Chapter 13 – The Egg is Laid at Last

At the Town Diner (of Doom!), Zim and Zia were enjoying a completely meat- free meal. The waiter had been a little confused when they had asked for the non-meat section, but he was trained to obey, so it was not a big issue.

As the couple ate, Zim ranted about Skool problems. "Then that…DIB…had the nerve to say….RRRR…in front of the whole class!!" he said angrily.

"And this was how long ago?" Zia asked.

"Oh, before you crashed here," he said quickly as if it didn't really matter.

"And you're still mad?"

"Well…" Zim said, "I actually forgot what he'd said…but it makes me mad anyway!!"

"Ok…" Zia said, confused.

Zim looked at her for a minute. "I'm sorry. It's just that…once I get started on the Dib-monkey, it's hard to stop. Sounds pretty superficial, huh?"

"A little," Zia said, reaching out and putting her hand over his, "You really shouldn't let him get to you like this."

"You're right, as usual," Zim said, "I should be concerned with other things anyway." He gave her a meaningful look and she smiled.

"I'm fine, really," she said.

Just then, the front door slammed open. GIR stood in the doorway, panting and looking panicked. He scanned the crowd quickly and spotted the Irkens. "Master!! Mistress!!" he cried, rushing over to them.

"GIR! What are you doing here??" Zim demanded, "And what happened to your arm…were you playing in the blender again??"

GIR shook his head frantically. "No! No! No!" he said and then began speaking a mile a minute, "We were watching TV and then there was a big noise and then the door went BOOM and then the bad lady came! Bad, bad lady! And then the roof went BOOM and APU was shooting at bad lady but bad lady shot him first and bad lady got stuck under the big thingy and then she shot my arm and then I ran and ran and ran and ran all the way here!!"

GIR panted as he finished his speech. The whole restaurant was silent, and everyone was staring at them.

Zim glanced around worriedly and then declared, "Under the table!!"

So they all ducked under the table, Zia with a little difficulty.

Zim looked at GIR. "I didn't catch a word of that. What happened??"

"Where's APU??" Zia asked worriedly.

"In my head," GIR said, tapping his forehead with his left hand. Then he opened his head and the projector came out. He played a fast-forwarded account of Shyra's entrance. Zim and Zia watched, wide-eyed.

As the projection ended and GIR closed the projector into his head, they heard the front door open again. They peaked under the table cloth and saw Shyra threatening the waiter with her blaster. The probe droid was not with her. The strain of lifting the detainment chamber off of her had left it worn out and in need of recharging. She had sent it unsteadily back to the Wraith Shadow.

"GIR!" Zim cried urgently, "Come here!" Abruptly, he grabbed GIR by the head and examined him. He found a metallic-looking beetle crawling around on the back of GIR's head. "Ah ha! A tracking bug! That's how she found us so quickly," he said.

"What now?" Zia asked, "The waiter won't stall her for much longer."

Zim closed his fingers around the bug. "GIR – you take Zia somewhere safe. Don't go back to the base – she'll expect that. I'll plant this bug on some unsuspecting stink-beast and then join you."

GIR's eyes went red and he saluted. "Yes, SIR!"

Zia turned to Zim, "You'll be careful, won't you?"

"Hey," Zim said, "It's me."

Zia rolled her eyes. Zim climbed up onto the table and began trying to pry the window open. When that didn't work, he grabbed a tray from a passing waiter and threw it through the window. It shattered, leaving nothing but the frame in the wall. "All right, GIR, let's go," he said, then hopped out the window.

GIR lifted Zia up with his remaining arm (amazing, yes?) and handed her down to Zim. Well, kind of tossed her really, but Zim broke her fall with his body. Then GIR climbed out the window and picked her up again.

Zim coughed and sputtered and stood up, dazed. He shook it off and said, "Go on! Hurry up! I'll be there in a minute."

"Okie-dokie!!" GIR said and ran off.

Zim watched them turn the corner and then heard Shyra scream with rage when she saw her prey had gotten away. He took off just as she poked her head out the broken window. She pulled out her tracking device and leapt out the window, dashing down the street after him.

* * *

At the Membrane household, Gaz was watching TV when there was a frantic knock at the front door. Annoyed, she called out, "Dib!! Get the door!!"

From out in the garage, Dib called back, "Get it yourself! I'm a little busy!"

Growling and swearing silent revenge on her brother, Gaz went to the front door and opened it. As soon as she had, GIR rushed in, still carrying Zia. He set her down on the couch, and leaned against the coffee table, panting.

"What the heck…?" Gaz said, looking from one to the other.

