I Will Always Love You
By: Zarabeth McGregor
Chapter 2: Tonight and the Rest of My Life
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or Gundam Wing. The song 'Tonight and the Rest of My Life' is copyrighted to Nina Gordon.
~*~
*Down to the earth I fell
With dripping
wings
Heavy things won't fly*
'I did it…' Rei thought as she ran down the pavement. She absently stepped in puddles of water as she did. A heavy downpour fell while they were in the karaoke place.
'Why did I do it?' she asked silently. She knew she hurt Wufei. Badly.
The karaoke bar thing was her idea. Well, technically. Technically because she didn't feel like herself when she did it. It was like she was on the outside of her body looking on as some imposter took over. But she knew she had to do it. Because if she didn't do it now, the hurt she would have caused him later on would be even greater than what he was presently feeling.
*And the
sky might catch on fire
And burn the axis of the world*
"Hey! Watch it!" a teenaged boy yelled as Rei blindly barreled into him. But she didn't stop. She didn't even hear him. She kept running. Was she in her body now? Sure felt like it, because it hurt like hell when she suddenly fell and twisted her ankle.
"Are you okay, Miss?"
"Let me help you…"
"Are you hurt?" Several hands reached down to her, and voices blended into one. She looked up and saw several youma arms reaching down at her, ready to grab her. Rei looked up into their ugly, terrifying faces, saw the murderous intent in their eyes. She smelt death and decay, and she felt one grab at her.
"Get away!!" she screamed, wriggling out of its grasp. Another reached down. She gave it a stinging slap and she heard it curse. "Leave me alone!!" she started slapping, punching and kicking every which way. She didn't notice that her beautiful red dress was getting ripped and stained. She wouldn't have cared either. Oh how she wished she had her transformation pen. Finally they moved. With one withering glare, she started up running again. Well, the best she could do while limping.
*That's why
I prefer a sunless sky
To the glittering and stinging in my eyes*
She staggered to the apartment door and turned the knob. It wouldn't budge. She pulled on it again. And again. Still won't budge.
"Goddamnit!" she shouted. She kicked the door, hard and it gave a re-sounding 'twang' as her red platforms came into contact with it. She kicked it again and again and again for all it was worth. Then the pain set in, dully. Rei gave a gasping sob, as she remembered the keys in her purse and hastily put them in. She had to get in there, right now. Sanctuary.
*And I feel so light
This is all I want to feel tonight
And I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life*
She stumbled in and threw down her purse. Almost blindly, she walked into her room and pulled open the bedside table's drawer. Her hands groped through all the ruble and confusion until she found them. The little white bottle fit in the palm of her hand. They rattled inside, and it was music to Rei's ears. She stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the light. Reaching for the plastic cup, she filled it with tap water. Rei looked up. Repulsion hit immediately.
"Good God…" she muttered softly, weakly. "Is this me?" The mirror never lied. Her face was grey and drawn. Her eyes were dull and lifeless. Thin lines were etched into her youthful face and rivers of mascara were dried to her cheeks. She looked down at her bottle and felt a surge of relief. If she took these, by this time tomorrow, she would be on cloud nine. So, Rei gingerly untwisted the cap and shook five tiny pills out. The doctor had said one a day, but she soon found that three or four would make her feel even better. But lately she had upped the dosage. She put them in her mouth and followed them up with the water. She looked in the mirror again, disgusted and determined.
'More…more…more,' a voice whispered. She leaned over the sink, panting.
"No…" she muttered, "I don't want to."
'More…more…'
"It's not right."
'Moooooooorrrrrrrre…'
"Shut up!" she screamed, covering her ears. She panted, looking in the mirror. She hated what she saw. Rei picked up the bottle and threw out a one or two more. But her hand won't stop. It shook out more and more until the bottle was empty. She felt her hand rise, but it didn't feel like hers. Once again, she was on the outside looking in. Looking at herself in front of the mirror, in a torn red dress, swallowing many tiny white anti-depressants.
