LITTLE THINGS: Man of My Dreams
by Janet Elizabeth
Dear Diary,
I have a terrible secret to tell you diary, and it involves both my cousin Pippin and a man by the name of Boromir of Gondor. You see, on the way here to Rivendell, I found myself doing a thing that I should never have done. I kissed Pippin. I'm still not sure why I did or what made me want to kiss him in particular, seeing as he's my cousin and all, but nonetheless I kissed him.
I haven't kissed him since, but he has been looking at me expectantly. I'm not sure what he wants but I don't think it's something I want. It was only a kiss and well, I've been a bit confused lately. I don't feel like other hobbit lads approaching their majority. I don't find most of the lasses to be that interesting and I seem to prefer the company of the lads. That would be fine if that's all it was but it doesn't stop there. I have found myself with feelings that a lad is supposed to have for a lass, or so I'm told that's how lads feel about lasses.
I first noticed it when the lads were bathing at Crickhollow. I saw them in the altogether, which is not uncommon for hobbit lads to do amongst family and close friends, but I started to get a squicky feeling in my belly as I looked at their young Hobbit bodies. Sort of a fluttery hot and cold sensation. I hurried away as soon as that started to finish the supper, but I couldn't get it out of my head. And when we all were taken by the Barrow Wight in the Downs and we ran naked in the sunshine after, I had that same feeling. I was very glad to get some clothes on and continue our journey.
In Bree, things got worse. We met up with a man called Strider, who it turns out is of the line of kings or some such for a kingdom away down south and while we were all on the road to Rivendell, it was difficult not to see each other's nude bodies. It doesn't mean anything amongst males, or so it shouldn't, but I couldn't help but find myself fascinated with the human male anatomy. It's not that much different from a Hobbit's but on a much larger scale and with more hair. I had taken to spying on Strider during his eliminations, which I know is wrong in any case but I just had to see more of that human male body. It was after one such instance, when I saw Strider touching himself in a pleasurable way that I kissed Pippin. I was so overwrought and excited by what I had seen that I just had to kiss someone, even if just to know how it felt.
After that, Frodo was stabbed and neither Pip nor myself had any interest in our extra nighttime activities. But then we arrived in Rivendell and it is here that I find myself overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings that I don't know how to control. There is another man, a man from the kingdom of Gondor. He is a warrior, stern and tall and his name is Boromir.
I saw him a few days after we arrived, while Frodo was still recovering. He didn't see me but I certainly saw him arrive. He rode up on his horse looking rough from living on the trail but something in me just stopped and I felt faint. It seems like he is something out of one of my vague dreams and I'm so very confused.
But I can't help but wonder at these feelings that are inspired within my humble Hobbit heart. He is so very tall and very handsome, much more like a king that Strider and there is a burning desire in me to kiss this tall human and bring a smile to his lips. I want to see his eyes light up with delight because of me. I want to touch his face and have his strong hands touch me. I know this might be wrong in some circles, but I care not for those who don't want to understand. I want this man from out of my dreams.
I have to go now. Pippin is looking for me. He's shouting something about Frodo and I have to
make sure that my cousin is okay. I just hope Pippin doesn't ask me about Boromir, because I
might have to tell the truth. I will write more later diary.
Meriadoc Brandybuck
THE END
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