Zia nodded nervously, "I'm really sorry about this, Gaz," she said, "But-"

"What are YOU doing here?!?!" came Dib's voice from the doorway between the house and the garage.

"I was just going to explain-" Zia started, but another voice cut her off again.

"GIR!! Why here of all places?!?!" It was Zim, standing in the front door.

"Not you too!" Dib said. The two boys strode across the room until they were nearly nose-to-nose, glaring at each other.

Gaz looked at Zia, "You were saying…?"

"Oh right," Zia said, "See – there's this bounty hunter after me and she's destroyed our house. We need some place to hide-,"

"Until she realizes she's chasing an ice-cream truck and gives up," Zim finished.

"What makes you think I'd help you?" Dib asked.

"You just will!!" Zim cried.

As the boys continued to argue, Gaz asked Zia, "Hey…where's that robot that always follows you around?"

"Right here," GIR said, spilling the pieces of APU out of his head.

Zia put a hand to her mouth, shocked.

Gaz looked at it, eyes open. "Whoa…you're not kidding when you said somebody's after you."

"I wouldn't lie about something like this," Zia said, then she winced.

"Hey are you ok?" Gaz asked.

"I think so – ow!" Zia winced again, "uh oh…"

GIR hurried over to her. "What's happening, Mistress?"

"I think…" Zia said quietly, "I think I'm going into labor…the contractions are starting…"

"Labor??" said Gaz, "You mean, Dib was right? You're pregnant?"

Zia's voice was strained as she replied, "I won't be for much longer…" she put a hand on her stomach, not knowing how else to deal with the spurts of pain that kept coming.

"Uh oh," Gaz said, and then some female-instinct kicked in and she turned to the boys, who were now through arguing and were wrestling on the floor, "Guys…Guys…Hey MORONS!!"

Zim and Dib stopped where they were and looked up. Zim was on top of Dib, one hand holding him down while the other was lifted in a fist. Dib had one hand on Zim's throat and the other was pulling on his antenna (Zim's wig & contacts had been knocked off during the fight).

"We've got a problem here," Gaz said, gesturing to Zia, who had now started to sweat, and was still cringing in pain.

Zim let go of Dib and jumped up. "Oh my gosh! I almost forgot!" he cried, "Horrid Dib-creature! You distracted me!"

"What??" Dib said, standing up and straightening his glasses, "What's going on?"

"My mate is about to lay her egg," Zim said exasperatedly, "We need to get her someplace more appropriate!"

"How about Dib's room?" Gaz suggested.

"WHAT????" Dib exclaimed.

"It'll do," Zim said, "Hurry!"

So Gaz headed up the stairs, followed by GIR carrying Zia, then Zim, and Dib trailing behind, still protesting. Once up in Dib's room, Gaz ordered, "Shut the door and lock it, Dib."

Dib did so grudgingly, "I still don't see why we're helping them," he muttered. He crossed the room and pressed a button on his desk. A thin plastic covering wrapped over everything. "At least my stuff is safe."

Gaz spread a sheet over Dib's sofa-bed (which the girl behind the keyboard thought it would be cool for him to have), then GIR lifted Zia up onto it. She reached up and pulled off her disguise and tossed them on the floor.

Dib just stared at her in shock. He couldn't believe this was happening – an alien was giving birth in his bedroom! As gross as this seemed to him, he figured it was something most paranormal investigators only dreamed about. He couldn't help feel sorry for Zia though, she really looked like she was in pain. He turned to Zim, "What do we do now?"

"Mistress knows," GIR said, pointing at Zia.

They both looked over and saw she was kicking her boots off and tugging at her leggings. GIR jumped up and grabbed Dib's glasses off of his face, "No looking!"

"Hey! I wasn't going to – don't be disgusting!" Dib cried, feeling the empty air around him blindly, "Give me back my glasses!"

GIR looked to Zim for approval. Zim didn't give the 'OK' until Zia was settled again. Then GIR stuck the glasses back on Dib's face. Dib blinked a few times, readjusting his eyes. As the world came back into focus, he saw Zim was at Zia's side, letting her squeeze the circulation out of his hand as she endured another contraction.

Then Gaz started shoving him towards the door. "Go see if Dad's got anything in his lab that'll help."

"What?" Dib asked, "Why would Dad have anything like that?"

"I don't know," Gaz said, "He's got everything down there. Just go see."

Grumbling, Dib headed downstairs. Prof. Membrane was in the kitchen, so he snuck quietly past and hurried down to the basement. Once there, he didn't know where to start. He searched the area quickly and was surprised to find a large cabinet labeled "KIDS THINGS".

Curious, but not thinking it could help, Dib opened the cabinet. Inside were shelves of invented-toys that they'd out-grown. And below that, there was a very high-tech looking device labeled "Fetal Monitor".