With the intensity of an uppercut to the face, Rei felt herself violently 'put back' into her body. She felt heady, light, almost giddy. With a slight smile of satisfaction, she half sauntered, half stumbled back into her room. She lay on the bed. With a good night's sleep, she would be back to normal. God she hoped this would be over.
*Gleaming
in the dark sea
I'm as light as air floating there breathlessly*
She opened her eyes and found herself on her bed. But other than that, nothing was as how she remembered it. She was dressed in a white flowing dress. She looked around and realized she was in a garden. Flowers were all over the place, with trees and vines and miniature fountains. It was easily the most beautiful place she had ever been.
"Reiko…" she heard a wispy, though distinct voice. A very familiar voice.
"Grandpa?" Rei looked around and sure enough, there he was. Short and stooped over, he was just as Rei remembered him. He wore a big bright smile on his face. "Grandpa!" she shouted happily and started to jump off the bed. How she missed him so, his powerful hugs and his dry humor.
"Stop," he commanded, holding up a hand. Rei frowned.
"What?" she asked softly.
"Not yet, not yet…" he said over and over again…
*When the
dream dissolves
I open up my eyes*
Rei woke with a start. She looked around frantically, and realized she was in her room. The garden and her grandfather were nowhere in sight. It seemed so real.
*I realize that
Everything is shoreless sea
A weightlessness is passing over me*
She felt light, so incredibly light. Rei felt she could soar and fly. She saw images flashing before her, as if they were on a projector screen. Her and her grandfather, her and the scouts laughing, she and Serena bantering, another of the both of them laughing and hugging. Her, Serena, Mina and Lita checking out the guys while Ami shook her head disdainfully at them. Her and Wufei. Several of the both of them. Talking, walking, bantering, hugging, kissing, doing more than kissing. She saw herself flying over a large expanse of nothingness. Nothing. She looked for the images and they were gone. Nothing.
*And I feel
so light
This is all I want to feel tonight
And I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life
Tonight and the rest of my life*
She was flying, high. And it was an immensely pleasant experience. She wanted to feel like this forever.
*Everything is waves and stars
The universe is resting in my arms*
Voices. She heard them. But they weren't a part of her 'out of this world' experience. They were right here, in her apartment.
"Rei?" Serena. "Do you see anything?"
"No, not yet," Heero. Rei smiled. At least she got to see Serena.
"Rei…"her voice was close, very close. "Are you all right?" she heard footsteps coming to her bed. "Rei…" an abrupt pause. Then a startled gasp. "Heero, call the ambulance!" she now felt a stinging in her cheeks, repeatedly. "Rei…Rei! Rei, damn you, are you awake?" A stifled sob. "Are you alive?" Rei opened her eyes slowly, tilting her head sideways. In the dull light, she could make Serena out, her pale, frightened and now tear-stained face.
"Rei," she said firmly. She held up the white bottle. Where the hell'd she get that from? "Did you take these?" Rei didn't answer, she just smiled. "For God's Sake, Rei, there isn't a single fucking pill left!" Serena's voice rose shrilly.
"And-I-feel-so-light," Rei sang haltingly. Serena sobbed. "This-is-all-I-wa-na-feel-to-night…"
"Rei…" Serena sobbed. "Please, don't do this to me. You're my best friend."
"And-I-feel-so-light…" she swallowed painfully, and fixed her smile back into place. "Tonight-and-t-the-r-re-rest-of-my-my-life…"
"Rei!!!" Serena screamed. She was vaguely aware of Serena shaking her, but she didn't care. She was going home. "Rei! Oh, god…don't do this to me!" she screamed. Rei looked over and saw a figure in the doorway. Heero. He looked so utterly helpless. She pitied him. Then, she closed her eyes…
*And I feel
so light
This is all I want to feel tonight
And I feel so light
Tonight and the rest of my life*
*Tonight and the rest of my life*
