smile on her face, as she turned to speak with Kyouko.

Shinji looked around, a bemused smile replacing his previous smile as he realized that he had no idea whatsoever as to where he had to go. He doubted very much that the layout of this place was in any way familiar to him. "Um... Where exactly do I have to go?"

Both Evanna and Kyouko stopped talking in mid sentence, a slight blush touching both of their faces. Kyouko spoke first, a laugh at the edge of her voice. "Just follow the light over there, Shinji," she replied, pointing to a dim, but beautifully colored light in the distance, that danced lightly, much like the Aurora Borealis. "You should find her soon enough."

Shinji's smile broadened, and he gave a small bow to the two women. "Thank you." he said simply, but with a very pleased tone to his voice. I know that I failed to help you before, Asuka. But now that I can, I promise that I'll do everything in my power to do so! With that thought in mind, he set off towards the wavering lights.

When Shinji was out of earshot, Evanna looked back to Kyouko. "Asuka will be heartbroken when she finds out." Evanna said without preamble, her voice was filled with a compassion and sorrow for Asuka.

"Yes, as will Rei. She doesn't know everything, of what has happened since the death of Tabris, does she?" Kyouko asked in return, her voice conveying the same emotions as Evanna's, as well as frustration at how events had unfolded.

Evanna shook her head negatively. "No, she doesn't know about Shinji's interest in Kieko." She smiled wryly, looking back to Kyouko for a moment. "When she finds out, she will be troubled... She has a great deal of respect for Nurse Yamada, as she usually calls her. Yamada saved Rei's life once..."

Kyouko nodded in understanding, her voice concerned as she spoke, "What will be harder for her, though, the fact that she loved Shinji, or that she is essentially his sis-...?"

"Both will be hard for her... Very hard, in fact, that's why I will present myself to Shinji and Asuka before Rei does. I am more worried about the fact that I have given her not only to her emotions and memories, but the understanding of those emotions, as well..." Evanna worried at her lip lightly for a moment, then released it before continuing. "Returning her memories and emotions I saw no problems with, but..."

"I understand, Evanna..." Kyouko said softly, her voice tinged with deep concern. "But we decided to do this when we last spoke, after Rei's second self died. I agree that we should be concerned about the negative possibilities of our actions." Kyouko sat down on a chair in the simple lounge that the two women were now in, followed shortly by Evanna. "Adjusting the psychological balance of anyone can be cause for concern, but especially with her... How well did it go?"

Evanna sighed heavily, leaning forward where she sat, resting her right elbow on her knee and her chin on her upturned palm, her eyes distant as she thought. "I was able to fully integrate her second existence's memories and psychological controls into her current psyche without incident... In fact, it seemed as if she welcomed and helped with that..." She sat back into the comfortable chair, resting her arms on the chair's arms. She looked out of a window that had appeared, peering onto a pleasant outdoor scene, one that seemed to have come from before Second Impact, as the leaves were the cacophony of reds, oranges, yellows and browns that autumn used to bring with it. The view calmed her, allowing her to think more clearly.

"I was able to remove the drive to join with Adam from the angel side of her id, and adjusted her superego as planned, giving a more normal balance between them, yet..." Evanna let the statement hang for a moment, until Kyouko shifted her position slightly. "With the knowledge that we infused within her psyche, as well as the instincts she already had, I just don't know how things will turn out. Don't forget where a large part of her instincts come from, Kyouko, and how much trouble Yui and yourself had readjusting that third of my psychological self..."

"Yes, Evanna, but we were delving into new territory..." Kyouko said, deep in contemplation, her gaze also taken in by the scene outside of the window. "We had no knowledge of what exactly to do, and we made some lucky educated guesses. With the knowledge we gained from helping you when you asked us to know more of humanity, and to become more a part of humanity. Combined with your knowledge of Rei's psyche, it should have been a relatively smooth procedure."