Dib raised an eyebrow, "Why would you KEEP that??" The he shrugged and picked it up – it was amazingly light. He realized Prof. Membrane must have built this one especially for their mother. His expression saddened as he thought of the mother he couldn't remember. But he couldn't dwell on it for to long, because he heard footsteps on the stairs!

He ducked into the shadows of the staircase and watched as his dad came into the lab, carrying the pieces of APU! "Honestly, the things these kids leave lying around," he was saying, "I guess I've got time to fix it now…"

Dib didn't waste time to worry. He darted upstairs as soon as his dad's back was turned. When he got back to his room, things hadn't changed much. Zim, Gaz and GIR looked up as he came in. "Finally," Gaz said, coming over to look at what he'd brought, "Let's get her hooked up to this."

"Gaz…" Dib said, "I don't know how to use that."

"I've played games more complicated than this," she said, taking the monitor from him. In a matter of minutes, she had Zia hooked up to it and had it running. A small screen on the front showed a line graph of the contractions as they came and went. Below that, there was a monitor meant for keeping track of the baby's condition. That part didn't work because of the egg shell, but they didn't really worry about it.

The contractions continued for about a half-hour, and then the pain really started it. "Oh," Zia moaned, "Here it comes…"

Zim was looking almost as exhausted as Zia was, but he hadn't left her side for a minute. He swallowed hard and stroked her head gently. "It's ok," he said softly, "Just hold on."

She nodded bravely, and shut her eyes as the egg started its decent. She bit her tongue to keep from crying out in pain, but tears were welling in her eyes. She gave Zim's hand another squeeze, but by this time it had already gone numb, so he didn't react. He just kept comforting her, trying his best to be supportive.

Dib and GIR watched from the sidelines in awe. GIR was seated on the floor, cradling his unattached arm. Dib was just standing there, totally overwhelmed by the whole thing.

The door opened and they boys all looked up, alarmed, but it was just Gaz, who had gone down the hall for a dry cloth, which she gave to Zim after she shut the door. He wiped down Zia's face and then his own, as he was sweating even more than she was.

Time seemed to stand still until Zia screamed and the egg was out, with an unexpected 'pop'. It slid off the sofa-bed and across the floor, leaving a trail of green slime behind it. It came to a stop at Gaz's feet. She reached down and picked it up. It was about 15 inches long and 10 inches in diameter, and a pale green color with dark green spots.

"Wow…" Dib breathed, "Alien slime!!" He rushed to his desk and pulled out a vile and held it under the egg, letting the slime-coating drip into it.

"It's huge," Gaz said.

GIR smiled, "That's 'cuz there's TWO babies inside! Right?"

Zim didn't answer. He had fainted from relief.

Zia sighed, a mix of relief and fatigue. Gaz walked over to her, holding out the egg. "Congratulations…I guess," she said.

"Thanks," Zia said, "I'm really sorry about this…thank you both."

Dib put a hand behind his head and grinned sheepishly, "Aw, it was nothin'."

Gaz groaned.

GIR poked at Zim. "Master? Master, wake up!"

"Huh…? Wha…?" Zim said as he sat up.

"Welcome back," Zia said, "We did it."

"We…we did?" Zim asked, then noticed the egg Gaz was still holding, "We did – didn't we?"

"Yup," Dib said, and put a hand on Zim's shoulder, "I never would have thought you could – but you pulled it off. Congrats."

Zim looked at Dib, trying to hide the gratitude he was feeling. "Yeah, thanks," he muttered. He turned back to Zia, but she had fallen peacefully to sleep.

"I think she's got the right idea," Gaz said, wiping the slime off the egg with the towel she'd brought in earlier.

Dib opened his closet and pulled out a pile of blankets. The laid one over Zia, and wrapped the egg in another, in an attempt to keep it warm. Then they each sat down on the floor, leaning against the sofa-bed, each bundled in their own blanket. It barely took them any time to fall asleep, as the night's events had taken a toll on all of them.

* * *

Out in the streets, Shyra let out a cry of outrage at the universe. Then she accepted temporary failure and summoned the Wraith Shadow to her.

***A note from the Girl behind the Keyboard: Ok guys! I'm announcing the "Design the Bounty Hunter Contest!" I can't seem to finalize what I think Shyra Jasten should look like – so I'd love to see what you think! Just use the description I've given in previous chapters. If any of you are interested, you can put a link to the pictures in your review of the next chapter. There's no real prize involved (sorry I can't afford it), but I'll announce which one I like best after a few days. Ok? So, I hope to get some response from you guys – you know I love you all! Later – Invader Sam ^_~ ***