"Yes, but unlike her, I received all of Lilith's instincts, not to mention the desire I already had to join with Adam. The techniques used to clear my mind may be different than clearing her mind. There is the possibility that the adjustments will not take hold in the way we hope, or that the results will be severely skewed in an disagreeable manner..." Evanna glanced from the window for a moment, and smiled at Kyouko's sour expression. Not that she enjoyed causing discomfort to the woman, as they had become friends, but she was gratified that she had found a sticking point that even Kyouko was concerned with.

"Yes, Rei only received half of Lilith's DNA. However, it seems that she received more of the maternal and pairing instincts from Lilith's DNA." Kyouko looked over to Evanna, and was surprised to see a blush spreading across Evanna's pale face. "She is very protective of Shinji, and those very instincts are probably why she developed her feelings towards him despite her will or Commander Ikari's wishes otherwise. Where did the problem come in?"

"Rei's willpower is the only good thing to come out of her being raised by Commander Ikari!" Evanna said tartly, Commander Ikari's name sounding more like a curse. "As for a problem... I don't know, it's just that I'm worried about her. Her first few years of memories were not any that I needed to bother with. In fact, at that time, Commander Ikari was what could be considered a doting father to her, taking care of her and schooling her quite effectively. But a little after she turned seven, he started to indoctrinate a social shell around her, so she would close herself off from most people. Then he started to convince her that she was not only replaceable, but she was not even truly herself." Evanna's tone was angry when she said that, and dangerous.

Kyouko looked back to Evanna, who was now looking up at the ceiling and gripping the arms of the chair quite firmly. "Evanna, both Yui and I know what he did to Rei. Even Yui is angry with Gendou about that. And as unfortunate as her death was, it was actually for the best that it happened, as we couldn't have done this with Rei's second self. She was already starting to come out of her shell, and would have been quite against interference." Evanna nodded, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she thought of the way Rei had been manipulated, and Kyouko reached out with her right hand, clasping Evanna's left hand, the look on her face a mix of understanding, anger, and compassion. Kyouko did not like the way Commander Ikari had stripped Rei of her individuality and self worth any more than Evanna and wanted the other woman to understand that. "Now she should be able to be even more independent of his manipulations. Soon, hopefully, she will be more of a "normal" young woman, perhaps just a bit shy..." Kyouko thought for a moment, then added, "At least as normal as a young woman who was a pilot of a seventy plus meter bio-mechanical humanoid can be..."

Both women laughed briefly at that, and Evanna smiled apologetically, looking back to her friend before continuing. "When it comes to her instincts... Lilith's maternal instincts are laudable, but it's the pairing part of what I'm worried about!" Kyouko noticed that Evanna seemed to be in thought when she mentioned this. Evanna's blush intensified as she saw something only visible to her. "Don't forget that Lilith was a seductress. And her knowledge of the acts, all acts, of seduction, are there on an instinctual level." Kyouko nodded thoughtfully, understanding Evanna's concern now. She smiled reassuringly at Evanna, as the other woman finished her statement. "She has not just the intellectual knowledge of sex, but the physical knowledge of it, thanks to Lilith's genetic makeup."

Kyouko gave Evanna's hand one last squeeze, before standing, drawing Evanna into a sisterly hug. "I have faith in Rei, and I know that you do too. She'll be fine! It'll work out in the end, you'll see..." Both women laughed before Evanna pulled out of the hug, and stepped away from Kyouko.

"I presume you'll be watching for the best time to join us?" Her voice was more hopeful than it had been a moment before, and there was even a smile on her face as she stepped into the darkness now surrounding them.

"Yes... I'll be there, Evanna, count on it!" The two friends exchanged a smile before the darkness surrounded them, taking them to their destinations within the space they were in.

Shinji knew none of this. He had made his way over to the area the lights were in, and although the lights seemed far away, he was soon walking among them. The moment he passed the outer barrier of the lights, he felt a warm, welcoming embrace. He knew the area for dozens of meters was clear of obstructions, so he closed his eyes, letting the warmth of the embrace wash over him. As he walked on, though, he felt the embrace fade. He stopped and stood still, feeling that he was no longer standing among the swirling lights of the aurora, but in a building of some kind. Slowly, Shinji opened his eyes and lowered his arms...